I ran my hands through the pants pockets as I tried to suppress the tears but in vain. I couldn’t make the tears stop. I wanted to stop the tears but my pain was bigger. I never lied to Zelo, I don’t like lies but I had to lie and it is destroying my heart. The tears that my eyes have seen falling from the eyes of Zelo was like whips in my heart. Knowing that I was the cause of his tears and knowing that the pain that he’s feeling at the moment is because of me, it destroys my soul. I put my trembling hands in my trouser pockets and my phone vibrated. I sniffled a bit and took the phone from the pocket. I looked at the screen and wiped some tears that obscured my vision. I had received a message and it was from Daehyun.

Daehyun: ‘______-ah, I know you must be sad right now so I'll say the eighth step per message.

Eighth step: kiss him on the lips.

I hope you two get well.'

My vision became more blurry and I put the phone in the pocket. How can I kiss him? How can I look at him and say 'hey, I was lying, I didn’t mean what I said.' I'm not doing this eighth step. I know this should probably be one of the most important steps and also because it’s the penultimate step but I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t even know why I wanted to do these steps. Everything now seems so surreal.

“______-ah.” I heard my name being whispered softly and then I felt two strong and welcoming arms embracing my back. I knew who it was. I knew perfectly this touch. I knew exactly who it was, this voice. I knew that this person was my love, the person I love the most and the person I hurt minutes ago, Zelo. "______-ah, no, no." I heard his plaintive voice pronounce close to my ear. His mismatch breath swung a few strands of my hair that were behind my ear. "I want you to tell me why." He asked, squeezing even more the hug and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. How will I tell him that I'm not tired of him? How will I say that it's a lie what I said? And above all, how can I make the eighth step?

“Zelo..” I said his name in a whisper and a few people passed us, and whispered something when they saw that Zelo of BAP was with me. Oh no, we have to go to another place, a place where people don’t see us or aren’t curious enough to see what we are doing or listen to what we are talking. "Come with me." I took off one of his hands that was clinging to my body and pulled it lightly. He looked at me and we both started walking in silence. As we walked, I looked to everywhere trying to find a place that didn’t have a lot of people. Finally, I found a perfect spot. There was nobody around, and a soothing wind ran through the leaves, making the place more beautiful. I approached the tree and stopped, releasing the hand of Zelo.

"______, please, stop with this silence and tell me what's going on." He asked, approaching me and I stepped back, leaning my back in the tree. I looked into his bright eyes due to crying and sighed. Every time I saw his face contort with sorrow, my heart was missing a beat. Oh God, why do I put myself in this situation?

“Mian.” I whispered more to myself than to him, and he sniffed. I looked at the ground and a leaf of the tree swayed in the wind, falling beside my foot. I felt like that leaf. Sad and helpless. “Mian.” I asked again and honestly, I was already hating myself for not being able to say anything more than an excuse.

"I told you to stop apologizing because excuses don’t make the time retreat." He said in a serious tone, and stopped in front of me. Our bodies were inches away. I wanted so much to hug him but I couldn’t. I still couldn’t. “______.” He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face. Our eyes met and I saw another small teardrop slipping down his cheek. I bit my lower lip, trying to keep the tears arise, in my eyes. “Wae?” He asked with feeling in his voice, a sad feeling, and a feeling which I wasn’t accustomed to see him feel.

"I'm stupid Zelo." I stammered weakly, barely moving the lips and our eyes met again. "I'm so stupid for saying nonsense and hurt the person I love." I said a little louder, without taking my eyes from his. I really, at this point, felt stupid for several reasons. He put a hand on the tree to support himself, causing me to see more closely his tears and his bright eyes. "I'm stupid for saying things that I don’t even feel." I put a hand on my chest and felt a slight tingling in my nose, a sign that the tears were coming. "I'm stupid." I repeated the words once again. He passed with his fingers on my cheek and I closed my eyes, feeling his gentle touch calming my heart a little.

"I'm also stupid." He whispered and I opened my eyes, only to see his lip trembling slightly. "I'm stupid for knowing that I haven’t given you the rightful value." He sighed and bit his lower lip with his perfect and white teeth. "I'm stupid for knowing that I just limit myself to cry." He wiped a small tear that fell from his eye, and sniffed. "I'm stupid for knowing that I'll lose the one I love." He said the last words in a whisper and looked directly into my eyes. A tear was unable to form in my eyes. Next thing I knew, his fingers were wiping some of my tears that bathed my face. "I don’t wanna lose you jagiya." He passed with his right hand on his face and my eyes widened slightly when I hear the word 'jagiya', this was a word that I loved when it was pronounced by him and he knows it perfectly. "Please don’t get tired of me." He said in a sad tone and I couldn’t stop my body. In the blink of an eye and hugged him tightly and buried my face in his chest.

"I.. I also don’t want to lose you, Zelo." I said thickly. I was ashamed to look at him because right now I was sending my pride very far away. "I'm sorry for what I said Zelo. It's a lie. I'm not tired. I want to be with you.. I.. I want to continue with our relationship.. I want you to be my boyfriend forever." I said too fast as my fingers gripped his shirt tightly, making some creases on the edge of the sweater. He hugged my shoulders and rested his chin on the top of my head.

"It's okay, since you don’t repeat it." I heard him sigh with relief and the wind shook a bit our sweaters. "You know, I found something." He said, pulling his chin from my head and I lifted my face to look into his eyes. "That we're both stupid." He smiled gently wiping the remnants of his tears. "Does stupidity is transmitted?" He asked a little more excited and cutely.

“Hmmm..” I put a finger on the chin pretending that I was thinking. "I don’t think so." I said, turning my eyes to him. He shrugged and gave a small laugh, completely changing the environment around us. I no longer felt weight on my chest.

"If transmits or not, I don’t want to know, and you know why?" He asked and I shook my head as my answer. "Because you can only transmit your stupidity with me." He said in a whisper and then eliminated the space that was between our faces, landing softly his lips on mine. I just stood there at the beginning because it hadn’t passed through my head that he would kiss me, although the eighth step told me to kiss him. When he was going to move away his face and our lips apart, I put one hand behind his neck and pulled him to me, deepening the kiss and feeling the sweet taste of his lips.

Eighth step:

I got you back.

2 more! I'm excited!