XVIII. (3) Disadvantages

D i s a d v a n t a g e 1 : B l a c k o u t .

What did I even expected to happen? It wasn't like I'd have recalled everything after I woke up. And the worst thing was my headache that was killing me.

"Hyu~ung~" I whined.

Immediately my favorite hyung appeared in the doorway of my room in his apartment. "What now?"

"My head still hurts!" I stuck my lips out and pouted. It was the nth time I called him to decrease the pounding in my head.

He skipped towards the edge of my bed. "And I already gave you painkillers. There's nothing more to do than to wait."

I wiggled myself in the blanket. "Don't speak so loud!" I exclaimed.

"I come back later, okay? Bye." Seyong hyung wanted to have a walk with Chaejin hyung.

'Left alone. It .'

I groaned and tried to remember what happened last night on Myungsoo's party. But nothing came in my mind. There was a black hole that ate all my memories. And I seriously didn't know who I was when I woke up with a stranger (Seyong hyung) next to me sitting on a chair.

'At least, I've not amnesia. But did you even get amnesia when you drank too much?'

I furrowed my eyebrows.

'As if!'

I groaned again.

'I'm talking to myself. It's official: I'm going crazy.'

I closed my eyes and massaged my temples.

'I should go and visit Myungsoo. Maybe I get my memory back there.'

"I'm soooo sorry!" Myungsoo bowed thousand times and was now kneeling in front of me.

I didn't know what was going on. The blackout remained in my head, even after I arrived at Myungsoo's house and stepped in. "Why?" I asked confused.

"You know... Niel..." he mumbled and played with the hem of his shirt nervously.

By the name his best friend, the black hole in my head started to vanish. Though, I only could see Niel sitting on someone and kissing this person. "What's with him?" I tilted my head still confused.

Myungsoo's cheeks reddened. "I-i.....I-i....w-w-we......" I saw his inner struggles.

"Just spit it out, Myung." I smiled.

The latter shut his eyes close, clenched his hands into fists and shouted too loud, "WE KISSED!"

I didn't know what to say, my mind was filled with the picture of the both eating each other in the kitchen. But after a few seconds of sitting motionless on the couch in the living room, I started to burst out laughing.

'What's wrong with Niel and Myungsoo kissing?? He loves him!'

"Yah!" I chuckled, trying to stifle the laughter to escape my mouth. "What's wrong with you?!?" A big smile made placed itself on my lips.

Myungsoo (obviously taken aback by my actions) hide his face behind his hands, his ears were colored a deep red. "OWMAGWAD! OWMAGWAD! OWMAGWAD!" he muttered.

"Don't you love him?" I asked amused. "You both just made the first step of being a couple. Nothing bad, you know."

The younger shook his head. "H-he....." By now, I was sure he was crying.

'But why?'

I extended my arms to his figure and took him in my embrace. "What's wrong with making out with him?"

He sniffed, "D-dun-no....the wo-worst is that I ca-can't remember, i-if we did it...."

'Ahh.. Interesting..'

"I woke up na-nak-ed..." he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "...next to his b-bare che-chest...!" He looked at me with teary eyes. "What if.....what if I took away his ity without him and myself knowing?!?" His eyes widened at the thought. "What if h-he hates me now??"

"Calm down, you're worse than a girl!" I snickered and cupped his face. "He loves you, for sure! Go for it!"

"B-but.."

"No, Myung! Tell him what you're feeling for him."

"Bu-but.."

"Niel will understand it!"

"What will I understand?"

Our heads spun to the direction the voice came from and there he stood: Ahn Daniel.

Everything seemed to stand still. Myungsoo and me stared at Niel who was staring back at us. The latter raised one eyebrow and yet another one, then he opened his mouth to say something else.

"And who are you?"

My eyes widened. I totally forgot to dress up as a girl. With everything going on this was the last thing I could think of.

"And .. Why are you so close?"

Out of reflex, I removed my hands from Myungsoo's face and backed away from him to increase the space between us.

"Myung?"

I saw Niel approaching my boyfriend and noticed he hadn't a shirt nor had he his own clothes on. Myungsoo's sweatpants fitted him even though they were a bit too wide.

"Myung..soo?"

Myungsoo looked at everything but his best friend, maybe too ashamed of the things they could've done last night. When Niel was about to touch his shoulder he flinched and shut his eyes close. He was afraid, more than afraid. He feared that was the end of everything.

"Hey." I patted the back of his hand that was clenched into a fist. "Everything's fine."

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Niel was impatient. He shot me death glares, obviously disliking how near I was (his) Myungsoo.

I slang an arm around the latter's shoulder to steady his broken walls. "You know, if he's not ready, you can't expect him to speak up."

"And who the are you to him?" my boyfriend's best friend crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Don't.." A faint whisper came from Myungsoo. "He's...a good friend."

He frowned. "And why do I not know him?!?"

"Because.. Because.."

Myungsoo seemed to have problems to find an answer so I helped him. "Because we know each other over the internet. And we just found out that his girlfriend is my cousin." I smiled.

By the mention of Sangmin, Niel was about to explode. "Ah." He bit his lips. And then it suddenly burst out of him, "THEN WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT?!? AM I NOTHING TO YOU?!?"

Myungsoo couldn't hold it back anymore and stood up, facing his love. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY! ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE KISSED!"

And the it happened again, Niel slapped Myungsoo another time. The sound echoed in the living room and the only thing that overtoned it were Niel's heavy breaths.

"Don't you dare....talk to me again!" And with that he left a heartbroken Myungsoo falling on his knees with tears pouring down his face.

I didn't think this would escalate in that way. I thought they were going to make up. But it went more than different and I sure was heartbroken as well as I saw Myungsoo crying his heart out.

It was like a bad movie were there wouldn't be a happy end for anyone.

As I sat there not moving an inch I had a flashback. Sungjong was crying and shouting at me, his tears almost let me get weak again. That was everything I got to remember.

I shook my head and patted Myungsoo's head. I stood up and tried to carry him (what was more than exhausting) because I didn't want to have a crying boy in the living room choking on his own tears. I went upstairs and lay him down on his bad, caressing his right cheek and removing the hair out of his eyes.

As I looked at his fragile figure lying there with the covers covering half of his face, another flashback came into my mind. Sungjong was on top of me, his lips brushed my neck and his hands were burning my skin he was touching. I mistook him for to be Myungsoo and then he said, "I love you."

'Clear your mind, Sungyeol.'

I sat on the cold floor, gazing at Myungsoo's peaceful face. I recalled everything that happened last night. All the kisses, touches and 'I love you's. It was stuck in my mind on replay, there wasn't a stop button for it. My heartbeat increased and my face burned. A silly grin was grazing my lips and I couldn't stop myself from giggling like a high school girl.

'Yep, I'm definitely going crazy.'

D i s a d v a n t a g e 2 : R e g r e t s .

"Aish! Why doesn't he answer his phone?!?"

It was anordinary day.

'Lol. Scratch that (author-nim).'

It wasn't anything like this. Not at all. I was busily trying to reach Sungjong over his phone after I listened to my heart that always missed a beat when I thought about Sungjong and his lips and his voice and his hands and hi-tech... Okay, I liked him, a lot, I also could say I love him but that went too far. It was way too early to admit it, my prid