Don't Jump, Do Jump

Antidepressant

 

“Minseok!” I screamed as I saw his lifeless body before my eyes. He was lying on the pavement, face hidden because it was turned against the ground. His body was twisted in every possible way and if he’d still be alive it wouldn’t have taken long time before he’d pass out from the pain he would be in.

There was blood. It was pooling around Minseok’s small body. I thought I was standing close to him, but suddenly I found myself standing on the roof of a tall building. I was outside of the safety zone and I looked down on the ground. I saw two ambulances with their sirens screaming that loud sound and it hurt my ears. A crowd of people surrounded a body sprawled out on the pavement. It was difficult to actually identify it as a body because it was splattered out on the ground, so it actually looked more like a pool of blood, bones and flesh. There were people crying and people they didn’t knew were comforting them. The ambulance men were trying to see what they could do to save the body, but they’d already lost before they even arrived. They’d lost before the person even hit the ground.

Suddenly I heard something resembling a whisper and I looked around to see if there was anyone. There wasn’t. I looked down and then I saw the crowd looking up at me.

“Don’t jump,” was what an almost silent whisper told me. I soon noticed that it was the crowd that yelled at me, but I only heard it as a whisper, because I couldn’t hear them clearly since the distance between us was so big.

“Do jump,” I heard another whisper, a louder whisper than before. The voice was also different. It was frightening and I’d heard it before.

Without even noticing I neared the edge and let myself fall forwards. It felt like it was flying and for the first time in a really long time I finally felt free. I could do what I wanted and nothing could hold me back. I smiled. I saw the ground inching closer and closer for each millisecond. The gravity pulled me down and it also slowly pulled the spirit out of me. Right before I hit the ground everything blackened out.

I sat up faster than I’d ever done before. I quickly kicked the covers off of me. The cold air attacked my sweaty body and made shivers go down my spine and my entire body broke out in goose bumps. My breathing was uncontrollable and my hands clustered to my bare chest right above my heart. It was pounding and pounding, it almost felt like it would jump out of place, maybe even break my ribcage, even though it wasn’t physically possible. It felt like my head was about to explode, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

Minseok had been there. It was hard to identify him as Minseok, but I knew it was him. How could I not identify my boyfriend’s back? I’ve seen it so many times before, even felt it with my hands. I would know whenever I saw his back. This time I just saw his lifeless back, all slumped. I couldn’t get the picture out of my head; Minseok was lifeless, dead. If I’d seen his face it would have been expressionless, it would be full of blood and open wounds. His eyes would be lifeless too; like glass eyes, beautiful brown glass eyes that would suit a doll. He would look like a doll; pale like china. He would be truly beautiful, but to be honest I liked him more when he was living.

I got out of bed and the back of my thighs froze when they came in contact with the cool air. I couldn’t move and my legs felt numb. Everything swirled and then I fell back onto the bed. Suddenly the covers got over me again and it felt like time got rewound. I was lying down again, the covers all the way up to my chin and that was when I saw it. I saw this big dark cloud or shadow hovering above me. I could make out its arms. The thing merged together with the black room and I could feel how everything suddenly went a degree or two down. Its fingers tried to grab me. I wanted to reach out and try to touch it, but I was afraid it would grab me and never let go. It would probably eat me or maybe it would posses me. I don’t know which one that seemed most pleasing.

Its fingers grazed my cheek and the spot turned icy cold. I closed my eyes tightly and closed my mouth. I could feel it feeling up my body; every spot it touched turned into ice. My body reacted on its own accord and my arms began waving furiously in the air and my eyes opened again. I watched how the shadow disappeared, slowly vanishing into the other shadows, not that it made me calm down one bit.

I quickly pulled the covers over my head and it felt so suffocating to be in such a dark and small place, but it was better than to be in the big room with the shadows crawling on me. I could feel the covers weighing down on my body; it was probably the creature that hovered above me before.

A whisper got heard and I wasn’t sure if it was inside my head or if it was coming from the thing above me: “It’s your turn soon.”

 

 


A/N: This fic isn't supernatural, so use your brain to find out what this creature is :)

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dane123
{May 10th} [Antidepressant] I changed the description, so feel free to re-read it :)

Comments

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Chloexomin #1
Chapter 7: wow it was just amazing and weighing to read ... wow this end ...
Chloexomin #2
Chapter 4: * Me reading * this crazy talent I love too much * Me at the end reading ugly and Minsoek in the same sentence * Please take it off now * ?
sweetestsuga #3
Chapter 7: and this is how i feel 24/7
looshyhooshy #4
Chapter 7: I liked this a looot as a realist..
It was REALLY WELL WRITTEN!!
I felt so sorry for Luhan to feel this huge emptiness it isn't good .. I was having such different weird feelings while reading this that I can't even recognize!
I can't help but thinking of Minseok how he'd feel how he'll be so shocked .. seconds ago the poor kid was happy thinking that the pills did a good job with his boyfriend </3 ..
So sorry for Luhan that he had to end up this way ..
I really wanted to know what an excuse or a goodbye note Luhan had left for his Minseok!I
liked this one very much and your description made me think are u a doctor or studying Medicine?!
Anyways..
I loved ..
felt it ..
how depressed Lohan was and how much he was struggling ..
well done dear auther ..
fighting .. I think I'll look in your other works ^^
XiuLex #5
Can u do a horror and romance story About the real side of xiumin and the pairing will be n an OC x Xiumin plz?! *puppy eyes*
JoshuaJHong
#6
Chapter 7: Aish, poor Luhan and his empty feeling. It takes a lot to want to commit suicide and Luhan was just going through what a lot of people feel when they go through with killing themselves. I don't mean everyone but a lot of it is emptiness or the realization that "I'm gonna die anyway, I rather die now." This was really good because even though it is fiction, it is real for some people. As a realist, I enjoyed it so much. Some people just don't understand how dark life can be or the minds of some people. You did so well grasping the idea. Human behavior is amazingly interesting.
JoshuaJHong
#7
Chapter 5: Your imagination is the strongest thing that will destroy you n I bet the shadow is exactly Luhan's imagination. Wow, that's scary. Poor Luhan orz going to read on now!
Kaynne #8
Chapter 7: eu não gostei do final, mas a história é boa e você escreve muito bem.
XiuHan4evaH
#9
Chapter 7: i regret reading this seriously! my rate 0/10. Worst XiuHan fic ever. not because of what happen to lulu but because there's only 0.1% of happiness in this fic it doesn't have life or even light or hope or whatver positive things you might think of.. Its like a fic that only suicidal people could enjoy/appreciate!
zelozi
#10
Chapter 7: wha.. wha.. what.. my..
WHY?! AH! MY FEEL! I'M BROKEN ENOUGH!
WHY LUHAN? WHY U MUST..
ARGH!
touching me when Luhan still thinking abt Minseok' future like he wanna someone better than him to be with Minseok
but no one better than Luhan, hic hic
i can feel in the end Luhan can Love Minseok, n thats not just Like, but Love, true love (or maybe bcuz i'm a xiuhan hard shipper? idk)
this just my brain, i think i'm depressed now
thx for amazing fanfic TwT