Author's note: If you havent listen to SHINee's Alarm Clock, I suggested you listened to that first, or listen it as you read my story :3

and here's the english translation of the lyrics http://www.kpoplyrics.net/shinee-alarm-clock-lyrics-english-romanized.html

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I knocked at his door but no one answer. I've tried to find the key on the secret place but it's not there.

"Jjongie?!" KNOCK KNOCK. “I know you’re inside!”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. I'm still knocking. And still he doesn't answer.

"Jonghyun-ah!! Open the door, would you? It's me!" Days have passed yet some things hasn't changed. Why am I still here? I even don't know the answer.

And why did I let myself stuck in this situation? It's because of my stupid so-called blood friend. Yes, we did this sharing blood thing whenever we're still a kid. You know how stupid and silly we can be at that time.

Little that we know, for some people, being a blood friend does really trap them into a place where there is no escape. And that happened to me.

My hand feels sore of too much knocking, as then I grabbed the handle and-what? He didn't lock the door??

That stupid son a bitc-

Opened the door and let it close with a loud bang that I swear will make the neighbor mad, I ran to find him. But as my eyes look around, doing a quick search, this place has become a mess.

No, wait, it's already like this since the last time I went here.

Green bottles everywhere, some of broken glass abandoned on the floor. Box of leftovers scrapped on the coffee table and I bet it might already be left there from at least a week ago.

All of the curtains are closed, I pulled it open and the light striked on me.  My eyes are blinded for a moment and when I open my eyes, gosh, look at those dusts.

I can clean all of this later, I walked rushingly to his bedroom, and yes, he's there. Lying on the bed like he's dead- what the hell am I talking about? No matter how hard this is to him, he wouldn't hurt himself. He wouldn't. He shouldn't, ok??! I won't let him.

This room is even not different than the living room, but the only a bottle of soju on the side of his bed, near where his hand is laying.

Kim Jonghyun I know is not really good when it comes to drink, yet he always accompanies me when we're out drinking in the middle of night. Especially when I was too stressed because of my work, he often with me, after get the permission from his girlfriend -no, ex-girlfriend, of course.

Stupid moron, why are you like this? Love and hate between us is already blurred because of our long time friendship, but this is not the situation I want to see from him.

All I can see is his , and I wonder how long is he's staying like that.

"Ya Kim Jonghyun!!" Shaking his shoulder, almost yanking it out from his body because I did it with all off my strength, he didn't even move.

And as I try to wake him, with my hands I can feel his skin is burning. Sighing loudly in desperation, now I'm swearing inside my mind. Who the hell is stupid enough to sleep barechested in the beginning of winter days like this?

I don't have the patient and couldn't even think I just pulled the blanket and wrap him with the blanket, feeling like a mother to her childish son. I sit on the bed with my back to the wall. Then protectively, I take him to my embrace, and I leaned my head on his. Slowly, I rubbed his arms, his back, yet he still not even awake. All I can feel is that he's shivering under the blanket.

My eyes suddenly felt warm, and something fell on to my cheek. I whispered to him although I know he wouldn't hear it, "Jonghyun-ah, don't be like this, okay?"

I cursed myself to not listening to my heart says when my boss assigned me to go out of town two weeks ago. I should have stay here with him, at that time he's broken already.

Of course I knew the one that makes him like this. Oh it's not me. Definitely not me. A descent and sweet looking young lady caused all of this. She successfully broke this man's heart by leaving him.

“One day you will love again.” I said to him on his ear, hoping that he might hear it.

Jonghyun is witty and his acts is almost too cute for his face, also he could be the most sensitive guy you've ever met, I'm not saying this because I knew him for a long time but he really is a good person.  It's not that I love him since forever like in a movie, because ironically I realized that he's the person I need the most when his girlfriend, Jieun came to me and tell me one sentence, "You were born only for him, you know."

Wiped my eyes, I looked at him who is still sleeping in my arms.

“Yah. You know that we’re inseparable, right? As a pair of troublemaker for our parents, as a partner in crime, as a shoulder to cry on for each other. And you know I love you already.. so why don’t you see my love differently?”

He seems to mumble something in his sleep, and I just realized something.

One thing that might happen to you when you have a fever.

One thing that would happen if your heart is broken.

A nightmare.

A horrible one.

He must be in an unconscious state because of the fever, but it's almost like he doesn't want to wake up. I once have a worst kind of heartbreak, so I know how it feels.

What’s killing you more about this kind of nightmare is not only because you cant run from it, but it’s because unconsciously you didn’t want to be awake. It's like you don't want to wake up to realize that this is real, yet the only thing you would hope is to be lost in the other realm.

Whenever you’re in that state, your heart is longing for someone to pull you out from it.

To help you see the sun shine again.

To tell you that life can be full again.

But the thing is.. deep down you still hoping that this someone, is the person that broke your heart.

And that’s when you realized you’re back to the zero point.

You’re standing at the beginning again, without seeing any light in the end.

I don’t want to leave him for even a second, but I have to get a wet towel to reduce his fever. And also some medicine.

“Jonghyun-ah? Wait for me, okay? It’s just something you always do, right?” Yes, as he’s the boy, he’s the one whose our parents pointing out to be in charge with the bicycle on our elementary school days, so he always wait for me and my after school activity. And he always waits for me every time he needs a tutorial session during junior and highschool.

But one moment of him waiting for me that I couldn’t even forget is when he’s sitting in front of my apartment under the heavy rain, right after Jieun-yang decided to leave him.

She is his first love, they start to going out since the beginning of our college days, but now,  4 years after that, suddenly she wants to break up.

You might wonder, whether I was mad at her or not because of this, oh yes, rather than saying that I’m mad, I was furious. But as I heard her explanation, I realize that she’s not leaving him because she doesn’t love him anymore. She just doesn’t want him to cry when she leaves this world as she revealed her condition to me.

I felt nothing but sympathy for her.

Although deep in my heart, I’m even more furious at her because now I have to face something even bigger; hiding the truth about the real reason of his broken heart.

“Don’t worry, soon as he realizes he loves you more than he loves me, you won’t feel guilty anymore.” That’s what Jieun said to me before we said goodbye.

As now I walked out from his place to buy some medicine, I sighed.

Now tell me how can I heal his broken heart if I, myself, couldn’t face him properly because of what I hide behind my smile?

--

With the medicine in my hand, I walk into Jonghyun’s place once again only to find that he’s awake.

“Jong-“ I didn’t finished his name because I was choked when I was still standing at his bedroom door.

I felt relieved but also didn’t know what to do. All I want is just to run to him and round my hand to embrace him, but his empty stare prevents me to do so.

“You’re here.” He speaks out, and reaching out his hand for me to take.

I cleared my throat and walk to approach him.

His sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a t-shirt and the blanket I wrapped around him was abandoned on the sheets.

“You’re okay now?” I asked him carefully as he held my hand like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You have a fever and you’re drinking too much.” I chuckled.

He’s staring at me without saying anything as then I continued, “You need to eat, and then drink this medicine.” As I showed him what I brought on my hand.

“Why did you look so tired?” He messed his hair, but he comments on me.

Trying to laugh, I answered, “I went here straight from the airport, silly. Of course I’m tired.”

“Airport? Where did you go?” He frowned.

But then I did the same. As I’m frowning, I sat beside him on the mattress. “I went to Tokyo, remember? I thought you’d remember as I call you before I leave-“

“Ah, right.” He nods, “Sorry, you know how forgetful I can be.”

Jonghyun is not really a forgetful person. Not that I know.

“I even forget your birthday once.” He chuckled.

… I tried to recall but there’s no way he would forget my birthday since it’s the same as his father’s.

“Yah, you have a fever, just get back to sleep.” I said, “Even though you smell like crazy, just forget the idea of getting a shower, you’re burning like hell.”

By the time I finished the sentence, he pulls me in a hug. He almost suffocates me, but I try to bear it.

Patted his back, I hear him whispering, “You just leave for a while yet feels so long. Thanks for always with me.”

I smiled and reply at him, “You’re welcome. You know I will never leave.”

Still in his embrace, as he buried his head on my shoulder, I know that he’s smiling when he said, “But I often dream that you will.”

Before I can even absorb the meaning of his words, he continued, “And I could never awake if it’s not for the hope that you’ll stay, Jieun-ah.”

Jieun-ah.

Jieun.

Oh.

So now everything’s clear to me.

I kissed his cheek softly just to show how much I care and as I always wanting to do so even though my heart now is breaking into pieces.

“It felt like it’s been a while since you kissed me.” He smiled while he’s staring at me.

He’s staring at Jieun. Not me.

“It’s like a nightmare, you know, to feel like there’s no more kiss from you.” Good, now he can joke again.

I smiled.

In tears.

He hugged me and both of us lying on the bed. He nuzzled to me as I felt numb.

Leaning his head on my chest, he said, “Your heart is thumping.” His tone is almost like he’s surprised.

“How cute you are, Jieun.” He laughs a bit as I didn’t say anything.

I’m just staring at the white ceiling while he continues to talk to me.

I never thought that things would be this way.

Jonghyun is trapped in his nightmare without having an alarm to wake him up.

I tried to be one, yet now I was drag by him, and trapped even more than I already is.

Without knowing when I can go back.

At least, in this nightmare he loves me when Im not myself.

It makes me almost didn’t want to wake up.

I will throw any alarm clock away from him. From me.

For now.

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Im back again! now with Jjong's story :)

I like his newest look, and I have to admit that I grew to love the lyrics he wrote too..

I hope you all enjoy this story.. and see you in my other short stories!!

lovelovelove,

Z