Holding my completed paper with a flourish, I rolled my wrist around and cracked my fingers. Although it was hard work, there was still something liberating about handwriting an essay. Seeing my own handwriting on a blank, clean sheet of paper gave me a sense of pride and achievement that I would never get from typing it up.

“Hmmm, explain the properties of the performing arts. You could’ve asked me to help with that” startled, I whipped around too fast in my chair, twisting my back. Groaning, I glanced up at the intruder and rolled my eyes when I saw Bang Yong Guk’s face peering at me over a pile of books. Standing up, I took half the pile off him and helped him stack it into his bag, which was already overflowing with various sorts of books and stationary.

“What are you doing with all this stuff anyway? The Art of the English Language and Common Literature? What, are you studying to become a philosopher?” I asked jokingly, flipping through the numerous titles that he had checked out from the library. All of the books either had something to do with English literature or the performing arts. I had known him for a week, and all I ever saw him do was study, study and study. Everywhere he went, his bag was always full to the brim and his head was always buried in some book or other.

“Well, some people aren’t as good at English as others, you know” he answered simply, already preparing to lose himself in his latest book.

“I thought this was only for a few months? Do you actually have to study to hard and get good marks?” I asked, suddenly curious as to why he was studying like this. By this rate, he was studying harder than me, and that was hard to beat.

“Uh, well you see the truth is that all my members’ school locations have already been discovered by fans and due to this, they had to drop out. Only Himchan and I are left and I made a bet with him that I will be able to stay in school longer than he can” he laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair.

“Well then, study hard” I grinned at him and he smiled back, clearly relieved that I did not judge him on this.

“By the way, I’m rooting for you. Although Janice will be going for Himchan obviously” I winked and turning back to my work, I swore I saw him blush. “He totally likes you” Janice’s words on the first day rang in my head and I ignored them, shaking my hair out furiously, as if this would cleanse those accusations out of my system. Feeling Bang’s eyes on me, I glanced at him and as if caught in the act of something he shouldn’t be doing, he spun around quickly, but not before I saw his face, which was the colour of tomatoes that I had once grown in my backyard in Australia.

“You alright oppa?” I asked, testing the word for “big brother” out for the first time. This however was evidently not a good idea, as he flushed an even deeper red, if that was possible and muttering something unintelligible, he picked up his bag and shuffled away into the towering columns of bookshelves. Watching him until he disappeared into the shadows, I shrugged and stood up, deciding to call it quits for a day. After all, it was a bright, sunny Sunday and it would stupid of me not to take advantage of it.

I took on a leisurely pace to the magnificent dandelion field in front of the university, where students and professors of every age went to relax almost every day. Either it was a break from classes, or an overflow of work, or just simply gossip sessions with friends, the endless field was a favourite for the whole population of the university.

Placing my bag down in a soft spot, I lay back and closed my eyes, letting my body sink into the soft earth. Dozing off, I was startled by a sudden shadow that fell over me. Squinting at the person blocking my sun, I sighed and cleared my throat.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here? Do I actually see my dear little Jane relaxing? Wait, it’s an apocalypse!” Janice squealed and giggling, she plopped down beside me. Taking a deep breath, her eyelids fluttered closed and for a while, I studied her elfin features. Red hair and an upturned nose, she had a scattering of freckles across her pale skin. Her eyes, a dark green colour, were framed by golden eyelashes. A rare and unique beauty, she had a never ending stream of suitors at her hand. While she received attention from the preppy, nerdy boys, I attracted a different type of boy entirely. Compared to her fair, innocent beauty, I was something of a dark, mysterious character. Due to my gypsy origins, I had olive skin, forever tanned whether there was sun or not, dark ringlets of hair and light brown eyes framed by long, thick lashes the same shade as my hair. However, as I had been told countless of times, my bright, cheery personality was a stark contrast to my brooding appearance.

Letting out a puff of breath, I lay back down, cherishing the moment of rare calmness in my crazy life. Not long after though, the sun was blocked out again and this time, I didn’t even bother to open my eyes.

“Janice, quit blocking out my sun” I chastised. When she didn’t answer, I cracked open an eyelid and let out a small chuckle when I recognized the figure standing over me.

“Hey, Yong Guk. Decided to escape the gloom of the inside and come out into the sun? I knew you weren’t secretly a vampire” Janice snorted at my little joke and Bang cracked a small smile.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to talk to you for a bit” Bang requested, glancing at Janice with raised eyebrows. Getting the message, she jumped up and with a cheery “have fun!” skipped off. We watched her for a little while and when she disappeared behind a large column at the edge of the field, I turned toward Bang, ready to give him my full attention. Waiting expectantly for an answer, I patted the space beside me and with a “thump”, he sat down beside me.

“So what is this big and important proposition?” I asked, curious. With Bang, big announcements were never his thing. Instead, he preferred to state his message through small, subtle speeches.

“Um, I know it’s only been a week since we’ve known each other, but to be truthful with you, the only reason why I haven’t returned to my company is because of you” he stuttered. Although he had stumbled over his words, his kept his gaze steady and fixed on me the whole time. There was a certainty to his eyes that I had never seen before, both off camera and on camera; as if this was the surest thing he had ever known in his entire life.

“Wow. I’m not that special you know” I laughed nervously, attempting to break or at least waver his intense gaze.

“No, you are special. You’re the smartest, brightest and most beautiful girl I’ve ever met” he insisted, forever pressing on, determined to get his point across.

Feeling myself blush, I looked away and Janice’s words rolled through my head again. “Anyone can see that”. Could they though? Or was it just me that had been in the dark the whole time, denying that Bang could ever have the possibility of having feelings for me? I delved deep inside of my heart and searched for those feelings that I now knew that Yong Guk had. Stirrings in my chest suggested the slow but definite possibility that my heart was opening up again, letting people in. But were these feelings true? Or a fleeting hallucination? Turning my head once again toward Yong Guk, who had not dropped his gaze, I forced a smile. Relief flooded his features and painfully, I kept my fake smile on my face. Now, watching him with new eyes, I saw that he was an attractive man, both inside and out. Back when I had been a fan, everything about him had been perfect in my eyes. But now, after truly carving away that top layer, I had seen the real him, the side that he did not show on camera. Although sweet and charming, he could also be impulsive, and sometimes a little controlling, especially when it came to work. But, as I had come to realize, these were the characteristics that made who he was, and it was that part of Yong Guk that I had truly come to love, as a friend.

Seeing my expression soften, he took this as a sign to go forward, to take the next step. Leaning in slowly and cautiously, he came closer and closer. Finally, when our lips were barely a few centimetres away from each other, a tap on my shoulder and the clearing of a throat broke me out of my trance. Pulling back suddenly, and seeing the hurt expression on Yong Guk’s face, my heart tore into pieces. I should not have let him get close in the first place, as I knew better than anyone else that I would eventually end up hurting him.

Janice of course knew this as well, maybe even better than me and as always, it was her that had saved me and him from revealing my true self under this hard shell that I had built up over the years. I glanced up at her gratefully and she nodded. Bang, flaming red, picked up his bag quickly and standing up slightly unsteadily, inclined his head at both of us before quickly walking, nearly running away across the lush green fields.

“Thanks for that. I wasn’t about to let him, you know. But thanks anyway” I turned around, keeping my gaze fixed on the grass beneath my feet. Janice snorted and rolled her eyes.