Phileo: Of Dinosaurs and Peach Jam
The Folded Wind
Phileo - the Greek term for a friendly, brotherly love; friendship
They ended up going to the same middle school somehow, probably due to his exceptional grades. She didn't mind, it only meant they didn't have to limit their meetings to just once a month anymore.
Kris held her hand tightly as they walked in through the gates together on her first day, patting her shoulder to calm her fears.
"It's okay, the kids here are nice - mostly," he said, 'You'll fit right in anyway." She could only nod, knees knocking against each other.
Seohyun just turned twelve, and it was the first time that her father had made her walk to school without someone to accompany her.
"A butler walking you to school draws too much attention to your status," he had said, "you don't want to make such a reputation for yourself on the first day now do you?"
At that time, Seohyun had readily agreed, happy to get away from her strict butler. But now she was frightened, the school loomed ahead, huge. There weren't any playgrounds, and all the loitering students were at least a head or so taller than her. Kris had been kind enough to offer to walk her back and forth from school when she told him at the park a few months back, but she couldn't cling onto him the whole day. He had his own classes and group of friends to hang out with.
She grabbed onto Kris' arm, unconsciously pinching him, nails digging slightly into his skin.
If Kris felt anything, he didn't say but he did look down at her worriedly. "I'll be here to come get you after school," he smiled reassuringly, "I'll walk you home."
Before she could answer, a group of boys called Kris over, and he bid her a good day before hurrying off.
As he was walking away, he shouted over his shoulder, "I'll be there at lunch!"
Seohyun smiled and proceeded into the school, slightly shuffling her feet on the ground.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm and she turned around - seeing a breathless Kris, his face bright pink.
"I - I just had to - to ask if you h-had all of your stuff?"
"Yessir. I have my notebook, my set of colored pens, and my pencil with a new eraser," she smiled.
"O-okay, good. Have fun - be a good girl," he said and ran to catch up again with his friends.
Come lunch time, Seohyun was the first one to arrive in the cafateria. The place was a huge crowded mess of sweaty, voracious students. She struggled to find a table among the sea of indistinguishable face. Sure enough, Kris appeared just in time to save her from having to eat alone in the crowded cafeteria.
"How have the kids been to you? Want some banana milk?"
Seohyun smiled slightly, pushing the rice around on her tray, "No thanks, I have an apple already, and they've all been nice - just I haven't gotten that close with anyone yet."
"It's okay", said a small, red haired boy who sat down to join them - his tray piled high with junk food, "It took me a while to get used to this place too."
Kris introduced the newcomer as Luhan, a fellow second year student who loved to play soccer. "He's an exchanged student from Beijing," he continued, "But his Korean is excellent."
Luhan smiled, mouth filled with rice, "You never compliment me!"
They continued their lunch happily with Kris' continuous teasing of Luhan, her giggles, and Luhan stuffing his face.
"Where are your other friends," she questioned, "I saw them earlier."
"They're probably goofing off in the gym or doing something stupid," he rolled his eyes.
"Or sleeping on the roof," added Luhan.
Kris continued to help her around the school when it was time for class changes, directing her to the different rooms, helpfully adding that a few of his friends were also in her grade. She quickly got acclimated to the rush of students in the hallways, and fell into a routine of introducing herself over and over again during that day.
"I said my name so many times today that I think my jaw will fall apart," she joked on their way home .
"Well now everyone will know your name."
"I know, I'll be the coolest girl ever. But I'm sleepy, and there is so much homework already. You never told me middle school was so hard," she huffed angrily as Kris laughed good-naturedly.
"You'll be fine, you're a smart kid," he said while patting her head, "Need help with your backpack? You look like a turtle."
Seohyun smiled, "No, it's okay Mr. Giraffe - at least I don't tower over everyone." She stuck out her tongue and ran down the sidewalk, "Catch me if you can giraffe!"
They often studied together at her place because she started struggling with math. He was sort of like a "tutor". He didn't look that bright, but she had to admit that his brain was actually quite large.
"Explains why he's got such a big head," she mumbled grumpily.
"What is the x in this equation?"
"Huh? What? I don't know," Seohyun frowned, frustrated.
Kris patted her arm, "Hey, look - this is hard okay? It's fine to not understand in one try."
"But I never struggle," she said. Seohyun hated this feeling of not being able to grasp the concept - why was it not sinking into her head?
He nodded his head, "I know - you're such a bright little girl. But trust me, there will be more things that you struggle with - it's how you solve these problems that's important."
"So you've struggled with math too?"
"Well, maybe not with math - but I've always been bad at foreign languages. Japanese is such a pain. Too many characters. here, there. It's like extreme multitasking but in writing."
Seohyun laughed, "Even the mighty Mr. Giraffe struggles?"
"I'm not a giraffe! I prefer...brachiosaurus."
"That giant dinosaur that's got a super long neck?"
"Yeah - he's cool."
Seohyun snickered, "Alright, Mr. Brachiosaurus, what do you say I do?"
"Try your best - show 'em whatcha got. Mr. Brachiosaurus knows best," he laughed, smoothing her hair.
When it was time for him to go, she would walk him to the door and run back upstairs, to make sure that he made it out of her sight safely. Her dad often gave him snacks to bring home, which he happily accepted - oftentimes struggling to carry them down the sidewalk alone. She would offer to help, but he would always say the same thing. "I got this."
"Hey, Kris - you want some peach jam?"
"Huh? O-okay, yeah I'll come by later, now bye - let me sleep," he whined - his voice deep and raspy over the phone.
"Did your voice just crack?" She laughed to herself as she settled back into her warm blankets.
Kris groaned, "Yes - I think it's called puberty. Didn't you learn this in health? Now let me sleep."
"I didn't think it was that obvious though. Keep talking! That's so cool. D'aww, my wittle Kwissie is growing up," she snickered.
"Yah - I'm older than you by a year! It cracks every now and then - painfully. You're probably just oblivious to not have noticed by now. Anyway, it's freaking two thirty in the morning - why are you calling me about jam?"
"I'm bored," Seohyun curled her feet under her, "you're graduating soon right Kris?"
"Why do you sound so mopey? I'm just going to the high school down the block, besides - it'll only be a year separation. You sound like my girlfriend," he laughed.
Silence. Seohyun was glad that it was just a call, and that everything in her room was dark. Could someone feel a blush over the phone?
Kris coughed, "Well, I'm going back to bed - "
"Wait! We're still going to the park after school to fly planes right? I want to send my mom some stuff."
"Oh yeah defini-" the sound of banging came from across the line.
"What's that sound?" Seohyun asked, surprised to hear such a racket at this time of day. There was a sound of broken glass, coupled with some slurred cursing.
"Oh it's nothing - night Hyun! Sleep well!" And he hung up before she could ask anymore.
The next morning he came to her house with a bright red mark across his cheek, coupled with a cut.
"What happened?" Seohyun asked when she saw his face, "Looks like a hand print. Where did that cut come from? Did you get into a fist fight with your cat or something?"
"A hand print? That's silly," Kris chuckled, "I fell on my face getting out of bed this morning, and the cut isn't that deep. Just an awkward paper cut - I'll explain on the way to school. Do you have a bandage?"
"Oh seriously, falling on your face? That must be the worst excuse in all of mankind's history - but yeah, I have a bandage. Gimme a sec," she said before going back inside the house to grab some ointment and a clean cotton swab.
"Yeah - probably because someone called me at some ungodly hour yesterday!" he yelled after her.
"I'm sorry! I just felt melancholic for some reason," she said when she got back outside, "Sit here, at least clean it - you don't want it to scar right?"
"Oh my beautiful face! Please save it doctor!" Kris wailed - his face in a failed frown, "How am I going to get girl's now?"
Seohyun laughed, purposely putting on an excessive amount of alcohol to clean to cut. Half the school's girl population may fall at his feet, but she would be darned if that ever got to her. Though recently, every time that her hand brushed his - or even if he glanced her way unexpectedly, her heart would lurch forward, beating at an unhealthy pace. It was just...weird.
'Hey! That stings!" Kris yelped, jumping away from her - snapping her out of her thoughts.
"It just hurts more for narcissistic people," Seohyun teased. " But seriously, how did you get these anyway? Obviously not because you fell on your face - or because of some 'weird paper cut'."
"Ah, it was nothing. Don't worry about it. Look, you're all finished fixing my pretty face - should we go? Don't want to be late."
She was unconvinced but agreed, and they walked side by side to school - watching the pretty trees burst with green leaves and listening to the gentle song of the birds.
Dear Mom,
What does it mean to truly like someone? Is it right to like your brother?
Is that weird? I don't know Mom, I'm so confused.
Watch over me, send me a dream or something Mommy - I miss you.
Sincerely,
Seo Joo Hyun
She hastily folded up the plane when Kris came over, stuffing it under a pile a planes nearby. They probably weren't going to fly anything today, the sun was going to set soon and it wasn't as easy or fun to fly planes in the dark. They decided to just fold planes for next time in case they were too busy during the month.
"What did you write Hyun?"
"Ah - nothing, just a letter to my mom. You?"
"Same," he answered, "Do you...," his voice trailed off.
"Do I what?" Seohyun questioned.
"Do you think they really get these? Our mothers I mean. The paper planes just fall right back to the ground after we throw them."
"I don't know."
"Then why do we do this? Even now when we're both teenagers? Sometimes...it feels like a waste of time..."
Seohyun paused for a moment, "Hm - I guess it's because there's that hope that they might get the message, even if not the actual planes."
"I see, that makes sense," Kris smiled - turning towards her. It wrenched at her heart, making it twist and tumble in her chest - threatening to fall out before him. "I love my mom. I really wish she could have met you."
I'm thankful that she had you.
"Hey, don't we have to go pick up the planes? I don't want to litter in this pretty park," Seohyun said quickly, putting an efficient stop to her wandering thoughts.
"Oh yeah - do you want to read our old messages sometimes? I keep them all in a box under my bed you know?"
"Oh maybe. Though I want to keep my planes today."
They walked home together, Seohyun hugging the paper plane with her question close to her chest. Her secret safely guarded within her thirteen year old heart as the setting sun spilled orange rays onto the sidewalk, their shadows stretching long in front of them. She silently promised to keep the crush hidden, why mess up things that were perfectly fine?
We're only friends anyway right?
[TFW] The last chapter is finally out - phew, that was tough. Thank you for reading! Until next time :D
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