***Thoughts in Violet

     Diary in Blue

Taeyeon's POV

"Finally! Our Japan Arena Tour ended.. Shall we go and party?" I asked the girls.

Tiffany decided that we have a rest since we are all tired.

*i have no choice but to agree, how can i saw no to my dear wife?*

it was 12 midnight in Japan. We were all back at our dorm resting while Sooyoung was in the kitchen having her "Dinner".  I was walking to Fany's room but passed by Jessica's door,  there were snores coming from jessica, out of curiosity i walked into her room and saw her lying on the bed like a princess.

*Even when she's sleeping she looks cute.*

I place her blanket over her and tucked her in, i moved her laptop away from her but something caught my eyes.. she seems to be typing some essay into some blog or diary.

*But who would share their diary with the world?! I mean isn't diary suppose to be a secret? but i was curious, because none of the members knew that she has been writing a diary and sharing it with the world.*

I quickly copied the URL into my smartphone and left the room quietly, trying not to wake her up.

But as i left the room, i whispered "Goodnight Sica" and a smile could be seen clearly on her face.

i went back to my room, forgetting about Fany. i switched on mine laptop and went to her 'online diary' and scrolled all the way back to 2007. 

5 August 2007

" i have finally debuted with Yuri, Tiffany, Sunny, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung, Yoona, Seohyun and our kid leader Taeyeon!"

9 March 2008

"Today, it was Taengoo's Birthday~ She looked happy that she got to celebrate her birthday with the 8 of us. But i knew she was upset that she didn't get to see her parents.. I really hope i can do something to cheer her up."

18 April 2008

"Today was my birthday! I was happy that i got to celebrate with the other members but i could really understand how Taengoo felt.. I miss my family, but Taengoo saw me crying and came to comfort me, she hugged me and gave me a kiss!! My heart was beating so fast!! Maybe she's just showing concern as a leader, i'm thinking too much."

*Haha she's so cute. Sica-ah.. I was trying to show my love you dork. But now.. I can't be sure of my feelings.*

23 June 2008

" While performing on stage today, Taengoo and i created so much 'TaengSic moments'. And i'm sure all our fans and 'Shippers' are going crazy.. Kekeke. Even when Taengoo and i made eye contact i can hear our fans screaming."

9 March 2009

" 9 March was not just Taengoo's birthday any more.. Its going to be the day we start to date each other and i suppose our anniversary for next year.. Keke. I'm so happy right now~!!"

*Is she a kid? Haha.. But i don't think we are fated to be together.. *

*Let me take a look on the day we broke up*

5 April 2010

"Today, my Taengoo has been ignoring me and hanging out with Fany a lot more than usual, even when having dinner she would rather sit beside Fany than me and i guess i was kind of angry, at the same time sad.. Is this jealously?"

18 April 2010

" Today was my birthday, but i cried a lot.. it was suppose to be a happy day for me but when Taengoo came up to me and asked for a break.. I was so sad, she choose to break up with me on my birthday."

20 May 2010

" It has already been 1 month but i still can't get over with the fact that Taengoo has dumped me.. I'm still crying everyday, my eyes were so sore that i've been admitted to the hospital, and Taeyeon and Tiffany were in Japan having fun. 

*So she has been going through so much pain.. i thought she has already gotten over with our break..*

9 March 2011

" She was out with Fany celebrating her birthday.. Today it was not the 9 of us, and it was not the 2nd TaengSic anniversary.. "

18 April 2011

" My birthday again ^_^ But i've only got a 'Happy birthday Jessica' from Taengoo.. But that's going to change, I'm gonna try my very best to win my Taengoo back"

1 January 2013

"Another new year, and SNSD have comeback with our new song 'I Got A Boy' :D but there's a TaeNy Duet :( But there was a show for our comeback! I sang 'Someday' hoping Taengoo will get the message.. but i think no.. :("

18 April

" Lots of SONES has asked Taengoo on Instagram for a TaengSic Selca ^_^ But for the whole day, she didn't came to me for a selca.. TBH not even a conversation was started between us."

*Sica~*

A tear streamed down my cheeks, I'm crying for her...

*what did she wrote today?*

 23 April 2013

"Last day of our Japan Arena Tour, bye J-SONES~!! But again so much TaeNy moments on stage today, i was a bit hurt but they even did a small kiss for fan service.. At that moment i was going crazy, i could have scream and cried on stage but yuri came and told me to control myself.. I think i'm starting to doubt my feelings for Taengoo Taeyeon , i'm trying my best to save this relationship bbut i don't see any moves from her.. I guess i'll have to give up and not bother her anymore. My tears have run dry, i won't have to cry, i will forget about you and i wont' even miss you.. Goodbye TaengSic~"

Tears start to flow down my eyes like running water, i bit my lips and cried till i fell asleep..

*why Sica? Why are you so stubborn and suffered so much in silence?*

Thx for reading and don't forget to subscribe and comment too~

Not much drama for now, but soon.. This fic wont be very long, maybe ony 2 or 3 chapters? one or two -shots ^_^

Don't forget to check my the other fic "A Love Triangle" that would be ending soon...

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/384302/a-love-triangle-jessica-snsd-taeyeon-yoona-yoontae-taengsic-yoonsic

i'll update as soon as i finish my exams, first paper on friday :D

Pardon any grammatical or spelling errors!