Krystal POV

'Krystal, are you bored?' 'Are you spacing out again?' 'Are you two-faced?' 'How is it like being Snsd's Jessica's sister?' 'She's so rude, but I guess she's just like her sister.' 'She looks just like Yoona.' 'I love it when Krystal smiles even though she's the second ice princess...'

It's always the same thing over and over again... At every single variety show, comments from fans or antis, and even in fanfiction in their view I'm always that kind of person. I'm always 'rude', 'cold', or even like a 'b*tch' in their view. I'm sick of it... I always try my best when I'm on TV and yet this is what I get. Sometimes, even when I don't feel well I try so hard to make the show fun. Even when I'm with my members I feel this way because of all those memories of those terrible moments. I don't even like to have this much attention and I didn't even choose to be an idol. In addition to that, I don't even feel what I have on my face these days. I try to smiled for the camera and look like I'm having fun, but it's so hard putting or even keeping that fake smile on. However, recently I've gotten really good at it. I even started practicing my fake personality on my members and they fell for it just like everyone else did. They all don't know how hard it is to be me; to be Krystal Jung. Everyday, I lie on my bed just like I am right now and think about this. Every time I think about this my heart hurts in way that I am not able to describe.  Sometimes I wish I was invisible. At other times I wished that every would leave me alone so I could hide myself from the world. 

"Krystal! Sulli! Luna! Amber! It's time for dinner," Victoria umma called us.

"Okay, I'm coming!" Luna and Amber shouted as I heard then rushing out of their rooms to eat food.

"Be right there!!!" Sulli yelled as I heard her slowly coming out of her room and then heading towards the kitchen.

It didn't take long for everyone else to settle at the dinner table and realize I was not there.

"Soojungie?!" Victoria called me again with a slight questioning voice.

For some reason I still didn't reply and continued to lie on my bed staring at the bunk bed above me. I didn't move an inch either. To tell you the truth, I wasn't really hungry and I didn't want to face everyone with that fake smile again. It hurt me when no