Nicole Gillard was, for all purposes, a fairly normal girl, despite being more than a bit youtube famous. She was a member of the Eat Your Kimchi crew, hosting a segment about dramas on Tuesdays, called Carefully Observing Creative Kdramas, aka . It was, after Music Mondays, the most viewed segment, and it was fairly common for her to be stopped by Nasties seeking autographs and photos, which she was always glad to provide. Still, she liked anonymity better than just about anything, especially in the morning, when she seemed less like a snarky internet critic and more like an angry tiger. No one had ever called Nicole Gillard a morning person.

                She walked down the streets of Seoul at a fairly brisk pace, in sharp contrast to everyone else, who viewed the beautiful spring morning as an excuse to meander about. Nicole barely noticed, being unfed, uncaffeinated, and unaware of anything, due to her earbuds blasting AC/DC at the highest possible volume in a desperate attempt to jolt her brain into functioning. It wasn’t working, though, as she slipped into her favorite breakfast place, a tiny hole-in-the-wall near the YG Studio. Convenient and on her way? No. Only place she could find croissants worthy of being called croissants? Yes. So she was a pastry snob. She was raised on the food of her Grandmere, a French war bride; she was allowed to be a pastry snob.

                20 minutes later, she was semi functional, with a fresh chocolate croissant in hand and half a hot chocolate in the other, giving her enough of a sugar high to get to the studio, where a fridge of ice cold Coke awaited her. She perked up even more, when her iPod, working on the glory of shuffle mode, switched from You Shook Me All Night Long to one of her favorite songs ever, Lollipop part 2, putting her into an instant happy place. Unfortunately, this also put her farther from reality as she bounced her head to the beat. It was like this, eyes half closed as she waited for the light at the crosswalk to change, lost in chocolate, and sugar, and “Girl, you’re my lolli lolli” that she felt someone grab her shoulder and pull, hard, at which point she reacted like any black belt: dropping her empty cup and pastry, she grabbed her assailant’s hand, yanked it down in front of her and twisted it with enough force to send them tumbling to the ground. With her attacker sprawled at her feet, Nicole swiftly put her foot on their shoulder, which, combined with hand she hadn’t let go of, kept them pinned to the ground quite effectively. Using her free hand, to remove her earbuds, she actually looked at the jackass in front of her for the first time, and then looked at her squashed breakfast. Giving approximately no s about all of the netizens taking photos and videos of a top idol getting tossed on their by tiny foreign chick, she leaned onto the foot currently planted on Seungri’s shoulder and said the only thing she really cared about- “You owe me a new croissant.”