2017

People are quick to judge and point fingers when their life fall apart, and only after some time will they start blaming themselves for everything. It's a curse, the more we hate other people, the more we plant seeds of resentment in our hearts. We all know what happens when we bury emotions, they grow each day. The same way love grows when buried in the heart, hatred is much more easier to take care of. Is it a defense mechanism or a way to cope from tragedies?

Byun Baekhyun has been familiar with it for the longest time. He can't even remember when love changed to hate, and when the hate started to be directed to himself. All he knows is that all these time, he has been punishing her for sins that can be traced back to him. At first, he thought that his love is strong enough to overcome the hatred and clean the slate, but it's not.

Four years ago, during the weeks he watched her motionless body in the hospital, his love was overflowing. He prayed and prayed to whoever is listening to him that she will wake up, if she wakes up, he will move forward. with her. After all, it's not completely her fault. But the moment she opened her eyes and apologized to him, it dawned on him that a life they created together will never see the sunrise. That he will never be able to hear her or him talk.

All he wanted was to move forward with their lives together, as a couple. He was willing to possibly jeopardize his rising career as an idol to announce his relationship with her, he was willing to do anything. But for some reason, he wasn't able to do any of it.

Every single day he tried to reconnect with her, he can't help but see the lifelessness of her eyes. She may have woken up, but she didn't live. A part of her died with their unborn child. That's when resentment started to build on him, was he not enough for her? Did she not trust him for her to decide on all of that? Why did she leave him on the dark? His love for her was twisted with hatred, that's how the brightness of their future were dulled.

It's 03:00 am. Baekhyun continued to toss and turn in what was once their bedroom. Nobody has really slept there for the longest time. The scent was familiar, but strange. He sighed and opened the table next to the bed to get his bottle of sleeping pills, ever since four years ago, he wasn't able to sleep well without pills. No matter how tired he was, even if he was on tours and has a packed schedule, sleeping has been the hardest.

"Tomorrow. No, early this morning, I would go to the cemetery before proceeding to my studio." He told himself before popping up three pills and slowly drifting to sleep.

----

Earlier that day in the hospital:

Luhan left the room when he saw Baekhyun walking away and Eunji was injected with a calming drug. She was hysterical, calling out for the man she loved more than her whole life before passing out. Sehun, along with the nurses, assisted Eunji back to her bed. His breathing was heavy and her eyebrows were crunched together. Luhan was silent, but he excused himself to follow Baekhyun leaving Sehun with Eunji.

"Kyungsoo will be here any moment, just watch over for a while," Luhan said before closing the door behind him. 'I need to talk to Baekhyun,'  he thought to himself and walked in the direction Baekhyun went. Along the way, he's been asking the nurses about Baekhyun.

"Oh! Mr. Byun Baekhyun, the famous idol! He's been standing in front of the elevator in the right wing for some time, now."

"I wonder, why he was asking about a female patient that was admitted here? Is she her girlfriend or maybe a family member?" One of the nurses said while giggling. They were talking about him.

Baekhyun's popularity skyrocketed after the tragedy. After all, all he ever did was work, then. And he has wrote countless song about heartache and love that was loved by his fans. The songs were mostly about him and Eunji. If he's not working on his own music, he has been writing songs for other artists which spoke of the same themes. He was known as the Heartbreak Prince in the industry. His most famous song that represented their situation was "Baby Don't Cry". Maybe, when he was writing that song was the turning point, when the blame was shifted to himself.

Luhan sighed, he felt guilty for a lot of things. His silence and neutrality that led to that situation. He know that if he only told Baekhyun what was happening, things would've been different. But he didn't, and he paid a hefty price for that.

He caught up to Baekhyun as he absentmindedly pressed the elevator buttons.

"Baekhyun!" Luhan shouted which startled the younger friend, he stared at him and smiled weakly. Luhan saw the hesitation in Baekhyun's eyes, would he runaway and avoid him? Or will they be given to talk and patch things up?

Baekhyun waited for him and they entered the elevator at the same time. He tried to start a small talk with him, asking him how he's been. Because of Luhan's guilt and complicity to the tragedy, he lost the face to talk to him. In the guise of business expansion, he went to Japan and only came back when Baekhyun called him for help. He wanted Eunji to continue her studies in the Medicine field, he asked Luhan to fix the papers and help her continue her internship in their hospital.

Icy silence engulfed the two old friends. Both were lost in the train of their thoughts. Luhan coughed a little and mustered the courage to break the ice.

"Do you mind going out for some coffee or are you busy again? We need to talk...about a lot of things. You know, catching up." Luhan faked a laugh and scratched his head in the awkwardness. His voice laced with sincerity. Baekhyun was filled with doubts and it's clear in the air. But despite that, he nodded, which immediately lighted up Luhan's face.

It's been a while, and he knows that it took a lot for Baekhyun to talk to him again. He felt shy knowing that it's too much for him to ask to rekindle their friendship, but there's no harm in trying, right? He decided to bring Baekhyun to Kyungsoo's coffee shop which is located on the other side of the street.

Back in Eunji's hospital room:

Sehun stared at the sleeping figure silently. Among their circle of friends, he was the youngest and most immature, probably the reason why he suggested that stupid idea that triggered the chain of events that led to the tragedy. For the longest time, he knows and was never in denial that he carries the biggest sin in all of them. It was his words that gave Eunji the idea. He never thought something could go wrong that he would