Finale: Until We Meet Again
The Folded Wind
Please listen to this song as you read: Exo's Don't go
If you have time, also go back to read the lyrics later :) It matches quite well.
The memorial service proceeded later that weekend, and the rain poured down heavily - he wanted it to flood. So that he could drown - so that he could die. It would be better to suffocate below an ocean of salt water - lungs flooded, gagging and struggling, and finally letting go to be with Seohyun than living on an Earth that had killed her.
The night before he had contemplated snuffing out the flame of life that flickered weakly within his chest, bathroom water running - gun to his temple - loaded, cocked. All he had to do was pull the trigger - then he would be with her.
But he was killing himself; he would end up in hell - she would be in heaven - they would be apart forever. When this realization arrived, he had set the gun down - sobbing uncontrollably. How he wanted to die - but life was cruel, it wouldn't even give him death as a companion. The guilt was slowly crushing him, squeezing his insides as he attempted to look at their old photos. She died because of me. His tears wet his cheeks, his shirt, and then her photos - landing in large droplets upon their album.
At the funeral, he couldn't cry, the scent of lilies choking away his tears - mingling with the smell of new earth. She had hated lilies.
He kept every single one of her paper airplanes, reading and rereading each message - clinging onto every word. Maybe if he memorized every single sentence, she would come back to him. Maybe if he folded another thousand origami stars than she would come back.
Maybe he could trade his life with hers - she could come back.
He was so afraid that she would fade away from his memory, so he continued to write message after message onto plane after plane - not eating or sleeping, immortalizing every second of their time together. Simple things like "your hair is so pretty" or "dumplings taste the best when I eat them with you". He filled up pages after pages with those types of messages, hugging her thoughts close to his chest as he fell asleep at night - as if cradling her images would bring her back.
"Isn't love like a cloud?" She had asked him one day - their hands clasped together as they lay side by side.
"What do you mean?"
"It's more beautiful if it is floating freely - doing as it wishes. You can't control it or else it'll fade away."
Her dad saw him wasting away - cheeks hollowing, skin paling, hair growing coarse. Kris was plagued with nightmares, her last words, her last moments - her smiles, her giggles. Every single night, she came to him but before he could hold her - she vanished, like the crisp winter air.
He would chase her, run breathlessly after her - through anything. Sometimes he followed her through an endless field, other times through a dense forest. He would trip and stumble, scratching his hands and knees before finally being able to reach her. But every time, he would attempt to embrace her, and she would gasp - falling forward in a bloody mess, a gaping hole blooming in the middle of her chest.
Kris had almost flunked out of college, but the professors gave him a grace period - understanding his loss.
"You can retake your exam another day Mr.Wu. But you have to at least make a seventy - or else I will have to fail you," the professor warned, her words tough but her voice soft.
That night, Kris fell asleep just like every night before - eyes almost swollen shut, red from weeping. Tear stains on his pillow - arms weak, voice hoarse. He would cling desperately to her memories - reliving all of their sweet times together. Their first date, their first kiss - their first meeting. The way she giggled at his stupid jokes, how she screamed bloody murder when he tickled her, the tea that she made - the long hours studying together in high school. He didn't want to let her fade.
When he opened his eyes, his surroundings were completely shrouded in white - the trees were white, completed with sparse silver leaves. A gentle zephyr blew through the area, carrying with it the soothing scent of chrysanthemum and chamomile. His turbulent heart ceased to scream out, strangely feeling at peace in this foreign place. The pavement was of a pearly white marble - bordered with elegant street lamps that each seemed to emanate a warm, inviting glow. The whole place was so bright that it took him a few moments to completely register the figure in the distance.
When he could make out the shape , he realized that there - sitting in the middle of the road, playing happily by herself - was his Seohyun.
Kris furiously rubbed his eyes, thinking it was just a trick of the light - but she didn't disappear, even waving excitedly to him. He hurriedly went to stand before her, hugging her - she was solid.
"Seohyun," he whispered - expecting her to disappear like in all his other dreams, not daring for this to be real. But she remained.
"Hm? What's up?" Her smile was blinding, hair done into two pony tails - cheeks bright and eyes sparkling. Just like the Seohyun he remembered.
"I - I'm just surprised to see you."
"Ah," she pouted cutely, and he resisted the urge to pinch her cheeks - in case she would shimmer and fade. "Well - I brought you here for a reason."
Kris raised his eyebrows, "You - brought me here? To this place?" He gazed around again, admiring their surroundings - it was truly beautiful. Surreal. Of course this couldn't be real life.
Seohyun smiled sweetly, "Yes. I miss you." She pulled him down to sit on the ground opposite of her. "But - I'm bored here."
Kris cocked his head in confusion, "You're bored?"
Seohyun nodded quickly, like a kid. "See? Nothing changes here - I've been sitting in this spot for months now." She then pointed directly at her chest - and for the first time, he noticed a small bullet shaped hole, clear through to the other side.
"Wh-what is that?" But he knew - it was all his fault, everything was because of him, because he was weak. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, the tears already coming.
"A piece of me," she continued stubbornly - momentarily ignoring his crestfallen expression and pointing at her own chest, "is still with you." She then poked his chest. "I can't move on, Kris-ah - I'm stuck here. Until you let me go."
Kris stammered, lying, "I - have - I've - I've let go!"
Seohyun shook her head gently, "No, no you haven't. Stop crying for me - your pain, it lingers with me - and I can't bear to go."
"But I miss you!"
"Kris - who said you couldn't miss me? If you let me go, you won't forget right?"
"..."
"You just - just have to accept that - I can't come back..."
"Take me with you then Hyun - please, please don't leave me again," he begged pitifully. Please.
Seohyun got up from her spot, kneeling down to hug him just like when they were little - caressing his hair. Back then she comforted him for his mother - now she was comforting him for his lover - her.
He sobbed softly into her embrace, his cries muffled against her clothing, his arms clinging onto her. He knew it would be the last time that she would ever hold him like that, that he would smell her fresh shampoo and feel the warm cotton of her soft sweater against his cheek.
So he pressed his head to her chest, letting the tears fall - listening to the gentle murmur of her heartbeat, and the sharp snapping of his own heart. Clean and crisp - like a flower's stem.
"Be strong Kris," she whispered - voice fading as the wind picked up, "I will only ever love you." She pulled back, shimmering slowly like every other dream of his, and he attempted to reach out. "Love again, Kris - you've given me all your love; it's unfair to not let you go." She smiled weakly, sticking out her pinky finger. "How about we make one last promise?"
Kris could only numbly nod, taking in her quivering voice. "Okay."
"I won't be jealous, if you let me go," she whispered - offering him her trembling finger. Kris glanced up at her - seeing the effort that she was making, before hooking his finger with hers. Though he vowed that she would be his only love. Maybe if he promised, she would stay a bit longer with him.
She continued softly, "Your love has given me something more precious than life - share it with another girl okay? I'm not the only girl out there who needs a little courage."
Then she began to vanish, tears streaking down her face, washing into a beautiful smile - the smile of an angel.
He woke, jolting out of bed - sweating and sobbing, his chest heavy and constricted - making it increasingly difficult to breathe. It was a pain knocking against his ; a constant hammering that was about to smash completely through him. The moon shone bright outside through his slightly open window, the light casting over his empty apartment - her soft sunshine scent filling every corner of his room.
Kris hugged his pillow, curling up on the bed, weeping for his lost love - howling until the sky was coated with a soft pink.
Then he succumbed to an exhausted sleep, and for the first time in months, he wasn't visited by nightmares. He thought he could hear a soft murmur in his sleep, like the gentle wind brushing along his cheeks - catching the bad dreams and locking them away.
That afternoon, he filled his backpack with their memories - their paper planes, and brought it to the hillside of their childhood.
He built a large fire, feeding it at first with small twigs - then increasingly bigger branches. Then he started placing the planes, one by one, into the fire - watching the paper curl and sizzle - crumbling into ashes. The paper danced to the beat of the crickets - singing a farewell.
Eventually, he dumped the entire content of the bag into the fire, watching with satisfaction as the flames and lapped up the messages, creating a smoke that rose up in a great column towards the darkening sky. His heartbeat matched evenly with that of the wind rushing through the grass - flying his letters to her. The wind carried his message more swiftly than his planes ever could.
He pulled out a small slip of paper from his pocket, skimming it over one last time before tossing it into the dimming flames.
To my Seohyunnie,
I'll meet you wherever you are one day okay?
Wait for me, my love.
- Kris
He closed his eyes - smelling the scent of the stars as night approached; the song of the fireflies playing a lullaby as the dying fire crackled its last breath, whispering her message to him one last time.
Be strong.
The last chapter has been revealed! Thank you for reading! :)
It was so hard for me to write Seohyun's death - I wanted to give up multiple times as I was writing and just make this a cliche happy ending. But I couldn't - I had to do this fic justice, and write it as I meant to from the beginning.
I love Seobaby too much T.T
But I managed to finish the story ^^ The next mission will either be a fluff and/or historical fic for Seokris!
Look forward to it! :D Thank you for your support. A big thanks to my sister for being so nice and always giving me her opinion as I edited over and over again.
Until we meet again my lovely readers!
One of my biggest sources of inspiration along with the lovely quote prompt:
07-30-13: I found this song and thought that it epitomized Seohyun and Kris' love in this story.
July - Fly a Letter to the Wind
Isn't the title fitting as well? :)
[TFW] The last chapter is finally out - phew, that was tough. Thank you for reading! Until next time :D
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