Almost Like A Father
Without His Voice
One morning, Kyuhyun was moved to the Intensive Care Unit after a scare - he'd temporarily stopped breathing. Leeteuk didn't know till gone noon and wasn't allowed to see him.
Leeteuk, who had almost fully healed from the crash by now, had been told that he could be discharged soon. However, he knew that meant that he'd see less of Kyuhyun and be expected to work again, like Eunhyuk and Shindong had done.
So, that meant that he'd have to stop sprinting around the hospital for him and act a little more in pain if he wanted to stay by Kyuhyun's side as long as he could - his recklessness had made people believe he should be discharged already. But... He couldn't have that.
Many times, other members of Super Junior would come and see him and request to see Kyuhyun, but they'd be turned away from the ICU. At one point, three days after Kyuhyun had been put in the ICU, Donghae had made a trip to see Leeteuk alone once his schedule had allowed, wishing to speak with him in private.
"You can't do this, hyung."
Leeteuk sat on the end of his bed in his room, looking out of the window in silence. He'd been happy when he'd heard Donghae had come to see him, but now that he was actually here... Was he just here to interrogate him like the others had tried to do?
Having not received an answer from the leader, Donghae sighed and ran a hand through his hair, willing himself to keep his head - as soon as he'd begun speaking about coming back to work, Leeteuk had been so uncooperative that it was scarily uncharacteristic of him. He hadn't said a thing and wouldn't even look at him. "Hyung," he called, "Speak to me."
He wasn't sure whether Leeteuk ignored him or just pretended he didn't hear. Whatever it was, he didn't respond.
"Fine," Donghae shook his head. "Sit there, I'll do the talking. You do the listening. Yeah?" Again, no answer. He leant back into his chair, "Right. I'll talk, then."
It had only been a week so far, but Super Junior were getting bored and the fans were becoming restless - no matter how much the healthy members of Super Junior tried to console the fans, the absence of the leader and maknae was scaring people. They weren't allowed to say anything about anyone's state - that would be publicly announced once the waves had calmed. But, if the fans saw that the leader was alright and if he shared that the maknae would be fine, life would be so much easier for everyone.
Not to mention, they couldn't just stop with their work - they, as a band, as a family, had to go through the worst together and come out stronger than ever at the other end. However, they couldn't be strong if the leader wasn't there - who'd lead them through this? Heechul? Hah.
Leeteuk scoffed at the idea of Heechul taking his place. Sure, he was the next eldest, but -no offense- he wasn't particularly cut out for it.
Upon having finally pulled a reaction from Leeteuk, Donghae paused in his rant. He his lips and leaned forward, "Doesn't sound right, does it, hyung?"
Once again, Leeteuk chortled at the idea, but said nothing.
Donghae pressed, knowing he was getting somewhere, "Nothing's going right at home, hyung. We're worried about you - and Kyuhyun. Everything is falling apart. I'm not sure that you realise just how important you are to us." He waited a moment, seeing that Leeteuk's frown softened slightly. When only silence greeted him, yet again, he murmured with raw sincerity, "We need you, hyung."
Leeteuk huffed, beginning to get annoyed at Donghae's soft words. He stood up and approached the window, keeping his back to the younger. He shrugged, watching the cars outside, "What do you want me to do about it, Donghae?" His voice was distant, the way he was acting. It was strange. It wasn't Leeteuk.
Donghae, deciding to be gentle, quietly approached him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Come back to us. We need you, hyung, more than anyone."
This struck something in Leeteuk. He whipped around, possibly ripping one of the last remaining stitches in his back, with fire in his eyes. Staring straight into Donghae's eyes, he whispered, "Kyuhyun needs me."
Standing his ground, Donghae replied, strangely calm, "Kyuhyun has doctors. He has love, he has us. We stand by him even if we're not right here, physically by his side every second of the day." Leeteuk was a little surprised by the anger that was apparent in his voice, however quiet. Donghae took a deep breath, cooling off. "We're supporting him by covering for him, trying to keep the void filled and the fans away. We're not getting in the way, hyung. It's different."
A little lost for words, Leeteuk used his default excuse, "I'm ill, Donghae. You can't tell an ill person to leave the hospital."
Donghae shook his head, turning to the seat to pick up his coat, "You're not that ill, hyung. I understand that you want to support Kyuhyun, but... But life goes on." After slipping on his coat in silence, ignoring the glare from Leeteuk, he spoke again. "We love you, hyung, and don't forget that. But stop lying to us, stop lying to yourself. You're meant to be back with us - you don't need to be here anymore."
Leeteuk looked down again, not answering. He had nothing left to say. Donghae clasped a hand on his shoulder in sincerity, genuinely smiling as he spoke his parting words. "Remember, hyung: You have a life to live." And with that, he left, leaving Leeteuk alone to his thoughts.
It was true - he'd been lying to himself. He wasn't doing any good here and he wasn't helping Kyuhyun. Heck, he hadn't seen him for two days! Why was he still here?
With a sigh, he shook his head.
He promised himself he'd watch over Kyuhyun and that's what he'll do. He'll stay there.
He'll be there for him.
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