Chapter 17
The Blue of the Sky on Rainy Days
After this episode, Eunhyuk thought he really had to be careful not to expose the most secret part of his secret, since he was much more monitored than he could have imagined, as advisor Siwon’s card had proven. However, the wariness projects he promised himself to carry out were not very successful.
During these hazy weeks where everyone looked askance at him in high school, where he now wandered without any other company than his classes’ books and sometimes Onew, the only moments where his mind really knew calmness were those he spent with Donghae.
Indeed, Eunhyuk might seem to have changed a lot for those looking at him from the outside, but inside, playing by kicking small stones in the courtyard with Donghae seemed natural and logical, in agreement with the one he had always been. What he had always sought while hanging out with Heechul and other guys who did not want to do anything of their life, was the feeling of time. He did not want his high school years to disappear in a breath, stuck with revisions, the spirit of competition and his projection into the future. Staying in the street after school doing nothing, or ending up playing the exact same scenario every Saturday night, like “You’re drunk” “No I’m not drunk”, he had the feeling of fully embracing the hours, to feel them slide one by one, not missing the plan, as in a very old black and white movie. He hated the days he had too many things to do above all, that exhausted him for weeks, and preferred to bathe in a familiar setting in which he could project his musings.
That’s why he had come to spend so much time in the center without managing to restrain himself, because time seemed to flow in a very smooth way with Donghae. The young patient barely moved, spoke very little, but his eyes were as mobile as clouds in a blue sky. He could spend hours snuggled against him without trying to move. Today, moreover, both had taken an interest into a hole in the fence, as if it could reveal them some metaphysical secrets.
During these hazy weeks where everyone looked askance at him in high school, where he now wandered without any other company than his classes’ books and sometimes Onew, the only moments where his mind really knew calmness were those he spent with Donghae.
Indeed, Eunhyuk might seem to have changed a lot for those looking at him from the outside, but inside, playing by kicking small stones in the courtyard with Donghae seemed natural and logical, in agreement with the one he had always been. What he had always sought while hanging out with Heechul and other guys who did not want to do anything of their life, was the feeling of time. He did not want his high school years to disappear in a breath, stuck with revisions, the spirit of competition and his projection into the future. Staying in the street after school doing nothing, or ending up playing the exact same scenario every Saturday night, like “You’re drunk” “No I’m not drunk”, he had the feeling of fully embracing the hours, to feel them slide one by one, not missing the plan, as in a very old black and white movie. He hated the days he had too many things to do above all, that exhausted him for weeks, and preferred to bathe in a familiar setting in which he could project his musings.
That’s why he had come to spend so much time in the center without managing to restrain himself, because time seemed to flow in a very smooth way with Donghae. The young patient barely moved, spoke very little, but his eyes were as mobile as clouds in a blue sky. He could spend hours snuggled against him without trying to move. Today, moreover, both had taken an interest into a hole in the fence, as if it could reveal them some metaphysical secrets.
Kaehyun, who had to attend her friend’s birthday, wore out doing in the toilet, trying to get rid of a stain that a patient had done to her beige skirt during lunch. She cursed herself for not having closed her blouse to the bottom in the name of coquetry, furiously rubbing the tissue.
- "Hey Donghae, have you once done anything without permission?"
The young patient turned his head toward him while slightly leaning it to the side, anxiously clenching his fingers on the wire fence, like a cat with a briskly hair clinging to curtains.
- "Oh, he's so cute panicking! But you know it doesn’t affect me anymore, I know you're ready to do everything for me", he joked with an absolutely genuine insurance.
The young patient turned his head toward him while slightly leaning it to the side, anxiously clenching his fingers on the wire fence, like a cat with a briskly hair clinging to curtains.
- "Oh, he's so cute panicking! But you know it doesn’t affect me anymore, I know you're ready to do everything for me", he joked with an absolutely genuine insurance.
He actually doubted that Donghae was ready to follow him this time. He always kept in mind that the boy he was talking to was definitely not in the norm, and that his reactions were always strange and unexpected. He understood better now what he liked with his friend. It was the fact of never really knowing how he would react, if he would accept or reject what he was proposing to do, to make their relationship move forward as a kind of challenge. He liked the fact that his friend was not trite, that his personality had the form of an exception. The presence of Donghae, who was like a feline to tame, made exciting again the gesture of ripping the fence, which had long lost all interest to Eunhyuk since he hanged out with Heechul and his group.
- "Come on, let’s go. Escape from this prison dude, prove you're a man", he told Donghae while he let his body go through the hole he had expanded in the grid. "Don’t worry; we won’t go very far, it's more for the symbolic gesture, so you can tell yourself you're capable of doing it."
Donghae, sitting on his heels in the yard, on the other side, hesitantly looked at him with big, round eyes. The prospect of going out this way, without any net to catch him, terrified him. But on the other hand, he knew Eunhyuk did not want to hurt him, and always made him do interesting things, like that day when he had done lots of fun math exercises at once, on odd sheets with things to file, and a man who had a stopwatch. He tampered the buttons of his smock for a moment, without succeeding in talking a decision. On the other side of the fence, through the hole, Eunhyuk approached his face with a smile and offered him his lips. To respond to his kiss, Donghae, still crouched, slightly walked forward, mouth heart-shaped, immediately looking relaxed. But the kiss slipped away. Donghae opened his eyes, and saw it a few centimeters away. He probably had miscalculated. He approached again, this time almost touching his lower lip. Frowning, he moved his neck a bit more forward, a greedy tongue moistening his thin lips, determined not to miss his target this time. He finally felt Eunhyuk against him, with a small thrill of satisfaction, who gently kissed him, as if he tasted a juicy fruit, running his hand behind his neck. Without realizing it, Donghae had moved to the other side of the hole to get the coveted kiss, outside the hospital.
Kaehyun looked at her watch, then the stain that was spreading, mixed with water, foul, on the light cotton, then at her watch again. She could not possibly go to the party in this outfit, where she hoped to find a boyfriend. Her conscience tugged her a bit; she decided to leave the center earlier to go home and change. The blue dress she had bought in early May would do. 'I hope it’s not dirty' she thought while calling the elevator, after she had made up the excuse of an unbearable and devouring headache to the floor manager.
Eunhyuk had to resolve in leaving Donghae’s soft and wet lips, he constantly recaptured between his, to carry out his plan, already having mentally pushed the moment of breaking the kiss, which he could not satisfy himself of, a dozen times by now. He sacrificed himself for Donghae’s well being and his education.
- "Here you go, free and still intact", he showed him with a large wave as he stood, affectionately messing his hair.
Donghae, feeling anxious to suddenly find himself outside, with in front of him the broad sports fields, grabbed Eunhyuk’s hand in case the ground would suddenly slip under his feet.
- "Watch out, a snake!" Eunhyuk said, pointing to a clump of grass with a frightened air.
- "Here you go, free and still intact", he showed him with a large wave as he stood, affectionately messing his hair.
Donghae, feeling anxious to suddenly find himself outside, with in front of him the broad sports fields, grabbed Eunhyuk’s hand in case the ground would suddenly slip under his feet.
- "Watch out, a snake!" Eunhyuk said, pointing to a clump of grass with a frightened air.
Donghae uttered a high-pitched cry, clinging to Eunhyuk’s arm with such violence that it punished the latter for his bad joke.
- "Ouch! I was joking silly, don’t act like a five years old kid! Oh, don’t sulk; it doesn’t suit you at all. Hold my hand tight, we’ll go to the other side of the field."
Kaehyun grabbed her keys and started her car. She lowered the visor in order to drive without light discomfort. After she reversed into the small parking lot, she used her pass to open the center’s automatic gate, and engaged into the driveway going along the sports fields to get back to the city center, thinking that her purple cashmere sweater would maybe highlight her low-cut more. She would have to try once home, and not forget to take her compact too, because it was quite hot.
Donghae was gradually proven that indeed, walking in the open air of the city was not, in itself, much more dangerous than walking in a corridor where he had to zigzag between patients with strange whims. Even so, he did not felt the desire to release Eunhyuk’s hand. He was quite proud to walk with him as people did in movies, except that it was much better than any he had seen, because Eunhyuk was much funnier and nice. He looked at him with a heart full of gratitude, because he was the only person on earth who forced him to do things to make him happy. He led Eunhyuk‘s arms he had in his possession around his shoulders.
- "I love you", he said without warning, which made Eunhyuk almost choke with nothing and get seized by a coughing fit that forced him to sit down as he could no longer stop.
Very anxious, Donghae turned around him without knowing what to do, eyes wide open, jabbering small, strange noises. Amused, Eunhyuk thought about taking advantage of the situation and lay lying on the ground.
- "Save me!" He said as he was catching his breath, "make me mouth to mouth, quick!"
Very anxious, Donghae turned around him without knowing what to do, eyes wide open, jabbering small, strange noises. Amused, Eunhyuk thought about taking advantage of the situation and lay lying on the ground.
- "Save me!" He said as he was catching his breath, "make me mouth to mouth, quick!"
Kaehyun stopped on the spot. She was now sure of recognizing Eunhyuk and Donghae’s figures walking on the track. From afar, she had not clearly distinguished who were the two people holding hands, but now, she could distinctly see Donghae’s sailor and colorful sneakers, as Eunhyuk’s characteristic walk. ‘What on earth are they doing there? And what are they doing?' She had time to wonder before her brain turned blank, which lasted until she understood that the two figures, which were now rolling on the ground, were lovingly larking about. Still not able to believe her eyes, she approached while driving slowly, hiding behind her tinted windows. Donghae was holding Eunhyuk’s head with his hands, the latter pretending to be dead or something like this, and was trying to make him come back to life with small kisses full of laughter. Seeing that his life was not really in danger, she continued her journey without stopping, not knowing what to do anyway, having totally forgotten beige skirt, blue dress and purple sweater.
- "What were you saying just now, before I choked?" Eunhyuk mischievously asked Donghae as they were walking back to the center’s yard.
The latter, now being asked, began to blush. He thought that perhaps Eunhyuk had not liked it, seeing his reaction, and he dared not to repeat. Seeing him lower his ears sheepishly, Eunhyuk, enjoying an adrenaline rush, tightened him against himself while still walking, which made them trip several times, and told him against his temple:
- "I knew it actually, but I'm so glad you told me, and you can repeat it as many times as you want."
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