I remained standing in my position, unmoving, just giving my back to face you. I couldn’t believe what I’m hearing, especially from you. All the things you said is absolutely absurd.  I don’t want to believe in any of it. All of it are just lies. You left me and that’s that.

I turned around and saw you crying helplessly on the floor. My heart aches seeing you in that state. I really hate it when I see you cry especially when I’m the one who caused it. Out of nowhere, my feet began moving on its own towards you; slowly I reached out my hand to caress your chestnut colored hair but stopped abruptly before I can even touch a single strand. I quickly pulled back my hand and sent you a glare instead.

I shook my head. This isn’t the time to feel pity on you. You deserved this. You deserved to suffer.

 I just watched you as you continued to sob, almost choking on your own whimper and pleads. My heart aches again. There’s this part inside my heart wanting to hug and comfort you but my mind is contradicting it telling me to let you suffer in your own despair.

 I felt morbid seeing you like this. I shut my eyes, gritted my teeth, and clenched my fists until it turned white so as to calm myself and recollect my senses. I have to do this. I have to show you how strong I’ve become when you left me hurt, helpless, weak and vulnerable.

“You should go now” Your swollen eyes darted towards mine and pierced through it, making me see the emotions hiding beneath. Your eyes reflect pain, longing, forgiveness, and love.

“Is that all you’re going to say after hearing my explanation?” You asked me in your broken voice as you wiped away your tears with your hand. It left a red trace of liquid on your face before I could fathom that your left hand is wounded and bleeding.

I swiftly went to my room not bothering to answer your question and grabbed a roll of bandage and an ointment for treating wounds. I then knelt in front of you and pulled your left hand towards me, examining it for a bit. I creased my eyebrows as I saw that the cut is pretty deep. I wondered what could have happened to you to have this wound.

“Stay still if you still want to live” I used my monotonous tone to hide my concern. As embarrassing as it is, I do admit that I’m still concerned about you. Even when we’re still together, I didn’t let you get hurt, even just a small bruise or cut. I would scold you all day if you went home with a scratch.

“Tch. How will I die with just a small wou----- OUCHH!!!” You winced in pain when I applied pressure in putting ointment on your cut. You tried retracting you hand away but I just held it tighter.

“I said don’t move, stubborn kid” I mumbled the last part for you not to hear but unfortunately, you did.

“Yah! I wouldn’t have move my hand if you applied the ointment gently” You hit my head and your cute expression didn’t left unnoticed when I saw your lips jutted out forming an adorable pout. I absent mindedly released a small chuckle but after realizing it, I quickly brought up my cold façade.

“Done. You could go now” I stood up and picked all the things I used before stuffing it under the table placed in the center of the living room. Sensing that you’re still not moving, I turned to you and pointed at the door but you just shook your head.

“Not until you give me your answer” You stated firmly as you stood up straight.

“Look, your boyfriend might be worrying ab-------“

“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND” You suddenly shouted making me stop in mid-sentence. “He’s not my boyfriend” You repeated, this time with your natural voice.

“Whatever” I snorted and walked pass you not forgetting to harshly bump your shoulder. You nearly tumbled down but you swiftly clutched my hand and forcefully turned me around to face you.

“Are you really not going to say anything?” Your grasp tightens as you gazed right through my eyes, seeking for answers.

“I have nothing to say about your nonsense” I shook my hand with so much force to break your hold and stared at you with despise.

Your breathing becomes heavier as your intake of oxygen quickens and your eyes look all glassy now with tears forming at both corners.

“But… but… but” You said with quivering voice that sent chills down my spine.

“BUT WHAT SOOYOUNG?!” I bawled out in anger.

“K-K-Kyu” Your voice came out inaudible as tears started cascading down onto your beautiful pastel colored face.

“Don’t you dare call me with that name” I stared at you with unwavering cold eyes.

“I-I have no choice Kyu. I have no choice” You ignored what I have said and continued talking on your raspy voice.

“Choice?” I looked at you incredulously “We all do have a choice. And it’s you who’ll make that choice not other people” I pointed to you the fact that all of us are given a choice, a freewill. And we are the one responsible for it in happening not some strangers or somebody. It all lies within us.

“You don’t understand” You shook your head from side to side.

“I understand it perfectly” I mockingly laughed “And you chose to leave me” With that, my tears suddenly gushed out and pour down my cheeks.

“I have to choose what’s best for both of us. And leaving you is the best option” You continued to speak although your voice is slowly betraying you, sounding weaker and weaker with each passing second.

“Maybe for you it’s the best but did you ever think about mine. If it’s best for me? If it’s alright with me? If I’m okay with it? NO. You did not. You became selfish and just looked at your own side. You probably didn’t know how much I have suffered when you left me. All the sleepless nights, getting wasted in a club, dating random chicks every night, lost appetite, even killi----------“ You suddenly cut me off.

“Even killing yourself” I wondered how you knew it but you immediately answered it for me.

“I k-know that you tried k-killing y-yourself” Your voice broke but you still managed to pull out a smile at me before continuing.

“Even after I left you, I never stop watching you from a far. I kept close contact with the people who serve as my ‘ears’ and ‘eyes’ around you just so I can know your condition and get update from time to time. I thought I can let you go and move on but I can’t. My heart refused to do so. My heart still wants you. My heart still yearns for you. My heart still beats for you. I still………. Love you” You tried so hard to maintain the smile on your face but failed miserably as tears kept streaming down your pretty face ruining your lovely demeanor.

I couldn’t think straight anymore. All the pain and hate I felt suddenly vanished into thin air, like it never existed in the first place. And without realizing, my arms automatically moved on its own and wrapped itself around your slim body. How I missed this body of yours pressing onto mine. Your warmth, your cold tears that keeps on dropping on my neck, and your breath that caresses my exposed skin. I missed it all. But of course, I especially missed the last four words you had just said. It means everything to me. I waited a long time just to hear it. And after three years of waiting in both pain and hope…………. I finally heard it again escaping through your lips. And speaking of lips, it’s also one of the things I missed about you. Those soft, plump, luscious lips waiting to be kissed by me. I missed it, so friggin much.

I pulled away from our hug and stared at your face. Even if your face is covered with tears right now, I still find you as the most stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, hottest, and iest woman I had ever seen. A living goddess. And I’m proud you’re all mine and I’m all yours.

I inched closer and closer to you, targeting your lips as I closed my eyes with you doing the same. And just as our lips were going to connect, memories of your ‘weak boyfriend’ kissing you in the club instantly flashed before my eyes making me raised my hand to cover your mouth.

“Yah! What are you doing? Are you still mad at me?” You immediately questioned me after removing my hand from your mouth.

“Ani. It’s not that” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away, clearly avoiding your stare. You immediately noticed it and forcefully pulled my left ear to face you again.

“Then what is it?” You whined to me while still holding my poor ear.

“Well” I tilted my head and pointed at my ear with your hand still attached to it. You quickly got the idea and nodded before pulling away and releasing your hold but not before you tugged it with such immense strength that made me yelp and then smiled like nothing happened. I just sighed and rubbed my sore ear.

“As I was saying, I really want to taste those lips right here and then. Believe me, there is no other thing I want to do right now but to kiss you”

“Then w----“

“Shht!” I cut her off “But, I will not do it” I smirked at her showing my devilish side.

“Eh?! Why not?” You raised your eyebrows and playfully hit my arms “Does my breath smells bad? Do I still smell like liquor? Are my teeth not clean enough?” I chuckled at your own conclusions.

“No. It’s none of those. It’s just that……..” I gave you a stern look “You kissed ‘your boyfriend’ with those lips. And I don’t want to kiss you right now because it’ll just be an indirect kiss with him. So I will not kiss you until you do something about it”

“WHAT?! Is that the real reason?” I nodded and you sighed. “Okay. Just wait here and I’ll drink an entire bleach to clean my mouth” You told me sarcastically as you walked towards the kitchen.

“Urghh! How I hate you so much Kyuhyun!!” You shouted from the kitchen as sounds of dropping objects echoed in the background.

“And I love you too Sooyoung” I laughingly replied to you.

Several minutes later, you came back. You blew your warm breath on my face and I can smell a minty fresh flavor meaning you just finished brushing your teeth.

“Don’t worry, I also brushed my lips” You grinned at me showing your perfectly white teeth.

“Are you sure there’s no more trace left by ‘your boyfriend’? You know I only want those lips from myself” I gave you a mischievous look and smirked knowing that you’ll be pissed off with all my teasing. I just love to tease you.

“GOSH Kyuhyun!! Can’t you just shut up and kiss me already!! And for your information, Siwon’s not my boyfriend” You stated impatiently and leaned towards my lips. But again, I stopped you.

“He’s not your boyfriend? Then what is he, your guy friend?” I questioned you after pulling away. You just groaned at me in return.

“Fine, he’s my boyfriend but I broke up with him a couple of days ago” You rolled your eyes and was about to attack my lips again not until I stopped you. Again.

“Then why didn’t you say anything when he introduced himself as your boyfriend last night at the club?” I questioned you and received a grunt of disapproval.

“Arghhh…. Do I have to answer that?” You whined at me.

“Of course” I said firmly. I’ve got to know the reason. It really is bothering me.

“Well…… I didn’t expect that I’ll see you there and seeing you with Seohyun made me think that you’re together so I didn’t say anything when Siwon said those. Wait, are you and Seohyun……………” She trailed off at the last part. I just laughed and patted her head.

“No. Why would you think that way? It’s true that Seohyun is my ideal girl and of many other guys but I only see her as my younger sister” I beamed at her reassuringly.

“Glad to hear that” You exclaimed and we both laughed.

“So, he’s the guy you cheated on me with?” You looked at me for a second and spoke.

“Nope. At that time, I lied to you. I really don’t have a boyfriend” My mouth formed an ‘o’ shape.

“So he’s your second boyfriend?” You just laughed at me before changing your smile into a sheepish one.

“No. I dated tons of guys before when we broke up to ease my mind off of you”

“WHAT?? TONS?? Just how many did you date CHOI SOOYOUNG?” I raised my voice as I heard that you dated ‘tons’ of guys before.

“YAH!! You also dated a lot of girls back then. Hopping from one club to another. TCH. Such a playboy” You scoffed and crossed your arms on your chest.

“WELL THAT'S BECAUSE I'M HURT AND I NEEDED A DISTRACTION!” I slightly raised my voice.

“WELL ME TOO. WE HAVE THE SAME REASON!” Your voice seems louder than before.

“THEN I GUESS WE'RE EVEN!” I continued to raise my voice.

“THEN WE'RE EVEN!” You also raised your voice.

“FINE!”

“FINE!”

“SOOYOUNG!” I continued to shout.

“DE?!” You also continued to raise your voice louder than the previous.

“WHY ARE WE SHOUTING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” I asked through yelling.

“I DON'T KNOW! WANNA STOP?!” You yelled too.

“YES!! I'LL BE SO MUCH HAPPIER TO DO THAT!” I yelled.

“GOOD! NOW LET'S STOP!” You yelled and rubbed your burning throat. We both looked at each other and started laughing like there’s no tomorrow.

“Wow! That was hilarious! Daebak!” I continued to laugh as I showed thumbs up.

“Yeah, I know right. We were just going to kiss then random things happened” We both laughed “WAIT WHAT?! KISS?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO KISS!!” You suddenly yelled again. I tapped your shoulder and hushed you.

“No more yelling okay? My throat hurts already” I reminded you before flashing my dazzling smile in which you nodded as a reply.

“Okay. Now where’s my kiss?” You pouted while pointing your lips. I just chuckled at the sight of your childishness.

“What? I don’t know. Maybe it’s with your boyfriend” I teased you more and you suddenly pinched my side.

“What did you say again? Who have my kiss?” You asked while smiling innocently at me as if you’re not doing any harm.

“I-it’s right h-here” I stuttered the words that came out of my mouth as the stinging sensation on my side worsens. I pouted my lips and directed it towards yours.

“Just as I thought” You smiled and with that, our lips interlocked with each other. I savored each passing second that the time has given us, pouring all my love and passion into the kiss. Tilting my head from side to side to deepen the kiss while I kept my hand on the back of your neck, pushing it towards me as your hands rested on both my shoulders, pulling me closer.

Although my lungs are begging for oxygen right now, I did not stop. I did not falter. Instead I kissed you more aggressively. I your bottom lip asking for permission in which you’ve given easily. My pink muscle wondered around your hot cavern making you moan. I alternated between exploring your cave and biting your lips in which you moaned continuously. Our sincere kiss leads to a hot passionate make out session.

After a good few moments, we both pulled back to gasp for air. Breathing in all the oxygen we need as we finished our kiss. I looked at your face and immediately chuckled. Your face looks a lot like a tomato right now. All red and burning. Maybe you didn’t expect that our kiss will turn out that way.

“Pretty good kisser aye” I winked at you as I proudly boasted myself. You just snickered at me before speaking.

“Not even half of all the guys I kissed before” You smirked at me.

“WHAT?!!! You kissed GUYS??!!” I shouted in disbelief.

“Then show me what you’ve got” You sent me a wink before turning around and seductively went inside my room, swaying your hips from left to right. I can feel my mouth began to water and without further ado, I quickly ran inside my room and locked the door before pinning you onto the bed and showered you with kisses.

And you know what happens next. I’ll just live that in your imagination.

-KY

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