Chapter 4: The Pain Inside
APPA HYUNG (Contest Entry to AFF Summer Fic Writing Contest)
Chapter 4: The Pain Inside
Dongho, in a hospital gown, was awake, just sitting on the bed, being quiet.
Jaejoong, in a light yellow short-sleeved polo shirt and jeans, sat by the bed, thinking on what to do to make his brother eat, 'Someone, who loves to eat won't eat. Because of some fool, now, my brother is suffering. What did he ever do to her? He is just a kid, for goodness sake. This is just going to far!'
"Hey, Little Bear, how about if we go up to the garden?"
His eyes got bigger, and a frown was shown between his brows.
"There won't be many people there, if at all. Patients are the only ones, who are allowed to go there."
His face cleared, but was still thinking.
"Come on, aren't you bored, just lying there? You'll see a view of the place from up there."
He looked up at his dextrose.
"There is a wheelchair we can use, and it has something to hang that there, too."
He looked around the room.
"Aboji and Omma will be back, they just went home to change clothes, and Omma wants to cook some food for you."
He nodded his head.
"So, how about it? hmm?"
He looked at his brother for awhile before nodding his head.
Smiling, "Alright, I will be right back, I'll get your wheels."
A frown broke from his face.
"I won't be long, and not be far, I'll be just outside, by the nurse's station."
A frown can still be seen in his face, but he nodded his head.
"I'll be right back," patted his leg, and then stood up; then walked to the door, hand on the handle, looked back and waved, before opening the door and walking out and closing the door behind him. He talked to one of the nurses there, and ask for a wheelchair. The nurse was happy to provide the wheelchair. And not long after, he returned to the room with a wheelchair.
Upon entering the room, he smiled. "Little Bear, your wheels is here at your service."
A small half smile broke from the younger’s lips, "I think, it's you who wants to go up to the garden."
A half smile, "You found me out."
Jaejoong assisted Dongho off the bed, and helped him sit on the wheelchair. He took the dextrose and hang it on a hook. He stood in front of him, "Ready? Shall we?"
Dongho nodded in response.
"Okay, Off we go." Jaejoong went behind the wheelchair and pushed it. The siblings went out of the room and rode the elevator, and went up to the opened terrace garden. The people who saw them just let them be, and did not bother them.
When they reached the garden, there were not much people at that time. He pushed the wheelchair to a nearby bench, set it beside the bench and sat down right next to him.
"The sun is not so hot, and, there is a slight breeze."
Dongho just looked around his surroundings; looked at the view, of the nearby houses, buildings, cars, plants, and trees. He sighed.
"Soon, we'll be out of here."
Silence, no response.
"Come here Pet, sit with me."
He looked at his brother.
"It's okay." Jaejoong stood up, and stretched his hand to him, and Dongho, placed his hand to his, and slowly stood up. Jaejoong helped him get off his wheelchair. He sat down first, and pulled him to his lap, to let him sit down more comfortably, Dongho leaned against him, and had his arm around his shoulder.
"We often, sit like this, even when you were younger. You'd sit on our laps, Omma, Aboji, and me."
He leaned his head closer to his head, placed his chin on his shoulder, and placed his other arm slowly around his back, being careful of the dextrose. Jaejoong lightly placed his arms around him, too.
"Little Bear, what is wrong? Why won't you eat? Omma and Aboji are worried about you, it is not like you, not to eat."
Silence.
"Talk to me, you can tell me anything. And, I'll listen."
Silence.
"It will be between the two of us, promise, I won't tell anybody."
Silence. He gave this silent sigh.
He lightly massaged his back, "My Pet, if you like, I'll cook for you, just like before, remember, if, you wanted me to cook, I'd cook for you? Not just Omma, but me too, I'll cook for you. What would you like to have? hmmm Fried eggs? Kimchi rice? Sweet spicy rice cake? What? Tell me?"
"Hyung," he whispered, and raised his head higher, his lips close to his ear, his cheek touched his cheek.
"What?"
"I . . can't eat."
"Why? Why can't you eat?"
"Because . . it's . . food."
"What do you mean?"
"hmmm . . It's food . . when I look, I think it's bad for me. I could hardly even look, and not feel like vomiting. I can't even put it to my lips, and not feel like vomiting."
"Even if Omma cooked it?"
"It's food."
"You know, that Omma or I will not give you anything, that will be bad for you. She and I have been cooking your food for all these years."
"hmmm"
"But . . what then?"
"I know, but . . I . . just can't."
What if, I cook for you, and taste everything you eat? I'll even chew it for you, if you want."
"What?" Dongho withdrew his face a little apart and looked at his brother, "Isn't that gross? Yaak!" he frowned, and made faces as if disgusted.
"Omma and Appa Birds do that for their chicks, from their beak, the chicks get their food. I'd do it, if, it is going to make you eat."
"But, you are not my Appa, you are my Hyung," eyebrows drawn in a frown.
"So, I'd be your Appa Hyung."
"hmmm"
"Ye, I'd be your Appa Hyung, why did I not think of that before?"
He moved his cheek back to his cheek, then nuzzled his lips to his cheek. Then just rested his head against his head, and closed his eyes. "hmmm Ap . . pa . . Hyu . . ng, Appa Hyung, Appa Hyung, why does it sounds good?"
"Because, it is meant to be."
"Ye, maybe that is it, it sounds correct, for some matter."
"But, will you eat, if I cooked for you?"
He withdrew his head away again and looked at him questioningly, "You won't chew it, right?"
"Maybe," being the playful big brother.
"Yaak, it's gross! I don't think I'd eat it!" he looked grossed out.
"But, you can picture me doing it, right?" Jaejoong teased, a mischievous look on his face.
"Stop it! Your disgusting!" with a disgusted look on his face.
"hahahahaha" Jaejoong can't help but laugh at the look on his brother’s face.
"Now, when Omma, comes back with food, you will have to eat some, I will taste it first then feed you."
"hmmm I don't know," He answered, a serious look on his face, clearly contemplating the idea.
"You have to try," he was giving the convincing voice and look to his younger brother.
"hmmm Very, very, very small portion only," looked uncertain.
"Of course."
They stayed there for a while, talking about nothing in particular, passing the time. Occasionally they would be sharing a companionable silence. After sometime, they went back down to their room.
Dongho, in a hospital gown, was awake, just sitting on the bed, being quiet.
Jaejoong, in a light yellow short-sleeved polo shirt and jeans, sat by the bed, thinking on what to do to make his brother eat, 'Someone, who loves to eat won't eat. Because of some fool, now, my brother is suffering. What did he ever do to her? He is just a kid, for goodness sake. This is just going to far!'
"Hey, Little Bear, how about if we go up to the garden?"
His eyes got bigger, and a frown was shown between his brows.
"There won't be many people there, if at all. Patients are the only ones, who are allowed to go there."
His face cleared, but was still thinking.
"Come on, aren't you bored, just lying there? You'll see a view of the place from up there."
He looked up at his dextrose.
"There is a wheelchair we can use, and it has something to hang that there, too."
He looked around the room.
"Aboji and Omma will be back, they just went home to change clothes, and Omma wants to cook some food for you."
He nodded his head.
"So, how about it? hmm?"
He looked at his brother for awhile before nodding his head.
Smiling, "Alright, I will be right back, I'll get your wheels."
A frown broke from his face.
"I won't be long, and not be far, I'll be just outside, by the nurse's station."
A frown can still be seen in his face, but he nodded his head.
"I'll be right back," patted his leg, and then stood up; then walked to the door, hand on the handle, looked back and waved, before opening the door and walking out and closing the door behind him. He talked to one of the nurses there, and ask for a wheelchair. The nurse was happy to provide the wheelchair. And not long after, he returned to the room with a wheelchair.
Upon entering the room, he smiled. "Little Bear, your wheels is here at your service."
A small half smile broke from the younger’s lips, "I think, it's you who wants to go up to the garden."
A half smile, "You found me out."
Jaejoong assisted Dongho off the bed, and helped him sit on the wheelchair. He took the dextrose and hang it on a hook. He stood in front of him, "Ready? Shall we?"
Dongho nodded in response.
"Okay, Off we go." Jaejoong went behind the wheelchair and pushed it. The siblings went out of the room and rode the elevator, and went up to the opened terrace garden. The people who saw them just let them be, and did not bother them.
When they reached the garden, there were not much people at that time. He pushed the wheelchair to a nearby bench, set it beside the bench and sat down right next to him.
"The sun is not so hot, and, there is a slight breeze."
Dongho just looked around his surroundings; looked at the view, of the nearby houses, buildings, cars, plants, and trees. He sighed.
"Soon, we'll be out of here."
Silence, no response.
"Come here Pet, sit with me."
He looked at his brother.
"It's okay." Jaejoong stood up, and stretched his hand to him, and Dongho, placed his hand to his, and slowly stood up. Jaejoong helped him get off his wheelchair. He sat down first, and pulled him to his lap, to let him sit down more comfortably, Dongho leaned against him, and had his arm around his shoulder.
"We often, sit like this, even when you were younger. You'd sit on our laps, Omma, Aboji, and me."
He leaned his head closer to his head, placed his chin on his shoulder, and placed his other arm slowly around his back, being careful of the dextrose. Jaejoong lightly placed his arms around him, too.
"Little Bear, what is wrong? Why won't you eat? Omma and Aboji are worried about you, it is not like you, not to eat."
Silence.
"Talk to me, you can tell me anything. And, I'll listen."
Silence.
"It will be between the two of us, promise, I won't tell anybody."
Silence. He gave this silent sigh.
He lightly massaged his back, "My Pet, if you like, I'll cook for you, just like before, remember, if, you wanted me to cook, I'd cook for you? Not just Omma, but me too, I'll cook for you. What would you like to have? hmmm Fried eggs? Kimchi rice? Sweet spicy rice cake? What? Tell me?"
"Hyung," he whispered, and raised his head higher, his lips close to his ear, his cheek touched his cheek.
"What?"
"I . . can't eat."
"Why? Why can't you eat?"
"Because . . it's . . food."
"What do you mean?"
"hmmm . . It's food . . when I look, I think it's bad for me. I could hardly even look, and not feel like vomiting. I can't even put it to my lips, and not feel like vomiting."
"Even if Omma cooked it?"
"It's food."
"You know, that Omma or I will not give you anything, that will be bad for you. She and I have been cooking your food for all these years."
"hmmm"
"But . . what then?"
"I know, but . . I . . just can't."
What if, I cook for you, and taste everything you eat? I'll even chew it for you, if you want."
"What?" Dongho withdrew his face a little apart and looked at his brother, "Isn't that gross? Yaak!" he frowned, and made faces as if disgusted.
"Omma and Appa Birds do that for their chicks, from their beak, the chicks get their food. I'd do it, if, it is going to make you eat."
"But, you are not my Appa, you are my Hyung," eyebrows drawn in a frown.
"So, I'd be your Appa Hyung."
"hmmm"
"Ye, I'd be your Appa Hyung, why did I not think of that before?"
He moved his cheek back to his cheek, then nuzzled his lips to his cheek. Then just rested his head against his head, and closed his eyes. "hmmm Ap . . pa . . Hyu . . ng, Appa Hyung, Appa Hyung, why does it sounds good?"
"Because, it is meant to be."
"Ye, maybe that is it, it sounds correct, for some matter."
"But, will you eat, if I cooked for you?"
He withdrew his head away again and looked at him questioningly, "You won't chew it, right?"
"Maybe," being the playful big brother.
"Yaak, it's gross! I don't think I'd eat it!" he looked grossed out.
"But, you can picture me doing it, right?" Jaejoong teased, a mischievous look on his face.
"Stop it! Your disgusting!" with a disgusted look on his face.
"hahahahaha" Jaejoong can't help but laugh at the look on his brother’s face.
"Now, when Omma, comes back with food, you will have to eat some, I will taste it first then feed you."
"hmmm I don't know," He answered, a serious look on his face, clearly contemplating the idea.
"You have to try," he was giving the convincing voice and look to his younger brother.
"hmmm Very, very, very small portion only," looked uncertain.
"Of course."
They stayed there for a while, talking about nothing in particular, passing the time. Occasionally they would be sharing a companionable silence. After sometime, they went back down to their room.
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