( six )

Disturbances were at its peak in making him lost his mind. He swore he kept on dreaming – if not – hallucinating of that mysterious girl that seemed to appear so real. He clutched his hair as thoughts swept through and entered his mind aggravating him. “Ara.”, he suddenly voiced out unintentionally. Tears were at the brim of forming in his dark orbs. His body was trembling; he felt his arms twitch. “Why do I keep on having thoughts of someone I don’t know?” His hands dropped to clench each sides of the table, with his body slightly bent to it. Shaking his head off, he grabbed his towel and proceeded to the bathroom to go get some shower. “Maybe this would clear my thoughts off.” He muttered under his breath as his cold fingers grasped the faucet.

His night was almost sleepless for constantly waking up every single moment he dreamt of her. She was a little kid and she kept on calling him by his name. “Chan-Chan!”, the voice called. He turned to her; she stared for awhile and he noticed her bambi eyes. His eyes grew in amazement and he was surely mesmerized by them. Noticing his stares, she giggled and smiled at him then waved, indicating it's time for her to go.

(end of flashback)

---

The bell rang.

Chanyeol strode out of the room smoothly. He greeted some of his friends and new faces scattered in different parts of the campus but it didn’t stop him from going to that place his feet had dragged him to. He rode the bus alone, claiming that he was independent enough. Besides, he’s a grown-up. After a few stops, he went down. He dirtied off his clothes and kids started to run to his direction. “Woah. Woah. Woah.”, Chanyeol opened his mouth and spread his long arms. Several kids hang in there as if they were their monkey bars. He flexed his arm and raised them.

“You’re getting stronger hyung!”, one of them complimented.

“Of course.”, he brought them down and gave them food to eat. “Snacks?” This was Chanyeol’s daily routine. He’d go there to wind up and buy some time. He always did but he never knew why he was locked up to this kids. His eyes shifted to spot the seesaw. It made him want to go there. “Want to play?”, a little girl’s voice came out. He remembered something from the back of his mind – a memory too much of a blur for him to see. All he knew was that there was a girl, and there was him; they were together sharing their laughters and stories. She let out her palms and invited him to play.

“Hyung?”, one of the boys snapped a finger to call his attention. He shook his head and brushes off the thought. “Sure.”, he replied, vaguely recovering from the thought. The kids pulled his arms to the seesaw as they enjoyed playing with it. With that, he had assumed that maybe she wasn’t real; maybe she was just a dream.

The sky turned darker and soon the kids who played at the playground were fetched by their parents or guardians. “Bye.”, he waved at the little one. This made Chanyeol feel the urge to go home, but something that was etched in his mind and hindered him to. As he passed onto the slide, there was something he cannot prevent himself from looking at. Something he can’t tell. He’d encounter this feeling every time he went to the playground for no definite reason.

He looked at it, slowly sliding his fingers onto it that made him feel a sort of bliss.

---

He opened the main gate of their house. Cranky door advertised that someone from the family went in. It was the same gate ever since he was young and it was admittedly very old. There might be some tactics about opening the main door. The family members were allowed to open it because they were the ones who knew how to gain access in their humble abode.

Before opening the door that lead him to the living room, a note was stuck between the door and the wall. He brushed it off and looked at it. “Auntie?”, he shook his head. “Where’s she again?”, he set the note into the table as he took off his shoes and brought down his bag. Chanyeol opened the television and switched the channel into Sports. Dwelling into the kitchen, he switched on the lights and he swore it was one of the days when he was supposed to be home alone.

Chanyeol had stepped into a bottle and he remembered how his father was three years ago.

His mother disappeared when he was still a kid. She disappeared like a bubble – like a gust of wind. This turned his father into a drunkard and eventually gets mad with just about anything.

He flinched and he knew well that it was his father. Afterwards, a sound of a shattering glass was heard. Chanyeol shook his head and readied himself. He took off his shoes before entering. “Appa.”, “Where have you gone?! Didn’t I tell you to stay here?”, his father gripped his collar and pushed him to the wall.

“I don’t want you to go. You understand?”, it’s a grudge for him but he was used to it. He was used to live with him. He was the one who can understand his pain because apart from his son no one was his family. “You understand?”, his father reiterated.

Chanyeol nodded. But this was witnessed by Chanyeol’s aunt – his mother’s sister. “I’m sorry appa.”, he run to his aunt and embraced her legs as she announced to him that she’s taking Chanyeol with her. It was the last day he had talked with his father and it was also hard for him.

From that day on, he started living with his auntie. But living with his aunt was nothing different from living alone. She was always invisible and working late. However, the treatment he received and environment he grew up with was far better than that he used to live with during his stay with his father.

Despite Chanyeol's jolly attitude, he has a family problem. His mother left them for another man, making Chanyeol perceive Ara as a friend he can connect with because to begin with, she also doesn't have a mom.