Please Don't Go

I journeyed to every apartment house. Each one has three levels with six apartments per floor. It was very difficult to mingle with different kinds of people. Some would answer the door but then let me leave before I could finish my sentence. Some would not even answer the door at all. Some were also nice enough to answer if they know Taecyeon and where he stays.

 

Hours have passed and still no clue where he is. Evening is fast approaching, I better call Changmin to fetch me here, before the beast discovers. My legs did not permit me to reach the place where I unloaded a while ago and left me crashing on one of the apartment houses’ stoop. I released a heavy sigh and leaned my head on the cold metal rails.

 

“Where are you Taec?” I cried a tear. I pursed my lips. I don’t want to cry…

 

I searched everywhere, asked every stranger, stepped in to this unfamiliar place, hoping that I could, find him.

What do I do now?

I sulked quietly, preventing from creating a scandal to those people passing by.

I’m such a failure. I cannot believe I couldn’t find the person I love. I-I-I…

 

Water came traveling down my pale cheeks, so disappointed at myself, so lost, so confused, so clueless. I covered my shuddering lips and running nose.

 

So, tomorrow is the day, when I’ll start living with no meaning… Yes, I know Changmin would take good care of me. I might learn to love him in the future, but, no one, no one could replace Taecyeon. I admit, he means more to me now than Jin Ho ever was.

 

The rain poured down, and just seconds it rained harder.

 

I grasped my legs together, near my chest and curled up like a ball attempting to stop my body from freezing. Like the rain, tears slid down my face constantly.

 

I wonder if something bad happened to Changmin?

He’s not calling back…

 

All of the sudden I was thinking of Taec again giving me such a heavy feeling and crying it all out would only make it worse.

 

“Taecyeon,” I muttered while weeping, “Taecyeon. Please don’t go and leave me. I feel alone when you’re not beside me. I need you bad. I can’t live without you… I love you.” I was holding the necklace he gave and stared at the bracelet he passed down to me.

 

I subsequently grew weak and foolishly waited for the rain to stop, not seeking shelter. I noticed a pair of Chuck Taylor shoes stand right before me. I realized the rain had stopped.

“What are you doing here miss? Are you lost?” a man’s voice questioned me.

“I’m not lost for your information.” I scoffed at this stranger to leave me alone. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

He cleared his throat, “Then what are you doing here?”

I swiped away from my sight my damp hair and tucked them behind my ears to see who this irritating person was, “It’s none of your business.”

 

                       He was actually holding a black umbrella over my head, apparently it was still drizzling. I narrowed my eyes to see him better, “Mister could you just le--” I was put to a halt when my eyes comprehended that that guy was none other than, “Taec?” wearing sweats. He must have started boxing again and just came home from practice.

 

He replied with an unsure tone, “Yae Jin?”

 

                       My heart began racing and energy was brought back in my whole body. I impulsively jumped on him giving him a -wet- embrace. He accidentally let go of his umbrella, when he hugged me back.

 

      “I’m so happy nothing bad happened to you!” I yelled right at his ear in so much glee.

Even though he did not respond, I know he feels the same way as me. I felt it on the way he hugged me.

It was such a comforting and satisfying silence, as we both allowed the rain to shower on us.

 

My heart and soul became sane knowing he’s so close to me again.

 

We gradually let go, greeting each other with an inerasable smirk. I voluntarily picked up the ‘fallen’ umbrella and held it as high as I could to accommodate his height. Taecyeon took something out of his jacket’s pocket, “Here” he offered me his handkerchief.

 

The whole situation was not yet sinking in, causing me to just stare at it. He chuckled and softly wiped my wet face, his other hand holding me by the chin. I could feel he longed for me too, I could sense so much care, and I feel secure… I feel his love.

“I missed you.” He uttered as soon as he finished. The next move he did was removing his jacket and placing it right on my shoulders.

“I missed you too.” I was able to finally give a reply making myself comfortable with the jacket. I saw his lips forming his signature goofy grin. He’s going to say something to insult me, I know it.

 

His eyes scanned me from head to toe, “Look at you… I can’t believe for the very first time, you actually look hideous.”

As a reflex I punched his chest and he cutely reacted, “Ouch.” When he recovered he added, “You know I was lying. You don’t have to hit me that hard. ”

“Yeah right.”

“You know, to me you’ll be the most beautiful girl in the entire universe, no matter what your appearance is.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “Ha-ha.” I faked a laugh.

 

Taec dork-ishly raised his eyebrows up and down in a hasty manner, “Let’s get inside.” He suggested.

“You live here in this building behind me?” I questioned.

“Yup.” He nodded.

I frowned, “How come when I--” I was cut off by Taec. “Let’s just continue this inside. People are watching us.” He warned.

“Since when?” I wondered.

He whispered, “The moment you hugged me.”

I observed my surroundings and there were a few people watching us and I couldn’t quite figure out the expressions they wore. We both glanced at each other’s eyes and hurriedly ran in the building together, his hand intertwined with mine.

 

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

“What are you doing?” I threw him a question while I dried my real hair with a towel.

 

Taecyeon lend me some clothes to wear for the mean time.

He answered glancing at me repeatedly, “I’m making tea.” I raised my eyebrow, “You make tea?”

He nodded while focusing on pouring the steaming tea in the cups. I proceeded to the couch and took a throw pillow and hugged it. My eyes walked around observing the place. It appears to be more ‘homey’ here than back at the employee’s dorm. It is also a lot spacious. I wonder if he practices boxing here.

 

I noticed Taec standing right before me handing me a cup of tea. I thanked him and sipped some of it, afterwards putting it on the coffee table in the middle of the room.

“What brings you here?” he asked sitting a few inches away from me.

I took in a deep breath and stated, “I wanted to see you, before I get…” I paused and then continued, “…married.”

He dropped his empty cup on the table and slumped on the couch. He soughed, “Oh, yeah I heard that on the news. You know I like that Changmin guy. He looks like someone who would take good care of you.”

“What?” his reply shocked me. I fixed my gaze at him. What is he saying? He’s not against my marriage?

He sat straight up, “What’s the matter?”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” I wondered my voice changing to a more irritated tone.

He shot me a puzzled reaction seeming he did not understand.

I directed my attention at the clock on the wall, “You’re encouraging me to marry someone I don’t love?” I added, “When you know that you’re the one that my heart beats for.” Taecyeon froze in his place, after hearing me say that I loved him, indirectly.

“Yae Jin.” was all he could utter.

 

There was profound silence built between us, yet Taec soon broke it, “It’s for your own good, that’s why I’m encouraging you.” I retorted, “I’m no good without you Taecyeon.”

He gave me a stare and had his mouth shut the whole time. He appears to be thinking. What could possibly be running on his mind?

 

“I’m willing to let you go, ‘cause I sense that you would be safer away from me.” He halted looking like he could not go on longer. He had a hard time looking at me straight in my eyes. He looked like he was in pain while releasing those words out his mouth. Hurt filled his eyes, “It’s time for you to start moving on. It’s time to forget that I ever existed in your life.”

 

“How could you say that?” I was in the brink of crying. I wanted to slap him, but I just can’t do it. I can’t…

Taec his gaze fleeted away from me, he doesn’t want to see me cry.

“Taecyeon.” I called his attention.

He looked back and noticed, “You’re wearing the necklace and the bracelet?” I bobbed my head.

“You could keep that.” He stated. I instantly raised my voice at him. “Stop it! Stop pushing me away!” I continued, “Don’t pretend that I’m nothing to you.”

 

No response…

   

“What do you want me to do? Welcome you back in my heart and then what? Get hurt the moment I see you walking in the aisle and that I wouldn’t be the man waiting for you in the altar.” He blurted out and turned his back at me.

 

I know how he feels…

My arms reached out and embraced him from his back.

I gently closed my eyes, “Please Taec. Grant my one wish… to be with you tonight.” He peeled my hands off his body, facing me.

 

His visage changed, “Okay.” He agreed.

 

Taecyeon immediately searched for the T.V.’s remote. When he found it he switched it on.

 

What he did actually help ease off the awkwardness amidst us. As if we weren’t in a quarrel a while ago.

 

Time passed and my eyes felt heavy. I involuntarily rested my head on Taec’s shoulders because of drowsiness.

He pressed the power button turning the television off. He shook me and said, “You better get some sleep. You use my room. I’ll just sleep here on the couch.” He suggested bringing me back up.

 

Taecyeon stood me up and escorted me up to the door of his room. I was about to twist the knob when his hand hindered me from doing so. I stared at him and he shot me a sweet smile, “I just wanted to say good night.” He uttered.

I wished him a good night too I was about to open the door however I noticed he didn’t take his hand off mine. I looked back at him and saw him staring, not the same stare he always gives me. It was something else, which I have never seen before.

 

I saw him gradually nearing my face and halted for a second, to check my reaction and then persisted. Not long enough our lips made contact for the first time. He gave me one engaging kiss which woke me up. One lust provoking kiss… His hand on the knob, found its way around my waist.

 

Things got passionate from then on. I realized my arms were already wrapped on his neck and his, holding me very close.

 

From passionate to torrid to the point that we bit each other’s lips and our tongues danced elegantly. He took it to the next level when he had my back against the door carrying me higher. Instinctively I enveloped my legs right at his hips.

 

Our lips took a break to inhale some air. We were both panting heavily as we looked deep into each other’s eyes.

 

We wanted each other badly… Taecyeon drew closer and left scorching pecks on my neck.

 

Lust could not stop leading me. I-I needed more. I allowed him to continue until I uncontrollably released a groan.

He paused and glanced at me, it seemed to have turned him on even more. He carried on with his interrupted business and advanced back to my longing lips. I impeded and uttered his name as I tried to catch my breath, “Taecyeon?” We communicated with our eyes and he soon got the message that I sought to be put down. My feet were again back on the wooden floor.

 

He lovingly brushed my hair not taking his eyes off me even for a second.

 

“Tae--” he cut me off, placing his index finger before my lips.

He muttered a, “Sshh~” relaxing me indefinitely. Taec pursued, “Would it be alright if we sleep together instead?” he queried, his voice sounding y.

 

I knew what he meant and timidly nodded my head. Tonight he will be the first and only one I would give my heart to.

Taecyeon held me bridal style as we went in his room and the moon’s beams shined through his curtains.

 

It was our only light.  

 

He gently sat me down on his soft and pure bed. He crawled beside me and we began kissing all over again. I was locked in his embrace when our souls were slowly stripped. Revealing flesh to add more pleasure and quench our thirst…

 

We lay on his clean bed, bare. As soon as our bodies touched sparks, flames, arousing words played back and forth across the four walls. He has shown me what I’ve never felt before.

 

Our eyes meet from time to time and it never involved blank stares, every look was different but those glances meant the same thing. We needed more, MORE of this toxic and addicting love.

 

We made sensual contact non-stop and we were against each other the whole time, separating never coming in to mind. Minute after minute we feed ourselves with special – new – sensations, not wanting to pause even just for a millisecond.  

 

We could take each other all night long…

 

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

I couldn’t explain this feeling inside me. Lying beside him never felt this good, as sheets wrapped our satisfied bodies, covering evidence.

 

I gazed at Taecyeon’s serene visage as the morning sun stung my – touched – skin.

 

I want to stay. I feel like he’ll be in danger every time he’s not within my reach. I want to protect him too, like how he protects me. It finally dawned to me that today I’ll be owned, not by Taec but someone else…

 

When I was deep in my thoughts Taecyeon suddenly woke up and I turned to him with a fake smirk, “Good morning.” I greeted him. He threw me a goofy smile and placed his hand on my head.

 

He watched me before saying, “These finger tips of mine longed to brush your hair and feel those soft lips you have.” He paused to caress my right cheek and continued, “To caress your cheeks and trace your sleek jaw line.” His hand ending up below my chin, “You made me experience those shivers, those shivers you unconsciously give me. You honestly drive me insane Yae Jin. You have no idea how much I missed you.”

 

He sat up showing his toned upper body and ended, “I will never be complete without you. I love you.”

 

I allowed Taec to kiss my forehead, and then I responded an, “I love you too.”

 

His face became serious afterwards, “This would probably be the last time you would be hearing those words come out from my mouth.” I sensed negative energy from him.

 

“Taec…” I couldn’t think of a word to say.

“This is the real world Yae Jin. You better go home. They might be looking for the bride.” He tried to pull me away from dream land.

 

I felt my heart being smashed brutally, “You’re right.” I gave him an empty look.  

 

I swiftly changed to my – dried - original clothes and waited for Taec to stop me from leaving, but he didn’t. Instead he eagerly called a taxi –which is currently outside of the apartment house- to ‘safely’ drive me there, back to hell.

 

I noticed him wearing the same clothes the time when I talked to him at the garden, late that night. When he asked me if I could be his. Is he trying to really shove me away? It’s so not like him.

He’s just lying to protect me from the beast. I know he disapproves of me getting married. I know he truly loves me, I sensed that in him last night.

He led me out the apartment house, with no conversations attached. He was looking straight the whole time with a bothered expression. The steps I took down the stoop I rested on yesterday, was like a countdown to a life filled with chains. Taecyeon had a firm grip on my hand when we arrived at the open door of the vehicle. I gazed at him and found him struggling, like he doesn’t know what to do.

 

I was about to give him a peck on his pale cheek yet he refused.

“I have one question.” I stated before him and did not bother to let him respond, “How come you did not go with your plan of killing me?”

His voice sounded stern, “I would have went with my plan but--” I cut him off and continued his sentence, “…but you fell in love with me instead.” He sighed, “And, you made me realize that revenge would do me no good. At that time I didn’t have the courage to tell you yet, your stepmom just got ahead of me.”

I did not even think twice to believe his words. I know he was telling the truth. There’s no need for a lie detector test, I could sense his honesty and that fact that my principle –which my dad thought me- changed him. My principle that revenge is a lame excuse to face a problem I say let fate do its work.

He bid a cold good-bye afterwards as I got in. I closed the door and rolled the window down, “Bye Taec.” I stated as water started forming in my eyes.

He irritably wiped his face with his palm, from his forehead up to his chin, clicked his tongue and spun around. Disappointment swallowed me whole, as I steadily rolled the window back up. I shut my eyes as the taxi drove away, not looking back at him.

Separating for the second time hurts more than the first, to the point that killing myself entered in mind. Taecyeon was my life support. Without him, I felt like I just died, as if I could hear the sound of a flat line ringing in my ears. I’m not sure if I could completely erase his existence in my life. If I forget him, it means I’m also forgetting how to live.   

 

I suddenly took of the necklace and the bracelet, not wanting to be reminded of him. I controlled my tears not to fall and checked my phone for any important message from Changmin.

I had five missed calls last night and two this morning from him, while I received three text messages from Jeonhee.

The texts she sent me implied the same thing; I needed to come home immediately. My heart grew nervous, something terrible might have happened to them. I requested the driver to hasten his driving. I hope I’m not too late.

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

The vehicle slowly entered the mansion’s premises. A heavy feeling burdened me upon seeing the high concrete posts. I wonder if Changmin and Jeonhee are safe.

 

I paid the fare and hopped off the taxi. As my feet touched the ground bodyguards flooded my way. They escorted me to the beast’s room.

 

I was surprised to see both Changmin and Jeonhee in good condition, having a serious conversation with Jang Haneul.

The crowd inside soon noticed my presence and directed their gazes at me. I still managed to give them a polite bow.

 

Jang Haneul threw me a sarcastic applause then stated, “You finally decided to come home.” She scoffed continuing her statement, “I thought you would never show on your own wedding day. Poor Changmin would’ve looked like a fool if you didn’t show.”

 

The bodyguards hauled me beside Changmin. We only made eye contact and the beast pursued, “Shame on you three. You actually thought you could deceive me just like that? Switching clothes, using wigs? I’m not stupid.”

 

I still couldn’t absorb what’s happening. Yesterday Jang Haneul was so scared of Changmin, but now it’s like he was not a threat to her at all.

 

“So how’s Taecyeon by the way?” she suddenly asked. I jerked a bit, realizing she knows I saw Taecyeon. I gulped and did not answer.

 

The beast massaged her temples, “I can’t believe you’re still chasing after that liar and that low-life.”

I instantly protested, “How dare you call him a low-life and a liar?!”

She strode towards me and held me by the chin, “That’s the truth dear.” She did not allow me to respond. After releasing her grip she asked the bodyguards to me to my room so I could prepare.

 

 Before leaving the room I looked back at the two and they simultaneously mouthed, “We’re sorry.” I gave them a convincing smile, signifying my thanks even if the plan crumbled in the end.

 

A few minutes after arriving in my room, I heard a knock on my door, “Come in.” I faintly stated.

 

Changmin and Jeonhee humbly entered. I walked towards them to say, “I guess I’ll see you at the altar then, Changmin.”

I’m finally raising the white flag. I give up.

“Ms. Yae Jin, don’t say that.” Jeonhee responded sensing my hopelessness.

“Yae Jin--” I cut Changmin off, “it’s over. There’s nothing else we could do.” 

I turned my back on them once I heard my makeup artist call on me. They were both escorted out the mansion to prepare as well.

 

After this very day, I’d be living a new life…

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

“Are you ready, Yae Jin dear?” Amanda, the French designer asked me. I answered, “Yes.” and went out my closet.

 

 As soon as I stepped out, everyone was smitten by my appearance even if I was wearing a dead expression.

“You look spectacular dear~! Now that you have makeup and your hair is styled.” The designer gladly stated.

 

I was still wearing the same wedding gown, the one I tore apart. Well it’s not really the same dress, just the same design.

 

Afterwards I was escorted to my bed, I sat down while someone handed me the shoes I’m going to wear. Amanda’s assistants elegantly wore it on my feet. They soon handed me a bouquet of fresh white roses. I held it tight and stood up walking towards my mirror, wanting to see how I looked like.

 

The moment I saw my reflection, I cried a tear. It’s not because I liked how I looked, but because I remembered my dream. This was how I sort of looked like… Curled hair, this gown, everything was exactly the same. I felt the tears coming so I asked everyone to leave me alone for a while. After they all fled, my tears burst from my eyes.

 

I don’t know what else to do to get myself out of this mess.

 

Tears stopped when I heeded an abrupt knock on my door. I wiped the melted makeup with a tissue and waited for the person to enter voluntarily. Not a second has passed and I saw Mr. Kim enter. I instantly stood up because of fear.

 

I gulped, “Why are you here?”

 

Mr. Kim appeared like he has been running back and forth within the mansion. He tried to regain his strength before replying. He released a heavy sigh and stated, “I have something important to tell you.” He sounded so urgent.

“What is it?” I wondered.

 

“It’s about Taecyeon.”

“What about Taecyeon?!” I reacted violently.

 

Before responding he checked the surroundings and answered in whisper, “Ms. Haneul ordered my men to find him and kill him immediately even before your wedding starts.”

“What?!” My eyes widened in shock.

“You need to hurry before they eliminate him.” He suggested his face full of worry.

 

“I don’t understand…”

“I know where Taecyeon is. I’ll take you to him. I’ll help you escape.” These words actually came out from Mr. Kim’s mouth.

 

He was about to hold my hand when I stopped him. “What about Jang Haneul?”

“She won’t know.” Mr. Kim grabbed the roses threw it and then grasped my hand rushing me out my room with other bodyguards hiding me from everyone in the mansion.

 

We hopped in the car and drove out the mansion.

During the ride, Mr. Kim –who was beside me- was panicking subtly, while I was not feeling anything. I don’t know why but… I just couldn’t feel any emotion right now. Like my heart turned to stone all of the sudden. However I could imagine what is happening to Taecyeon right now, covered with blood and lifeless lying on the ground.

 

I hope we’re not too late…

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

We were fast approaching where Taecyeon was, the same warehouse where Jin Ho was killed. It’s not a great view to see. The memories I left there weren’t something to be cherished or treasured.

 

“Ms. Yae Jin, are you ready? We will just drop you off. I can’t let anyone see me here. Don’t worry my men will keep you safe.” He said with much concern.

 

It was really the first time I saw him like this, so sincere. I don’t know how he got ‘converted’ but I’m happy he’s on my side now.                                                                                                 

 

The vehicle stopped and I raced out the car and in the old warehouse. I saw the ordered bodyguards laughing their hearts out in joy. The minute they saw me, they didn’t know what to do. I’m somehow their boss. With a displeased visage I asked them to leave.

 

“Taec?” I scanned the whole place. I soon landed on a bloody-Taecyeon, full of deep wounds and bruises. I sprinted towards him, falling right beside him.

He was wearing the same clothes early this morning…

 

If I didn’t leave him, I must have stopped this from happening.

 

A faint cough came out from his sore lips. I came back to my senses and rested his head on my lap.

With one snap I began grieving over him, my tears suddenly flowing from my eyes.

 

[I suggest you listen to this song by 2PM -Without U (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOPnO8bk7OU). It brings more emotion for this scene even if the lyrics are not really fit for the scene :P]

 

“Taecyeon~! Please don’t die… Please~! I need you so bad! I can't live without you!” I begged as I hugged him staining my white clothing even more.

 

“Yae Jin?” I heard his sweet whisper.

 

“Yes?”  I looked at him and saw his goofy smirk. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at me, “You look beautiful in that dress… I wish I could see you walk down the aisle, it--” he began coughing hard. “I’m sorry Taec. You’re suffering because of me. I’m really sorry.”

 

He gently closed his eyes and had no reaction.

[to be continued in next chapter]