I received a call from Kris that night. I let the phone ring and after three missed calls, I finally picked up. For the past three missed calls, I keep on imagining the conversation and all conversations seemed to end badly. I decided to answer the call in order to get it over and done with.

“Len?” I heard Kris say.

“I’m here” I answered and I heard him sigh.

“Hey” He continued and I didn’t say anything after. I heard him sighing and breathing. I could hear him getting anxious.

“Why are you calling Kris?” I finally asked.

“I just, I just wanted to call you” He said.

“You need to have a better reason” I bluntly replied.

“I have something to tell you. I need to tell you something but I don’t want to talk about it over the phone.” He confessed.

“Why?”

“I need to talk to you in person. I’ll come over first thing tomorrow, okay?” He asked.

I could only sigh; I couldn’t say no, I knew I couldn’t force him to say it over the phone. Kris was like that, once he makes up his mind, he’ll stick to it.

I was still trying to enjoy my breakfast when I heard Kris’ voice at the door. Tia welcomed him in and he immediately search for me at the breakfast table. He walked towards me and gave me a side hug before sitting down. I mentally noted not to be too affected by the hug.

“Where are you going today?” Tia asked Kris and I shook my head, we weren’t going anywhere today. I knew that.

“Oh, I’m bringing Lena out, I was thinking Gardens at the Bay” Kris answered and said his thanks to Jake as Jake passed him coffee.

I immediately turn towards Kris with a confused expression. I don’t think going out would be the best thing for us right now, especially at the garden.

“It’s okay, take your time, we can go whenever you are ready” Kris said and helped me move my fork towards the food. He then flashed me a smile which he knew could make me smile but not today. Not today.

“I’ll get ready then” I stood up and walked towards my room. It would be easier to just face this, I shouldn’t think about it, just face it straight up. It took a while for me to gain my composure back but I knew I had to. I had to wake up, I had to face this. I need to finish this conversation.

We held no conversation in the car. The only thing we could hear was the radio. I crossed my hands and look outside the car window, I wanted to say things to Kris but I stopped myself from saying anything stupid. I wanted to ask Kris things but I decided not to. I waited for Kris to start a conversation.

“Where did you go yesterday?” Kris asked glanced over at me.

“USS” I answered still looking outside the window, I don’t know what I was looking at really.

“USS? With who?” Kris asked again.

“Jake” I simply said.

“Jake? You went to USS with Jake?” Kris asked.

“Yes” I answered again. Kris finally had enough; he took my hands away and intertwined it with his. I tried to let it go but he instead held it tighter. “Let me go” I said still struggling with his hands.

“No” He answered.

When we arrived at the garden, I knew Kris made a lot of effort, I could see it on his face. I could feel it but I told myself to ignore it. As soon as I walked out the car, Kris grabbed onto my hands again and this time, I pushed them away, harshly. I thought that would be enough for him to understand, enough for him to know that I didn’t like it.

Instead he grabbed my wrist and made me turn towards him. He took his left hands and pulled my chin up, “Just today, please.” He then slowly put his hand back with mine. I shook my head and said “This is not right” out loud but he held onto it tighter.

When I walked inside the garden, I was in awe. It was beautiful, no, beautiful doesn’t cut it. It was stunning. I couldn’t help but be jaw-dropped with all the beauty in front of me. I walked slowly with Kris and I forgot all the fights we had. Seeing all the flowers blooming at its best was wonderful.

We strolled along the path and I watch the place with excitement. I could also see the Singapore Flyer outside and point it out to Kris and all he did was nod at my excitement. Kris smiled at me and held onto my hand tighter.

I then saw the man made waterfall and became more and more impressed. We walked into a Cloud Forest using a lift and the walk down was amazing. I kept on being impressed and without noticing, I was talking to Kris again.

“This is amazing” I exclaimed.

“I know right?” Kris agreed and all I could do was nod, “The first time I came here, I thought you would like it best, especially this”

“I love it” I said and continued to be marvelled by the beauty. The plants, flowers, trees made me forgot everything. I continued talking to Kris about the plants we noticed. I could feel my happiness creeping in.

Kris pointed out towards plants I didn’t even notice were there. There were so many things to look at.

I then knew why Kris had brought me here. He wanted me to feel and be at ease before we start talking, before we start having the conversation. I felt my heart leaped.

We spent almost most of the day and a few hours at night in the gardens and as the time passed by, I could feel Kris holding onto me tighter. He shifted his hands and put them onto my shoulders. My body was pressed onto his chest and I felt suffocated. I knew why he was being like that, he was tense, he was thinking. I knew the time had come, the time for him to hold the conversation. Honestly, I wasn’t ready too.