In which Sehun's uncle helped Luhan change his perspective in life

From chapter 12

Dedicate to Sehunnnaaah for request

A.N/ It's a little bit angst, I have to warn you

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Graduation ceremony was always one of the best memories in a person’s life, especially when you were honored to be in top ten with the impressive final grades. It should be a day when you were gathered by your beloved family and friends, even your lover, received flowers and congratulations.  

Luhan had dreamt about it before, the day he was embraced in Sehun’s arms, proudly giving the younger boy a good luck kiss for the rest 2 years he would have to work hard ahead. But life was inequitable. Always.

Luhan went back to Korea a week before the big day took place to pack up his belongings. He had informed Management Board about his absence in the ceremony due to personal issue and his request had been accepted.

There was nothing much left here, just clothes, few pair of shoes and some stuffs in his drawer. He slowly opened the suitcase and started folding his shirts. His flight was in another three hours and something lingering in the air made him not ready to say goodbye yet.

A noise from the door snapped his head back. It was Yixing.

“Ge, I was looking for you. Where did you go the whole day?”

Where did I go?

Luhan’s hand stopped and his eyes went blank. He had spent the last day wandering around the neighborhood, trying to store as much as possible the smell of this season in his lungs because he knew he would miss this place really bad. Then his feet brought him to the hill behind the campus without him knowing. He had been just sitting there under the big tree for like an hour, looking at nothing particularly, letting his mind free, his broken heart dripping with blood little by little.

“I….I just went for a walk.”

He mumbled after a long pause, continued what he was doing.

The younger boy slowly moved to the edge of his bed and sat down. He knew that his roommate was in a bad mood but this was not how he thought the story would end.

“Ge, I…I saw Sehun yesterday. He…he didn’t look good.”

That was the last thing Luhan wished to hear. He felt like his chest got hit by a ton of bricks as the name of his love was mentioned. Sehun had made their breakup a lot easier for his own sake but inside his mind, it was completely a mess. As mess that he had tried to stuff into a box of memories, locked it tight but as much as he wanted to forget, it’s still there, still reminded him of how miserable he had left his boyfriend.

“Yixing, I…” he choked out, words stuck at the back of his throat “If there is a better way to fix this, I will do it. Trust me, I will.”

“But ge….”

“Please, Yixing” Luhan stood up and walked fast toward his desk so that the other didn’t see the aching tear dropping down from his face “Do me a favor. Just…just leave me alone. Please.”

He waited until hearing the door closing behind to turn back and leaned against the edge of his desk, sighing heavily.

Be brave Luhan. Be brave!!

The longer he stayed in this room, the more suffocating silence he suffered. His breath hitched and Luhan hurried his hands, practically shoved everything within his reach into the suitcase. He would not use them any soon so why to be tidy.

A small book fell off the desk and his eyes landed on the discolored photo lying on the floor. Luhan bent down to pick it up, shoulder dropped as it took him way back to the day he captured this meaningful moment.

The flight to Korea was awful due to the bad weather but it didn’t stop Luhan slinging the knapsack’s handle on his shoulder and stomped out of the hotel room with a map in his hands, didn’t miss the last yelling be careful outside son and remember to come back before 6 from his dad . It’s not like he’s eager to see the city (well, he was but not that much) or there was any special place he wanted to visit. It’s just staying in the same room with his father more than fifteen minutes was definitely not his prior choice.

Dark cloud flocked to the sky above when Luhan hit the road. He didn’t even look at the piece of paper to see where he would go. He brought it along just in case, though he was aware under any circumstance he would call his dad first. A new camera, a birthday gift from his mother, hanging in front of his chest was full of battery, but he’s not sure he would ever need to use it.

The street was quite crowded, people walking in hurry but some still turned their head around when Luhan passed by. They might wonder what a pretty baby face doll was doing out here alone or why there was something blue lingering in his eyes which strangely made them more charming. He got that a lot, the adoration from people around him and he hated it.

They thought they knew him well, that he had an easy life, that he would have nothing to complaint or worry about. He found it annoyed when they gathered and gossiped about how perfect he was. Because he was not, not even close.

The dramatic family incident happened few years ago had pushed him to a faraway land that nobody could ever reach. He still went to school, made new friends, talked about random stuffs but he didn’t share any story. Luhan kept them and locked them tight in the deepest of his heart.

Seoul was not as hasty as Beijing but the modern lifestyle breathed in every corner of the street. Even though living in a big city with a long history like Beijing, Luhan didn’t have many chances to learn about his city through sightseeing. His parents were too wrapped up in their own business while he was too nice to ask for permission. That’s why when his father told him about this trip, he didn’t wait any second to agree with the most excited smile he could pull out back then.

Luhan had searched a quick reference on the internet and some places seemed fun promising. The first one in the list would be Insa-dong, an established street of tradition and art. Luhan loved everything about art so this would be no doubt the heaven for him. Besides more than anywhere else, Insa-dong was said to be the best place to buy gifts and he knew by heart that his father would definitely not waste his precious time for shopping souvenirs so it was like killing two birds with one stone.

He stopped at a take away shop to buy a cup of grinded oreo with extra whipped cream, it would be a long walk so energy was necessary. Taking a huge gulp of his favorite drink, Luhan sped up his paces as he saw the bus stop signal not far from him.

He chose a spot at the end of the row and started to fish out his small ipod and pressed the play button. A little familiar music might do his mind good when people were talking a foreign language beside his ears. Waking up early this morning really made Luhan feel like a ton of bricks weighing down on his eyelid. Slowly drowning into his own dreamland, he didn’t know time had passed too fast.

The moment he fluttered his eyes open, Luhan became panic.

! How long have I been sleeping?

He checked his phone and it’s already 3 p.m. He quickly got off at the next stop and scanned around. The street name was definitely not the one he had seen on the internet so he’s pretty sure he was lost.

As a fifteen-year-old boy, Luhan had a lot of travelling experience and there was one thing he learnt from that: don’t try wandering to find way back, just hail a cab and give the driver your hotel’s address. However he barely made the next step when a clap of thunder ripped off the sky above his head and it started to rain.

Luhan didn’t have time to think since he was caught in a downpour, had no other choice to use the bus stop as a roof to shelter from the rain. Grasping his knees on the bench, he fished out his phone again and made a call. A long waiting signal told him that his father might be busy with his meeting right now and he unconsciously tightened his embrace, eyes darted to the street in front of him, which was completely blurred by the deluge.

Luhan always felt unsecure when it rained. It reminded him of an unhappy memory, a period of time he was torn among countless unanswered questions. He hated his mother for being weak, hated his father for being heartless and hated himself for being useless. But he couldn’t run away from this misery or faced it so he acted like it’s his fault for everything had happened inside this family. He pushed his parents away and built an inviolable fortress for his wounded soul.

The vibration in the pocket snapped him back to the earth. His lips curved up a small smile when he saw the ID flashing on the screen.

“Hi mom.”

“Hi sweetie. How’s Korea?”

 “Uhm, good. I’m seeing around now.” Luhan half lied. He didn’t want his mother to be worried about this incident.

“Glad that you enjoy yourself. I know your father will be too absorbed in his business.” a hint of discontent in her voice was heard and he couldn’t help but sighing sadly.

“It’s okay mom.” Luhan pursed his lips waveringly “I’m fine.”

In a split of second, he felt like she was about to say something but she stopped in the middle and let it go. They sank into an awkward silence before his mother spoke up again

“Alright. I gotta go. Be careful and try not to get lost okay?”

“Will not mom” he forced a laugh, seeing how he’s off the track on the very first day “You take care too.”

Another ear-splitting thunder made him jump out of his skin and shiver in cold breeze. The rain has abated so he could see the street a little bit clearly. Some people started walking fast across the street but the wind was surely driving them crazy when it played too much with their umbrella.

His eyes lazily casted everything in sight before stopped at a coffee shop near the corner and they soon widened in astonishment. Luhan instinctively held up the camera and pressed the button. With the affection of the rain, the picture came out kind of blurry but it’s enough for him to capture that God blessed moment.

He didn’t know how long that old man had been standing there, holding his coat out to cover for the white puppy. He didn’t know what had happened to both of them but the heavy depression dusting the stranger’s face and the innocent happiness plastering the dog’s completely kicked him in.

Not until the man bent down to pick up the poor creature, warmed it up in his gentle embrace and walked away did Luhan blink to gather himself together. He watched the back of the man disappeared at the corner of the street and it dawned on him.

Everyone had their own misery but the matter was the way they deal with it. You could run away and let it chase after you for the rest of your life or you could accept it or even beat it down.  He realized he had spent too much time on questions with no answer and didn’t see that he was hurting those people he loved with his sorrow.

Everything happened for a reason and if he was the reason kept his family from falling apart then just let it be.

Luhan stared at the old photo in his hand, tears kept trailing down on his face. There was not a single night he slept without pondering whether leaving Sehun was the best choice for both of them. But the situation right now was out of his control and there was no way for him to turn back. He needed to put to right his long-forgotten mistake against the fact that he would cause a worse one, something he might not have another chance to fix any more.

A ringing from the phone yanked him out of his thinking. He quickly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, stuffed the picture into his backpack and slid the screen.

“Hi mom. Uhm, I’m on the way to the airport. I’ll see you soon mom. I love you.”

Luhan pursed his lips and scanned around once more time before dragged the suitcase along with his burdensome footstep out of the room, officially put an end to his love story with Sehun.