The feeling of dread settles in Kyungsoo’s stomach in an unusual way. Though there’s a grumble vibrating inside, he’s not at all worried. At the moment, his mind is all too occupied with his voice threatening to waver as each note is hit with uncertainty. 

When the song ends, Baekhyun promptly slaps him on the back as encouragement. Kyungsoo knows the singer was disappointed in today’s session, yet the smile gracing his face says otherwise.

“Let’s wrap it up for today. We need all the rest we can get.” Baekhyun assures slipping on his black coat. He readies himself towards the door, expecting Kyungsoo to follow suite. 

“Baekhyun,”

The soft breath of his name halts the escaping boy.

“I want to stay a little longer.” Kyungsoo seethes his teeth in embarrassment. Even if his voice was on the edge or breaking, he didn’t want to disappoint Baekhyun. Especially with his determination to win the competition. 

The mere thought of failing his band-mate doesn’t sit well in his mind. If he could be good at anything, Kyungsoo wishes to make the main vocal rejoice in happiness.  

A sense of guilt roots between his mind and voice. Really, he had practiced for his part, particular the high note. But even after three weeks the note was too hard for Kyungsoo to handle. Baekhyun was let down and Kyungsoo couldn’t do anything about it. 

Kyungsoo was determined to not disappoint Baekhyun.

After he leaves, Kyungsoo replays the song and hums along to Baekhyun’s lines. When his parts begin, the voice emitting out of his mouth sings with passion and confidence. As each line escapes his lips, the nervousness disappears until only a sensation of satisfaction remains. That is until his high note falls apart, once again.

The urge to punch himself into a beating pulp has Kyungsoo clinching his fists in irritation.

Not giving up easily, the song repeats itself over again. Each time the high note passes, a sense of sorrow washes over Kyungsoo. The confidence he has now depletes into a big pile of self-esteem as an hour pass.

His voice begins to shake and throat dries from lack of hydration beforehand. The trembling voice wavers with anxiety. Frustrated and sad, his mind makes up the decision to end it with a finale and calls it quite. Then, a knock at the door resonates through the studio, also startling his anxious form.

Jiyong’s figure strides in with a small smile. Kyungsoo shivers from the sudden appearance. Just when he thought the man was going to leave him be, Jiyong appears and Kyungsoo is sure it was no coincidence.

“You sound beautiful.” Jiyong handsomely smirks, tracing sly fingers down Kyungsoo’s arm.

The sudden attention makes Kyungsoo shiver, eyes never leaving the daring fingers the dancer sports on him. 

“Your voice is so captivating I couldn’t help but to listen in on. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” Jiyong frowns when Kyungsoo seemingly looks uninterested in his comments. 

“I think I’m going to make my way out now.” The timid voice states as he grabs for his coat, only to be held be back. 

A feeling comes back in a rush that has Kyungsoo’s mind dizzying with fear. Was Jiyong going to attempt another assault? Blood boils down and the warning signals in his head tells him to run before the mysterious man can do anything, especially now that they are in a private room and Kyungsoo is sure there won’t be a savior this time around.

On the brink of breaking free, Jiyong lets the younger go upon notice of his shivering form. 

“Relax, Kyungsoo. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to give you advice.”

“As if you know anything.” Not realizing he spoke his thoughts, Kyungsoo blushes and steps further away. 

Jiyong only chuckles at the cute action.

“I think I know a thing or two.” Jiyong holds his index finger up. “First off, you’re not confident. And your voice knows it. Your voice is like it’s very own being. It knows you’re scared, so it can’t help but be the same.” 

Jiyong taps the tip of Kyungsoo’s nose, who flinches in return.

“Second, if you treat your voice well, your voice will treat you well. It seems to me you haven’t been drinking water, judging by the lack of smoothness, you’re hoarse.”

Kyungsoo has an explanation for that, but he’d rather not tell the truthful reasoning. 

An odd feeling resides and the brought up of another sensation emerges. Kyungsoo couldn’t explain it, but Jiyong’s helpful tips might have something to do with it. The genuine smile plastering on Jiyong’s face also becomes an aspect Kyungsoo likes. In a way, Kyungsoo was slowly forgiving the male, even though he hasn’t done very much. Leaving him be for two weeks might also add to the fondness of it all. 

“Now let’s start over after you hydrate some, yeah? I’ll give you more tips to help reach that high note of yours.” 

“Jiyong-ssi, I don’t think-”

“Relax,” Jiyong laughs wondrously and places a warm hand on his tensing shoulders. “I promise you’ll do better by the end of this session.”

Kyungsoo looks hesitant for a moment. Then the thought of Baekhyun’s disappointment has him spiraling in a hurtful feeling. Before Kyungsoo knew it, he was nodding towards the elder who soon rubs circles on his cheek. 

Jiyong claims it to be a strengthening exercise to help relax his jaw so his voice can become stronger and smoother. Kyungsoo lets his guard down and believes him for once. 

Later on, the two males stumble out of the elevator in a laughing fit, some joke Jiyong had said, until a certain subject makes the deficiency in their relationship suddenly shining. 

“Are you free tomorrow night?” 

They stop near the lobby, where only the front desk worker was present. 

Kyungsoo is shaking his head, certainly not going anywhere with this man. Even though they just spent the last hour helping each other out, their relationship still isn’t in the high clouds Jiyong seems to be mistaking for.

“I don’t know. I still have to practice with Baekhyun.” He croaks.

Jiyong chuckles. “Giving me at least thirty minutes would be fine. I would like to take you out for dinner as an apology from our first encounter.” He announces.

Kyungsoo’s defense was on point until their presences in the room wasn’t alone anymore. 

Jongin, Chen, Xiumin, and Kris comes out of the elevator. Jongin, with his usual scowl, looks upon the two chatting males only a few feet away from them, their conversation not in secrecy anymore. The glare Jongin shoots at him makes Kyungsoo have the urge to make him angry.

“I guess tomorrow night would be fine.” Kyungsoo says, not even paying attention to Jiyong. 

Jongin perks at the confirmation of what seemed to be a date. 

“Great! Why don’t I pick you up at seven?”

Kyungsoo quickly nods, eyes trained on Jongin who becomes frozen at the latest information. Also unintentionally targeting at his anger, he can see Xiumin seething in displeasure. All the while, Chen and Kris acknowledge them with a bow to Jiyong and comfortable greetings to Kyungsoo, oblivious to the displeased males twitching behind them.

“How were you going to get home?” Xiumin gestures towards Kyungsoo.

“Uh-- I hadn’t really thought about-”

“I’m taking him.”

Jiyong intersects. Kyungsoo can see Jongin tensing in his shoulder, obviously annoyed with Jiyong’s statement. 

“That won’t be necessary anymore. But thank you for doing so in the first place.” Xiumin kindly nods before grabbing for Kyungsoo’s hands, who he finds too demanding. 

“Uhm, well, ok, bye Kyungsoo! See you tomorrow.” Jiyong exasperatedly says as Kyungsoo gives him a short smile. Xiumin, all too harshly, glares between the two and stomps off, Kris and Chen right on his tail. 

Jongin stands for a moment, eyes never leaving the singer. There eyes meet momentarily and Kyungsoo swore he saw a spark in them. Then, all too soon, it disappears and he’s met with darkness.

With a scoff, he finally makes his leave. 

Kyungsoo follows shortly, unknowing of the amount of anger actually increasing from Jongin.

After arriving back at the dorm, all idols went there separate ways. 

Kyungsoo noticed how Jongin walks with a sulking manner to Sehun, who jumps like a kid at the sudden appearance from his best friend.

“So did they tell you your stage name?”

Kyungsoo perks up at the question but decides it’s best for him to not interfere. Kris, Chen, and Xiumin, already had there stage names. So Kyungsoo questioned why the three went to meet up with SM in the first place.

Figuring it wasn’t his business, he forces himself a quick shower, since it was already dark, and solemnly drags into dinner afterwards. All members, say for Luhan, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol, were seated around the kitchen. 

“Kyungsoo! Do you want to eat with me outside?” The familiar voice hypes as he turns him around, coming face-to-face with the band’s visual, aside from Jongin. 

Luhan already had a plate full of tonight’s take-out in in his hands. There was even a tiny stain on the left corner of his cheek, but the cute oblivion of it all made him stay silent. 

“I guess that’s fine, Hyung.” Kyungsoo happily replies.

Luhan smiles and tells him to hurry before sauntering his way through the glass door, which is usually covered with blinds, and waves for him to hurry.

Not as hyped as Luhan, Kyungsoo quietly claims his food, also noticing Xiumin’s eagle-like eyes, and retreats back to Luhan before the oldest could plop more the gross-looking food on his plate.

He settles on a comfy lounge across from Luhan, who gobbles his own food as if there was no tomorrow. Before he knows it, Luhan’s already deep in talk.

“Look! Isn’t it pretty?” Luhan refers to the sky twinkling with stars. He praises harshly while chomping down his food. “Look at all those constellations!” 

“They’re beautiful.” Kyungsoo admits and Luhan nods furiously in agreement. 

He starts blabbering on and on about astronomy and the importance of it all. As he talks, Kyungsoo finds himself staring at the beauty before him. 

He isn’t romantically attracted to Luhan, but anyone would be blind to not notice Luhan’s physical attractiveness. Not only is he gifted with beauty, but his charisma is so likable he’s sure even a lion could fall for him.

Kyungsoo envies Luhan, the Luhan who has a wide imagination full of curiosities. He’s like an innocent child to the world. The happiness he emits is powerful enough to reach anyone within miles away. Luhan simply enjoys life, always smiling at the smallest accomplishments. 

Sehun was lucky. 

“Oh! I’m talking too much again, aren’t I?” Luhan says before settling on the lounge. “Sorry,” he chuckles cutely before swaying his dangling legs back and forth.

“You’re so quiet, Soo.”

“I’m always quiet.” He speaks softly.

“You kind of seem different today though.”

Kyungsoo rubs at his eyes, as if ridding the difference Luhan was talking about.

“I’m fine. Everything’s the same.”

Luhan hums in response. 

“You know, you should smile more.”

To lighten the suddenly sullen atmosphere, Kyungsoo smiles widely. “Aren’t I?”

Luhan disregards this act and pulls the sides of Kyungsoo’s lips upwards with his fingers.

“I mean a real one. I don’t think I’ve seen one come out of you in a while. It makes me sad to see you like this.”

The concern in his voice is there and Kyungsoo is thankful for Luhan’s worry, but he’d rather not deepen the thought into Luhan’s mind.

“Don’t worry about me, ok? Let’s talk about you instead. Now that’s quite a concern.”

Luhan swirls his face in a way Kyungsoo could only describe as the fond visual of the group. His face scrunches extremely well and all the while he manages a cute pout. Kyungsoo laughs at the awkward expression.

“How am I a concern?!” Luhan practically screeches, clenching his heart as if hurt from Kyungsoo’s comment. 

“Because we all know there’s something going on between you and Sehun, yet there’s no action taking place.” 

“W-wh-what!” Luhan splutters and attempts to cover Kyungsoo’s mouth, fearing of the others hearing despite the door in between them.

“C’mon, Luhan,” Kyungsoo grimaces playfully, “you guys clearly have a thing for each other. It‘s quite obvious. You‘re like a firework waiting for a spark and he‘s clearly that.”

“No we don’t! Sehun is just really nice. He’s really funny. He’s also fun to hang with, considering him being the only one to take me for some bubble tea. He also never forgets to compliment a person-”

Kyungsoo sighs in relief now that Luhan becomes distracted from the interesting topic. Luhan proceeds to list all the nice qualities Sehun has, never forgetting the details Kyungsoo definitely didn’t want to hear. As minutes pass, he found himself bored with Luhan’s rambling.

Seeing that he was distracted, Kyungsoo sneakily rids his plate’s food by slipping them onto Luhan’s, who continues to eat and talk at the same time. Luhan doesn’t see these actions and eats away all the food until there is nothing left.

After reentering their home, Xiumin’s gaze immediately trails to the empty plate being brought to the sink by Kyungsoo. He feels his deep stare bore into him and the sense of satisfaction sets well. Xiumin smirks proudly at Kyungsoo before leaving him be. 

The same routine happens every night. Kyungsoo takes a shower longer than everyone else. Nobody questions why and don’t really put much thought into it. The only person who knows of his sinful doings is himself, and he plans to keep it that way.

Laying on his bed casually, his throat constricts from the pain of throwing up bile and stomach acid. Even though it wasn’t healthy, he knows it’s the best way to stay as slim as all the others. The thought of his frame becoming better puts a positive image in his mind. 

It’s for the best. The results will come out outstandingly.

~

Jongin’s eyes never leave Kyungsoo as he enters their room. It’s a bit odd, coming from the man who depleted his self-esteem, but Kyungsoo suddenly becomes a constant figure in his mind. 

He isn’t quite sure why the encounter with Jiyong makes him angry, but his stomach becomes a boiling mess and he’s ready to release it.

Release what? Jongin doesn’t know. What would he have done if the others weren’t there? It was a question that he contemplates over again ever since arriving at the dorm.

He knows from his form that Kyungsoo is crying, only slightly today. Like every night, small tears would escape the pale face of Exo’s singer, staining the pillow that could clearly be seen the next morning. Jongin knows this because he’s always awake at these times.

Not knowing why, Jongin feels a pain in his heart as a whimper slips from Kyungsoo. Today is different, Jongin says. There’s an odd atmosphere layering over them and the slightest sounds escaping from Kyungsoo gives him small aches that become indescribable to even himself. 

Stop feeling sorry for him! 

He quickly turns away and looks at the wall, trying to ignore the cries from Kyungsoo. Crying isn’t for men. Only the weak cry, which makes perfect sense because Kyungsoo is weak. 

These thoughts ring through his head but in some way, they drifted back to concern for his roommate. 

The Kyungsoo, who’s going out with Jiyong tomorrow. The confirmation makes him seethe in annoyance. But why is he getting so worked up? The boy’s existence doesn’t deserve to be thought of, at least that’s what Jongin tries to tell himself, yet he finds his mind betraying him seconds later. 

But of all people, why does it have to be Jiyong? Just a few weeks ago the man literally almost him and Kyungsoo suddenly saunters to him for a date.

Even after warning Kyungsoo does he decide to go against him. 

Jongin bites his lips to control the annoyance bubbling inside. 

Just forget it. It won’t be my problem, anyway.

He closes his eyes in attempt to let sleep subdue him, tossing and turning every now and then.

But god, why do I keep thinking about it?