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            The guys came over to our dorm later that night.  And by ‘guys’ I meant Jae Hyo, Ji Ho, and Yu Kwon.  Kyung stayed at the boys’ dorm with the others.

            “You guys did great,” I complimented as they flopped down, exhausted, on the couch with their respective girlfriends.  I began creeping towards my bedroom.  I swallowed a sigh.  If these dudes were staying the night, I’d rather sleep on the couch.  Or in the bathroom.  Or on the street corner.

            They thanked me and I was about to say goodnight, but something popped into my head.  Something that was going to eat at me and make me so crazy with curiosity, I’d never sleep again.

            “So I know why you guys so cleverly avoided lip locking with your A Pink partners, especially you, Yu Kwon,” I began, hoping a little comic relief would make this all seem more casual than I felt it was.  My heart was pounding in my ears.  Depending on the answer, I could be holding onto hope rationally.

            “If Beki’s happy, I’m not in pain,” Yu Kwon explained with a smile.  Beki elbowed him in the ribs.  He pulled his legs up to his chest and pouted.  “That was a good boyfriend answer, why must you be mean to me?”

            “I’m not that bad,” Beki grumbled.  She glared back at the looks she was receiving from the others.  “Ok, I am, but it’s only because you’re my favorite boyfriend.”

            “Compared to all her other boyfriends,” Ji Ho muttered, receiving a slight shove from his own girlfriend and chuckles from Jae Hyo and Amelia.

            “Yes, all sorts of adorable,” I continued, bringing the attention back to me.  “But what about Kyung?” I wondered.  I leaned against the opening to the hall that lead to my bedroom.  “Did he say anything?  I mean, Bo Mi is so cute and he…”  I shrugged, as though I had nothing left to say.

            “He said he didn’t like vanilla Pepero,” Ji Ho reminded me.

            I rolled my eyes.  “It’s his favorite.  We all know that.”

            “Then it must have been something else,” he replied, cryptically.

            “Like,” I stated flatly, crossing my arms over my chest.  No longer caring about being casual or indifferent or hiding my feelings of hope.  I eyed each guy.

            “Like just because he’s furious with you doesn’t mean he wants to go around kissing other girls.  Like just because he has the opportunity to kiss a pretty girl from an idol group doesn’t mean he wants to.  Just because he won’t speak to you or see you doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love you and, my personal favorite, just because he needs a little more time to figure things out in his own head doesn’t mean he doesn’t mumble your name in his sleep every night!” Jae Hyo erupted, throwing his hands up in a gesture of exasperation.  He leaned back against the couch, one arm draped over Amelia’s shoulders.  “Damn!”

            I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully.

            “Hmm, yup, that about covers it.  What do you think, Ji Ho?” Yu Kwon asked.

            “Furious…doesn’t want to kiss other girls…not speaking…calls for you…” Ji Ho mumbled to himself, ticking off the reasons on his fingers.  Looking at me, he grinned.  “Nope, that’s it.”

            Beki, Jordan, and Amelia smiled at me as I remained silent. 

            “Um, so, goodnight then,” I finally said turning and hurrying to my room.

            I lay in bed for however long, holding my cell phone to my chest.  Deep down, I was hoping for a text from him.  Actually, I was hoping for him to show up at my door, telling me he loved me and he forgives me, but since I knew that wasn’t going to happen, I settled for hoping for a message.  When I got nothing, I began creating my own message to send him.  Different lines ran through my head, but all sounded wrong.  Desperate.  Lame.  I kept coming back to the same message though.  Typing it, deleting it, retyping it, deleting it, throwing my phone across the room, crawling behind Jordan’s bed to retrieve it.

            You lied to your fans, you love vanilla Pepero.

            When I didn’t get a reply .37 seconds later, I got mad.  I curled into the fetal position, muttering angrily to myself, and poked the screen of my phone as I cursed it right up until the second my brain had enough of my craziness and shut down.

            I was jolted awake a few minutes later when my phone vibrated loudly against my face.  Wiping the drool, I squinted blindly at the screen. 

            1 new message: Kyungie

            I swallowed hard, but my heart remained in my esophagus.  It only dislodged when I unlocked my phone and read his message.  I thought about replying for only a second until I realized that I would probably just ruin the moment.  When I closed my eyes this time to sleep, I put my phone on my night table and stretched out.

            I’d rather lie than play the Pepero game with someone I’d never want to kiss anyway.

            A few days before Christmas, us girls said goodbye for the two weeks we’d be apart, home for the holidays for some quality family time, I still hadn’t heard anything more from Kyung.  I thought about giving Zico my gift for Kyung so he could give it to him, but I decided against it.  I didn’t want to press my luck or kill our merry mood as all of Block b and the four of us girls sat around our dorm before our parents arrived to pick us up to take us home.  We exchanged presents and had a fabulous Christmas-y time.

            No one mentioned Kyung right away until our Christmas music playlist ended and started on a new, random one.  The first song was one that began with a witty rap done by none other than our missing Kyung.

            Min Hyuck snorted as Tae Il began folding the wrapping paper from his last gift into a sharp square.  I looked from them to the others, oddly.

            Zico looked uncomfortable.  Jae Hyo took the necklace out of Amelia’s hands as she struggled to work the clasp and put it on for her.  The others just looked plain nervous.  Tae Il cleared his throat.  But Min Hyuck was the one to break the heavy silence.

            “Not cool,” he muttered under his breath.  “He thinks it’s ok to bail on us because he’s too caught up in his own crap to spend time with his friends.”

            “Min Hyuck, it’s fine,” I said gently.

            “No, it’s not.  You’ve apologized and you’ve given him time.  He’s scared?  Love is supposed to be scary.  You can’t just avoid it and hope it gets easier,” he replied irately.  He jumped up and gathered his presents, shoving them into his backpack.  “I’ll see you guys later.  Have a nice trip home, girls.”

            “Min Hyuck,” Tae Il called in a sigh to him as the slightly younger man made a bee line for the door.  Min Hyuck turned and smiled apologetically at him.

            “See you later.”

            And he hurried out the door.

            “He just doesn’t like when things aren’t smooth,” Ji Hoon commented.

            “I want to set him up with a girl I met last semester.  She’s super sweet and he’s too awesome not to have a girlfriend,” Jordan said with a cute smile as she snuggled into the hoodie Ji Ho had gotten her.  It said Zico is my Bias on the front.

            I laughed with the others.  I appreciated Min Hyuck’s brotherly attitude toward all of us and even though I agreed with him that Kyung was taking too long, I felt slightly guilty that I was kind of the reason things weren’t smooth.

            Christmas was simple for me.  We had to go to some long, drawn out, fancy dinner with some other important embassy people that I cared little for then at home, we opened presents and watched a movie together.  I finally decided I’d been lovely and personable enough to earn myself a little bitter mope time in my room alone.  I excused myself, saying I was tired, and went to my room.  The look my mom gave me as I made my way to the stairs told me she knew I was weakening.  I’d talked to her on the phone a few days ago about what had happened.  Kyung, Hyun Joong, me.  A nice, long mother daughter chat.

            Which meant she knew I didn’t want to talk about it ever again.

            Ten minutes later, I was in my pajamas lying face first on the hardwood floor of my bedroom, presents and boxes scattered all over around me, clutching my cell phone in my hand.  Sometime later, there was a knock at my door.  Cheek still pressed to the cool floor, my eyes shot to the door to see a sideways view of my mom, leaning against the doorway with this smug look on her face.

            “Hi, Mom,” I said, still using my earned mope time.

            “Honey,” she greeted me.  “Thank you for the presents you got us.  You picked out wonderful gifts.”

            “I’m glad,” I forced a smile.  “Thanks for my presents, too.  They’re great.”

            “Are you alright?” she asked after a moment.  I nodded, no longer looking at her.  “It’s Christmas, you should be happy.  Merry.  In the spirit and whatnot.”

            I nodded.  “I was.  I was friendly at the dinner and I was chatty with you and dad downstairs, wasn’t I?”

            She nodded back.  “You were.”

            “Well then, now I’m done.  I’m alone in my room.  Now, I can be antisocial and mopey,” I replied.

            “And you’re doing it well,” she chuckled.  “But I have something that I think may cheer you up.”  I looked at her, suspiciously, from my spot still flat on the floor.  “You have a visitor.”  I let my face squish more into the floor and groaned deep in my throat.  I loved my girl friends, but I just wasn’t in the mood.  “A boy, Hyun Joong.  He’s downstairs.  He says he really wants to see you.”