From The Horse's Mouth
Without His VoiceI'm sorry for the late update! But here is a longer chapter. :)
Kyuhyun awoke after six days in the ICU, feeling much better and finally getting a good look at the room for the first time - before, he hadn't been awake long enough to get a firm grip on reality and he was sickeningly dizzy, too.
Though he felt a whole lot better and his hip wasn't hurting so much anymore, he was told that he had to stay in the ICU for another six hours so that he could be monitored further, just to make sure he was stable enough before going back to a normal hospital room.
Doctor Hwang didn't even have to take a look to know that Kyuhyun had a visitor, and so he spoke, "I have a feeling you have a visitor waiting once you're in a normal room again, Mr Cho. You better brush you hair or whatever it is that idols do nowadays," he chuckled a little.
"Visitors? Already?" Kyuhyun asked, straining to sit up, his arms wobbling beneath him. "But I've literally just woke up and you didn't even check! How do you know?" His words were a little raspy and hoarse - he'd murder for a glass of water.
"Mr Cho, please don't push yourself! Take a moment to calm down while I fetch some water for you, okay? Just sit and relax." Reluctant and dying to get some air, Kyuhyun nodded and laid back down slowly with the help of his doctor. "I'll be back in a moment. Please don't move too much. You know - just in case. " With that, Doctor Hwang hobbled off to get some water, leaving him in the room with a couple of nurses, the room silent except for the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor.
Kyuhyun was exhausted. He didn't even know why - he hadn't done anything for the past... How many days? He wasn't sure.
Ever since the... The accident, everything had been a blur. It had all gone so fast that it felt as if it was years that he'd last been in the Kiss The Radio studio, but everything had happened so quickly since. It felt as if it had only been a few hours since Leeteuk wrestled with the door. It was the strange sensation of being caught between the past and the present, but then he figured... It'd probably been because he'd slept most of his time away. His internal clocks were messed up.
The sound of the beeping was getting to him, so he lay back in the bed, squeezing his eyes shut in his attempt to push the pain out of his head - he could feel a headache on its way, thanks to that stupid machine. But... At least I'm alive.
Kyuhyun's eyes snapped open and he jolted upright, causing searing pain to tear him apart. His eyes were sore and his throat was raw, his head spinning. Panting as if he'd just run from reality, he could feel the stickiness of cold sweat coating him like a heavy mist, fog that just wouldn't leave his mind or body.
Gasping for air and bringing his knees up in contraction from the agony in his hips, it didn't quite register when someone called his name.
"Kyuhyun-ah!" Leeteuk called, scared to reach out and touch him in case he put him in even more pain. "Kyuhyun! Breathe!" Leeteuk realised it was pointless to call to him because he seemed to be so shaken up that nothing would get through to him. He seemed... Stunned, almost.
Itching to help, Leeteuk did the only thing that came to mind, springing from his chair onto the bed beside Kyuhyun, lightly resting his arms around him in a comforting embrace, careful not to squeeze him for fear of... Of breaking him.
After a while, once Kyuhyun's breathing had slowed again, he began to sink into Leeteuk's arms, relishing the sense of affection and security. He felt as if he were a child again, crying for his mother after having a silly, immature nightmare that could never happen.
However, this wasn't silly or immature. It had already happened. It was reality.
He choked, suddenly realising that all his pent up emotions needed to be released. He knew he needed to cry, but he didn't want to - he didn't want to be weak.
The warm arms around him tightened slightly, confirming that it was alright, feeding him comfort. With that, he didn't hold back. He lost control of his body, shocking himself upon hearing a hearty sob tear through his own throat. Tears racked his delicate frame, shaking his shoulders. The tears running down his cheeks were almost equivalent to what Leeteuk had cried.
Upon watching the maknae break down and blubber in his arms, Leeteuk felt his heart hurt immensely. All he wanted to do was keep Kyuhyun from crying - he didn't deserve this. Heck, no one deserved this, least of all Kyuhyun! Why do the worst things happen to the best people?
Eventually, Kyuhyun calmed a little. His lungs were heavy and burning from his violent breathing that still continued, but his vocal chords had finally gotten a rest. His tear ducts wouldn't let up and his cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes irritated. He pulled himself from his saviour's chest and croaked, "Water."
Immediately, Leeteuk got off of the bed and removed the glass of water from the bedside table and handed it to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun, too desperate for water, didn't look up to see his helper as he took the water into his shaking hands.
Too eager, he raised it closer to his face, the sudden movement causing the liquid to splash right into his eyes, hence the glass fell from his grip into his lap, the bed sheets becoming soaked and sticking to his legs.
Quick to react, Leeteuk's hand dived after the glass and he stretched to get to the jug of water still on the bedside table and poured him a new glass. Being oh so gentle, he took Kyuhyun's pale hand in his own and placed the half-full glass on it carefully, keeping his hand underneath to support it.
Kyuhyun finally put the cup to his lips successfully and Leeteuk took in his appearance as he drank. His hair was ruffled every which-way, his face was pale and still shiny under a sheen of sweat, his hospital clothes scruffy. There were dark circles under his eyes and his lips were chapped, his nose and eyes still pink from his crying. He was a mess.
Kyuhyun lowered the glass, having drained it, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Leeteuk took the glass from him and placed it on the side, reaching forward to take the maknae's hands in his own. They were cold to the touch and still shaking.
With quivering lips, Kyuhyun managed a soft whisper, slowly beginning to calm down. "Hyung... I missed you."
The elder chuckled a little and shook his head gently, "I swear, I missed you more."
Kyuhyun smiled minutely and looked down at their hands, lacking the energy to argue. A while passed in silence, Kyuhyun thinking over his dream.
In his sleep, he relived the crash for the first time. However, it was different. It wasn't an exact recount of the accident - it was worse. Much worse. People died.
Willing himself not to think of it, he looked up, straight into Leeteuk's eyes. The eyes he saw were different to those in his dream, but the same, somehow. These were affectionate, smiling and real. These eyes were alive.
Sharing a comforting smile with the leader, he asked, "Are you my visitor? Doctor Hwang said I had one before I fell asleep."
Leeteuk nodded, keeping to himself that he hadn't actually left his side this whole time.
Kyuhyun nodded also, sighing out an "Oh." He leant back slowly, letting his head rest on his pillow again. Leeteuk, knowing the way the hospital beds worked by now, took the remote and pushed a button that lifted half of the bed, letting Kyuhyun sit up with the matress' support. After another minute of comfortable silence, Kyuhyun murmured, "I was expecting someone exciting."
Taken aback, Leeteuk was lightly shocked until he remembered: This is Cho Kyuhyun. Scoffing, he leant back in the chair beside the bed and crossed his arms after handing Kyuhyun another glass of water, "Am I not exciting enough for you?"
Kyuhyun removed his lips from the glass again, turning to the leader and raising an eyebrow. He calmly stated, "Don't embarrass yourself, hyung," before raising the glass again.
Leeteuk chuckled again, but said nothing. He was exhausted. Worrying over Kyuhyun was draining and now that he was finally beside Leeteuk again and of stable condition, the leader just felt like collapsing and sleeping right there - a huge weight was finally lifted off his shoulders. But, until he knew that Kyuhyun was as healthy as he'd ever been, he wouldn't dare leave him.
Kyuhyun watched the leader in silence, seeing that his eyes had dark circles under them and willing himself not to laugh when he noticed that the leader was on the brink of falling asleep right there, his eyes occasionally falling closed before he snapped them open again.
He looked ill. Though, anyone could see that it was sleep deprivation. As the leader of one of Korea's biggest boy groups, he must have had so many things on his mind at night that it'd become hard to sleep. Not to mention, he seemed to be taking Kyuhyun's problem the hardest - he probably blamed himself. Why? Because he was just that type of person. The stupid type, Kyuhyun chuckled.
Kyuhyun's attention was drawn to one thing he was wearing. Around Leeteuk's wrist was a white label, similar to his own. Though Leeteuk was wearing normal clothes and his injuries were invisible by now - he seemed to be fully healed - he still had the hospital label on.
Upon this realisation, Kyuhyun blurted, "Why are you still here?"
Leeteuk's eyes snapped open at this, surprised that Kyuhyun would just happen to ask that one thing. To everyone else, he'd lied. To his doctor, to Donghae, to his manager, to his fans and to himself. He'd told them he was ill, that he didn't feel right yet.
In truth, he was just scared to leave his dongsaeng. He felt that if he left him even for a moment, the maknae wouldn't... He wouldn't be okay. And then, it'd be his fault.
He'd told himself that Kyuhyun needed him, and he'd believed it. Truly. But, once Donghae came along, he realised what was actually going on. Kyuhyun didn't need him as much as he needed Kyuhyun.
And so he decided. He wouldn't lie anymore. At least not to this vocalist. "I... I didn't want to leave you."
He looked down at the floor, his nose beginning to sting. He could feel the tears pushing at the corner of his eyes but he willed them back, refusing to cry in front of the maknae.
He heard Kyuhyun sigh and felt a firm hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He knew Kyuhyun would say something and from the way he was acting, he knew he'd understand. Or, at least, pretend to. Leeteuk felt that now wasn't the time to be joking around.
"Hyung... Don't you have a life?" Leeteuk thought that reality was messing with him. He didn't believe the words that came from the maknae's mouth - here the leader was, being sensitive and honest, and all the maknae could do was insult him?
He looked up, seeing a cheerful, amused grin on his face, and something told him it wasn't meant to be an insult. For once.
However, Leeteuk responded in the easiest way, defending himself. He exclaimed in feigned disbelief, "Excuse me?" When Kyuhyun only grinned at him and raised an eyebrow, he continued, "I have a life! I lead Super Junior!"
Kyuhyun laughed, shaking his head, feeling much better already. When Kyuhyun acted as he usually would have done, Leeteuk couldn't help but enjoy it. Upon seeing him like this, Kyuhyun ruffled Leeteuk's hair as if he were a dongsaeng, still wearing his signature grin. "Then you should be with them. Go on, get out of here, you limpet."
Upon the beloved maknae's words, something clicked within him. something made him realise... Kyuhyun is strong. He can get through anything in one piece.
Leeteuk, as the leader, was needed elsewhere. He finally realised how wrong he'd been.
"Right, then. If you say so, I'll be off."
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