Please Don't Go

featuring Ok Taecyeon (2PM) and Han Yae Jin (fictional)

 

            My body is freezing…

My soul is numb…

            I feel so lifeless…

I can’t breathe.

 

I’m falling and falling…

            Where am I? It’s so dark.

I’m still falling and falling, heading nowhere.

To oblivion perhaps?

To hell probably?

 

The air continues to sting me and I could feel my heartbeat slow down.

I-I can’t see a ray of light, not even a dot.

 

This seemingly endless darkness is depriving. I feel so hopeless, so lost, so lonely.

 

Help me…

 

“Ah!” I panted heavily as I rose up from bed. I forced my engorged eyes to scan my surroundings. I was in my room, sitting on my bed. Alone. Nobody coming in to greet me a ‘Good Morning!’

 

Yesterday’s event was still clear to me and unfortunately got stuck in my head, giving me a nightmare –if that’s what you could call it- last night.

I was like falling in the depths of darkness. And I kept on falling and my body felt heavy. Next thing I knew, I was bounded by light, yet still falling. However I felt enlightened. My condition was better compared to before.

            Afterwards I heard voices, serenely calling my name, “Yae Jin.” I followed the sweet and calm voice just to find out it was my mother, “How’s my Yae Jin?” seeing vividly her visage.

 

I called out to her, astounded by what I saw and became teary eyed all of the sudden.

She smiled at me, “Keep safe now,” was the last thing she said. I tried to reach out to her but she disappeared right before my eyes. 

 

My name echoed once more.

            I guessed that it was Jin Ho…

“I miss you.” It was a low and warm voice. My guess was right that it was Jin Ho.

 

My waiting tears broke out that moment, seeing him again in that dream.

I cried out his name. He just gave me a wink after and vanished.

I actually attempted to wipe the water from my eyes except I couldn’t move a muscle that time.

No one followed him though, but I began to fall faster and faster. I was scared, screaming my heart out. I still did not know where I was.

 

I soon stopped falling, I felt like I fell on someone’s arms… It was Taec’s arms I fell onto. He caught me… I noticed my dad stood beside him also smiling like Taec and he said, “Congratulations Yae Jin.” My dad helped me up and I was surprised to see myself in a wedding gown holding a bouquet of white roses. I looked back at Taec and saw his goofy grin. My lips were about to utter an ‘I love you.’ However everything started to become a blur. Taec and my dad faded in front of my eyes. And a mysterious tall guy appeared right before me. Then I woke up.

 

This dream I had makes me think if Taec is still alive. I pursed my lips in anxiety. I hope he’s not yet killed…

 

Even if he deceived me, my heart is still calling his name.

 

I gazed at the rays of the sun shining through the curtains of my windows. I’m locked up in this spacious room for who knows when.

 

My fingers traced gently on the surface of his mom’s bracelet. Will I ever see him again?

 

My stomach grumbled, sending me a message that it’s eating time. How am I suppose to eat when I’m lo—

“Oh~” I blurted out seeing my breakfast on a silver tray a few inches away from me. I slid it towards me and began eating.

 

I finished and the T.V.

 

I watched the news, hoping that I wouldn’t see Taec there…

Many reports have passed and still no news about kills or deaths.

 

That’s a relief.

 

I was about to turn off the television until I saw my picture being flashed on the screen…

 

“In today’s headlines, the Han Company and the Shim Enterprises are up for an arranged marriage.” The newscaster delivered, “Yae Jin of the Han Company has been arranged with Changmin of the Shim Enterprises to an out-of-the-blue wedding. The two big-time businesses aren’t experiencing any bankruptcy or any unfortunate event but they have decided to strengthen their loyal bonds through matrimony. It was announced through a press conference early this morning by Ms. Han-Jang Haneul. The wedding was set to happen next week and preparations are already being made…”

 

“What?!” I yelled at the television.

 

She’s fast. Too fast…

 

I saw this coming but I didn’t expect it to be soon.

 

She really wants the power and the cold hard cash.

 

She’s such a beast. 

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

 Look at me. I’m a wreck. Concealing my face with make-up doesn’t help.

 

“Ah!!!” I threw the lipstick I was applying at the mirror and broke it in-half, all out of rage.

 

Do I really have to look presentable in an engagement party? Why don’t I just show what I truly look like so people would know I’m living a hellish life with Jang Haneul?

 

I stared at myself in front of the mirror the whole time until I heard a knock on the door.

 

[Here’s how it looks like: (http://www.milanoo.com/upen/v/200907/One-Shoulder-Beaded-Sash-Taffeta-Bridesmaid-Dress-10846-1.jpg)

 

A bodyguard enters with something in hand. He walks to me and showed this ‘box’ which is very familiar to my sight. I opened it instantly and realized it was the Rolex watch I was suppose to give Taec.

 

“Ok Taecyeon wants me to give this back to you. He said, he did not deserve such gift from you, since he betrayed you Ms. Yae Jin.” This bodyguard aimlessly stated, he bowed and left afterwards with the watch still on my hands.

 

I gulped and released a grave sigh.

 

So, he’s telling the truth that he is a changed man? Maybe, he’s doing this to lure me and continue his interrupted plans.

 

Ugh~!

 

I don’t even know why I doubt him. He looks like a sincere person, like Jin Ho.

 

A part of me is saying that I do trust him and his words...

 

My thoughts were disrupted when the same bodyguard re-entered and called my attention, “Ms. Yae Jin, Ms. Haneul is waiting for you. She said, the party is about to begin.”

 

I gave him a hesitant nod and placed the box in my drawer while standing up. I checked my one-shoulder-beaded-sash blue taffeta dress one more time and allowed my sharp heels to make clicking sounds on the floor heading for the door. I was bordered by seven huge bodyguards, three on each side and one at the back.

Talk about strict security. Although on the bright side I get to go out of my room for once. I’m so sick of meals in bed, so sick of watching television and I was never in the mood to do paintings either.

 

It was too suffocating in there.

 

The party is held at the garden. Seeing it all over again brings back so many memories, of him… I attempted to smile at the guests but I just couldn’t do it. Why would I be happy in a forced marriage anyway?

 

Round silk-clothed tables and authentic chairs highlighted the green and freshly-cut grass. The huge lamp posts in the garden were lit and the fountain was opened, continuous water dancing out of its spouts. Merry, vibrant music is being played in the background and the whispers and the soft voices chatting harmoniously mixed along with it, adding to the zesty atmosphere. The scene did help take some load off my shoulders.

  

I reached the spot where the beast was conversing with the Shim’s. It’s still not dawning to me that I’ll be married in a few days…

 

“Oh, here’s Yae Jin.” Jang Haneul said out loud gesturing her hands at me like she wants to cuddle.

I was victorious to stretch my face muscles to shape a normal smile, “Hello, I’m Yae Jin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I politely made a ninety degree bow.

 

“Likewise.” Mr. and Mrs. Shim uttered in unison bobbing their heads in a formal manner. “Haneul, she’s so beautiful in person.” Mrs. Shim added sounding very astonished by my appearance.

I blushed a bit while saying my earnest, “Thank you.”

 

“She seems to be Changmin’s type right?” Jang Haneul assumed and took a sip of her champagne.

“Well, yes. I believe Changmin would like her.” Mr. Shim replied as he kept nodding his head and glancing at me.

I let my head hang low, not wanting all the attention right now.

 

“Where is Changmin? I think we should let them meet each other.” The beast suggested releasing an annoying giggle.

“Oh, right. We should.” Mr. Shim began calling him, “Changmin? Changmin? Come here.”

 

Changmin walked from my back -apparently the bodyguards gave way for him-, “Yes dad?”

I saw a tan, handsome, striking, tall man with almond-like eyes, he actually reminds me of the guy I saw in my dream…

 

First impression? He looks smart and he carries himself well and demands respect somehow. Although he still seems to have this childish side in him for he owns such a cute smile. One more thing, he doesn’t look Korean at all.      

  

“We would like you to meet, Han Yae Jin.” His mother gestured her hand to my direction gracefully. His eyes followed and landed on mine. It took him long before he responded, “Uh-hello. It’s nice to finally meet you.” I received quite a friendly bow from him and I returned it with a fair bow as well.

 

The beast butted in the ‘progressing’ moment, “It appears as if Changmin got struck by Yae Jin’s beauty.”

“I can’t deny that Aunty.” This handsome man came clean and shot all of us a meek smile while releasing short chuckles.

 

I couldn’t stop myself from blushing because of his confession.

 

“Oh by the way, is their wedding all planned out?” Mrs. Shim brought up with eagerness in her tone.

 

Jang Haneul placed back her empty champagne glass on a vacant tray being held by a waiter who just passed by and clasped her hands together responding confidently on that question, “Yes, I have everything prepared. You got nothing to worry about. All we need to do is, wait for the wedding day.” She stated, glancing at me from time to time rubbing it at my face.

 

Laughter crowded my ears, sending me a message that they are all ecstatic.

 

Too bad I’m not.

 

I would probably be crying that day. I already feel like mourning for myself right now. This is one situation I have no idea how to get out of. Someone please help me…

 

I went on observing my surroundings, –the party still lively as ever and guests coming to congratulate us- it came to my surprise Changmin was not joining the beast, Mr. and Mrs. Shim’s talk. He saw me looking at him and grinned. I suddenly gazed away because of panic. The next succeeding moments were awkward.

 

Changmin suddenly interrupted the business conversation – which I never bothered to squeeze in- they were having, “Mom, Dad, Aunty,” there was a short gap in his statement, “Could Yae Jin and I go someplace else to talk?”

Mr. and Mrs. Shim and the beast threw signals at each other’s eyes as if they were trying to communicate.

 

“Sure son.” His dad approved on their behalf.

“Can they not come?” Changmin was pertaining to my bodyguards.

 

Jang Haneul nodded and the seven large men moved away from me.

 

Changmin presented me his hand and I took it. He directed me to the isolated part of the garden where the most beautiful flowers were rooted.

 

“Please sit down.” He said.

 

I bobbed my head and sat releasing a sigh, “Free at last.”

 

“Yeah you were kind of dying back there.” The beloved son of the Shim Family actually joked. I answered him, “Thanks for noticing that.” He welcomed me and began walking around the small area.

 

“Nice dress.” He complimented. “Thanks. Why’d you bring me here anyway?” I innocently queried.

 

Changmin illegally picked a white flower in one of the bushes. He strode towards me and presented the flower, “I just wanted to get to know Han Yoo Jin’s daughter better.” I politely received it and he continued, “I only hear seldom about you. And the way you’re acting now, you seem so mysterious.”

 

I disagreed, “I’m not mysterious.”

 

“Then you’re hard to read.” He changed his mind.

 

“What do you mean?” I wondered.

  

“I can’t really tell if you’re finding my company comfortable. You seem kinda mad and irritated.” He articulated while fixing his gaze at me.

 

Before I could utter a word, “No, wait forget what I said. You’re just confused aren’t you?”

 

“You guessed it right.” I replied.

He gave me a reassuring smirk, “That’s what I’m feeling too.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You know, with this whole arranged marriage. I’m twenty-three years old for crying out loud! I’m not ready to settle things permanently.” He shared.

 

I laughed at his reaction. So both of us are in the same page aren’t we?

 

“If so, then why do you look so happy in front of your parents?” I continued the conversation with a question.

 

Changmin finally chose to sit beside me, “Simple. I don’t want them to get disappointed of course. I’ve been following their orders ever since I was sixteen…”

 

“Then maybe it’s time for you to cut the ‘leash.’ You’re old enough to decide for yourself.” I advised him as I played with the flower’s petals.  

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s hard to disobey them. I owe them so much.” Changmin calmly answered before he soughed.

 

I pursed my lips and stated, “I can’t argue with that.”

 

There was silence afterwards.

All of the sudden Changmin blurted out, “You know, I like you already.”

 

I stared at him with a shocked expression, “What?”

“But I believe that things won’t work out between us. Since I have this hunch you are already owned by someone else.”

 

I looked away and smiled at the grass, “Another lucky guess Changmin.”

We both laughed randomly.

 

“So who’s the guy who stole your heart Ms. Yae Jin?” he directly asked.

 

I was proud to tell him who, “His name is Ok Taecyeon.”

“Oh, that pro boxer?” he responded.

 

How come he knows that Taec’s a boxer and I didn’t at first?

Was I really late in updates?

 

“Yeah.” I nodded with a giggle.

 

I spontaneously narrated everything to him, how we met, up to how we got separated.

He was a very good listener, he seldom reacted but I knew he was taking in every single detail.

 

“Aunty didn’t like Taecyeon huh? That’s why she set you up with me instead?” he assumed again.

“Let’s put it that way.” I agreed.

 

Wow, is this person a fortune teller or what?

 

“Why you did not fight for your love?”

 

That question just slapped me right in the face.

 

Yes, how come I didn’t fight for our love?

 

I unconsciously crushed the white flower on my hands, “I was afraid.”

“Why?” his brows knotted.

I stuttered, “I-I-I just couldn’t.”

I was weak. I couldn’t stand up for myself. However if I did, Taec might have been dead by now.

 

My heart experienced a sting. It’s better than actually doing nothing. At least I was proud to say I did something, yet I would be the cause of Taecyeon’s death and I don’t want that.

“I’m sorry. I won’t ask anymore.” Changmin stopped the uneasy conversation.

 

“But you know, sometimes when you take risks, things turn out the way you want them to be.”

 

I protested at his idea, “What if things did not turn the way I wanted them to?”

 

He paused and laughed at my statement seeming like he didn’t have a sure answer, “Then I guess you have to try again…”

 

If I took that risk and Taecyeon got killed? What do I do then? I can’t try again.

 

Ugh!!!

 

I don’t know what to think anymore!

 

“My bad. I’m confusing you more. I’m truly sorry Yae Jin.” He tried to apologize after witnessing my sour face.

“It’s okay Changmin. Thanks for trying to help me. That means a lot.” I said, shooting him a convincing smile.

 

“No problem.” He smiled back.

 

Changmin got up and timidly stretched his arms, “We should get back at our party there’s only about half an hour left before it ends.” He suggested offering me his hand.

I bobbed my head and grabbed his warm hands.

 

We went back at the crowded part of the garden and sadly Jang Haneul was there ready to greet us.

 

“Welcome! Did you guys have a nice talk?” as soon as she finished the bodyguards ran back beside me.

“Yes, we did Aunty.” Changmin replied.

 

“Well, then I guess it’s time to introduce you two to everyone.” Mr. Shim uttered.

 

They both dragged us to a small stage –leaving behind the bodyguards- where the microphones were and called everyone’s attention.

 

“Excuse us. We would like all of you to meet the future newlyweds.”  The three of them said in unison.

 

Every single person applauded. I faked a smirk at each one of them. While my eyes scanned the whole area they halted at one very familiar silhouette.

 

“Taec?” I mouthed and immediately jumped down the stage and ran into the group.

I looked for him in the sea of people.

 

I hope it was him who I saw.

My heart began beating fast. The thumping was the only thing I could hear, nothing else.

 

Before I could search further two tough grips on my arms stopped me from moving, “Yah!” I revolted.

I was barricaded on my way to dream land and my imaginary earplugs were taken off and now I heed loud murmurs like they were in a commotion.

 

The beast appeared right in front of me, “What are you trying to do?” she whispered, her face shaking in anger.

“Running away from you!” I retorted, making sure I was heard by everyone.

The seven huge bodyguards isolated us from the confused crowd to avoid hearing our fiery argument.

“Shut your mouth Yae Jin! Don’t you start… do you want to embarrass yourself in front of all these elegant people?” she paused to roll her eyes at me, “You’re forgetting how to act like a Han!” Jang Haneul attempted to lecture me.

 

I budged, loosening the tight grip of these strong men.

“I don’t care if I humiliate myself! At least everybody would know how cruel you are!” I glared at her, “And since when did you learn how to act like a Han? Look at what you’re doing now. Han’s don’t do these kinds of things right? Shouting in front of guests?”

 

She was about to slap me but remembered the audience surrounding us, “We’ll continue this later.” She carefully drew back her hand and left.

 

“Let go!” I demanded, and they followed, escorting me back to the stage.

As soon as I got there Changmin rushed to me and asked if I was alright. I nodded at him which relieved his nerves.

 

The party went on and everyone acted as if nothing scandalous happened.

During the event I just sat in a vacant bench with the son of the Shim’s beside me keeping me company. It was really nice of him. However, I just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier, if it was Taec who I actually saw.

 

Maybe I’m beginning to be paranoid about him.

 

I hope he’s okay.

 

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

“You’re a disgrace!” Jang Haneul gave me a heavy slap, which caused me to fall down.

Changmin, who insisted to stay while his parents left early just after the party, helped me up, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes. Thanks. You better go Changmin.” I suggested while taking in a handful of air. “But—“he tried to refuse, however I cut his statement off, “Please leave, it’s for your own good and I beg you don’t tell this to your parents.” I whispered to him while keeping Jang Haneul in my sight.

 

“H-how about you?” he was full of concern.

 

I laughed with confidence, “I can handle this.”

 

Changmin did not let me go until after a few seconds, he sighed and said, “Alright. Just promise me nothing bad will happen to you.”

The words he wanted to hear slipped easily out my lips, “I promise.” although that was a lie, well I couldn’t guarantee it. I’m sure something unfortunate or horrible would happen to me and I prepared myself for it. He cautiously strode away from my spot and still had a respectful bow towards the beast.  He glanced back with worried eyes, one last time and disappeared into the night.

 

I asked him to leave because surprisingly I was ashamed to let him see our fight further. I know I wish for him to see the beast’s rudeness, yet I want to hide it from him.

 

Jang Haneul suddenly yanked my hair and dragged me to the patio. Small bruises covered some parts of my arms, when she pushed me down its rough pavement, “Ah!” I shouted as I lay flat on the ground.

“That’s for talking back Yae Jin!”

 

She slightly squatted in front of me and held me by the chin, “I pity you Yae Jin. You’ll look ugly on your wedding day, with scars and contusions.” She stood back up and took off one of her pumps, “I wonder how this would hurt your delicate painting hands?” My eyes aimed at the sharp tip of the heels, “Please, no.” I began to beg as weakness dominated my body.

“Oh, what’s that? Did I hear a please?” she scoffed and pursued, “Hmm. It’s too late for that. Say bye-bye to your paintings! ” She was about to damage my shaking hand when I heeded someone yelling, “Stop!”

 

Could it be? Could it be Taec?

Energy flushed throughout my veins, “Tae--”

The light in my eyes dimmed, when I was disappointed to see, not Taecyeon but Mr. Kim.

 

“She had enough Ms. Haneul.” Mr. Kim –the new rescuer- uttered strongly as if his boss wasn’t a terror to him.

Jang Haneul glared at her bodyguard, “What?!”

Mr. Kim took her shoe and told her that she needed to rest since she’ll have an early meeting with our stockholders tomorrow. 

 

The beast couldn’t decline and exited the scene irritated at his interruption. Mr. Kim bowed at me and left afterwards.

I slowly stood myself up, feeling stings on both arms.  

“Thank you.” I blurted out loud even if he wouldn’t hear me.

 

 

♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦~~~~~♦

 

 

Endless insults now bruises. Great, what would be the next thing she’ll do to me?

 

“Ouch!” I jerked. “Sorry Ms. Yae Jin,” my personal nurse apologized while re-cleaning the wounds and replacing them with new bandages. “It’s alright.”

 

“How did you get these anyway?” she sincerely asked. “I-I tripped at the patio.” I answered her with another lie.

She stopped applying the ointment to look at me, “Oh~ that must have been a nasty fall.” 

            “Tell me about it.” I giggled.

 

She’s been asking me so many questions about the wedding, about Jang Haneul, about the party the other night etc. And I’ve been replying lies at each one.  

 

We heard an abrupt knock on the door, “Come in.” I welcomed whoever it was.

 

“Hellow~!”

 

My nurse and I both got startled which brought us to hug each other. I gulped, “Uhm, I hate to be rude but who are you?” I stated in English seeming this stranger was foreign.

 

This woman gasped at me and introduced herself – also in English -, rather exasperatedly, “Why darling I’m Amanda!” she yelled while imaginary fireworks appeared behind her, “The best fashion designer in France! I have landed on this distant soil to attend to those people in need of my artistic aid.” She ended her ‘vain’ prologue with quite a weird pose.

 

My nurse let go and applauded in amazement, while I was left confused, “Huh?”

 

Before she answered me other women entered and elegantly stood beside her.

 

Her eyes widened, “Gosh my dear! You really don’t know who I am?” I moved my head from left to right as a reply.

She fell on her assistants arms and a sigh was released from her very red lips. 

“I’m sorry.” I attempted to apologize.

 

The assistants straightened her up and she pulled out her white handkerchief and began crying crocodile tears, “What did I do? Why am I not so popular here? Oh!” “That’s not true…” they tried to cheer their boss up with encouraging compliments.

[to be continued in next chapter]