Tears 

Three peaceful weeks went by and my baby Heejun was growing up so fast ~ 

Heejun had been learning Korean for the past few weeks, preparing him to go to school in almost one and a half years (when he's around 3) 

For three months I paid close attention to every single member of suju and their schedule. I guessed about what times they would be home and what times they wouldn't be home, so I could go out and shop for our place 

I hated being secretive the most but I really couldn't help it.  Not to mention I hated looking and acting like a freaking stalker!! 

I was taking Heejun to the book store today 

"Heejun ah lets go" I said 

"Okay mommy~" he sang in English 

We stepped out the door and I had realized I hadn't checked their schedule nor had I worn a mask or disguise of any sort 

I tried to hide my face with sunglasses and a scarf but Heejun ended up pulling them off 

I gave up in the end and picked Heejun up off the ground and went inside the elevator which soon became packed with fat old men and what not 

Heejun who doesn't like stuffy places, looked like he was about to cry 

"No no no no baby don’t cry please" I whispered turning around so that Heejun wouldn't be able to see the crowd of people, suddenly more people came on, squishing Heejun and I together. Wait. What did I just do? Oh my Shisus that was the stupidest thing I could’ve ever done!!

WHY ARE ELEVATORS ONLY THIS BIG? WHY CAN'T THEY BE BIGGER!!! I complained in my head 

I could even feel an old man trying to grab my

Oh hell no just got real 

Before I could even say anything someone came and stood in-between the erted old man and I. I swear I heard someone say , I sighed in relief 

Bless you whoever you are 

This person was almost a head taller than me and I could tell it was a guy just by his build, I felt his body press against my back, I knew I was blushing at the contact 

I couldn't see who it was but Heejun definitely could, despite Heejun’s hatred for strangers, he liked this one and started giggling

Many people left but the ert was still in the elevator and my savior hadn't left   

Heejun had been laughing at my saviors face; I'm assuming he's making a bunch of faces to make Jun feel better 

The elevator opened and just as I was about to turn around to say my thanks, he left and all I could see was his back 

It was familiar..... 

At the book store ~ 

I gathered about 30 different books for Heejun, he could speak Korean and English but he couldn't read it 

I'm not a really good mommy am I? Normally parents would be reading to their child every night even during pregnancy… but I was so busy looking for a job and a place to stay and what not, I could barely come home ever feeling refreshed. I never really read to heejun while I was pregnant… oh my what if hes unable to read??? No hes defiantly too young to have that kind of problem now!! Tae Hee concentrate on the present!!

Aigoo but still, I'm starting a bit too late aren't I?!! 

Sorry, a parent’s worry is always something related to their child's future 

~ Later that night 

I was reading to Jun a story about a little boy and his happy family 

"Umma I wanna be like Minhae, he has a daddy and a mommy and friends and pets" 

"H...” 

"I don't have a daddy" 

"I..." 

"I wanna meet daddy" 

"Why so suddenly?" 

"Evewywon knows their daddy but not me" 

I began to say something but Heejun began softly crying. It wasn’t tears of physical pain or 'I need a new diaper' kind of tears but tears that had a lot of meaning behind them. 

"Heejun" I whispered 

"Today, evewywhewe I looked, evewywone had a mommy and daddy and evewywone was happy" 

I picked Jun up in my hands and supported his body with my arms while resting his head on my shoulder/

"Jun, your appa, I'll let you meet him" I said 

Jun sopped crying and looked at me 

"But it won't be today or tomorrow maybe not this week but it will be someday" 

"Mommy" 

"Hmm?" 

"Does.. Does daddy not like me" Heejun said 

"No no no of course not!" I said 

"Daddy... Daddy told me, before he left, that he loved you" I said lying to him 

He doesn't even know Heejun exists. Mommy wants to meet him too but she's not allowed to. Mommy's heart is afraid of not being rejected but by seeing Jun get rejected 

After Heejun fell asleep I went out to our living room and sat down on the couch

"Tae Hee wake up before 7" Chaeri said sitting down beside me 

"Why seven" I complained 

"I thought you were going to pay me back by working with me starting tomorrow" she said 

"Oh yea" I said 

In the morning ~ 

"Jun-ah wake up~ we have to go somewhere" I said trying to wake up my sleeping son 

He began to cry for some reason

"Heejun what's wrong?" I asked picking him up 

He hugged my neck 

"Umma" he cried 

"I'm listening" 

"I had a dweam were appa didn't want us anymore" he said 

"Omo Jun! How could you say that?" I exclaimed 

He cried harder 

"Jun I told you, appa loves you" I lied 

Forgive me 

He hiccupped "he does" Heejun asked rubbing his eyes

"Yes, yes he does" I patted his back 

I dressed Heejun up and made breakfast for him and at seven o'clock sharp we got to Chaeri’s workplace 

S.M. Entertainment?? SME!!!!?? My eyes widened in shock 

"Starting today you’ll be a make-up artist" Chaeri said 

I just nodded my head, surprised 

! I wouldn’t have had a problem with this if only Heechul hadn't been back 

We entered the building and I had to meet the owner of the company.

Lee Soo Man. I knew who he was, thanks to Hangeng’s case about two years ago. We talked about working hours and payment and all, and I asked him if Heejun could work with me and he said yes, but he assigned me to super junior’s makeup team 

Dear lord just what have I gotten myself into?! 

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Pic spam for my lovely readers ^^

 omg oppa your face XD ur neice is cute ^^ 

 damn that be one prized shirt 

 guys its okay Kyu's either imagining ing Min or he had too much to drink last night 

 can i just say that i died ? Too cute Hae, Too god damned cute. u killed me 

 omg in Exo its Krisus - in suju its Shisus XD 

in reality Onew saw Chicken 

They call me fishie but i forget how to swim, teach me please XD 

Whenever oppa XD 

 shes just like 'yep im real' 

i hope so cuz that ill ive been doing XD