Back to work, it was hard to concentrate again.  I had enjoyed myself in Malaysia.  For quite a while i i had not felt genuinely happy, but seeing SS501's zeal for life got me thinking.

 

Was it worth it to ruin my whole life ahead for someone whom i knew in my past?  Going on blindly, plunging myself in work, not taking care of things like appearance, makeup, having fun.

For almost eight years now i have not been able to be myself.  I think of Cyn, the blubbly girl that she was, i was like her once.  But death makes people change.  Will i be able to move on?

I close my eyes and get out of the bathtub.  I sigh, missing the nice big swimming pool already. Maybe i should shift in a better appartment? its not like i lack the money!

On the top of my bed, lay a solitary gift box.   i had not dared open it.  Wrapped in pale blue, it gave me a feeling of serenity whenever i looked at it.

*****Flashback******

On our last night in Malaysia, I sat on the backyard bench, gazing at the stars when Kyu Jong silently sit besides me.  As always, i never knew when he came.

He looked at me and smiled, a beautiful, gentle smile.  I smiled back.  "We go back tomorrow" he said, eyes towards the sky.  I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Yeah.  It was some wonderful time we spent together" i said and he nodded.  "You are the best star gazing companion" he said out of the blue.  

"Thats...a unique compliment" i said, not knowing what else to reply to that.  

"I will certainly miss you" he said and it should have come as a surprise when a guy i barely knew for a week to say that.  But deep down, my heart gave a little jolt.  
 

I gave a small smile and went back to star gazing.  I never knew when he went back.  It was only when i felt the cool wind that i realised he was not here.  Instead, a small wrapped gift lay there, on the seat.  "Star gazer" was the only thing written on it.

****Present day*****

I still dared not open it.  It was mostly because i loved this feeling of curiosity and apprehension.  I did not want anything to do with any guy but it was also very much intriguing to see what he might have gifted me.

I mustered my courage and slowly unwrapped the gift box.  Inside was a garland of small stars which was apparently fluorescent.  
Inside there was a small note, in English 

"It might be difficult to stargaze in the US"

I took out the star garland and placed it on my window, tying the ends to the curtain holder.  My eyes misted and i took a deep breath.  That was a nice gesture.  It was not even signed.

 Was that rude? Or was he just too shy?  Why was i even wondering about all this?  I was grateful for the gift, but that was about it.  Feelings for a guy never led me anywhere good.  I decided to leave all the thinking at night.I got dressed and went to court. 

My court case was successful as usual.  It was so rare that i actually fought a case.  Cyn had insisted i fight Daniel's case (yes, you guessed right! Daniel Henney ^_^) what with him being her favorite celebrity.  I roll my eyes at Cyn who just could not stop smiling.  

Once in her office, i slumped on the couch.  "Am so tired!" i whine.  She looks at me weirdly.  
"How can you be tired.  You just came back from vacationing" 

"I don't know.  I just had so much fun.  Am  being lazy in starting work again" i say as i lean back and close my eyes.  Those were wonderful times that we spent together.

"Come to think of it. You did have fun.  You were not your usual boring self" she commented and i glared at her.
"Thanks"

She held her hands up.  "Just stating the obvious"

I lean back again and close my eyes.  Should i tell her about the gift? About starting to like Kyu Jong?  She will probably make a big fuss about it and undoubtedly try to hook me up with him.  I decide against it.

"By the way, what really happened?  Since Mike's death, you have been really gloomy and introverted." she said when i gave her a pointed look.  "Not that it's bad, i do understand.  But what changed for you to be your old self again?"

"Can't you just enjoy the fact that i enjoyed myself?" i asked, trying my best to avoid replying her.

"You like one of them, don't you?" she asked, narrowing her gaze at me. Oh hell! That was the drawback of having a bestfriend since forever.  She knew me too well.

"Probably.  And please let's just leave it at that" i said, still not wanting to give her the details.  She will start matchmaking again and i will have to go through those tiring hours at the saloon with her again.

"Hmmmm. Alright" she said and sat down at her desk.

What? Cyn was not pressing for more details?  That was weird.

"Alright as in you will leave it alone?" i ask her cautiously.  She can be so unpredictable sometimes.

She gives her i-got-a-secret-plan smile and just got back to her work.  I frown at her and sigh.  Not like she will ever tell me what's going on in her head.

I stand and walk to the door.  "I think i need a nap.  Am going home" i said and quietly closed the door.  Did she even hear me? The bubbly girl becomes dead serious once she starts working.

____________________________________

Cyn's POV 

You just wait Cassandra Gonzalez! I will make sure you find love again.  I think to myself as i mail my uncle.  I ask him if he has found the contacts i asked for.  Settling in Seoul was a great idea and now i know its fate that we settle there.

Her boyfriend's death made her into a workaholic and almost a recluse and i will sure as hell make sure she will snap out of it.

 I wonder which one of the boys she likes?  Jung Min would be more her old style.  Probably Hyun Jun, she seemed to like talking to him most of our time there.  I smile at that.  Cassie and Hyun Jun!

Enjoy your nap Cassie, you will really need your strength for what's about to come! I mumble as i smile at the immediate reply from my uncle.

I know this chapter was a bit boring.  I was not really motivated.  I promise the next chapter will be exciting XD
Comment and Subscribe. Oh and check out my Jung Min Oneshot.  http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/463230/letting-go-park-jung-min-one-shot-ss501