Hey, this is the last chapter, I hope this ending wont make you disappointed and I’m sorry if this is long enough, I hope you don’t get bored for it. I love this story so much and it was so hard and sad to write this ending, this is my favorite ^^ I love Seungri so much in this fic and I think I’m gonna miss him TT__TT

Please forgive me for many mistakes ^^

Thank you so much to you guys! Thanks for your supports and everything. Enjoy!
Special thanks to Debby, my fake girlfriend, I love you chu~~

=================================================================================================

How surprised I was when Seunghyun said that Seungri had disappeared on the phone. He was very frantic and his feeling transmitted to me, I was also confused where I should look for Seungri.
Seunghyun decided to go to Busan seeking for Seungri, although highly impossible for a child like him could go there by himself and moreover without money. But anything could happen since Seungri is a smart kid, maybe he could do that.
 

Where are you Seungri?
 

I called Youngbae for helping to accompany me to the police but he said it would end useless because Seungri disappeared for just four hours ago, they wouldn’t serve us. I was a little annoyed with it but its their rules.
Seunghyun had already looked him at the school and asked his friends but none of them were aware of the existence Seungri. I also had asked my parents and my sisters but the results remained the same. Even Seunghyun had tried exploring all potential places that Seungri could be there but we still couldn’t find him.
 

What’s wrong with you Seungri ...
 

Seunghyun told me on the phone that Seungri got angry with him because Seunghyun broke his promise to leave today, they planed to spend the time for swimming and playing soccer together but Seunghyun canceled it because he had work to do.
 

That kid is always acting up!
 

Seunghyun asked me to check him at Chansung’s house, his classmate. After got his address I rushed my steps towards the car but something hold me, my phone rang.
 

Omma?
 

" Yes Omma " I answered her phone as I opened the door of my car.
 

" Meet me at the park near my house, now! " Omma said.
 

"What is it? I have to go to Chansung’s house " I said getting in the car.
 

" Seungri is here " answered her.
 

What?!
 

---------------

I didn’t know, how did that brat got there, whereas before Seunghyun went to my parents for first time then he realized Seungri disappeared cause he was not there. My mother didn’t explain in detail what actually happened but she just told me to come right away and asked me to don’t tell Seunghyun that Seungri was with her.
 

This is weird ...
 

My mother stood, waiting for me out of the car and I approached her immediately. I turned to the right and to the left trying to find Seungri.
The park fairly crowded. Many kids were playing and running around, there were some adults who talking or just enjoying the sunset.
" He’s there " Omma said pointing toward Seungri who was running around with Gaho, he looked very happy as if he didn’t care that we were very worried about him.
 

" How can he get here? ' I frowned. Omma sighed.
 

" He hid in the backyard waiting for me and your Appa went home. He asked us to take him to Busan " Omma bit her lip. I could see her face was covering by concerns.
 

" Seunghyun is half dead looking for him, you’re hiding him in here?! You’re crazy Omma " I said rubbing my face. I didn’t know what was really happened between Seunghyun and his favorite son, all was very confusing me and plus her behavior seemed like very defending that kid.
 

It makes my head hurt!
 

" I know. I'm just worried about him Jiyong. I've tried to persuade him but he still didn’t say what happened " Omma grabbed my arm. I let out a long breath.
 

" I'm going to try to talk to him " I embraced her and kissed her forehead.

Talk to him? I doubt it ...., Seungri and I never knew what is ‘talking’ ...
 

" He’s like you isn’t it? " Omma looked at me.
 

" Me? What do you mean? " I frowned.
 

" This park ... , your hiding place. I still don’t believe Seungri likes this park " Omma chuckled as she looked at Seungri who was still having fun and playing with Gaho.
 

Really? Seungri ...
 

" How do you know, I .... " I bit my lip. Omma smiled.
 

" I'm your Omma Jiyong…, of course I know .... " she touched my cheek softly.


I asked Omma to leave us, she needed a rest. I didn’t want her to keep worrying about Seungri. I promised to talk to that brat even though I didn’t know what should I talk about to him. And I doubted he would listen to me.
 

This is hard...
 

I stepped toward him. My footsteps were very heavy as if there was something that bound my legs. My heart was racing, it felt much more exciting than your first date.
 

Ji ... Come on, he's just a little boy ...
 

" Seungri! " finally I dared to call his name. He turned and shocked. He didn’t answer me, he just stood there transfixed. Gaho barked twice. I waved my hand to Seungri and asked him to approach me but he still didn’t move, his head bowed. I started to worry that he would acting up again and started provoking my anger but I tried to calm myself. Seungri looked at me for a moment and began to walk toward me, Gaho followed me. I sat under a large tree, Mr. Tree. I rested my back to the trunk while Seungri noticed me and then he started to approach me, I guessed his steps were very heavy too as mine before.
 

Help me Mr. Tree ...
 

He stood in front of me and kept silent, Gaho greeted me and I him, I whispered to Gaho to say how much I missed him.
" Sit down ... , Daddy want to talk " I said looking at him.
 

"I don’t want to go home. I want to go back to Busan " he bowed his head. I thought he was afraid of me.
 

" Sit down first ... " I patted the grass next to me. Seungri sighed but in the end he followed me, he pulled Gaho and him as soon Gaho was lying next to him.
 

It may be true Omma said ...
You look like me Seungri ...
 

" Halmonie lied, she shouldn’t tell you I'm here. She promised me " he pouted.
 

" She's just worried about you. You know what? she really loves you " I said. Somehow I knew, talking with this kid was very difficult especially with a very complex problem like we had. I had to really hold back my emotions, if he got upset and did something bad, my mother would kill me.
 

"I don’t want to go home. Appa doesn’t love me anymore " he turned his face. I couldn’t see the expression of his face but I thought he didn’t want me to know it.
 

" He just couldn’t stay with you today, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore. He loves you very much. I know it ... " I said. I stared straight ahead.
 

He loves you more than me ...
 

" He’s always busy. So much! And he still forced me to go to school. He had changed He doesn’t love me anymore! He hates me ... " he shouted. He looked very upset. To be honest I was getting annoyed with his ridiculous ​​attitude but again I had to hold myself.
 

" Seungri ... , listen to me... " I tried to calm him.
 

" And I'm going back to Busan! I want to see Omma! " He folded his arms and legs simultaneously. He really made me mad but at the same time made me sad.
 

" You're wrong Seungri…, your Appa loves and cares about you ... " I looked at him sharply.
 

Yeah ....like I said, he loves you more than he loves me ...
 

Somehow I felt Seungri tried hard to look at me, maybe he didn’t want to look weak in front of his enemy, me.
" I'm not his son ... , right? " He turned his face again. Instantly I felt something squeezing my heart and made ​​me almost can’t breathe. I shocked by what Seungri said.
 

Oh my God ....
 

" Did Appa tell you that? " I asked stammering. Seungri shook his head and pulled his legs and put his chin on his knees. He looked down at the grass, Gaho barked once as if he understood what was Seungri thinking.
 

" You said it . .... That night, I heard it.... " he said. His voice turned heavy. The guilt was getting over me, I didn’t think that I could bring a big disappointment at the small creature beside me.
 

Look at him Ji ...
Look what you've done to him ...
 

" Seungri .... , look at daddy ... " I didn’t know what to say to him. This should make things easier for me right? It was what I expected. Seungri knew that he is not Seunghyun’s son and I destroyed their relationship and of course Seunghyun and I may be together again. But I couldn’t do it, I felt hurt and sad. I wanted to hug Seungri and said sorry to him in millions times but not a single word could come out of my mouth.
 

I'm sorry Seungri ...
 

" I hate you ... I hate you ..... " he bit his lip and still wont look at me. I let out my breath. I guessed I deserve for those words.
 

" That's not a surprise isn’t it? Honestly I hate you too..., because Seunghyun very loves you... , maybe also because he still loves your Omma.... , and maybe also because you're her son " I chuckled. Somehow I laughed, I thought I laughed at myself.
 

" I hate Omma too.... " he Gaho’s back and hugged him tightly. I wanted to touch Seungri's hair but something held my hand.
 

" Seungri .... , don’t say it " I looked at him, he turned back for a moment and looked down.
 

" She left me. She lied " he said. His voice was getting hoarse and tears was streaming down on his cheek but he immediately removed it.
 

Seungri ....
 

I was looking at the broken small creature in front of me. He was trembling, all of this made ​​me more nervous. I seemed like I felt his sadness even though I didn’t know for sure what he was thinking. I got closer and hugged him, he rebelled but I continued to hugging him.
" Get off of me! " he shouted but I kept rounding my arms over him until he really cried. I hugged him tightly and tears trickled down my cheeks until fell on top of his head. Not only the guilty and sadness came over but concerns also enveloped me. I never thought Seungri hid these feelings and it was getting painful for him when he knew Seunghyun is not his father. I couldn’t understand why Meeyon lied to us by saying that Seungri is Seunghyun’s son.
 

See what you've done to your son, Meeyon...
 

I knew Seunghyun won’t leave him, he probably wouldn’t have the heart to leave him and it made ​​me think maybe this kid should be with Seunghyun. He needed his father.
We were silent for a moment, I just heard Seungri’s sobs and I didn’t care for the sound of laughter and bustle of people passing by in front of us. It seemed there was only us in the park and Mr. Tree as if it waged cool breeze deliberately from the ends of its leaves.
" How about some of ice cream?  It will freeze for your tears " I said smiling. He let go of my arms and looked awkward. Eyes still wet and his cheeks were red as a tomato.
 

" Appa said that too " he wiped his eyes with his arm. He didn’t dare look at me, maybe he was embarrassed.
 

" Yeah…, you're right. He also said that to me . " I said biting my lip. Instantly Seunghyun’s face painted in my mind, his fool face while spending a bucket full of ice cream by himself.
 

I miss you Hyunie...

 

---------------

I said goodbye to my parents. I also sent a message to Seunghyun, I said to him Seungri was with me and I would bring him home. I also asked Seunghyun to come back home soon.
Before dropping Seungri to home, we stopped by the store to buy ice cream as my promise.
Seungri didn’t talk much, maybe he was confused or scared. I knew what has happened was very heavy for him and of course made him sad. And not only Seunghyun who did this to him this but also me, probably my mistake was much ‘greater’ than Seunghyun.
I went back to my house. I knew I just drove Seungri but I wished I could still call it my house, our house.
 

My house and Seunghyun ...
 

I missed this place so much. In the past, Seunghyun built this house for me, we built it together. And many things had happened in this place, joy and sorrow until I left him that night.
Password was still the same, Seungri stepped into the house first. I stood looking around, nothing changed at all, just looked messy. Seungri looked at me and I nodded to him. We stepped into the kitchen, where it was much more messy than living room. I didn’t understand what happened, this kitchen seemed like got hit by tornado. Glasses and plates were lying everywhere and very dirty.
" Appa never clean the house? " I said. Seungri shook his head. He sat in his chair opened the bucket of ice cream, it looked like he was very impatient or hungry. Without me knowing it was already night.
 

" Since you're staying at Helmonie’s house, only the maid who cleaned it at weekends " he took a spoon.
 

What's wrong with you Seunghyun ...
 

I drew my breath. Seunghyun was never like this, at least he's pretty neat and orderly. I put my bag on the chair next to Seungri and began to tidy up. I put glasses, plates and cutleries into the sink and began to wash them all.
" Are you going to tell Appa? " Seungri asked suddenly. I turned off the tap and looked at him, he lowered his head back and kept eating his ice cream.
 

"I can’t lie to him Seungri…, at least I have to tell him you can’t study at that school " I continued my job.
 

"Is he going to be mad at me? " He asked again. I laughed and he scowled.
 

" I promise he won’t be angry. He loves you remember? " I smiled.
 

" But ... , I'm not his son ... " he said softly. His lips were shivering and his face looked wistfully. My heart trembled hearing his words. That fact had become embedded in his memory and probably would keep spinning over and over again. I went to him and stood in front of him.
 

" You're his son. You’re always be " I his head gently. I didn’t know why I was getting like to touch Seungri but it felt very warm every time I touch him.
 

My son...
I hope you’re mine too...
 

" I ... , I did not mean to lie , Appa asked me .... , I ... I ... " he tugged at my sleeve shirt. I let out a long breath. I knew he was trying to explain what he actually said to his father. To be honest I was very disappointed with his words before, but I thought it wasn’t entirely his fault. Seungho did kiss me on cheek and it didnt mean anything and Seungri just say what he saw but Seunghyun overreacted. If only he'd listened to me at that time maybe all of these never happened.
 

I already forgive you Seungri ...
 

" Go to your room and take a bath. I'll tidy up the house for a while, Okay? " I smiled . He nodded slowly. I his head again and he started stepping toward to his room.


Seunghyun texted me, told that he would probably arrive at home soon. I tidied up almost the entire house, I couldn’t understand, why they could live in the dirty house like this. Seungri was falling asleep in his room and Gaho was with him, he looked tired and I let him rest.
I looked around my bedroom. Yeah, Seunghyun and I spent our moment every night in this room, every memories spun back in my head like a movie. I didn’t realize it had been 4 months I never slept in this room, without Seunghyun and without his arms.
Nothing changed in this room, all were still in their places. My eyes were watering and my chest was tighten, I really missed him and I wanted all of it back into mine. But I didn’t know, there was nothing much I can do. Everything was different, my pain was still persisting and kept torturing me. No, Seunghyun had hurt me and I couldn’t forgive him.
 

Its still very painful ....
I'm sorry .... but I cant Seunghyun...
 

I opened my closet, I picked up some shirts for me to take it to my parents’s house. I didn’t have many clothes in there and I didn’t have time to pick it up, after all I didn’t want to meet with Seunghyun because every time we met and spoke only going to end up with fight.
I put my shirt and pants on the bed, I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I just realized how skinny I was, perhaps nothing better than a mummy.
 

What is happening to you Ji ....
 

" Hey ... " the voice of someone surprised me. I turned around, Seunghyun stood at the doorway and he smiled.
 

" Sorry ... , I .... , I just took my stuffs ... I hope ... , you don’t mind .... " I replied awkwardly. I got up and he came over.
 

" Those all are yours ... " he stood in front of me, staring at me. We looked at each other. I wanted to turn away but I couldn’t. I wanted to keep looking at him, touching his cheeks and then hug him. But I realized I couldn’t do it.
 

Don’t do that Ji ...
 

" Seungri is sleeping. I think he’s very tired . " I set myself to stay focused.
 

" Is he okay? He must be hated me right? I'm sorry I've made ​​you get involved " he touched my shoulder gently. There were millions of stun grabbed throughout my body immediately and it made ​​me more uncomfortable. I avoided it, I took the clothes and hugged it. Seunghyun bit his lip, I thought he realized my actions. I sat back on the dresser in front of the bed while Seunghyun sat on the edge of the bed.
 

" Don’t force him to back to that school. You know what has happened to him... " I looked at him sharply. I really didn’t understand why Seunghyun still believe in that school, they obviously couldn’t protect Seungri
 

" I know. But lately I've been very very busy, I couldnt let him with me in the office. And I don’t have time to look for a new school. While .... I can’t leave him with your parents constantly.... , you ... , me... , yeah you know.... " he wiped his face. He looked confused. I thought it was also my fault, he tried to respect me. I guessed he didn’t want the conflict grew between us again because I was so mad at him.
 

" You're his Appa. Seunghyun…, that boy is suffering and he needs you " I said. I guessed my tone rising but then Seunghyun smiled at me.
 

"Do you realize it? You’re very defending him now ... " he kept looking at me, I turned my face. His words seemed like a bullet that penetrated into my heart.
 

He's right ...
Why I started to care about that little prick?
 

"Listen.. This is serious. He said he heard our conversation that night. He knows he's not your son. One thing that I know now, he’s very sad and hurt. Say sorry to him ... and still be his Appa " I said. I looked down at the floor, Seunghyun was silent I just heard his breath. Maybe he was confused and regret, the same thing happened to me. But I believed Seungri will stay together with him and he would find a way out for this problem.
 

"You have to sue that school. And don’t forget to apologize to Seungri ... " I said again. I got up and put my clothes in a small bag that I put on the table.
 

" Speaking of sue, I met Youngbae last night . " Seunghyun suddenly approached and touched my hand. I was silent for a moment.
 

He already told you?
 

" I have to go " I took off his hand.
 

" Do you really want a divorce? Don’t you love me anymore? Why should be like this Ji? Do you really want to leave me? " He squeezed my shoulder and rocked it, but I remained silent and didn’t dare to look at him.
 

I dont know ...
But I cant...
 

" Answer me Jiyong! " he shouted. He looked very upset. I glared at him and then threw his grip.
 

" Youngbae had already told you right? And now I have to go! " I snapped. I took my bag. I didn’t know why I was angry but I felt he didn’t respect me.
 

" Is this because of Seungri? Can’t we fix it? Couldn’t you open your heart for him? " He took my hand back again.
 

" Why don’t you ask yourself?! Its not only about Seungri! Its you ! “ I shouted, it made me breathless. He sighed.
 

"Don’t you love me anymore? Answer me ... " he grabbed my face and made ​​me look at him. He actually looked as though deeply into my eyes like he tried to read what I was thinking. But I was just speechless, I didn’t know what to say.
 

Seunghyun ...
I still love you so much ...
Always ...
 

" Answer me! " He shouted. Seunghyun was really angry this time, and that bad energy was contagious to me. I wanted to scream too but I held myself because I didn’t want to kept arguing with him. It just would be very exhausting.
 

" I’ll try for it ... " I said softly. Somehow it didn’t make me feel better. There was something piercing my stomach.
 

I'm sorry ...
 

" Goddamnit! We've been married for 7 years and you could do this to me?! " He shouted again. My body was in shock when I heard his yell.
 

" Did you forget what you've done to me?! You lied to me! You accused me! You doubted me! " I shouted no less hardness than him. Seungri could probably hear our fight again and it made ​​me regret with what I did. Seunghyun sat back down on the bed, he bowed his head.
 

" I'm sorry .. , give me another chance .... " his said slowly. His voice was very heavy. I was getting confused what have to do with him. In the other side I couldn’t leave him because I knew I still loved him so much but another one I was so angry and upset with him, my mind told me to leave him.
 

" Do you remember what your Omma said at our wedding…., A happy marriage rests on a foundation of unquestioned trust.... , but I can’t find it again now." I said. Seunghyun only could look at me without words. I turned away but my legs felt strangely, as like I couldn’t move it. I forced myself and then walked toward the door. I still hope he held me, hugged me from behind but he didn’t do it. He still remained silent at his place.
 

" Fine ... , do what you want but one thing you need to know .... , I really love you and you know I cant live without you, I wont survive Ji " he said softly. I heard it very clearly even though he was behind me and I didn’t see his face. His words like a sandstorm that enveloped me. I was getting confused and it really tormented me.
 

Oh my God ..., what should I do?
 

I quickened my pace and left him behind. I didn’t know what the destiny tried to play with my life. I should be relieved if Seunghyun approved my plan but it all just made ​​me even more miserable.
 

Could I live without you?

------------------

 

Youngbae had prepared my file for divorce and I could sign it soon. I hadn’t heard about Seungri and I didn’t dare to ask his father after our meeting that night, even though I really wanted to know if Seungri was getting better and what happened with their relationship, was everything okay? I realized I was acting silly, I was a coward but I really didn’t have the courage to speak with Seunghyun. He was very angry and disappointed in me and I felt the same for him.
Maybe now what I'm feeling at Seungri more inclined to pity or perhaps worry, but it was not enough to make me better because the core of this problem wasn’t Seungri, despite it all started since he came to our life.
Seunghyun had changed, he accused me that I had affair with Seungho. And the most thing that made me hurt and sad was he didn’t believe me. I loved him so much, I spent a half of my life just for loving him but it all couldn’t open his eyes that I couldn’t never hurt him.
Seunghyun doubted not only about my love and my feelings but also on my ability for being a parent. I felt Seunghyun always underestimated me just because I’m not ready to adopt a child.
 

My husband doubted me...
 

Then why should I fight for this marriage? If there was no trust in it. If you love me then you should trust me right? He destroyed our foundation and it was too hurt to build it again. Perhaps, I would be happier without him and Seunghyun will be much happier without me. Perhaps, he would more happy if he’s with a woman and no matter what Seungri still needed a mother, especially after what happened to him. They needed a woman's touch that would bring perfection. Not me, I would never because I’m a man.
 

Divorce may be the best way...
 

"Are you sick? " Omma’s question startled me, suddenly interrupted my reverie.
 

"No… " I smiled back at toast on the plate right in the front of me. Omma sat beside me and rubbed my back.
 

" Finish your breakfast ... , you're so thin Jiyong " This time she my cheek. I didn’t like to see the look on her face, she looked wistful and sad. I just responded with a smile. We just fell silent after that, she noticed me who was chewing very slowly.
 

" How's Seungri? Is he okay? " Omma asked. She folded his hands on the table and looked back at me.
 

" I don’t know .... I haven’t spoken with him ​​and Seunghyun " I replied. For some reason every time I mentioned Seunghyun’s name my heart rumbled.
 

" We miss him…, next week is Junho's birthday. He will love it if his hyung come to his party. Can I call him? " Asked her again. I could feel her wrath. I put my fork.
 

"Of course. You don’t need my permission for it " I smiled and her arm.
 

" I know .... , I just don’t want to hurt you .... because your problems with Seunghyun... , this all .... , I don’t know .... I feel .... " Omma stammered. I understood her point, he just didn’t want to offend me. They love and care with Seungri but his father and I were in big trouble and we would be divorced soon and it caused them so difficult to meet that boy.
 

I hurt them all ...
 

"I think his Appa wouldn’t mind about that, I'll talk with Seunghyun Though if we have ......, divorced later….,  we still can see Seungri " I said. Omma sighed. I kne