Thankfully, the semester was over that week.  I was pretty sure I failed most of my exams.  I didn’t care.  I hadn’t spoken to Kyung all week.  Correction, he’d ignored me all week.  I’d called and sent messages for a couple of days, but he’d ignored me, so I stopped.

            Now I was just miserable and pouty.  I kept hiding out in my room because I was also incredibly jealous of my happy coupled off friends.  I felt bad about Hyun Joong, too.  I explained to him that I was sorry and that I should have told him I had a boyfriend sooner, but I didn’t and now because of my stupidity, we couldn’t even be friends.  He’d called a few times, but I ignored him.  I wanted my Kyung back.  No one else.

            Now that we were on winter break, I could lie around feeling sorry for myself all day every day for the next couple of weeks.  Then I would have to go home for Christmas.  Christmas with my parents.  Christmas without Kyung.

            “Get out of bed, girlfriend.”  I lifted my head off my pillow just long enough to see it was Jordan standing in my doorway.  Her arms crossed over her chest.  “Now.  Let’s go.”

            “No way,” I whined flopping back onto my pillow.  “Go away, Zico’s girlfriend.”

            She giggled and came over to my bed.  She poked me in the cheek.  “Get up, I’m going to help you.”

            I tried to fight her, it wasn’t like she was Beki, but Jordan somehow got a lot stronger since the last time I tried to fight her.  Needless to say, I lost and found myself being dragged out of my dorm into the cold winter day.  “Where are we going?  It’s cold out,” I complained letting her yank me along the sidewalk by the arm.

            “Shh,” she hushed me.  “We’re going to the…place of which we are not allowed to speak.”  I planted my feet onto the cement.

            “I’m not going to the Block b dorm,” I replied, trying to step on her toes as she continued to pull on my arm.

            “Ah, but see, you are.  I’m going to talk to Kyung and try to make this better.”

           “He won’t talk to me,” I reminded her bitterly.  She took this as her opportunity to catch me off guard.  Linking my arm with hers, she continued our trek towards the subway.

            “Right, which is why I’m going.  I’m going to talk to him.  Soften him up.  Get him to see reason and then you will swoop in, apologize your heart out and figure out what it will take for him to forgive you.”

            I had a bad feeling it wasn’t going to work, but I was desperate enough to try anything and accept help from anyone.  I didn’t ask any questions as I let Jordan lead the way.

            We slipped around the side of the building and into the back entrance.  Tae Il was the one to answer the door.  He smiled warmly as he let us into the dorm.  “Where is everyone?” I asked, looking around the empty yet cluttered dorm as the three of us sat on the couch.  The TV was playing an unfamiliar music show.

            Tae Il shrugged.  “Out and about, you know.  Zico’s at the studio with Yu Kwon and Min Hyuck.  Jae Hyo is out with Amelia, isn’t he?”  I shrugged and looked to Jordan.  She nodded.

            “They went to the movies,” she answered.  She’d know better than me since I was holed up in my room.

            “Maknae is in his room playing video games,” Tae Il continued.  “Kyung is in his room and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.”  He laughed lightly, avoiding my eyes.

            “I’ll be back then,” Jordan said, clapping her hands and jumping up.  Tae Il asked me if I wanted something to drink after Jordan disappeared.  I shook my head.

            “Are you in on Jordan’s plan?” I asked, sitting back in the seat and studying my hands in my lap.

            “Yes.  She asked me to call her when the others left.  Kyung’s been in his room all the time lately.  Unless we have practice or some Block b responsibilities.”

            I looked up at him.  He looked a little uncomfortable, but he smiled and pushed his hat up farther on his head.  “Is he ok?”

            “He’s upset,” Tae Il answered carefully.  “He doesn’t talk about it much.  He told us what happened, but other than that, he doesn’t talk much.”

            “Don’t you and the others hate me now?”

            “Should we?”

            I nodded.  “I’m a .”

            Tae Il chuckled a little and shook his head.  “No, you’re not.  I think you just slipped up.  Temporary insanity or something.”  He got up and carefully came and sat on the cushion next to me.  “It must be hard, being an idol’s girlfriend.”

            “But I love Kyung,” I replied, resuming the inspection of my hands.

            “Everyone who’s ever laid eyes on you two know that, but I’m just saying that maybe for a second, you wondered what it would be like to be with someone who doesn’t have to stay away from you for days or weeks at a time.  How easy it would be to have a boyfriend you could be spontaneous with?  To have a boyfriend who can just go out whenever you want, without having to disguise himself first.”

            I could feel the tears burn my eyes as I looked at Tae Il’s profile.  “Maybe,” I agreed thoughtfully.  “But I love Kyung and it was stupid of me to think that way.  My feelings for Hyun Joong can’t be compared to the ones I have for Kyung.  Hyun Joong was just a friend.  I never should have let that kiss happen.”

            “Just the fact that you’re so distraught by this proves that.  Give Kyung time.  He’ll come to his senses.”  He patted my shoulder lightly.  “And don’t worry, Block b still likes you.  You’re still Kyung’s girlfriend to us.”

            “You guys are good friends,” I replied, forcing a smile for him.  For a moment, I tried to watch TV with him, but I couldn’t focus.  “Hey, you don’t mind if I go eavesdrop a little, do you?  I can’t wait.”

            Tae Il laughed and shook his head.  “No, go ahead.  If you stand on the side of the door where the hinges are, you can hear really well and hide.  So when the door opens, no one will see you,” he explained.

            I nodded with a small laugh.  “Good to know.”  Then I headed down the dark hall and leaned against the wall next to the door.  He was right, I could hear them perfectly.

            “Get a grip, Kyung,” Jordan sighed.  “You’ll never meet anyone who loves you as much as Maddie does.”

            “She kissed some other guy!  Or have you not been paying attention to anything that’s been going on or to our entire conversation up until now?” Kyung spat back sarcastically. 

            “You need to talk to her!  Let her explain.  You don’t know what was going on in her head.  You never even gave her a chance!”  Jordan’s voice was higher now.  She was getting aggravated.

            “Explain what?  That if I can’t be there for her every second of every day, she’s going to find someone who can?”

            “Wow, Kyung, I don’t remember you being such a douche back in high school.  You’re a smart guy and I know you don’t think that’s what happened with her.  Jerk.”

            He scoffed.  “Tell me why you’re here again?”

            Jordan huffed and then laughed.  “We’re friends.  All of us.  There’s no escaping, so when one of us has a problem, the others come stick our noses in.  You know that.”  She giggled again.  “Besides, you helped me with Ji Ho.  I kind of owe you.”

            “You want me to strip down to my boxers so Maddie can see us together and get jealous?” he retorted.  I could almost hear him smirking.

            She growled.  “I thought we agreed we’d never speak of that again.”

            He was laughing now.  “Alright, look, I appreciate you coming here to stick your nose in.  Like I tell the others who insist on trying to get me to talk about this, but I’m just really…”  He sighed.  “I’m so mad.”

            “At her?” Jordan asked quietly.

            “Mostly myself.”

            “She loves you just as much as she always had.  Remember that ok?”  Kyung didn’t reply.  “Don’t lie.  I know you still love her.”

            He hesitated long enough to make my stomach flip.  “That’s most of why I’m so mad.”  Jordan didn’t say anything.

            This is ridiculous.  I wished he would just let me talk to him, but I couldn’t blame him.  I’d be pretty upset if the roles were reversed.  I almost cried thinking about that.  The roles would never be reversed.  Kyung would have never done this to me.

            I didn’t want to hear anymore.  I ran back into the living room.  Tae Il looked at me, but before I could say anything Jordan came back into the room.  She flopped down next to me and sighed.  She narrowed her eyes at me.

            “He’s one stubborn son of a-”

            “Jordan,” I sighed.  “Thank you for trying.”

            “I’m not giving up.  The guys have been trying to get him to talk, too.  I’m going to talk to Ji Ho.  I’ll have him stop giving him parts in songs or something,” she replied.

            “That could be effective,” Tae Il agreed.

            I smiled.  “Let’s just go now, ok?  Don’t bother anymore.  He’s never going to forgive me.  He doesn’t care.”  I know he told Jordan he still loved me, but he doesn’t want to.  I needed to accept that.  My eyes stung all over again.  Jordan stood slowly, but just as we were about to head for the door, Tae Il jumped up, too.

            “Actually, I think I have an idea.  Could you stick around for a minute?”  Jordan plopped back down onto the sofa.  I nodded.  “Maddie, do you mind?  Come here.”  I walked over and stood next to him.  He smiled a little apologetically before dropping an arm lightly around my shoulders.  “I think I know Kyung well enough to know this might work.”

            Speechless, I just nodded. 

            “Yah!  Ji Hoon, Kyung, I’m going out!  I’ll see you later!” Tae Il shouted down the hallway.  Kyung called back a muffled ‘ok hyung’ and a second later, Ji Hoon’s deep voice came from his room.

            “Hyung!  Where are you going?”

            Tae Il smiled and nodded at me.  “Good, curious, little maknae,” he whispered.  Then shouting back down the hall, he replied, “Maddie and I are going out!  We don’t know where yet!  See you later!”  Jordan bolted upright in her seat, now fully interested in the situation unraveling before us.

            My eyes widened, but Tae Il motioned for me to wait.  Ji Hoon came bounding out of his room and down the hallway to where we stood.  His face held nothing but shock.  His eyes wide and looked even bigger behind his black rimmed glasses.

            “Maddie?!” Ji Hoon gasped.  Looking to me, he smiled and bowed lightly.  “Hi, Noona.”  Turning back to Tae Il, his face regained its look of horror.  “Hyung, you’re going out with-”

            The click of a bedroom door opening reached our ears.  Tae Il looked to Ji Hoon and held a finger up to his lips, silencing him.  “Yeah, bye maknae,” he said loudly.  Tae Il then  peered around Ji Hoon to where Kyung was peeking out of his bedroom.  “Later, Kyung!”

            Kyung looked mad as he threw open the bedroom door and came out of his room, stopping in the entrance to the hallway.  Tae Il paused a second and then taking his arm off my shoulders, crossed them over his chest.  “What’s wrong, Kyung?” he asked with mock curiosity.

            “You’re taking Maddie out?” he asked after a moment.

            “What’s wrong, Kyung?” Tae Il repeated.  “Are you mad?  Does it bother you to think of Maddie going out with someone else?”

            Kyung puffed out his chest as he in a deep breath.  “No, hyung.  She can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants.”

            “Oh, really?  You’re grinding your teeth,” Tae Il mentioned.  “I think you’re mad.”

            Kyung glared at the older member before shrugging indifferently.  “Yeah, hyung, I’m pissed, but don’t mind me.”  He then turned and stomped back to his room, slamming the door so hard, it felt like the whole room shook.

            Tae Il turned to me, smirking.  “He doesn’t care, you say?”

           Jordan was now standing next to me, gaped open.  I looked to her and she shoved me hard.  “Go, you foolish girl!” she hissed at me, shoving me again in the direction of Kyung’s room.  “This is the perfect chance for you to try talking to him!”

            I opened my mouth to argue, but she inched forward, glaring and ready to push me again.  What the…she needs to stop hanging out with Beki so much.

            As I was shuffling toward Kyung’s room, I heard Ji Hoon chuckle and say, “Hey, hyung, that was pretty smart.”

            With a deep breath, I stared at his door for a second.  I knocked softly and opened it an inch.  Peeking in, I saw Kyung lying on his bed with his arms folded under his head, staring up at the ceiling.  Music was playing softly from his computer.

            “Kyung, can I come in?  I want to talk to you,” I said, pushing the door open a little more, but I didn’t step in.

            His eyes flicked over to me, but he barely moved and didn’t say anything for a second.  “It’s impolite to keep your date waiting,” he muttered.

            I sighed.  “Come on.  You know Tae Il didn’t ask me out.  I don’t want to go out with anyone anyway,” I replied, creeping over the threshold.

            He said nothing.

            “I want to come in to talk to you.  If you really hate me and want me to leave, say something, but if you stay silent, I’m coming in,” I told him as I pushed the door open all the way and stepped in completely. 

            Kyung remained silent, but still refused to look at me.  I shut the door, now alone inside his room with him.  Alone with him.