HANGOVER

It has been three weeks since I last spoke to Sehun properly and four since Yifan and I broke up, I got the nagging feeling that this year would the worst. I even began to form some theories in my head that the universe was plotting against me, I believed that even Madonna was involved in this, or perhaps this was some sort of TV show like Punk'd and Ashton Kutcher would come out of nowhere, the last one was that this was a bad dream and I would eventually wake up from it.

To be honest, all of them seem stupid if not pathetic; to make matters worse Amber was hyper avoiding me and it seemed like she knew something about me that I didn't and I was wondering if she knew the answer to my predicament, did I or not have with Sehun, I mean she had to know something her room is next to mine. I understood Amber unwillingness to talk to me, because I myself was unwilling to look at her in the eyes, I felt like a horrible person and I knew I was a awful friend to her; even after my treason Amber lied for me to Yifan, her best friend, that showed the kind of friend she was and how I had ruin that friendship for making decisions based on alcohol, which I wasn't even sure I did.

The only relieved I got during those tortures weeks was when Krystal and Qian didn't question me again about Sehun, but even then I been feeling pretty sick, I felt like I was hungover everyday for the last whole week.

I was in the kitchen preparing my lunch because I felt like my stomach could digest at least sandwich when Qian stormed in fuming.

-Stupid - she said hitting the counter.

 -What’s wrong? - I said making sure there was no knife near her

- Lu Han broke up with me- my mouth drop the last few weeks she and Lulu seem to be going steady- he said there was someone else.

-What? - That wasn't my voice but it could have been, Sunyoung was standing in the door looking as shock as I was -Did he told you who she was?-

- Why are you even implying is a She? - Soojung appear behind Sun

- What are you trying to say? - I took a big bite of my snack

-I mean Luhan is so pretty he could look possibly be mistaken as a girl, and all Exo is so closed- was she saying Luhan was queer?

- I heard they showered together- said Amber entering the room

- is this truth Riri? You must know something, Yifan is the leader, he should have mention it to you, and does Kyungsoo shower with them? –What the actual ? I mean of course I knew this but I wasn't about to reveal it, Tao would kill me if I spill his secret.

-I know nothing about it- I said biting my sandwich

- You are lying- said Krystal pulling the stool next to mine

- I'm not- said with my mouth full.

-Of course you are you are doing that thing with your eyes, the one that you do when you lie- gosh, do I actually do something when I lie, no wonder my parents never believe my lies.

- I just know that Yixing and Luhan don't do it- I said, trying to convince myself that I wasn't actually revealing Tao's secret, was I? - I'm sorry I know nothing about D.O.’s shower tendencies- I said apologetically to Sunyoung.

- Does Yifan shower with them? - Amber asked, now she's talking to me.

-I... I Don't know-  I stuttered  looking down,  to be honest he showers with Tao all the time, I bet he and Tao have shower together more than we ever did while dating.

-Whatever- said Soojung picking on my sandwich- Just because Lulu doesn't shower with  Tao it doesn't mean he is any less gay, I mean we call him Lulu for god's sake- she did have a point.

-He does spend a lot of time with Minseok- Said Sunyoung trying to get a piece of my sandwich.

- Do you think Minseok knows who this girl is? - was Qian stupid?

- Even if he knows he won't tell you - I said trying to get the flies out of my snack.

- I bet they're dating-  said Krystal proud of herself, like she just found the cure of cancer- they already spend way too much time together and they're roommates- thinking about it, they did kind of act like a couple.

- Wait a minute how do you know they're roommates if you have never been at Exo's- something smells fishy in here.

- Lu Han may have mention it- she squealed - that's not the point, the point is there's no woman  there's a man- now she was deflecting, someone have been swimming in the fish tank, Exo's fish tank.

-How can you even thing about Minseok in that way he is so cute, little baozi is the cutest person in the world- they look at me bemused.

- What's a baozi? - questioned Krystal

- How did you called him? -  Sunyoung looks like she wanted to laugh.

Man I have no filter apparently, now I was revealing Exo's secret and more importantly what was wrong with Soojung how could she not know what a Baozi was. I opened my mouth several times to explain myself but I couldn’t how could I explain baozis, you don't explain them you just eat them.

- Anyways Sehun and Luhan spend way too much time together too- I was surprised Amber was mentioning Sehun, were they talking? Did they ever stop talking? Did they agree to ignore me?

- You should ask Sehun, Riri- Qian urged me; suddenly my stomach couldn't hold my half eaten sandwich anymore.

- Yeah I will the next time I see him- I said standing up I don't think my stomach could hold my food or talking about Sehun, I was doing the math of how long would it take me to get to the bathroom, will my stomach hold that long.

- Oh, there's something I forgot to tell you - said Qian, I turned around unwillingly- I saw Yifan with that Seohyun girl, she was all over him-

-Isn't she in your sister's sorority Krystal? - Asked amber, but I couldn't hear anything else because I didn't make it to the restroom instead I ran to the sink and threw my guts out in the dirty dishes.

- Riri, are you ok? - asked Soojung getting my hair out of my face

-You look kind of pale- said Qian handing me a glass of water.

- Yeah- I answer with a hoarse voice- I'm just going to clean this and head to bed.

-Don't be silly, will get the cleaning service to do it, you should go to bed a rest - Amber's candor made me want to cry I just nodded stupidly. 

As I was midway through the stairs when Sunyoung called me -Hey Riri, you are on your period right? - I was halfway through my nod when I stop realizing I wasn't- Good, do you happen to have any extra tampons? It caught me off guard and I haven't bought any-

-No, I'm sorry I ran out of them- last month, I finished in my head

I made all the way to my room with my heart beating so fast I could hear it. Why was Sunyoung asking me for tampons, she was a pads only kind of girl, she said she tried on one and felt violated, did she and Kyungsoo... I slap myself why was I even thinking about Sunyoung V card, what was wrong with me.

I sigh thinking a hundred  and one reasons why I haven't bought tampons yet, then I checked my planner and made the math in my head, I was supposed to be done with it by now, I was late by 10 days. Suddenly all make sense, my hangover like sickness, my loss of appetite and the vomiting. I chastised myself,  I shouldn't be thinking like that, maybe it was all the stress I have been under, breaking up with Yifan, seeing him with his brigade and… sleeping with Sehun, that last sentence broke me into cold sweat. I repeated to myself that I was imagining thinks, that I was getting crazy with the entire drama going and decided to go to bed.

The rest of the week I couldn't sleep or pay attention to any of my class, Thursday when I was trying to watch Punk'd with Amber, whom apparently was done avoiding me, I couldn't enjoy the sight of Ashton pranking people, all I could think of the impossibility of a baby growing inside me. So by Friday I decided to ditch school and went to a pharmacy outside of campus, were no one would recognized me and bought two litters of orange juice and drank to coffees from the vending machine, and got three different kinds of pregnancy test.

I made sure no one was home and locked myself in the bathroom. Peeing in the little sticks was the hardest thing I have done in my life, besides of doing it without getting your hands wet, I felt like that time when Yifan convinced me to go to an amusement park with him and the guys, I was petrified just by seeing the attraction, now it was just looking at the box.

I had to muster all the courage I have left to look at the little stick in my hand, I really wish for this to be a dream or even to Ashton at appeared at my door, but none of that happened so I looked at the pregnancy test praying that only one pink line would show on. Counting to three in my head I did it the only thing I could do was sigh in relief when it did, I was not pregnant I jump and almost do a flip dropping the devil stick picking it up I almost drop it again when I saw that I had changed my first line was accompanied by a new one.

I took the next test that I peed on then; the third only to confirm that the first one was wrong, but it wasn't,  they all say I was pregnant. I wanted to die in that moment; I was pregnant with Sehun's baby.

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