Chapter 23
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
The hall of the city hall had slightly been decorated, and a few teachers were waiting on benches for the prodigy to arrive. Mr. Choi lively talked with Onew, the crowd was not very compact, and the mayor looked tired. Nobody applauded when Donghae walked between the rows, surrounded by Eunhyuk and his two nurses, as they had been warned that a slightly little thing could scare him. All looked at him with curious eyes, detailing his shy and uncertain walk, trying to see on his forehead, behind the twisted little strand that had fallen over his eyes again, the stamp of genius. Everyone, after Eunhyuk had nodded to his teacher, sat in the greatest calm, whispering rising up in the room. The mayor, after pulling up his pants, then went on stage, checked the microphone, cleared his throat a few times, looked down at the gathering to wait for complete silence, and began his little speech:
- "Dear citizens, we gather today to celebrate the success of a young man who honored our community ..."
Eunhyuk only listened with a very inattentive ear, lovingly looking at Donghae’s hands clenched in his lap. He pulled on his phalanges and crumpled the tissue of his pants with anxiety, not daring to look away from the character that moved on the platform.
- "... A first place in such a prestigious competition, that’s truly exceptional. I’d also like you not to forget the great success of two other brave students from our town ..."
He thought that the progress his friend had made in only a few months was truly remarkable, and his chest swelled with pride, thinking that if they both sat side by side today listening to this boring speech, it was thanks to them both, to mutual support.
- "... And besides, this noble discipline that math is, is very important in our country since it traced its way into modernity and that our best researchers ..."
He would have wanted to run his hand in his back to make him feel a little less tense, but thought that this gesture might seem strange, so he contented himself by pressing his foot against the other’s. He smiled at their big, colorful sneakers touching, one on which a brown cloth with worn folds fell on, and the other that imprisoned a tight jeans behind its scratches.
- "... He called me to talk to me about the crisis the other day, and I couldn’t entirely hide the truth..."
Eunhyuk suddenly snatched away from his contemplation as he came to realize it was Kaehyun who spoke to him in a low, nervous voice, low enough for anyone to hear.
- "Dear citizens, we gather today to celebrate the success of a young man who honored our community ..."
Eunhyuk only listened with a very inattentive ear, lovingly looking at Donghae’s hands clenched in his lap. He pulled on his phalanges and crumpled the tissue of his pants with anxiety, not daring to look away from the character that moved on the platform.
- "... A first place in such a prestigious competition, that’s truly exceptional. I’d also like you not to forget the great success of two other brave students from our town ..."
He thought that the progress his friend had made in only a few months was truly remarkable, and his chest swelled with pride, thinking that if they both sat side by side today listening to this boring speech, it was thanks to them both, to mutual support.
- "... And besides, this noble discipline that math is, is very important in our country since it traced its way into modernity and that our best researchers ..."
He would have wanted to run his hand in his back to make him feel a little less tense, but thought that this gesture might seem strange, so he contented himself by pressing his foot against the other’s. He smiled at their big, colorful sneakers touching, one on which a brown cloth with worn folds fell on, and the other that imprisoned a tight jeans behind its scratches.
- "... He called me to talk to me about the crisis the other day, and I couldn’t entirely hide the truth..."
Eunhyuk suddenly snatched away from his contemplation as he came to realize it was Kaehyun who spoke to him in a low, nervous voice, low enough for anyone to hear.
- "How?" The young student asked, experiencing the exact opposite feeling that one experiences finding himself in his room, waking up from a nightmare.
- "The director of the center was scared Donghae might also be bipolar seeing how his attitude had changed dramatically in one day, that after having such a huge attack, he seemed quite happy. He wanted to make him take special pills for this kind of pathology, but you see, it’s very dangerous when the patient doesn’t actually need it. I started to tell him he was wrong", she added in a lower voice, still hiding behind the paper she used as a fan, "that there was a reason, that Donghae's reaction was certainly disproportionate, but had its own logic, and that he therefore wasn’t bipolar. I don’t know if he really believed in his theory or if he wanted to push me to say what I knew, but in any case ... I ended up having to tell him the story about the girl and the photo. He said he would see you next Wednesday to talk to you and put..."
- "The director of the center was scared Donghae might also be bipolar seeing how his attitude had changed dramatically in one day, that after having such a huge attack, he seemed quite happy. He wanted to make him take special pills for this kind of pathology, but you see, it’s very dangerous when the patient doesn’t actually need it. I started to tell him he was wrong", she added in a lower voice, still hiding behind the paper she used as a fan, "that there was a reason, that Donghae's reaction was certainly disproportionate, but had its own logic, and that he therefore wasn’t bipolar. I don’t know if he really believed in his theory or if he wanted to push me to say what I knew, but in any case ... I ended up having to tell him the story about the girl and the photo. He said he would see you next Wednesday to talk to you and put..."
The remaining of Kaehyun’s talk lost itself in a clamor that had just shaken the small crowd. Its members exchanged exclamatory and enthusiastic comments.
- "What did he say?" Eunhyuk asked Kangin, his heart still pounding from what the nurse had just confided to him.
As he tried not to panic, Kangin repeated it to him, surprised that he had not listened to such important information, that with his first place, Donghae had also received a scholarship to the elite University of Seoul, Bae Kae Lee, that wanted to recruit heads to prevail on an international level and train top researchers useful to the nation.
- "You know how hard it is to enter this university, that’s so great for Donghae! I wonder if it’ll be possible for him though ... but it would really be his chance of a lifetime ..."
Under measured but admiring applauses, Donghae was then called up on stage to get his diploma in person, and take a picture with the mayor, whose speech had quite pleased, for the local newspaper. Eunhyuk, still on his seat, though he threw smiles of encouragement, was at least as anxious as his friend on the scene, whose knees almost touched as he trembled. Yoo Ra and Heechul, as an example, had angered him, hurt him, but had not caused him such fear. He was on an equal footing with them, he knew that their power was limited. Yoo Ra had caused damages, this much was true. But he had been able to repair them. With the director who had real authority, things were different. Donghae, despite his great progress, would not be considered an adult before a long time. His guardians had all power over him. All he wanted, seeing him so fragile and fearful on this stage, was to pull him away from all this, make him a suit of armor that would make him stronger. But he did not know if he would have enough time.
- "What did he say?" Eunhyuk asked Kangin, his heart still pounding from what the nurse had just confided to him.
As he tried not to panic, Kangin repeated it to him, surprised that he had not listened to such important information, that with his first place, Donghae had also received a scholarship to the elite University of Seoul, Bae Kae Lee, that wanted to recruit heads to prevail on an international level and train top researchers useful to the nation.
- "You know how hard it is to enter this university, that’s so great for Donghae! I wonder if it’ll be possible for him though ... but it would really be his chance of a lifetime ..."
Under measured but admiring applauses, Donghae was then called up on stage to get his diploma in person, and take a picture with the mayor, whose speech had quite pleased, for the local newspaper. Eunhyuk, still on his seat, though he threw smiles of encouragement, was at least as anxious as his friend on the scene, whose knees almost touched as he trembled. Yoo Ra and Heechul, as an example, had angered him, hurt him, but had not caused him such fear. He was on an equal footing with them, he knew that their power was limited. Yoo Ra had caused damages, this much was true. But he had been able to repair them. With the director who had real authority, things were different. Donghae, despite his great progress, would not be considered an adult before a long time. His guardians had all power over him. All he wanted, seeing him so fragile and fearful on this stage, was to pull him away from all this, make him a suit of armor that would make him stronger. But he did not know if he would have enough time.
***
- "Hello Donghae, I'm glad to see you!" Eunhyuk’s mother told him at the end of the ceremony.
She had only managed to leave the store until very late, and having arrived late, had sat in the back of the room. Donghae did not really seem to realize he was the one she had greeted as his eyes stared at the diploma he held in both hands. He had not understood much of the mayor’s convoluted speech, but the gold border on the edge of the beige cardboard was really pretty.
She had only managed to leave the store until very late, and having arrived late, had sat in the back of the room. Donghae did not really seem to realize he was the one she had greeted as his eyes stared at the diploma he held in both hands. He had not understood much of the mayor’s convoluted speech, but the gold border on the edge of the beige cardboard was really pretty.
- "It's great for Kae Bae Lee, my dear!" She congratulated him. "Will you also have to take the end-of-year exam, as Eunhyuk?"
- "I'll discuss all this with the headmaster", Kaehyun replied upon seeing that the boy did not seem ready to answer, "in case his parents and the director were to accept. Mr. Choi will drive me to school, goodbye then. Kangin, I leave our patient in your hands."
- "Yes, don’t worry, we’re going to drive home", Mrs. Lee who had finally gave in to her son’s insistence to invite Donghae home again, replied.
- "Oh yeah true, that snack", the nurse remembered while throwing a discreet glance at Eunhyuk. "It went well last time, so be a good boy today too", she recommended to Donghae.
She left without worrying too much. The situation that could have caused the patient number 214 a panic attack was now overcome. Nurse Kangin sighed deeply, because working was fine, but he was eager to see if his order from eBay had arrived by post, and this invitation would delay him again. Eunhyuk, seized by a momentum he would not have been able to explain right now, took advantage of the fact that his mother had moved away to discuss with his teacher Choi and get some glory comments about her son’s progress, to propose :
- "You know, it's me Donghae listens better to, and it’ll be very calm at home, there isn’t any danger, so if you want , you can just accompany us to my house and then go home..."
- "Oh...", the nurse said, quite tempted, "but ... I’ll get scolded when they’ll notice that I did not take Donghae back to the center."
- "No, don’t worry, we’ll drive him back and I’ll tell the reception you left us at the gate because you were going to miss your train otherwise, they won’t see anything."
- "Oh, I...", he hesitantly replied for form’s sake.
- "I beg you, think about you, don’t always sacrifice yourself for your job; you’ll end up working yourself to death. It was nice enough of you to agree and come to the ceremony", Eunhyuk added yet again without a shadow of remorse to this mountain of lies he was about to set up, "you deserve a rest."
- "Well, okay then, but hey, not a word Donghae, huh? Not that you usually are very talkative, but still, I'd get scolded..."
***
Why he done that, Eunhyuk only understood it when he found himself alone in the kitchen with Donghae.
He dug into the fridge to find orange juice he could serve him. He knew that his mother would go back ten minutes after dropping them at home as she had hours to finish in the store. She did not worry about leaving Donghae without more supervision as he was very calm, and because Eunhyuk had never told her the extent of the damages the young patient could cause. Donghae had sat at the kitchen table, his diploma in front of him, hesitating between buns and chocolate cookies. ‘Take both', Eunhyuk told him, solving his dilemma, as he had heard his stomach growl. Donghae had probably not eaten anything today, too anxious. He put a glass filled to the brim on his mat with a smile.
Many thoughts ran through his mind. He was both happy to be with Donghae, anxious about next Wednesday, and a bit worried that the ruse he had developed with Kangin would be discovered. 'I just need to forget all this... for an hour or two’ Eunhyuk made up this mind as he saw Donghae pick a few crumbs of cake from his whiskers with the tip of his tongue. 'I want this afternoon to be happy for him.” He wanted, now that he had conquered their solitude, to conquer something else more difficult to obtain.
To hell with advices and files, he thought, there’s no manual to play on Donghae. It’s always by improvising, correcting, alleviating, that I can make him show his real music. He’s the wonderful instrument that was made for me; I'm the player he needed to be. And now, I'll stop with my dodgy metaphors and just take him into my arms, he decided while awkwardly approaching his friend, anxious despite the encouragement he had just inspired himself with.
His heart rhythm was probably noticeable because Donghae was seized by a little scared thrill when he approached him, his eyes looking a bit crazy. He looked at him with big round eyes as Eunhyuk grabbed him by his elbow to force him up in the kitchen, and, running his hand behind his back, brought him back against himself with a sweeping gesture, his own breath almost already mixed to his. He brought his lips to his, but his sudden ardor seemed to scare Donghae. Without releasing him, and while a bit of orange juice and a few crumbs cried their abandonment, Eunhyuk his cheek then his forehead with two fingers as if to soothe him.
"You know I love you", he said,
"You and your angel face in exile;
When I lean towards your white neck,
When I breathe your charming smile,
I feel a subtle fragrance grow in the inside.
The perfume of your so fragile soul is so disturbing!
But your eyes are cloudy, hesitant
Hiding behind your heavy eyelids, this evasive fact...
Come in my arms, I’ll be your refuge
Come my kitty, be docile;
Against me, I would soothe you, trust me
Let my kisses turn your childlike cheeks pink
And do not stand an hostile paw against me
Because kisses, I’ll give you thousands, and then thousands more!"
"You and your angel face in exile;
When I lean towards your white neck,
When I breathe your charming smile,
I feel a subtle fragrance grow in the inside.
The perfume of your so fragile soul is so disturbing!
But your eyes are cloudy, hesitant
Hiding behind your heavy eyelids, this evasive fact...
Come in my arms, I’ll be your refuge
Come my kitty, be docile;
Against me, I would soothe you, trust me
Let my kisses turn your childlike cheeks pink
And do not stand an hostile paw against me
Because kisses, I’ll give you thousands, and then thousands more!"
Eunhyuk freely whispered these lines a bit stolen, barely brushing his friend who shivered like a frightened animal in front of such fire, acting as someone who did not want it, to hide who he wanted too much, and still increase and prolong the pleasure these murmurs caused him. By doing so, to his lips, Eunhyuk stole kisses. And the more he stole them, the more a tender and enveloping warmth weaved around them, a peace of mind almost dangerous by means of tenderness, one that made you lose your will. Like small insects, these flies quivered on his lips then melted, reformed, and flew again. Hugging Donghae against his heart, kidneys supported by the sink, he felt the other’s beating, full of life. He would have liked to hold him entirely in his embrace, hide him forever so that no one would ever steal him.
It was with him alone in his life that Donghae had felt loved, and he felt like a light dawning inside him, as if the greenhouse that made the Friend’s warmth around him, he could finally start to bloom; he who had almost died in the endless desert of his life every day. And Eunhyuk began to pluck this blooming flower that shivered as would have done a brand new rose in the morning, to strip it from its old skin, from the rags that hid its beauty. As if he was sloughing, the brown pants fell on the floor, trampled, defeated. The corpse of this last great enemy to defeat remained lying among the other garments, just as a deformed and worn hydra. His ness, which was like his innocent soul’s and without dissimulation, adorned Donghae in its shades of pink, peach and creamy white as no other precious cloth would have been able to achieve. And Eunhyuk bent in front of him to take him more easily into his arms.
He carried him up the stairs, to the secret of his room, all these scraps of clothing rolled up around his ankles to erase the evidences behind them, and Donghae, who hid his shy muzzle in his neck, dared to mutter against his skin:
- "W... why do I feel so weird Eunhyuk?"
- "Because you’re just starting to live."
- "But ... do we have to go shower?" He asked again, not understanding why Eunhyuk had removed all his clothes. "It's not time yet..."
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Hi~ Sorry for the long wait TT I’m quite busy recently, I’m gonna move out soon so I have lots of things to prepare =/
And Hell!! This chapter was really hard to translate too! >< Hope it’s still ok thought =/ The poem has rhymes in French that I couldn’t put in English so… it probably sounds less poetic... Sorry =S
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