Hey we meet again! :D Thank you so much to you all ^^ and as always, please forgive me for many mistakes and errors of writing and grammar and everything ^^ So enjoy... ^^

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I wanted to cry, I bowed my head and squeezed the steering wheel with both hands. Seungri did not say anything, I knew he would have been scared and confused but I thought he would better keep shut his mouth.
I sighed and turned the key. I turned to look at Seungri, he bowed his head and put on the seat belt but suddenly my phone rang.
 

Finally!
 

" Where have you been?! Who's that woman??! “ I attacked Seunghyun with questions.
 

" Calm down ... , she's my friend ... , this is not like what you think .. " he tried to soothe me.
 

" How could I’m not be suspicious?! What are you doing in there?! You should go home soon! We've got a big problem! " I cried.
 

" Can’t you calm down? " His voice sounded annoyed and it made ​​my anger rising.
 

" Go back to Seoul right now or I would go there and yell right in front of you?!!! " I threatened and hung up his call offhandedly. My voice was very loud enough to make Seungri closing his ears with both hands.
 

You can’t fool me Seunghyun!



 

My mind is very chaotic, my brain continues  to think what is really happening to me. I never expected all of this happened to me. First, Seungri came and gave all the anxiety, worries and also disaster not only in my marriage but also on my whole life. Second, Seunghyun has changed and he started doing suspicious things, though I know this might be only my unreasonable prejudice but he really has changed.
 

Is he getting tired of me?
 

He doesn’t love me anymore?
 

I went to home to pick Gaho up then went to my parents' house. After that I left Seungri with them. They got very confused and looked at me questioningly, but this time I do not feel like to sharing my story on them, I do not want them to worry even though I know my attitude is enough to make them worried.
 

I need to be alone ...
 

I sat with Gaho in a park not too far from my parents' house. I sat under a big tree. Since I was a kid this place has always been my favorite even though the park is little changed. Since the first time I knew this place, if I'm feeling sad, angry, and there are things that disturbing my mind I always tell all my frustration to the tree. I call it Mr. Tree. Maybe if someone caught me, they definitely thought I was crazy for talking to the tree but I did not care, Mr. Tree has always made ​​me better and it knows all of my secrets more than my parents, Youngbae or even Seunghyun. Only Gaho who knows I'm always here if I feel sad because I always take him with me. I started taking Gaho with this secret action since he became part of our little family. Gaho would lie on my thigh just listen to my chatter at Mr. Tree. Gaho and Mr. Tree have always been good listeners and never judge me and somehow they always managed to make me feel better. Seunghyun never knew this place and I have a silly reason why I do not want him to know about it, not because I do not believe him but I feel I also need to enjoy the solitude where is nobody trying to judge me.
 

What should I do?
 

" Do you think Seunghyun is cheating on me? " I said staring up in the tree and then I looked at Gaho and he answered me with his bark.
 

" Do you still love me Seunghyun? " I let out my breath. The wind blew my hair softly. Gaho barked again and this time louder. I leaned my head on the trunk and started Gaho’s head gently.
 

I hope so ....




 

Seungri was asleep on the couch when I got back to my parents' house. It is getting dusk, I went to the kitchen and saw my mother who was preparing dinner while my father had not returned from his factory. Omma turned to me and smiled, I responded her. I walked over to the fridge to get a glass of water and drank it then sat in a chair right in front of her.
" Where have you been? " Omma said looking at me for a moment and then continued her work cutting carrots.
 

" Just walked around here " I spend the rest of the water in the glass.
 

" What's going on Jiyong? " Asked her again, this time without looking at me.
 

" Nothing " I said rolling my empty glass. Omma put down her knife and looked at me again, this time it seemed like she was trying to read my mind. I avoided her gaze with bowed my head.
 

" Don’t lie to me ... Jiyong, you can’t fool me. Something is happening right? Seungri is injured, then you're being like this. Did you hit him? " She said. Her question was very surprised me.
 

" Of course not! I couldn’t do it, although I don’t like him... " I put the glass back on the table. Omma sighed.
 

" So what really happened? " Omma turned off the stove and approached me.
 

" It’s a long story. But I didn’t hit him or did something like that, Seungri fell at school ... , an idiot student pushed him " I said. Omma put her right palm on his chest, she looked incredulous.
 

" How can that be? " Omma said sitting next to me, touching my thigh. I shrugged my shoulders.
 

" It's hard ... very hard Omma... " I said quietly. I folded my arms on the table, staring at the glass in front of me.
 

" Being parent is never easy Jiyong ... , be patient ... " Omma smiled.
 

" I don;t know ... " I said, putting my chin on top of my arms. Omma smiled again and my hair gently.
 

" We’ll wait your appa and then we can have a dinner together " she rose up from the chair, I took her hand and she frowned.
 

" Omma .... , have you ... , Do you and Appa feel ashamed?  Have a gay son like me? “ I squeezed my mother 's fingers.
 

" Oh my baby ... , of course not .... " Omma immediately hugged me tightly. And I held her back. Her hugs always make me comfortable and safe. I wanted to cry but I'm trying my best to hold it because I know if I cried out she would feel sad and I do not want it.
 

But not with Seungri Omma... , I made ​​him ashamed... , because I’m gay!
Maybe Seunghyun too...
 

"You still love me don’t you? " Asked me still in her arms. Omma kissed my head. She sat back in front of me. We were holding hands.
 

" Gay or not, we will always love you, you're my son and your Appa. We all love you so much, even though you're not able to do anything we would still love you, no matter what. We not only love you but we are also proud of you! " she said. Her eyes filled with tear. And it made my heart narrow.
 

I know my parents have always supported me. The first time they knew about Seunghyun and they realized that I was gay of course they were shocked but they kept staying with me and supported me. My parents and my sisters never insulted or humiliated me, they have always been on the forefront if someone is trying to embarrass or hurt me. They always believed in me, especially my father, he is always sure I could always be responsible with all decisions that I made. Although the homouality is not something new at this time, but there is still some kind of people who can not accept even worse insulting and imprecating. I’m so lucky I have family who is always treating me very kind.
 

" I know ... , but ... , does Seunghyun love me? “ I bowed my head. Omma hugged me again.
 

" He loves you Jiyong... , believe me.... I'm very sure  ... " Omma my back.
 

I love him too Omma ...
I really love you ... Seunghyun , don’t leave me ...




 

I still have not been able to speak naturally to Seungri, my lips felt numb somehow saying the words for him. Maybe my heart is still broken from all of his words or maybe I do not know where to release my anger on anyone else but him, my anger towards his father. And I think Seungri is aware of this when I’m very angry at him and I could see from his gestures are highly visible scared, much more scared than ever and whenever he will try to avoid me. My parents were quite disappointed with my attitude but I can not blame them because I’m also aware what I'm doing is wrong and silly but selfishness is sufficient to rule my heart and I do not care if they think I'm stupid or childish, at least this time I do not want to talk to that little monster who makes my life like a shabby piece of paper.
 

God.., what are You trying to do with my life? Why should be Seungri? Why him?
 

My mother asked me and Seungri to stay and she also asked me to rest at home, I knew from the look on her face she was very worried and to please her I did her will.
After breakfast, my mother took Seungri to the doctor to check his leg and my father drove them before going to the factory. Actually, I asked Omma to do that, I'm not sure of the school clinical examination. I know if I asked it to him, he will refuse and that's why I asked Omma to do it. There is a little concern in my heart with Seungri’s condition, somehow I can feel it, I don’t know why but I don’t want anything bad happen to him.
 

Yeah ... , I’m worrying you kid ...
 

 Seungri really can not be away from my beloved pet. He is already very close to Gaho as if Gaho is his loyal guard. They are playing in the backyard of my parent house, Seungri laughter sounded to my room which is located on the 2nd floor. I put my pen on the desk right beside my laptop, I tried to take busy with my job even though I'm not in the office today. I got up from the chair and stepped to the window right in front of me, I opened the window wider and looked down. I can see clearly Seungri is running around there, he is playing frisbee with Gaho, and his steps are still limping, it seems he doesn’t feel hurt at all. The doctor said he did not have a serious injury and can get better soon, I'm really relieved to hear that.
 

Seungri Gaho lovingly and then he seemed like to say something to Gaho, whatever that I could not hear his words at all. Shortly thereafter, Gaho answered with his wuf-wuf and Seungri hugged him tightly. They really are very close, I could see Gaho is very fond of him.

Can’t you do the same thing to me Seungri?
 

My phone voice obscured my muse, I left Seungri and Gaho with their game and I walked to the bed where I put my phone on. There was an incoming message from Seunghyun.
 

I will arrive in Seoul tonight.
 

Good ... , it’s that you're supposed to do, go home as soon as possible!
 

I put my phone on my bed again and lay right beside it. I closed my eyes. I could hear the sound of laughter again, this time the sound of my mother and her friends are playing cards at the dinning room, they are gossiping together and so noisy like at the fish market.
 

I took a breath and then I got up and sat on the edge of the bed, I squirmed a little while to loosen up my muscles were tense but my phone rang again. There was a message appeared on the screen and it was from my husband again.
 

You're still mad at me? You didn’t reply my messages or answer my calls. I hope there is still a smile for me, because I have a gift for you :)
 

I snickered reading his typing, I thought somehow in the collated sentence in that message was ridiculous and I knew he was just trying to seduce me. And I still did not reply his text, not even one word and then I left my phone just like that. I stepped to the table and continued my work.
 

I don’t know Seunghyun ... , this all is getting worse ...




 

I went home with Seungri. My parents had told me before I left their house, they asked me to solve all problems with calmly but I'm not sure what if I'm quite capable of doing it.
 

Seunghyun is at home right, he looks very tired but he is trying to decorate his face with a smile. I think he is trying to remain calm even though I still could not hide my disappointment to him.
 

Seungri are falling asleep in his room while Seunghyun is in the shower. I unpacked his suitcase and tidied up some of his stuffs. I grabbed a small bag which he used to store his personal belongings. All seemed normal like how it should be, until there are 2 things that should not be stored in there. Two things that never even Seunghyun save even during our marriage I have never seen this happen. There is Meeyon’s picture and his wedding ring.
 

He keeps this?Why? Meeyon’s picture?
Why did he take off his wedding ring? Our wedding rings?
 

My heart is pounding, my blood is boiling. My chest feels so tight and my mind is running everywhere, I could barely think.
 

Never once since our wedding Seunghyun took off his ring, it is always on his ring finger. And what makes me more sad and hurt is Seunghyun keeps Seungri’s mother picture. I never even knew he has it and keeps it. And he did not tell me.
 

Why? For what? Since when?
 

My mind attacked me with so many questions that I did not know the answer. It is surprising to me and not only that, it really makes me sad, hurt and angry. My disappointment is not over because of his behavior before and now he adds it with this. It is like he sprinkling salt on my wound and it is very pain