“I heard the two of you were enjoying a street date yesterday?” Jiyeon excitedly asked her best friend, who seems to be rather unwell today.

“I don’t think you could call it a date.” Jieun replied before burying her face with her palms.

“What’s wrong with you? You look sick.”

Her jet lag had just gotten worse. She can’t actually eat this morning, she misses breakfast and went for a walk to get some fresh air. All she could ever feel is the weird feeling inside her stomach, was dry, and she wants to puke. Her head was spinning around and she didn’t feel well at all. These happen two years ago, her first day in London. She suffers from a worse jet lag.

She was wearing a white blouse match with black skirt that went all the way under her knee, it actually look good on her, but her pale face made her looked like a dead body. Her lips were turning to white and her skin tone somehow turn whiter and her blouse. She looked quite a mess up, despite her effort on putting light makeup today. Well, she need to, or else people might start freaking out after seeing her.

“The jet lag, Jiyeon. I do hate travelling now.” Jieun whines, shaking her head to get rid of the headache.

“You should’ve stayed home! What are you doing here? Even I’m doing nothing here.”

“I’m bored. I can’t do anything at home.”

“Okay. Okay. Jieunnie~, I know you’re sick, but could you please tell me about your date yesterday?”

“Jiyeon-ah, I told you it’s not a date. We were just… hanging out.”

“Yeah, you were hanging out together, with feelings. So did the two of you made up?”

“No. I told you we’re just strangers now. We… don’t have feelings for each other, I guess. We can’t work it out.”

“Why? Did he reject you? He’s so dumb!”

“I’m the one who rejected him.”

“Why?! Lee Ji Eun, you’re still in love with that man! What were you thinking?”

“It’s just… I can’t, Jiyeon, not anymore. I don’t think I loved him, even if I do, I just can’t.”

“You’re running away from reality, Jieun. You’re scared to get hurt maybe that’s why you keep refusing it. Have you truly stopped loving him? You don’t want to be with him?”

“Let’s talk about this next time, Jiyeon. It has become my personal problems now. Yesterday, we clear up everything and I think it has ended.”

“Are you sure you’re not going to regret this?”

“I… Honestly, I don’t even know Jiyeon. All of this… is just too much.”

***

Myungsoo, the only man who could bring the whole world upside down once his mood turn bad. Today again, he’s being grumpy and all moody. The INFINITE could only stay silent with curiosity inside their head. He hadn’t told them anything about his date with Jieun the other day. The INFINITE is well aware, of the two secretly hanging out with each other yesterday evening.

Myungsoo looked upset and it is obvious Jieun is his reason. No one could actually make him that much upset, that much hurt, and obviously not that much blank. He usually turns harsh and annoying, but today he just stayed silent, looking out the window. He looked rather soulless and blank, it’s like all of his energy and soul have been dragged away. He didn’t let anything escape his mouth.

His eyes, it looked melancholic. As the leader of the team, Sunggyu wanted to cheer him up, yet he is aware that something would have to stay personal. Myungsoo and Jieun relationship, the INFINITE should stay out of it. Myungsoo should’ve waited a bit longer and Jieun should’ve stop running away from reality before meeting each other again. They’re taking it a bit too fast.

“Hyung, I heard you’re going out with noona the other day.” Sungjong, the one who failed to read the mood suddenly asked.

He didn’t give a clear answer, nodding without telling anything else. His gaze turns blank and rather sad. Seeing Kim Myungsoo sad is something weird, despite his usual cold and dark aura, he never really looked sad. If he ever feels that way, he’d hit all the pain and turn chic. He’d turn cold.

“How was it? Is it nice? Did the two of you make up?” Sungjong asked again, curious.

“Well, it’s just fine.”

“So, the two of you did make up! Oh, this is such great news! Its true right, the two of you did make up! So how’s your relationship now, hyung?! I should’ve brought a present for noona and hyung!” Sungjong excitedly exclaim, like an innocent children trying to stop their parents from fighting.

It took him a moment, of thrilling silence while Sungjong has to suppress all of his excitement in order not to get slapped. Myungsoo sighs, ruffling his hair like a mad man, his gaze were sharp but somehow soulless. He seems to be searching for something, trying to sort things out before giving out answers. He finally sighs, a sigh of frustration, a long and tired one.

“We just… can’t work it out.”

“What? What do you mean?” Hoya jumps in.

“Hyung, you’re lying right?!”

“Can’t work it out?! Are you in your right mind?!” Sungyeol yelled childishly.

“Guys, break it! Give him some space!” Sunggyu tried to break the commotion.

“We just can’t work it out! I told you we just can’t! No matter how hard I tried, we just can’t! What is so hard to understand something like that? It’s so simple, we can’t work it out!” Myungsoo suddenly explodes, giving shock to the members.

“Hyung…”

“She has someone else; she has that handsome perfect man, Jang Wooyoung. She’s living with him! She had moved on. I have someone else too! I have moved on! Isn’t it clear enough? We just can’t!”

“L, calm down!”

“Tsk, damn it! Sorry guys, sorry, I just… I’m… losing it.”

“Oppa~,oppa~, can I have my morning kiss? Will you take me to the prom tomorrow?” Suzy appeared out of nowhere, calling Myungsoo with her flirty tone.

“Oh, our morning ruiner has come.” Sungyeol mumbled irritatingly.

The atmosphere wasn’t good at all, it was gloomy and tense. No one was brave enough to speak the word and melt the chilly atmosphere. It was only Suzy, who can’t stop talking while L just shrugged nonchalantly. He’d fake a smile, nodding or sometimes shaking his head, but no word escapes his lips.

***

“I can’t believe prom is arriving~” Jiyeon choruses, while enjoying her lunch in the backyard with Jieun.

Jieun could only fake a smile while chewing her food, acting as if she’s not listening. Prom, she hated that word. She might not be that much horrified of the event, but still it holds something painful to her. She’d like to avoid it as much as possible, yet up to this point, she has yet to miss any prom event. Silly, right? Yet she still hates that word, for the memory it brought two years ago.

“Have you been attending prom, Jieun?” Jiyeon asked, “Jieun? Jieun? Jieun!”

“Ah, I’m sorry, what are you talking about?”

“The prom! Are you attending it?”

“I don’t know, no one has asked me.”

“So… how’s prom in London? I wonder how great it is! You do attends prom, right?”

“I do.”

“Ah, I believe boys are yearning to be your partner. I think you won’t be having trouble finding a partner for tomorrow’s event. Myungsoo will definitely asked you, if not Woohyun will.”

“He won’t. Speaking of which, where’s Woohyun?”

“I think he’s hanging out with the INFINITE. Speaking of prom, who have you been there with?” It was a long thrilling silence before Jiyeon continued, “Jang Wooyoung? Oh, it must be him. I heard you’re living with him.”

Jieun knows where this conversation will lead to. Jiyeon was being sarcastic and Jieun knows it wasn’t a good sign. She tends to turn rather sarcastic and harsh, before going to the main point and it usually become harsher. She has started all of the nonsense and worthless chats, her opening to serious and sarcastic conversation. Jieun didn’t like it for the slightest bit, arguing with Park Jiyeon isn’t an easy thing to accomplish.

“Yes, I do. How could you know that?”

“I’m the gossip queen, remember? I know everything, especially when the INFINITE knows them.”

“I acknowledge that, although I’m surprised that your relationship with the INFINITE has improved.”

“So, you’re living with him for almost two years. I heard you’re the one who rejects Myungsoo. So between you and Wooyoung, you’re dating right? Oh, you must be. Two years is all it takes for you to move on.”

“Excuse me?”

“Myungsoo was waiting for you for two long years. He’s very loyal, waiting for you, being a great man you’d love only to long for your return. He loves you for two years, despite you being away. And it only took you less than two years to find someone else to get hook up with. Surprise, Jieun!”

“Park Jiyeon, I don’t like where this conversation is going.”

“Neither do I. But I think I’m siding to Myungsoo now. He loves you, he’s loyal, yet you comeback while having someone else. You’re the one who break up with him, who chooses to leave and you’re the one who stop waiting, who stop loving and moved on so easily.”

“I never ask him to wait for me! I told him not to wait! He, too, already has someone else, Jiyeon.”

“And do you really believe that? You comeback, moving on, doing all this nonsense stranger thing, acting as if you don’t know him. How long are you going to run away from reality?”

“So you’re blaming me for moving on?”

“No, for everything.”

“Then tell me, Park Jiyeon, what did you expect from me?! What should I have done?! Tell me!!”

She explodes, yelling at her very own best friend. It wasn’t her fault, nor is it Jiyeon’s fault. She was tired from all of this nonsense, love suddenly turns more than complicated, and she’s dead tired. She wasn’t feeling well either, yet she does make mistakes. This time Jiyeon might have crossed the line but everything she has said could be considered as the truth.

***

She has been thinking about some matter, not only recently but ever since her departure to London. She was thinking about many things, from A to Z, about life, about future, and also about love. She leaves when love is everything she could ever think about, when she’s growing up to the stage of falling in love. She can’t take him off her mind and she keeps thinking hard. There are so many things she’d have to sort out but her first priority is her love life and the truth hidden behind the word love.

She thinks of love as something rather complicated, as a person her age, she thinks of love very maturely. She doesn’t want to play around with love and she’s very careful with it. She was afraid to love, for some reason she doesn’t think love existed. She comes from a broken home, a child that has failed to receive any love. She never felt loved, that’s why she had no idea of what love is.

Her parents split up, even caught up in various fight when she had just born. They were too busy to love their child that Jieun ended up being not loved by them. No one could love her as much as how her parents should. Parents’ loves are limitless while others are limited, yet she can’t feel the slightest bit love. She has always been the one loving; she loves her friends, loves her sister. The only thing she knows about love is a sisterly love, nothing more and nothing less.

She doesn’t want to love; she doesn’t want to date when she’s young. She was young, barely fifteen when love comes to her, followed by a series of event that confused her. She was very young that sometimes it made her wonder if this is truly loved. She doesn’t know what love is, what love meant, she act based on her heart and urge. Sometimes she wonders if this is truly love or this is just lust. Is she ready to love? She keeps thinking about it for two years, long enough to solve and sort out things.

She was scared to get hurt. As a human being, getting hurt isn’t a choice she’d like to pick. Because of love, she got hurt a lot, yet sometimes the happiness are extreme. She met other boys, handsome, tall, with well-built body and gentle manner. It makes her think a lot, of the possible choices, whether she should move on or should she get stuck with one boy at the other part of the world.

She doesn’t have any idea on what’s going on in the other part of the world, how he’s doing or has he moved on yet. She doesn’t know at all, after all she cut off her connections. She told him clearly not to wait, not to love her anymore and just move on. She doesn’t know how much she meant to him, how much he holds her dear, or how hard it would be for him to move on, but she knows one of them will have to move on now or later. Rather than getting stuck with one man who she no longer know, she decided to move on, but honestly she never moves on. Part of her still loves that man.

And again, it made her think. She has been living with Wooyoung for various reasons, although she didn’t refuse his offer to live with him. Wooyoung, she knows he still loved her and first love isn’t something easy to forget. She may have dated Myungsoo but part of her could feel the dimming sparks of first love. He’s a caring guy, well-mannered, and he loves her so much. He loves her so much that finally she could feel loved.

It made her think whether she should love someone foolishly or rationally, with brain and smart thinking. She’d have dated Wooyoung, if she ever chooses to love rationally, with much thinking and brain using. He’s a great man, not to mention reach. His future is unconditionally bright, he has his own business and he knows her well enough. He knows her family; she could meet her mom by dating him. He loves her and she felt loved, he could guarantee happiness for the rest of her life. If she ever chooses to love someone rationally, then these great things would happen.

She’d have stayed and dated Myungsoo, she be stuck with her love for him without the will and strength to move on. She’d have spent days of crying, thinking over him, and living with pain. If she ever chooses that, will it be right? Which one should she choose? Myungsoo can’t promise her anything. He couldn’t guarantee her happiness, nor could she feel loved. Yet if happiness ever come to their love story then the happiness would be overwhelming, more than what could she dreamt of or what could she felt when she’s with Wooyoung. And now here she is, with questions inside her head.

***

“Should I get stuck with one man? Should I never move on? Should I spent my days miserably?! Which one should I choose? Should I loved someone foolishly or love someone rationally?! Tell me, Jiyeon! Tell me!”

It was a long silence, with Jieun gasping for air. She had never yelled before, not in two years. No matter how annoying things turn out to be, she never yelled. She’d hide it all, regaining her composure in no time. But Park Jiyeon had crossed the line today. She made everything she does seems wrong. It confused her even more.

“I – I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you. It’s just…” she buried her face with her palms, “everything is confusing.” Jieun sighs.

“No, it’s okay. I think I cross the line.”

“Hey, Jieun! Lee Ji Eun, would you go out with me?!” A man voice yelled, surprising the two ladies.

***

Prom, Myungsoo have been avoiding that thing for years. He has never attended it before, especially when his memories regarding prom are bad memories. The INFINITE used to ask him out, to gather up and hang out without any girls to fill their brain, but he’s always refusing it. He could never face prom anymore, after Jieun departure to London, departing from his life.

Now, time do pass quickly. He could never imagine that tomorrow will be the prom event. She’s here, Lee Ji Eun, she’s back to his life, yet the situation has changed. It’ll be painful for him, to see her with other man during prom. But he doesn’t have the courage to ask her out; especially when they both have clears up their relationship. No matter how hard he tried, they won’t be able to work it out.

“Oppa, don’t you want to take me to the prom?” Suzy asked, pouting her lips.

“Oppa~, let’s go to the prom together. I’ll let you do anything you want. Okay?” Suzy clings to him.

He almost glares at her. Each year, Suzy would force him to take her to the prom but he’ll always refuse. She’d do anything to make him invites her to the prom. This girl, no matter how flirty she is, Myungsoo just can’t help but use her even more, especially during time like this. He’s broken now and he needed Suzy to be somehow useful. He’s cruel; she should’ve known it better before taking the bait.

“You know I don’t go to prom right? It’s stupid.”

“But oppa~.”

“Shut up!” He slammed the door open, with Suzy tearing up next to him.

***

Nam Woohyun was waiting for Myungsoo, being a brat as he sits on the table with both feet up. His tie was loosening, until his chest could be seen. He s his upper part of the uniform, looking like a delinquent. He was drinking some hot coffee, a bitter one, while having a fierce look. When Myungsoo enters, he quickly signals him to come closer.

“Hey, are you taking Jieun to the prom?” he asked.

“No.”

“Have you had enough of her? Do you want to hurt her even more?”

“We can’t work it out anymore. Should I care about her?”

“Kim Myungsoo, I’m warning you. I may have given up years ago, but if you ever let go, I’ll be there to catch her.”

“Wasn’t it clear enough? She rejected me.”

“And you’re giving up?” Myungsoo stiffen, “don’t blame me if I ever make her mine.”

He exited the place, with a smirk plastered all over his face. Nam Woohyun, the boy turn arrogant, leaving the INFINITE. Myungsoo was still stiff; Woohyun had just declared his war. He plans to steal Jieun from him. But is Jieun still his? Rather than stealing her it seems, he plans to make her fall for him and he’d like Myungsoo to watch it all happen.

“Hey, Suzy! I’ll pick you up at 7. I won’t wait if you’re late!”

The war had just begun.

Author Note

Again and again, hello! I updated after spending the whole day thinking about the plot and finally writing things up after post-poning several time. I stayed up late to finish this, so I hope you like it. I'll wait to hear more from you! Comments and subscribe! And for those who expects happy chapter, the next one will be a surprise!