When you arrived you were instantly blinded with the flashing lights from the cameras.  Any artist would be sick of this light, but for you they felt like magic.  A magic you missed so much because you had taken a long break from your schedules because of your pregnancy.

 You tried the best you could for not to wobble across the red carpet with Yongguk.  You took a couple of pictures with him doing different posses and such.  But then he let go of your hand because the photographers requested pictures of only you. That’s when everything got wild.

“___________shi you look amazing!” “___________ love the dress” “Look over here ___________shi” “Always looking y _________shi”

At that last comment from the paparazzi you had to laugh.  You looked at him doing a little y wink and said,

“You mean like a y whale” With that everyone laughed, even Yongguk. y… For you that word was a trade mark.  Everyone in your group had a role and yours was the ‘Exotic  Leader’. 

You're husband kissed you on your forehead and whispered on your ear, “You sure look y in that green dress.  Sadly, I have to go take some pictures with the guys”

“So soon” You pouted.  Then you heard your Manager calling for you to take your pictures with your group, Mosaic.  Being their group leader it was somehow natural.  You were also their main vocal.  Actually, you were well known in the industry because of those high notes only you could reach.

In a blink of an eye you were at the dressing room getting ready.  The other four girls were doing their makeup, except for Tawny who was by your side like always.  You wobbled by the rack of clothes they were going to wear.  You went and ran your fingers through the fabrics, missing the way they used to accentuate your every curve.  But you are a mom now, things had to change.

"You look amazing Tawny unnie.  All the boys are going to go crazy with your long legs and those high heels.  Specially, Youngjae.” You pointed out while chuckling. You knew she was going to blush. 

“Yah ________ah stop it” She pushed your arms lightly while hiding her red face from you. 

You took a deep breath when you heard one of the coordinoonas saying the girls were going on five.  This was the MAMA Awards.  Inside you were dying to perform the new single from your come back.  But now it was physically impossible because it was one of the most complicated dances your group was going to perform.  You were going to sing in one part but not dance and it was very frustrating. 

You wanted to lead them and protected them like you always did. However, you trusted Tawny with this role, although she was against it when you told her to be the new leader while you were away.  You watched how they moved in the darkness of one of the stairs. Every pop and lock they did made you feel like a proud mama with her girls.  You guys have come a long way.  You held your breath wishing things were going to be fine because in seconds you were going to come out of the shadows.  That’s when you felt someone taking your hand,

“Baby, please be careful going down stairs. I don’t want you to get hurt. Araso?”  You saw how Yongguk's eyes were filled with worry.  He let go of your hand and placed it on your belly, doing little circles with this his thumb.

“Yah Oppa your not suppose to be here! Besides there only like fives steps but thanks.” You gave him a quick peck knowing that seconds were ticking by and soon the stairs that you where standing were going to light up. 

Your voice came booming like flames and the crowd responded like firecrackers. You heard your name screamed so loudly it was driving you insane with adrenaline. From downstairs you saw Tawny waiting for you and she gave you a wink.

‘Damn it I still got it.’ You thought to yourself while going downstairs. “Okay a few more steps and…Ahh!” The spotlight blinded your eyes and it made you trip on the last step.  Your Mary Jane shoes felt like six inches tall making you twist your ankle.  You instantly protected the baby by wrapping your arms across your abdomen.  In that split of a second your heard the gasps from the crowd and you awaited the pain it was going to come next. 

But  Tawny threw herself on the floor killing your fall.  She held you tight and your heard her groan from underneath you.  In another split of a second, two new arms made you carefully stand up.

“____________ah _______________ah are you alright?! My God the baby, did he got hurt?!” You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t think.  Words were something you didn’t know about, you just caressed your belly with your hands.  The tears were streaming down so fast because you were stunned.  You couldn’t grasp the idea of something happening to your baby boy. 

Now you couldn’t care less about the song, your desire to perform, even your fans.  Your baby was far more important.  ´Without you Owen I-“ You pushed the idea away quickly closing your eyes.  

Everything around you was haziness, only voices screaming your name. But then everything went silent and you opened eyes slowly.  You were sitting at the dressing room and everyone was huddled around you.  At once you felt something cold on your leg.  Your eyes wondered what it was and it was a ice bag that was on top of your right ankle. It was very swollen.  Then someone handed you a cup of tea and you shook your head while grasping their wrist pushing it away.  And you started to mumble,

“Yongguk… Oppa where are you? I wanna go home” With that been said you heard a door slammed everyone turned their heads seeing a very angry Yongguk.  You knew this meant trouble, his stare were dangerous.  He grabbed your Manager‘s collar and pulled him in front of you. 

“Look what happened to her! This was the exact same reason I didn’t want her to perform.  Seriously, who in the right mind suggested the idea to put her go down some stairs.” He shook him forcefully when he didn’t receive any answer.  Actually, no one dared to make a sound.  “Huh? Answer me!” He then raised him to his feet, making your Manager face him. “Listen to me and listen well, if anything happened to ________ah and Owen you wouldn’t be alive to speak of it again.  In fact, I’m going to make you sure this is the last mistake you are going to make in industry!”

“Bang Yongguk let go of him this instant!” Your voice was so loud it made everyone flinch. But not Yongguk, he was still grasping that poor’s man collar.  He is muscles were all tensed up, even his nostrils were flaring.  You knew he had a storm of emotions.  You couldn’t blame him, you felt the same way but right now you had to be his voice of reason.

“Tawny help me stand up.” You walked towards him and grabbed his two hands making him let go of the man.    “Yongguk look at me. Oppa, please look at me…” His chest was raising and falling.  But the hardest thing to look at was eyes almond eyes.  They looked so lost and afraid but at the same time frustrated and angry.  You kissed his big hands and started to rub his red knuckles. Seeing how he was slowly calming down you spoke up,

Like always, Yongguk took his time to pamper you but tonight was a whole different approach.  He wanted you to make see how much value you and the baby were on his eyes.

You were now sitting at the tub getting soaked with a warm bath something he prepared specially for you.  There were vanilla scented candles light up and even soft background music, things to make you relax. However, you will still numb. You didn’t feel scared nor tranquil, just frozen.  You’re arms were still protecting your stomach.  Subconsciously, this action demonstrated that for you letting go somehow meant that Owen was going to get hurt.

When you felt someone caressing your hair, taking some bobby pins out of it, it made your trail of thought crash.  “Oh it’s you.” You said looking up to him. He was sitting at the edge of the tub facing you.

“Of course baby” He smiled at you warmly but sadly you couldn’t respond that smile.  He understood why so he kept taking out all the bobby pins from your black, long hair. It made it fall over chest almost tickling the sides of your waist. 

He knew how much you loved the song My Foolish Heart from Acoustic Collab, so he turned around and played it.  Soon enough he got all his clothes off and was now sitting behind you in the tub.

“His lips were much too close to mine, beware my foolish heart” He sang softly close to your ear kissing the side of your neck, making you smile faintly.  That was the song you sang to him when you confessed that cold December night.  ‘He stills remembers’ You thought to yourself.

 He pulled your hair so it will rest on your back.  He took the time to get it wet and started to shampooing and massaging your scalp tenderly.  When he finished he pushed it aside and kissed your shoulder then your neck and finally your right temple. He s his arms around your belly, making you three feel together.  Resting his chin on your shoulder searching for words to make you talk. He got an idea and began saying,

“Remember that night when you sang to me that song?  I do.  I thought to myself ‘Wow she really is infatuated with me’” He chuckled evilly knowing that would make you talk.

“It was just song simple Oppa” You said while smacking his forearm.  You loved/hated it when he got all cocky on you.  Although it was true when you sang that song to him you were already head over heels.  He was the only guy who could reduce you into a puddle of nervousness.  And even though he was now your husband, he still managed to do that. The words that came next proved this.  His feelings of that night that were now revealed,

“I still remember it was around four a.m. and we were almost falling asleep but refused to hang up.  Your soft, tired voice had become such an addiction I couldn’t possibly say goodbye.  But like always I wanted to tease you so I kept quiet it wondering how would you react.  You started to say,

 ‘Oppa are you awake? You probably are. You worked so hard lately, I don’t know why you keep talking to me on the phone this late.’ 

I was going to tell you I was still awake but then you cleared your throat and I was like wait, she’s going to say something important. Then you said,

‘Since you are probably asleep you won’t get to hear this, cus then you will tease me to death.  Yongguk-ah I like you so much. I wish I could be the only girl in your eyes, but I’m afraid you won’t like me as much as I like you and it scares me. It scares me how much I’ve fallen for you’

______________ah do you know how that made me feel? Like a school boy who wanted to run in circles and tell everyone that the girl of his dreams liked him too.  Then you started to sing and reduced me to silence.  ...And look at as now” He said while caressing with the tips of his fingers your stomach, making little shapes.  Then he put both of his hands on either side of your belly and you put yours on top of them.  When you leaned back to kiss him you felt Owen kick against Yongguk’s right hand.

“Omo, my little boy is awake. Is it possible you don’t want to share your mom with me?” Then you felt him kick again.  You couldn’t hold back your giggles

“I think he made his point honey”

“Let me have a word with him” He cleared his throat and you couldn’t stop giggling. Was he really trying to reason with your baby boy. “Owen-ah this is your Appa speaking.  You know, we are gonna have to learn how are we going to share your Umma.  I understand why you want her all for yourself, I mean she’s gorgeous.  You know, you should be proud of her.  She’s very well known as the “Exotic Leader” of the amazing group called Mosaic.  Make sure when you are in her arms to give her a lot of kisses.  Because of you she had to let go of a lot of things.  I know she doesn’t regret it but her passion for singing and dancing must be still burning up inside of her.” You didn’t let him finish and spoke to Owen now,

“Owen, my little man.  Umma doesn’t about care about those things anymore.  Now you are my passion and priority.  Tonight I thought I was missing a lot of those things.  I missed the feeling of standing on stage and singing with your noonas. But the moment I was about to fall” You chocked a little on the last words but continued “Umma was really scared.  I don’t what I would do without you and your Appa.”

For almost five minutes you both stood silent, just listening of both of you breathing. But then Yongguk spoke up,

“Jagiya I was so scared” He muffled the sound of his voice in your neck, then kissing you again. “The moment I saw you falling I-“

“It’s okay Oppa, it was just accident. Thank God nothing happened”

“Yeah but, I felt like I failed to both of you.  Like I couldn’t protect you guys” His face was still buried on your neck.  You turned around slightly and cupped his face.  “Oppa you do so much for us that I can’t even explain how thankful I am.  You didn’t fail, it was just an accident.”

His hands were still on your belly and Owen moved a little.  You chuckled and said “You see, even our little man agrees with me”

“Okay Owen, Appa believes you” He the kissed you in the most loving way he had ever did while tracing shapes on top of your belly. 

Yes, here you had everything you ever wanted. Standing in front of a sea of lights on a stage could never compare to the feeling of having these two men in your life. You were missing nothing at all.

ahhhh i have daddy guk feels now.  Someone please help me!!!