Chapter 29
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
Eunhyuk still listened to him attentively, but without really seeming like wanting to interrupt him or reply to what he said.
- “From what Donghae had told me”, Dr. Cho KH continued, “the boy in question was most probably a high school student. Leafing through the yearbook, I found the phone number to the nearest school from the center where Donghae had spent his teenage life. Strangely, the name seemed familiar. I tried to remember why, rummaging in my memory, and I finally realized that for once, luck wasn’t totally against us as one of my good friends had actually been fairly recently transferred to this school to be guidance counselor. We met at seminar, where an excellent priest had both given us desire to help souls with a more prosaic and efficient way than religion. Anyway, I directly called him, thinking he might get information more discreetly than me. When I asked him if he by chance knew a high school student who could have some sort of connection with the center, he easily answered me to my greatest surprise.”
- “Yeah, we have a young student who had to go to this center for a few weeks as a volunteer, express punishment from the headmaster. I’ve had a few talks with him already; he’s in last year, class 3 and his name’s Lee Eunhyuk, but why ...”
- “That’s him!” I shouted on the verge of hysteria, too happy to finally have something. “That’s him! How is he?”
- “Uh ... wait, I’ll get a look at his record. So... A rather mediocre education, discipline problems... Until around early June. His results greatly improved afterwards. Ah of course, he even participated to the Math Olympiads and arrived in the first fifties. Everyone talked about it here. But lately ... he seems to setback. I'm sure he has family problems. When you look at his records, you see that his tuition comes from his mother’s account. There’s a good chance that his father’s unemployed or doing casual jobs.”
- “Hum ...”
- “The information that seemed the most interesting was the one about Math Olympiads; it probably was the contest Donghae had mentioned. In addition, the dexterity of the explanation that I already had more than seen in him was probably due to the amazing progress of the student that my friend Siwon was inspecting the record.”
- “But why do you care about him?” He asked. “He came to see you for a consultation?”
- “I'll explain everything in detail when I’ll entirety have reconstructed the story. Do you think he’s mature enough to truly be in love?” I asked him straight to the point.
- “Uh ... It’s a weird thing you’re asking me there. He rather looks like the type to wander at night and take what comes, if you know what I mean ... But ... he once told me that he was scared of hurting his girlfriend for their first time. It’s true that he had seemed quite delicate at the moment, so I took things as a joke to make him relax.”
- “From what Donghae had told me”, Dr. Cho KH continued, “the boy in question was most probably a high school student. Leafing through the yearbook, I found the phone number to the nearest school from the center where Donghae had spent his teenage life. Strangely, the name seemed familiar. I tried to remember why, rummaging in my memory, and I finally realized that for once, luck wasn’t totally against us as one of my good friends had actually been fairly recently transferred to this school to be guidance counselor. We met at seminar, where an excellent priest had both given us desire to help souls with a more prosaic and efficient way than religion. Anyway, I directly called him, thinking he might get information more discreetly than me. When I asked him if he by chance knew a high school student who could have some sort of connection with the center, he easily answered me to my greatest surprise.”
- “Yeah, we have a young student who had to go to this center for a few weeks as a volunteer, express punishment from the headmaster. I’ve had a few talks with him already; he’s in last year, class 3 and his name’s Lee Eunhyuk, but why ...”
- “That’s him!” I shouted on the verge of hysteria, too happy to finally have something. “That’s him! How is he?”
- “Uh ... wait, I’ll get a look at his record. So... A rather mediocre education, discipline problems... Until around early June. His results greatly improved afterwards. Ah of course, he even participated to the Math Olympiads and arrived in the first fifties. Everyone talked about it here. But lately ... he seems to setback. I'm sure he has family problems. When you look at his records, you see that his tuition comes from his mother’s account. There’s a good chance that his father’s unemployed or doing casual jobs.”
- “Hum ...”
- “The information that seemed the most interesting was the one about Math Olympiads; it probably was the contest Donghae had mentioned. In addition, the dexterity of the explanation that I already had more than seen in him was probably due to the amazing progress of the student that my friend Siwon was inspecting the record.”
- “But why do you care about him?” He asked. “He came to see you for a consultation?”
- “I'll explain everything in detail when I’ll entirety have reconstructed the story. Do you think he’s mature enough to truly be in love?” I asked him straight to the point.
- “Uh ... It’s a weird thing you’re asking me there. He rather looks like the type to wander at night and take what comes, if you know what I mean ... But ... he once told me that he was scared of hurting his girlfriend for their first time. It’s true that he had seemed quite delicate at the moment, so I took things as a joke to make him relax.”
- “This conversation reassured me. Eunhyuk really existed, he was a young man about Donghae’s age, rather normal without seeming to be idiot, and who had apparently not forced him into anything. It was the most important point to clarify for me. I was afraid there might be a dark side to all this, a bit erse, a weird and unhealthy attachment. I didn’t even ask any more questions to my friend concerning a relationship he could have had with a patient from the center nearby, although he would probably have been able to directly tell me what I had just heard by doing some research on the Internet, which was, if he was the one who had asked permission to school to make Donghae compete in the Olympiads, who had then obtained the first place.
Hearing this really important news, light began to spread in my mind. Winning first prize in such a prestigious competition should have made a lot of noise in the medical field, or I’d never heard of it. And moreover, it was just after this event that Donghae’s transfer had suddenly been decided. Someone wanted him to remain anonymous. But who I wondered? The doctors who were in charge of him would rather better have highlighted this success to increase their reputation. Journalists could have written interesting articles from this unique story, so why no newspapers had mentioned anything, even a few lines? If all this wasn’t perhaps thrilling for all Korea, it should normally have appeared in the columns of small local newspapers. I continued to do researches on these math Olympiads. Apparently, the level was very high, enough to be used as an excellent recommendation in all our most prestigious universities. I hardly believed my eyes when I saw that Donghae had got, through his first place, the green light to enter Bae Kae Lee!”
Hearing this really important news, light began to spread in my mind. Winning first prize in such a prestigious competition should have made a lot of noise in the medical field, or I’d never heard of it. And moreover, it was just after this event that Donghae’s transfer had suddenly been decided. Someone wanted him to remain anonymous. But who I wondered? The doctors who were in charge of him would rather better have highlighted this success to increase their reputation. Journalists could have written interesting articles from this unique story, so why no newspapers had mentioned anything, even a few lines? If all this wasn’t perhaps thrilling for all Korea, it should normally have appeared in the columns of small local newspapers. I continued to do researches on these math Olympiads. Apparently, the level was very high, enough to be used as an excellent recommendation in all our most prestigious universities. I hardly believed my eyes when I saw that Donghae had got, through his first place, the green light to enter Bae Kae Lee!”
-“But heck”, I wondered, “What is he doing here, instead of entering a university matching his mind and his mathematical genius? It’s almost crazy to miss such an opportunity when his record clearly showed that he was on the way of social reintegration!”
-“I then realized that someone had put his own interest ahead of Donghae’s, someone who had enough power to have a reputation to protect to the price of this poor boy’s future, someone who had all power on him to decide where he should go, that is to say, a right of guardianship. I suddenly understood the false names. It was most probably Donghae’s parents who had operated behind the scenes! That’s why they never came to visit him, never called to take news...
Shuddering with compassion for my poor patient, and with fear of what I would discover, I decided to directly look at the maternity ward where he was born, to know who Donghae’s biological parents were. He was probably born without visible signs of his pathology, so his parents had probably not tried to hide their blood tied at that time. I must say that despite my past as a doctor and my relationships, it was really hard for me to have access to the clinic’s records. I can only imagine the months of researches it would have taken for a civil ... But the result was worth every hour of procedures. Again, I couldn’t believe what I discovered. Donghae’s so obscure case suddenly cleared up, while falling deeper into the abyss of despair in my eyes. Would you believe it? Donghae’s father was none other than Lee Hyunjin, our Minister of Justice, and heir of a considerable fortune.”
The news did not seem to cause more shock than this to Eunhyuk , who was all bent and held up by the handcuffs on his little iron chair. He plunged his eyes, whose eyelids were still a bit purple and swollen, in Dr. Cho’s, as if to say “What do I care, I who thought that Donghae was dead, who still believes it despite what you’re saying? What’s more important other than that, what can be so huge and inconceivable than this death? He could be the son of Moses himself that you would not be able to move anything inside me, me whose heart has become as hard as marble when I saw him, so small into this big coffin.”
- “While I was doing all these amazing discoveries”, the psychiatrist said, “Donghae only seemed to care about his friend who missed him terribly. He thought about him all day long. He didn’t even like doing math anymore, didn’t have any more strength to express what he didn’t like with his fits. He let himself do like a little cloth puppet. He didn’t want anything anymore; it hurt me to see him like this. As if you were seeing him go away, farther and farther, on a road that leads nowhere. I even asked some nurses to bother him on purpose so it would force him to react a little, but he didn’t even protest anymore. We were losing him.
That’s why, when I heard from a secretary that a young man, whom I guessed to be Eunhyuk, had insistently wanted to know if Donghae was in our hospital, calling repeatedly without she betrayed the medical confidentiality to specifically ask for this patient, I made up my mind to set up a crazy scheme.”
Shuddering with compassion for my poor patient, and with fear of what I would discover, I decided to directly look at the maternity ward where he was born, to know who Donghae’s biological parents were. He was probably born without visible signs of his pathology, so his parents had probably not tried to hide their blood tied at that time. I must say that despite my past as a doctor and my relationships, it was really hard for me to have access to the clinic’s records. I can only imagine the months of researches it would have taken for a civil ... But the result was worth every hour of procedures. Again, I couldn’t believe what I discovered. Donghae’s so obscure case suddenly cleared up, while falling deeper into the abyss of despair in my eyes. Would you believe it? Donghae’s father was none other than Lee Hyunjin, our Minister of Justice, and heir of a considerable fortune.”
The news did not seem to cause more shock than this to Eunhyuk , who was all bent and held up by the handcuffs on his little iron chair. He plunged his eyes, whose eyelids were still a bit purple and swollen, in Dr. Cho’s, as if to say “What do I care, I who thought that Donghae was dead, who still believes it despite what you’re saying? What’s more important other than that, what can be so huge and inconceivable than this death? He could be the son of Moses himself that you would not be able to move anything inside me, me whose heart has become as hard as marble when I saw him, so small into this big coffin.”
- “While I was doing all these amazing discoveries”, the psychiatrist said, “Donghae only seemed to care about his friend who missed him terribly. He thought about him all day long. He didn’t even like doing math anymore, didn’t have any more strength to express what he didn’t like with his fits. He let himself do like a little cloth puppet. He didn’t want anything anymore; it hurt me to see him like this. As if you were seeing him go away, farther and farther, on a road that leads nowhere. I even asked some nurses to bother him on purpose so it would force him to react a little, but he didn’t even protest anymore. We were losing him.
That’s why, when I heard from a secretary that a young man, whom I guessed to be Eunhyuk, had insistently wanted to know if Donghae was in our hospital, calling repeatedly without she betrayed the medical confidentiality to specifically ask for this patient, I made up my mind to set up a crazy scheme.”
***
There was not much time left. Policemen had come to knock on the tile of the small interrogation room to inform the doctor that he had to hurry, because he had already spent almost two hours with the prisoner. Dr. Cho, completely caught into his passionate story, jumped. Eunhyuk did not say anything, and barely glanced at the door. He clung to the psychiatrist’s words without even knowing if he believed them or not, as if nothing else mattered anymore. The latter rapidly explained, the words overlapping in his mouth, that Donghae's father was in such a position of power that he would never have found any ally to openly fight beside him.
- “I didn’t know what to do. I saw no way out, and yet I knew that by not doing anything, I condemned Donghae. In a month, a year, he would eventually end up completely consumed without I’d be able to heal his pain I now knew the cause. This fear, horribly realistic unfortunately, gave me an idea. Since his life embarrassed his father this much, why not make people believe in his death?”
Eunhyuk’s eyebrows made a strange movement. All this seemed totally incredible to him, and yet, even as pure fiction, everything the doctor told him seemed really important. He could not believe Donghae was not dead, and yet, he wanted to know the scenario in which he could wish he was alive.
- “I exposed my idea to Donghae. By making people believe he was dead, he would lose his current civil identity but would gain freedom since, in any case, under his name, he was doomed to eternal minority. I told him I was ready to get the necessary chemical agent, to report his death, to attend the funeral arrangements, and even to make people believe that science wanted to get his brilliant brain to study it, so that the interment would take place several hours after the religious ceremony and that we would have enough time to replace his body during the false extraction with the equivalent of stones or whatever. But it was only a mere proposal, only Donghae could make the decision to accept my plan or not in the end. He was intelligent enough to understand what all this implied.”
- “Doctor, it’s about time for you to think about going now”, a potbellied policeman came to interrupt him without warning and who was holding the keys of Eunhyuk’s handcuffs to him back into his cell.
- “But Hell, what do you think?!” The doctor got mad as he sharply turned around, still passionate about his incredible story, and under the young prisoner’s surprised look. “That you can establish a diagnosis just like this, in a snap of a finger? A therapy takes years sir, years! You think that I can judge about the subject’s mental state in two hours only; well I can’t sir, I’m not Madame Irma, I can’t read this in tea leaves. These things require a lot of subtlety, patience, and time. You wouldn’t want me to send a saint man to asylum, or release a dangerous psychopath, isn’t it? So don’t you dare come and interrupt us again!”
- “I didn’t know what to do. I saw no way out, and yet I knew that by not doing anything, I condemned Donghae. In a month, a year, he would eventually end up completely consumed without I’d be able to heal his pain I now knew the cause. This fear, horribly realistic unfortunately, gave me an idea. Since his life embarrassed his father this much, why not make people believe in his death?”
Eunhyuk’s eyebrows made a strange movement. All this seemed totally incredible to him, and yet, even as pure fiction, everything the doctor told him seemed really important. He could not believe Donghae was not dead, and yet, he wanted to know the scenario in which he could wish he was alive.
- “I exposed my idea to Donghae. By making people believe he was dead, he would lose his current civil identity but would gain freedom since, in any case, under his name, he was doomed to eternal minority. I told him I was ready to get the necessary chemical agent, to report his death, to attend the funeral arrangements, and even to make people believe that science wanted to get his brilliant brain to study it, so that the interment would take place several hours after the religious ceremony and that we would have enough time to replace his body during the false extraction with the equivalent of stones or whatever. But it was only a mere proposal, only Donghae could make the decision to accept my plan or not in the end. He was intelligent enough to understand what all this implied.”
- “Doctor, it’s about time for you to think about going now”, a potbellied policeman came to interrupt him without warning and who was holding the keys of Eunhyuk’s handcuffs to him back into his cell.
- “But Hell, what do you think?!” The doctor got mad as he sharply turned around, still passionate about his incredible story, and under the young prisoner’s surprised look. “That you can establish a diagnosis just like this, in a snap of a finger? A therapy takes years sir, years! You think that I can judge about the subject’s mental state in two hours only; well I can’t sir, I’m not Madame Irma, I can’t read this in tea leaves. These things require a lot of subtlety, patience, and time. You wouldn’t want me to send a saint man to asylum, or release a dangerous psychopath, isn’t it? So don’t you dare come and interrupt us again!”
The policeman chose to retreat without further ado in front of such a passionate practitioner of his art.
- “Well then, you knock on the tile when you're done, huh?” He grumbled, fading behind the door.
- “Of course I will. I’d like to continue my work in peace now, if possible.”
He continued once the policeman was gone:
- “I thought it would be difficult for Donghae to accept such a subterfuge because of the fear the chemicals inhalation and the confinement in a coffin could cause him, he who’s afraid when he simply has to take a shower or use a fork. But he merely asked me: “If I do all this, will I be able to see Eunhyuk after?” I told him that what was sure, was that his chances to see his friend were near zero if we didn’t do anything, but that I couldn’t guarantee him anything if we did. He accepted.”
Eunhyuk seemed very tense in front of him, exhausted, at breaking point. His body was all bent on the metal chair; his wrists clamped by the iron handcuffs were painful. He had understood the explanations of the psychiatrist, but the fact that his story, although strange, could be possible, was very far from meaning that it was true. There was maybe something behind all this, a trap. You were never too leery.
- “You still don’t believe me, don’t you?” Dr. Cho pointed out. “Yet you’ll see him in two days.”
- “In two days, I’ll still be in jail, and maybe even in two months”, Eunhyuk replied with some kind of anger he could not even explain. He maybe blamed the doctor for making him believe he would see Donghae again.
- “No. A Justice Minister who was able to sacrifice his own son for his reputation will never want a trial that can reveal everything. From what I know, he didn’t even complain, because he would have had to do it under a false name. And well, you can imagine that his only fear is for you to reveal everything during the trial. You can be sure that you don’t risk anything. Well anything, because today I was supposed to give a verdict like what you suffered dementia, and ward off any danger by locking you up in an asylum. But don’t worry about me, I sent an anonymous letter with a copy of all the documents in my possession concerning this whole thing, birth certificate, comparison of DNA, entry under a false name and Donghae’s history in the center, etc. If you don’t do anything, he shouldn’t bother you.”
Eunhyuk did not even thank him, totally incredulous. The man who stood in front of him had both set him free and saved Donghae’s life. It was too good to be true. Why had he let him suffer for months rather than confide to him? How had he managed to get himself appointed to come to the consultation here, in this small suburban police station? Where was he hiding Donghae who was supposed to be alive?
- “I’ll come and wait for you on release in two days. Or rather no, let’s meet up in front of the forest. I'll take you to him, and then maybe you’ll finally believe me”, Dr. Cho simply said while standing up to knock on the window, giving him a look of sympathy and compassion, seeing his hands twisted by the handcuffs.
- “Well then, you knock on the tile when you're done, huh?” He grumbled, fading behind the door.
- “Of course I will. I’d like to continue my work in peace now, if possible.”
He continued once the policeman was gone:
- “I thought it would be difficult for Donghae to accept such a subterfuge because of the fear the chemicals inhalation and the confinement in a coffin could cause him, he who’s afraid when he simply has to take a shower or use a fork. But he merely asked me: “If I do all this, will I be able to see Eunhyuk after?” I told him that what was sure, was that his chances to see his friend were near zero if we didn’t do anything, but that I couldn’t guarantee him anything if we did. He accepted.”
Eunhyuk seemed very tense in front of him, exhausted, at breaking point. His body was all bent on the metal chair; his wrists clamped by the iron handcuffs were painful. He had understood the explanations of the psychiatrist, but the fact that his story, although strange, could be possible, was very far from meaning that it was true. There was maybe something behind all this, a trap. You were never too leery.
- “You still don’t believe me, don’t you?” Dr. Cho pointed out. “Yet you’ll see him in two days.”
- “In two days, I’ll still be in jail, and maybe even in two months”, Eunhyuk replied with some kind of anger he could not even explain. He maybe blamed the doctor for making him believe he would see Donghae again.
- “No. A Justice Minister who was able to sacrifice his own son for his reputation will never want a trial that can reveal everything. From what I know, he didn’t even complain, because he would have had to do it under a false name. And well, you can imagine that his only fear is for you to reveal everything during the trial. You can be sure that you don’t risk anything. Well anything, because today I was supposed to give a verdict like what you suffered dementia, and ward off any danger by locking you up in an asylum. But don’t worry about me, I sent an anonymous letter with a copy of all the documents in my possession concerning this whole thing, birth certificate, comparison of DNA, entry under a false name and Donghae’s history in the center, etc. If you don’t do anything, he shouldn’t bother you.”
Eunhyuk did not even thank him, totally incredulous. The man who stood in front of him had both set him free and saved Donghae’s life. It was too good to be true. Why had he let him suffer for months rather than confide to him? How had he managed to get himself appointed to come to the consultation here, in this small suburban police station? Where was he hiding Donghae who was supposed to be alive?
- “I’ll come and wait for you on release in two days. Or rather no, let’s meet up in front of the forest. I'll take you to him, and then maybe you’ll finally believe me”, Dr. Cho simply said while standing up to knock on the window, giving him a look of sympathy and compassion, seeing his hands twisted by the handcuffs.
***
And so like this, two days later and feeling horribly dirty, he indeed got released from his cell. His mother was waiting for him outside, and she hugged him as if he had been in jail for twenty years. She tried the best she could not to cry, and handed him a plastic bag in which she had wrapped rice dumplings. But Eunhyuk did not want any. Never would his mother have imagined to see him with so dark circles and so hollowed cheeks one day. She supported him to the car, prohibiting herself from tiring him with all the questions she had to ask him, and from all the things she absolutely had to tell him. She merely said, in a low voice, as he let himself being lulled by the hum of the car, exhausted, that the doctor who had seen him was very good, that he had understood that Eunhyuk’s sudden burst of violence had been due to extreme psychological shock, and that there was no danger the release him now that he had calmed down by spending several days in captivity.
Eunhyuk was only half listening. He felt as out of himself. Upon returning home, he went to take a long shower. His mother, in the kitchen, heard the water run in the pipes for almost an hour, as if it carried lashing of mud and bitter tears. Upstairs, in the bathroom, Eunhyuk frantically rubbed himself with a hard sponge, almost tearing his skin, as if this violence against himself could tear all the bad memories that clung to his body like leeches. His mother held her apron tight in her hands, eyes plunged in emptiness, lost on a salad. She did not know how she could help him.
- “Oh”, her husband addressed her from the living room, “could you tell your offender of son that if, in addition of dishonoring us by going in jail, he could avoid increasing the water bill with his deluge, I’d consider myself happy?”
Once washed, Eunhyuk left the house without a word and walked to the forest which was at the other end of town.
- “Oh”, her husband addressed her from the living room, “could you tell your offender of son that if, in addition of dishonoring us by going in jail, he could avoid increasing the water bill with his deluge, I’d consider myself happy?”
Once washed, Eunhyuk left the house without a word and walked to the forest which was at the other end of town.
_____________________________________
Sorry for the wait, I've been very busy with Heaven & Hell lately^^
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