Eros: Origami Stars
The Folded Wind
Eros - the Greek term for a romantic, intimate love; passionate and possibly irrational
Seohyun managed to ignore Kris for a period of time, until the small tugging feeling within her heart lessened. Well, lessened enough so she could talk to him nonchalantly. She realized this uncomfortable feeling increased if she spent too much time listening to his laughter, eating lunch with him or simply being next to him. So Seohyun kept these activities to a minimal - always giving him the excuse that she was busy.
She entered high school and immediately joined almost a dozen clubs so that she could distract herself. She threw herself headfirst into her studies, always placing within the top ten of her class. Her weakness in math had long disappeared, she was even able to take a higher level math class than most students her age. So in her second year of high school, she was already taking a third year math class.
Coincidentally, she was placed into the same class as Kris, and he naturally seated himself next to her.
Unknown to him, her heart was starting to churn violently again - he was too present, too close to her. Yet, Seohyun continued to joke and laugh with him comfortably, he was a friend she cherished. Not simply someone she should selfishly hurt to protect her own feelings.
He often passed notes to her in the middle of class, filled with silly jokes that made her want to laugh. She probably looked like a crazy seal, clapping her hands together, mouth wide open but unable to make a sound.
What did the football coach say to the vending machine?
Another one of his lame jokes. Seohyun raised an eyebrow in his direction, glancing at the teacher who was busy writing on the chalkboard - something about the derivative of something.
What? This better be good Kris or you owe me an egg sandwich. She threw the small slip of paper furtively across the aisle at him.
He smiled and quickly wrote down an answer, before tossing it back at her.
Unfortunately for the two of them, the teacher turned around at that moment.
"Wu Yi Fan. Seo Joo Hyun. What do you two think you are doing? If it is love letters you are exchanging in class, then don't mind if I read it aloud," he said sternly before snatching the note from her desk.
"Give me my quarterback - what?" the teacher looked at them confusedly before shaking his head and throwing the slip away into the trash. "Don't let this happen again," he mumbled and turned back to the board.
Kris and Seohyun only snickered, secretly high fiving each other.
"You owe me an egg sandwich," she mouthed.
His hands often brushed hers in class when he asked to borrow a pencil or something. It made her feel all tingly, blushing from her fingertips probably to the roots of her hair.
The year went by like that, and she always scored the lowest in math. Seohyun just couldn't function well being so close to Kris.
"Hey meet me by the school gate okay? Wait for me a bit, I might be late," Kris said hurriedly as she was walking out of class.
"O - okay," Seohyun answered, slightly surprised as he ran down the hall. It was a Friday afternoon, right before the end of term exams. She planned to spend a long weekend date with her textbooks.
Seohyun sat at the schoolyard swing later that day, waiting for him. She had waited for approximately half an hour already - and the school bells had chimed for the end of after school activities. She shuffled her shoes on the sandy ground, swinging slowly back and forth. Staring up at the tree branches, she admired how the light filtered through the green leaves - like a kaleidoscope. The smell of summer was in the air, school was almost out. Her stomach grumbled loudly, protesting against her desire to stay.
Suddenly, someone covered her eyes, making her jump slightly. She grabbed at the hands frantically, relieved to find that they belonged to Kris.
"Hey! Did you think I was one of your creepy admirers or something?" he smirked.
Seohyun laughed, "Maybe. I should call Brachiosaurus oppa to come chase you away." She stood to grab her book bag when he took her hand.
"I like you," he whispered gently, so softly that the wind might have been playing with her mind. Seohyun's eyes grew wide as she looked up at his face, his features dancing with a shy grin and hopeful eyes."These are for you," he said, procuring a bouquet of white carnations, petals ringed with a soft pink - her favorite. "I'll be good to you," he said earnestly.
"Really?" was all Seohyun could muster, fingers shaking slightly as she took the flowers.
"It's been like this for a while now, since you started high school."
"This is - is not some crazy joke right? You won't run away and laugh?" Seohyun stuttered, her heart beating erratically against her sternum. Her crush from years back was being dug back up, the feelings that she had tried so hard to hide away.
"Of course not! What kind of guy do you think I am?"
Tears began to pool in her eyes; her heart doing ballerina leaps within her chest.
"Hey - hey, I'm sorry - don't cry," Kris said hurriedly, hugging her. He smelled like the soccer field and cologne.
"I li-like you too. I've liked you for a long time," she managed to say, mumbling into the cotton of his polo.
Kris' cheeks burst into a wide grin, squeezing her and placing a chaste kiss upon the crown of her head. "Thank you. Thank you my angel."
"Wait," Seohyun said suddenly, pushing away.
Kris backed away, confused.
"Hold my bag," she smiled cheekily, running away to the gate.
Kris could only shake his head in mock disapproval, "Fine."
They were happy, enjoying the other's company, being schoolmates, best friends, lovers.
They shared so much in common. The two of them loved music, and she often played the piano while he silently strummed his guitar, ending up at the same song. They both had a drive to do well in school, often studying together late into the night then falling asleep at her place with their heads on the books. Her dad always placed a blanket over them, and turned off the lights for them. Well, as long as they studied in the living room under his vigilant watch.
They were blissful. He always smiled and held her hand. He would write her sweet letters that were placed discreetly into her locker. She would make him lunch all the time, and wait for him patiently at the school gate with sweet bread for the both of them to share on their walk home.
He would always hug her at the door to her house, bidding her a safe night, and she would wait at her bedroom window until she could not see his back anymore.
Then she noticed that the bruises had not disappeared, as if they had become stained on his arm. They had become considerably fewer, only a few large distinct ones were visible. Seohyun had first noticed when he had invited her out for dinner, and to eat he had slightly rolled up his sleeves. She saw the deep purple marks on his pale skin; a horrid testimony to the things that his father was still doing.
"Why are you letting him do this!" She had shrieked, but he only stubbornly pulled away, going on with dinner as if nothing had happened, chatting about the school festival.
He smiled brightly at her, "You must know what entertainment is going to be there since you're part of the planning committee right?"
Seohyun couldn't smile back. She had thought that his father had stopped his abusive ways a long time ago; she couldn't remember when was the last time she saw the marks. He wore short sleeved shirts at school during gym class all the time; his arms had shown nothing!
Unless these were fresh, there was no way - Seohyun gasped.
"Where are these from?"
"What are you talking about," Kris questioned, eyes wide but obviously feigning ignorance.
"Don't lie to me! You know exactly what I'm talking about."
Kris simply smiled, "It's nothing I can't handle."
"Did you get them...because you were out tonight?"
His eyes darkened momentarily, before becoming smiling crescents again, "No way! My dad has stopped long ago."
Seohyun thought about it for a moment. Kris rarely stayed after school for activities. He always went straight home, always saying he was busy with chores or had homework. He didn't gp out on weekends either, only to work for some extra money. Which he never seemed to have either.
"Here," he placed a jar onto the table and gently pushed it over to her, "for our six month anniversary."
She looked at the glass jar carefully and saw that it was filled with many small origami stars, of all different colors and patterns. It was even an old jam jar, specifically a peach one that she had given to him years ago.
"One thousand stars can grant any wish," he explained, "I spent many nights folding these for you. Even at school!"
Seohyun began to cry. This was their sixth month together; they had spent half a year together - talking everyday, studying, playing, eating. Yet she had failed to notice when the marks appeared on his arm again, failed to see when he had to endure the pain again.
"Why do you let him do this to you?" She was hugging the jar to her chest, snot running down her face, tears cascading down her cheeks. She didn't care how her hair looked, nor about the eyeliner she had used nor about the people that were probably staring at them. "I'm sorry," she managed to mouth between her sobs. Seohyun felt his strong arms wrap around her, voice hushing her.
"I don't want to go to hell," he whispered into her hair.
"You won't! It's not right to let him keep doing this to you," she grabbed onto his shirt, "Stop him!"
"If I try to stop him, I'm afraid I'll end up killing him." His dark eyes stared into hers, fingers rubbing away the droplets on her cheeks. "Let's go, Seohyun."
She nodded her head numbly, keeping the jar close to her heart.
Please let him be safe.
She saw the bruises again when they were at the amusement park for his eighteenth birthday, a few months after their dinner together.
He carefully wore a long sleeved shirt that day, and the chilly fall weather helped him to pull it off. However, when he reached up to shoot in a basketball at one of the booths - she saw them. Red marks along his wrists, like slashes across a new page. She quickly grabbed his wrist, making him lose his hold on the ball and ultimately missing the shot.
"Why did you do that Hyun - I wanted to win you a giant Nemo doll," he whined, obviously disgruntled.
"You're hurting yourself now," she said, looking up at his face.
Kris didn't say anything, just pulling her to an ice cream stand. "Two vanilla cones please, one with chocolate syrup and sprinkles for the lady please."
"Ah - you two are on a date right? Not many young couples come here during the week, this one is free for your pretty girlfriend," said the seller, his gray hair peeking through his colorful cap. "Enjoy!"
Seohyun grumbled, "I don't want any."
Kris smiled, "But it's my birthday. You could at least be polite and eat it for me. I even bought it with my own money!"
"I have to stop him. This mad man."
"You can't, let me handle this myself."
"You can't deal with this yourself! Tell someone! Tell the police, put him behind bars," she screamed, angry at him for being so calm.
"Hey - it doesn't hurt that bad, the cuts and bruises heal. I'm tough."
Seohyun broke into tears, similarly to their anniversary dinner. "No, you're not," she gasped, "You're lost and confused and you think cutting yourself will take away this mental pain. You can't convert mental into physical pain, Kris-ah."
Kris was silent beside her, the sun setting behind him - it's red and orange tail diving into the mountains and slowly dying. "But I have."
"Kris! Don't be crazy, this is only hurting you! Leave him. I know, come to my place - my dad, my dad - he can help you," she pleaded.
"I can take care of myself! I don't want to owe you or your dad or anyone!" His voice lowered to a whisper, "I'm my own man."
He continued, "I don't need anything, just my own two legs and you. One day, I'll pluck myself right out of that house and leave - but for now, I can't."
He paused, turning towards the sky. "You know, maybe shooting stars did that. They got fed up with sitting among a billion other stars, waiting to be put into some constellation - so they plucked themselves out of the sky to fly off, if even only for a moment of recognition by us. I'll marry you one of these days, and we'll get out of here, but until then - we'll both go to college, get good jobs and save up money for our future child."
"Then please stop this, stop hurting yourself," Seohyun tried again, "We can do everything that you want to do - just please, please stop."
He turned towards her, taking his eyes away from the now dark sky. "I'm afraid that if I don't change my anger to pain, I'll go mad. I'll kill him and then I'll go to hell."
Seohyun was quiet.
"I don't want to be separated from you for all eternity," he said. "The whole idea of suffering pain for all eternity is not nearly as terrifying as being away from you." His eyes were earnest, staring into her teary ones.
She could only stare back. Staring down at his scarring wrists one more time, she met his eyes again. Then she hugged him, arms around his neck, tears wetting his hair. I'll protect you.
[TFW] The last chapter is finally out - phew, that was tough. Thank you for reading! Until next time :D
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