Without His Voice
Without His Voice
"But if we do that, I'm afraid he'll never sing again."
Leeteuk had woken up. With injuries, yes, and so had Shindong and Eunhyuk, but Kyuhyun... He hadn't awoken yet.
Upon hearing that the maknae was in a coma, the leader felt his throat clog up. Coma. It felt foreign to him. He couldn't speak. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't comprehend.
However, that was nothing. His ribs had been shattered in the crash, unable to protect his lungs. They needed to remove the bone fragments so that they wouldn't puncture his lungs. If they did... Kyuhyun wouldn't breathe again.
Luckily, according to the doctors, there was something that could be done. Relieved, Leeteuk thought everything was sorted. He didn't care what happened as long as he had his maknae back, alive and well.
Regrettably, it involved opening up his neck, an action that would more than likely sever his vocal cords.
"But if we do that, I'm afraid he'll never sing again."
Leeteuk felt his world crash around him, the audible sound of his heart shattering blocked out the doctor's next words.
If it were down to Leeteuk, he would have given the okay right away. As long as he had Kyuhyun by his side, alive and happy, he'd trade anything. Even the maknae's beautiful voice. It wasn't his voice that made him the wonderful person he was, it was his individuality.
You'd never find another quite like the maknae.
The teasing, the pranks, the scary empty threats. The laughs, the hugs. The love. Cho Kyuhyun.
He wanted him back. He didn't care if he couldn't sing again, he didn't need his voice. He needed him.
Yet, if Leeteuk gave up Kyuhyun's voice for his life, would he still be Kyuhyun? Without his voice, his happiness, would he be the same?
Leeteuk pictured it for a moment. Depressed Kyuhyun. Lonely Kyuhyun. Silent Kyuhyun.
If they went through with it - the operation - Kyuhyun would never sing again. Though he'd be alive and well, he'd be a wreck inside. He'd pretend he was fine, sure, but he'd hate life. He'd be a shell of who he used to be.
He wouldn't be Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun without singing was life without air. Love without laughs. Super Junior without Kyuhyun. It just wasn't right.
"No," Leeteuk kept his voice steady as he could, "No. He'd rather die than never sing. You can't take his voice!" His heart throbbed. His head pounded, his soul drowning in his unshed tears. As the Leader, he had to make these choices, no matter how hard. It was expected of him. But never did he believe he'd literally be in control of decisions in life or death situations.
The doctor nodded and looked down solemnly, bowing as he turned to leave, taking the leader's decision with him. Leeteuk remained frozen in place, his mind reeling at a thousand miles an hour. What had he just done?
Had he... Ended Kyuhyuns life?
The doctor turned the corner, out of sight. As if stung, Leeteuk sprung into action, sprinting down the long hallway, his limbs screaming at him in pain. He was told that he could wander the hospital so long as he didn't put himself in any physical strain.
To hell with that.
"He'll never sing again."
Light-headed, aching and heartbroken, he searched for Kyuhyun's doctor, ignoring the pleas from other nurses to calm down. He halted and they tried to console him and guide him somewhere, but he shook them off, getting frustrated. Frantic, he continued to search, looking for the one familiar head of hair in the crowded corridor, his pulse in his ears.
He couldn't see properly, for the world was spinning, but he was determined. He would do something. He would save Kyuhyun. He must save Kyuhyun.
Shrugging off a male nurse, he snapped, "Get off me!", startling the nurse. With that, he pushed on ahead, ignoring the dizziness. His breathing was irregular, but his heart picked up pace once he saw the familiar doctor rounding another corner. Leeteuk yelled, "DOCTOR HWANG!" he continued sprinting, feeling his knees become weak beneath him. However, he pressed on. "DOCTOR HWANG!"
He turned the corner, relieved to see that said doctor was speaking to his own doctor, having stopped in the hallway. He panted, jogging up to him, "Doctor Hwang, please, I-"
He was interrupted by his own doctor, "Mr Park, I thought I told you not to strain yourself!"
He sent a Heechul-worthy glare to his doctor, silencing him. Right now, this wasn't about Leeteuk. It was about Kyuhyun.
He turned back to Kyuhyun's doctor. Upon thinking of the maknae cooped up in the hospital bed, unknowing of his fate, tears began to cloud the corners of his vision. He stressed, "Doctor Hwang, what I said back there... I didn't mean it. Don't let him die. There must be another way! Just... Don't take him from us!" He sobbed, sinking to the floor. He continued, Doctor Hwang now crouching beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. "There must be another way. He needs his voice! You don't understand!"
Doctor Hwang sighed, patting his shoulder lightly. "Mr Park, I'm sorry. I don't think there's anything else we can do."
Upon hearing this, another sob ripped the air. He became dizzy once again for the lack of oxygen getting into his lungs, his crying not giving it a chance. "Please," he begged, his voice hoarse and his heart broken, "Please..."
Doctor Hwang smiled sadly, hesitating for a moment. He finally spoke, "I can try. I can't promise anything, but I can try."
The world didn't seem as bright anymore, when he thought of it without Kyuhyun. Already, he missed him.
The teasing, the pranks, the scary empty threats. The laughs, the hugs, the love.
The voice.
Cho Kyuhyun.
He'll sing again.
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