Chapter 20
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
As soon as the elevator doors opened, Eunhyuk felt that something was wrong. The nurses all looked panicked, almost as much as the patients they were urgently escorting to their rooms; even the walls seemed afraid, the elevator looked more than ready to go back to the ground floor, and the posters rotted with terror. The floor nurse’s bun seemed like it had just returned from a long war of twenty years.
- "I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he’s crazy! He throws himself against walls; even Kangin can’t hold him!" Kaehyun told the high school student out of nowhere with a totally panicked air, blouse half torn.
- "Donghae’s the one screaming this way?"
Indeed, one could hear echoing against the white and empty walls of the corridors, hoarse and painful complaints, punctuated by the percussion of a body bumping against walls. Eunhyuk rushed to the game room without listening to the nurse who had told him to wait.
He did not recognize anything, everything was upside down, full of muscular nurses who had just grabbed a frail young patient who was struggling like hell, blood strongly coloring his face, digging his teeth wherever he could.
- "Donghae!" Eunhyuk shouted while running towards him. "What’s wrong, what’s going on?"
He threw himself into the scuffle to approach him and try to calm him down; receiving several punches that would have make cry weaker creature, but which did not stop him. He eventually succeeded in reaching Donghae, and called his name twelve times without getting any improvement. Although he tried to talk to him, the young patient did not calm down, quite the contrary, he struggled even more.
- "Donghae, it's me, it's Eunhyuk, don’t you recognize me?" He asked in a vibrant voice and on the verge of tears. "Donghae, I beg you, answer me!"
But the young patient was eventually pulled away from him by the endless efforts of the nurses, who had finally managed to lift him, to evacuate him from the room and urgently bring him to a rest room. Eunhyuk remained kneeling on the floor, defeated. He did not understand. Kaehyun came to lay a hand on his shoulder.
- "But what happened?" He asked in a trembling voice, not understanding anything at all, still shocked. He felt like Donghae’s screams were still ringing in his ears, beating in his heart, and punctuating his breath.
- "A young woman came to bring him this", the nurse said while handing him a photo completely wrinkled, which had obviously been snatched from Donghae’s fist.
On the photo, there was him, the botanical garden’s setting, and Yoo Ra hanging to his lips.
- "I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he’s crazy! He throws himself against walls; even Kangin can’t hold him!" Kaehyun told the high school student out of nowhere with a totally panicked air, blouse half torn.
- "Donghae’s the one screaming this way?"
Indeed, one could hear echoing against the white and empty walls of the corridors, hoarse and painful complaints, punctuated by the percussion of a body bumping against walls. Eunhyuk rushed to the game room without listening to the nurse who had told him to wait.
He did not recognize anything, everything was upside down, full of muscular nurses who had just grabbed a frail young patient who was struggling like hell, blood strongly coloring his face, digging his teeth wherever he could.
- "Donghae!" Eunhyuk shouted while running towards him. "What’s wrong, what’s going on?"
He threw himself into the scuffle to approach him and try to calm him down; receiving several punches that would have make cry weaker creature, but which did not stop him. He eventually succeeded in reaching Donghae, and called his name twelve times without getting any improvement. Although he tried to talk to him, the young patient did not calm down, quite the contrary, he struggled even more.
- "Donghae, it's me, it's Eunhyuk, don’t you recognize me?" He asked in a vibrant voice and on the verge of tears. "Donghae, I beg you, answer me!"
But the young patient was eventually pulled away from him by the endless efforts of the nurses, who had finally managed to lift him, to evacuate him from the room and urgently bring him to a rest room. Eunhyuk remained kneeling on the floor, defeated. He did not understand. Kaehyun came to lay a hand on his shoulder.
- "But what happened?" He asked in a trembling voice, not understanding anything at all, still shocked. He felt like Donghae’s screams were still ringing in his ears, beating in his heart, and punctuating his breath.
- "A young woman came to bring him this", the nurse said while handing him a photo completely wrinkled, which had obviously been snatched from Donghae’s fist.
On the photo, there was him, the botanical garden’s setting, and Yoo Ra hanging to his lips.
- "Eunhyuk, I don’t want to meddle in your life, but all your actions have consequences. Playing a double game is far from being honest. The choices you make can be hurtful and ..."
- "She was the one who kissed me!" He almost shouted. "This girl’s nothing to me! She the one who brought the photo? She just wanted revenge because I don’t like her! I want to see Donghae! Let me see him, I'll explain everything!"
- "I don’t think it's a good idea, he doesn’t listen to anything or anyone", she said while helping him up. "You saw the state he was in. You better not come back for several days, not before he’s willing to listen to you. It would only make him fall apart all over again if you were to go and see him right now. I'll call you when his crisis’ over. We'll give him tranquilizers."
- "But really, I…" Eunhyuk protested in a voice as upset and painful as if he had just been pierced by arrows.
He let himself be led by the arm as if all his strength had left him; the image of Donghae almost torn in between the nurses had completely emptied him.
- "Anyway, you know he won’t believe you. Not tonight. Not in his state. I'll call you okay? You'd better go home now, we have a lot of work now to make up for it", she ended while pushing him in the elevator.
- "She was the one who kissed me!" He almost shouted. "This girl’s nothing to me! She the one who brought the photo? She just wanted revenge because I don’t like her! I want to see Donghae! Let me see him, I'll explain everything!"
- "I don’t think it's a good idea, he doesn’t listen to anything or anyone", she said while helping him up. "You saw the state he was in. You better not come back for several days, not before he’s willing to listen to you. It would only make him fall apart all over again if you were to go and see him right now. I'll call you when his crisis’ over. We'll give him tranquilizers."
- "But really, I…" Eunhyuk protested in a voice as upset and painful as if he had just been pierced by arrows.
He let himself be led by the arm as if all his strength had left him; the image of Donghae almost torn in between the nurses had completely emptied him.
- "Anyway, you know he won’t believe you. Not tonight. Not in his state. I'll call you okay? You'd better go home now, we have a lot of work now to make up for it", she ended while pushing him in the elevator.
***
When he returned home, Eunhyuk directly went to the kitchen. As his mother asked him why he had such a broken face, he threw himself into her arms and, snuggling against her, profusely began to cry.
- "Hey, hey, what’s wrong my son? I haven’t seen you in such a state since ... since… an immemorial time! What in the world happened to you?"
But Eunhyuk failed to speak, breathless because of his tears. He felt horribly weak and powerless. His mother tenderly ran her hand in his hair to soothe him. After fifteen long minutes, his shoulders were less shaken by sobs. Slightly moving him away from her, she told him:
- "Go to bed, I’m going to bring you hot chocolate."
She found him tangled in his sheets in tears; in a more pitiful way that she had ever seen him.
- "It doesn’t surprise me, tss. He’s just a wreck, a good for nothing. Crying at his age, I swear ... Coming from him, it must come from some big ", decreed his father when she told him about it while coming back with her mug still full, a lot of dirty handkerchiefs to throw away but no additional information, "bring me a beer Mimine will you, I'm thirsty."
***
At the same moment, strapped on his bed, face turned towards the wall, Donghae asked Kaehyun in a surprisingly calm voice:
- "What... What is suffering?"
- "What... What is suffering?"
The nurse seemed surprised to hear him talk and thought for a while before answering him. This kind of question was always disarming.
- "What you’re experiencing right now I guess. And probably what Eunhyuk’s experiencing too. I know I'm always one of those advising you not to be naive and fooled by people’s schemes, but I still think you should at least listen to what he has to say before drawing conclusions. You don’t know this girl after all; you can’t believe everything she tells you, you don’t know her motivation right? Even if it hurts you a lot, love is based on trust."
It did not seem strange to Donghae that she was aware of the real situation. He lived off social conventions and was not fully aware of what it meant. He stared at her with empty eyes, without she was able to know if he had listened or not.
- "I’m going to untie you, okay? Try to think about what I said. Suffering’s mostly in your head, you know."
She stayed with him almost all night long, as the director had demanded in order to administer another dose of sedative if necessary. He remained frozen on his small and hard bed without making any sound and without sleeping, looking at the dark sky through the window.
- "What you’re experiencing right now I guess. And probably what Eunhyuk’s experiencing too. I know I'm always one of those advising you not to be naive and fooled by people’s schemes, but I still think you should at least listen to what he has to say before drawing conclusions. You don’t know this girl after all; you can’t believe everything she tells you, you don’t know her motivation right? Even if it hurts you a lot, love is based on trust."
It did not seem strange to Donghae that she was aware of the real situation. He lived off social conventions and was not fully aware of what it meant. He stared at her with empty eyes, without she was able to know if he had listened or not.
- "I’m going to untie you, okay? Try to think about what I said. Suffering’s mostly in your head, you know."
She stayed with him almost all night long, as the director had demanded in order to administer another dose of sedative if necessary. He remained frozen on his small and hard bed without making any sound and without sleeping, looking at the dark sky through the window.
***
Eunhyuk got all the trouble in the world to wake up the next morning. He had spent a horrible sleepless night and had managed to fall asleep, exhausted, barely half an hour earlier. He dragged himself out of bed to high school as best he could. He did not remember a single word he heard in class, and almost got thrown out no less than three times. He told his teachers he was sick to justify his almost constant small sniffs. Horrible nightmares, which had tortured him all night, popped up when he blinked. He could see Donghae hanging to a butcher’s nail, being skinned by Yoo Ra who laughed like a mad woman, swinging her honey colored hair in all directions. It's your fault! All the objects on which his eyes landed, shouted. It's your fault! The blackboard, the corner of the window and the bag of the girl in front of him, shouted. And Yoo Ra gashed the back of a little cat with her dripping knife. His meows were atrocious, so atrocious that he had to clap his hands over his ears. He had the feeling that his small half of cloud was trying to throw itself on him to suffocate him, and he could hear the teacher’s yellow ruler from afar yelling at him: It’s your fault. He had to dive his head under a stream of cold water for fifteen minutes in order to put an end to the delirium gnawing his mind.
In the afternoon, not knowing what to do since he could no longer go to the center, Eunhyuk dragged himself like a zombie to the Nights and Days, supported by Onew who wondered how he had let himself being embarked in this, and cursed his too sensitive and generous heart.
They found out that Heechul was already there, an almost filled ashtray in front of him, feet on a chair and cell phone in hand. Eunhyuk did not even have the strength to respond to the greeting of the boss he yet knew well. After a moment, seeing that his friend had subsided on the bench as a small pile of stones, Heechul, on a whim, grabbed a chair and, scraping it on the ground, came to sit at their table. Onew looked even more uncomfortable and Eunhyuk did not notice, too busy in his blues.
In the afternoon, not knowing what to do since he could no longer go to the center, Eunhyuk dragged himself like a zombie to the Nights and Days, supported by Onew who wondered how he had let himself being embarked in this, and cursed his too sensitive and generous heart.
They found out that Heechul was already there, an almost filled ashtray in front of him, feet on a chair and cell phone in hand. Eunhyuk did not even have the strength to respond to the greeting of the boss he yet knew well. After a moment, seeing that his friend had subsided on the bench as a small pile of stones, Heechul, on a whim, grabbed a chair and, scraping it on the ground, came to sit at their table. Onew looked even more uncomfortable and Eunhyuk did not notice, too busy in his blues.
- "Parky, bring us two beers, dude, Heechul asked the bartender. Ah ... and an orange juice", he added, aiming Onew who pushed his glasses up his nose.
For a moment, he looked at the boy who dared not to look at him in the eyes and was nervously fiddling his watch, to finally say:
- "You really hang out with weird people, Eunhyuk."
- "That’s exactly what my mother told me after you came home for the first time", the latter said in a morbid air.
- "As if, you've become a guy who puts indicative with after. You don’t have to play purist with me you know."
Eunhyuk did not answer and buried his head in his arms with a long and painful sigh. Next to him, Onew laid low as best as possible so as not to incur Heechul’s wrath.
-" You don’t look okay thought", the latter went on to try and start a conversation.
- "No...", Eunhyuk replied, mouth falling down in a desperate mimicry.
The bartender brought the order and Heechul waited for him to walk away before deciding to start after much hesitation:
- "Is it because of Donghae?"
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied without thinking it was strange for Heechul to know about it, convinced that the whole world knew the reason of his pain and sympathized to his complaints’ long echoes.
- "So, you really like men..." Heechul sighed almost to himself while widening his eyes in disbelief.
- "Liking men?" He heard himself answer. "But it's a cat. I only love cats; they are much more loving and faithful."
- "He lost it", Heechul said to Onew who randomly preferred to approve as a precaution.
- "In any case, he doesn’t want to talk to me or see me now."
- "Who?" Inquired the student always first in class while putting his glasses back in place, daring to start talking since Heechul had given him such as an authorization by regarding his presence.
- "Well, Donghae. It’s because of that... Yoo Ra. She went to the center and asked to see him, posing as her cousin, to bring him a photo that was supposed to prove our relationship. She must have organized something with one of her friends to take a picture just at the right moment in the botanical garden. She plotted everything. I don’t know what kind of horrors she told him to put him in this state. My poor little Donghae! I’d give everything to comfort him ... But I don’t know how", he groaned in a plaintive voice.
- "So you're really in love with him ..." Heechul, who could still not believe it, sighed again.
- "But in love with who?" Inquired Onew who certainly did not understand anything.
- "With Donghae, duh. Your glasses, are they just here to hide your slow-wittedness? Yet Eunhyuk, you dated Yoo Ra isn’t it? I saw you guys kissing with my own eyes, and you didn’t seem reluctant."
- "Oh, it was only once and I was drunk. It’s nearly her who did everything. And I even told her politely that I couldn’t date her, it's not as if she had to avenge her pride ... She could have pretended she was the one who had dumped me."
- "But wait, Donghae, he’s your math genius friend who won the Olympiads!" Onew, who was more reactive in front of equations than emotional problems, suddenly realized.
- "Bravo glass guy, you’ve understood everything! Okay listen Eunhyuk, stop crying, I can fix everything. But you must promise me to keep your cool no matter what; alright?" He asked, moving several armchairs away as a precaution.
- "Anything you like as long he’s willing to talk to me."
- "You won’t get angry, you won’t hit me, you won’t destroy everything?"
- "Yeah go ahead, say it."
- "Note that I don’t ask you to forgive me, just not to freak out."
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied, determined.
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied without thinking it was strange for Heechul to know about it, convinced that the whole world knew the reason of his pain and sympathized to his complaints’ long echoes.
- "So, you really like men..." Heechul sighed almost to himself while widening his eyes in disbelief.
- "Liking men?" He heard himself answer. "But it's a cat. I only love cats; they are much more loving and faithful."
- "He lost it", Heechul said to Onew who randomly preferred to approve as a precaution.
- "In any case, he doesn’t want to talk to me or see me now."
- "Who?" Inquired the student always first in class while putting his glasses back in place, daring to start talking since Heechul had given him such as an authorization by regarding his presence.
- "Well, Donghae. It’s because of that... Yoo Ra. She went to the center and asked to see him, posing as her cousin, to bring him a photo that was supposed to prove our relationship. She must have organized something with one of her friends to take a picture just at the right moment in the botanical garden. She plotted everything. I don’t know what kind of horrors she told him to put him in this state. My poor little Donghae! I’d give everything to comfort him ... But I don’t know how", he groaned in a plaintive voice.
- "So you're really in love with him ..." Heechul, who could still not believe it, sighed again.
- "But in love with who?" Inquired Onew who certainly did not understand anything.
- "With Donghae, duh. Your glasses, are they just here to hide your slow-wittedness? Yet Eunhyuk, you dated Yoo Ra isn’t it? I saw you guys kissing with my own eyes, and you didn’t seem reluctant."
- "Oh, it was only once and I was drunk. It’s nearly her who did everything. And I even told her politely that I couldn’t date her, it's not as if she had to avenge her pride ... She could have pretended she was the one who had dumped me."
- "But wait, Donghae, he’s your math genius friend who won the Olympiads!" Onew, who was more reactive in front of equations than emotional problems, suddenly realized.
- "Bravo glass guy, you’ve understood everything! Okay listen Eunhyuk, stop crying, I can fix everything. But you must promise me to keep your cool no matter what; alright?" He asked, moving several armchairs away as a precaution.
- "Anything you like as long he’s willing to talk to me."
- "You won’t get angry, you won’t hit me, you won’t destroy everything?"
- "Yeah go ahead, say it."
- "Note that I don’t ask you to forgive me, just not to freak out."
- "Yes", Eunhyuk replied, determined.
Onew scratched his head beside him, wondering if he had missed something.
- "So-well-I’m-the-one-who-took-the-photo-but-actually-it’s-a-video-because-Yoo-Ra-wanted-to-make-sure-I-would-not-miss-the-exact-moment-and-you-can-hear-everything-you-said-and-therefore-that-you-don’t-like-Yoo-Ra."
- "What?" Replied Eunhyuk who had not understood this cascade of words said at once.
Heechul gave him some time to detach the sentence in his head to understand it, and ruefully continued.
- "Yeah, the picture’s just a screen capture of the video. I agreed to do it because Yoo Ra seemed almost as depressed as you were, plus I didn’t want to believe her when she said ... that there was something between you. I wanted to know. I'm sorry; I didn’t know it would go this far. In addition you had punched me and you weren’t talking to me anymore, I was a bit angry. Anyway", he concluded upon seeing that Eunhyuk had not said anything and had not send the glass, which he had not touched, flying in a mirror or a window, "I have the video on a memory card, I give it to you, you show it to your friend, he understands it was a conspiracy, and everything’s back in place. No?"
- "What?" Replied Eunhyuk who had not understood this cascade of words said at once.
Heechul gave him some time to detach the sentence in his head to understand it, and ruefully continued.
- "Yeah, the picture’s just a screen capture of the video. I agreed to do it because Yoo Ra seemed almost as depressed as you were, plus I didn’t want to believe her when she said ... that there was something between you. I wanted to know. I'm sorry; I didn’t know it would go this far. In addition you had punched me and you weren’t talking to me anymore, I was a bit angry. Anyway", he concluded upon seeing that Eunhyuk had not said anything and had not send the glass, which he had not touched, flying in a mirror or a window, "I have the video on a memory card, I give it to you, you show it to your friend, he understands it was a conspiracy, and everything’s back in place. No?"
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