Daesung’s cheeks turned a little pink. He nodded and led me into his rather large bathroom. I thought it was weird that I wasn’t feeling any pain. I looked at myself in his mirror and nearly screamed.

“Daesung! I look horrid! How can you even stand to look at me this way?” I gasped and turned my head from side to side. My face was badly bruised. My eyes were black, and it looked like some of the veins in my eyeballs had popped. Gross. What I could see of my neck was also bruised. I pulled my shirt down a little and saw a long black line going across my shoulder. I cringed when my fingers touched it. I tried to recall the crash. Why hadn’t we both died? I closed my eyes and saw the deep gash in my Appa’s forehead dripping blood. I opened my eyes quickly. The steering wheel.

I looked down at my legs and pulled my pants up. My legs were banged up, too. I looked like one giant, walking bruise. I groaned. My hair looked like a bird’s nest sitting on top of my head. Daesung put his hands on my arms and turned me into his hug.

“You’re always beautiful to me.” He gently the back of my neck with one hand, while the other the water in the shower. I held him there until the mirror started to steam up from the heat of the water. Then I let him start to walk out. I tried to take my shirt off, but I grunted at the pain.

Daesung turned around quickly, and then his face got really red when he saw that I couldn’t undress on my own. I bit my lip and looked down.

 “Daesung ah, can you help me?” I asked quietly. He slowly stepped towards me, nodding. He twirled his finger, telling me to turn around. I did. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and I pulled my arms out of the sleeves, cringing. I guess they’d kept me up to date on my pain meds while I was sleeping. He pulled the shirt up over my head and I shivered. He lingered for a moment, his breathing a little heavy.

 “I’ll be right outside, okay? Just call for me if you need me,” Daesung said quietly, his voice retreating as he left the room. I pushed my pants and underwear down, trying not to bend over much. After a moment of wiggling, they finally hit the floor. How long had it been since I’d had a shower? I slowly took off the bandages around my ribs and around one of my thighs. There was dried blood, but it didn’t look that old. Did they change my bandages? How could he even stand to look at me? Or smell me…

I stepped under the hot water and let it flow over me for a long time. I looked around and saw all of my stuff in the shower that I needed. I smiled. Sweet boys. I was so lucky to have found Daesung again after all those years.

Every time I got in the shower, I had a routine. Shampoo, rinse, conditioner, leave in while I wash my body and face, rinse everything, conditioner, wash face again, rinse, done. The only thing that varied was the time I took to do all of these things. It took a while this time before I felt clean. The hot water and the feeling of getting all of the grime off of me helped mend my soul a little. After I was done getting clean, I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I sat there and let the water pour over me. I started to cry. I knew I had to let myself cry, but I wasn’t going to let it break me like when I was little. I understood better now what happened when people died.

“I’ll say hi to your Eomma for you.”

The words echoed in my head. I laughed and sobbed at the same time. I heard the door open.

“Soo Yun ah? Are you okay?” Daesung’s voice echoed off the walls of the shower.

I stood up and turned the water off. “Yeah, I’ll be out in just a minute.”

“Okay. I put some sweats on the counter so you can get dressed in the bathroom, where it’s still warm.” The door shut. I smiled. Is there a more thoughtful person on this planet?

I dried off and put my hair in a towel. I looked in the mirror. I was still all bruised up, obviously, but I looked better. I wished bruises went away more quickly. I looked at the clothes Daesung had left for me. My favorite black yoga pants that stopped mid calf, a plain black tank top and my Avenged Sevenfold hoodie Appa had given me when I was fourteen or fifteen for Christmas. I frowned. How was I going to get this stuff on?

I sighed and took my hair down to brush it. I put on my underwear and pants and opened the door a crack.

“Need me again?” Daesung asked immediately.

“I need some help with my shirts…” I said slowly before turning around.

He came in quietly and picked up my shirt. He stood behind me, holding my tank top in front of me. I slid my arms into the straps and he pulled it down. I turned to face him. His finger lifted my chin so I would look at him. We hadn’t kissed since that night—White Day. My lips parted and I looked into his eyes. He bent his head down and his plump lips caressed mine. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, kissing him softly. I could feel the urgency in his kiss, even though he kept it gentle. His arms s around my waist. My hands slid up his arms to his broad shoulders, admiring all of the muscles along the way. He pulled me against him, deepening the kiss. I was starting to feel dizzy, but I didn’t pull away. This boy’s lips were heaven. My fingers found their way into his silky blonde hair and his tongue slid along my lips, making them open just enough for his tongue to find its way in. I shuddered at the feeling of his tongue against mine. He was an amazing kisser. He picked me up, never breaking our kiss, and took me into the bedroom. He lay me down and put himself over me, holding himself up so none of his weight was on me. I sighed softly and he pulled away. I opened my eyes a little and he smiled.

“You look so dazed right now. It suits you, little lotus blossom.”

Daesung’s lips touched my jaw and he gently lay next to me, pulling me against him. I cupped his face in both of my little hands and kissed him again, with urgency. He moaned quietly, a desperate moan, and clutched me to him. I winced but tried to keep kissing him. He pulled away quickly and I pouted.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He loosened his grip on me. I shook my head, trying to pull him down for more kisses. He smiled and shook his head. “I still get so nervous with you.”

“I don’t want you to be nervous with me, Daesungie. Even though it is really cute.” I teared up a little. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you and the boys right now. Especially you.” My tears fell.

His thumbs gently wiped them away. “We told you we’d always be here for you. And you’re my girl. That’s what I’m here for.” He smiled his eye smile that I was falling so hard for and kissed me softly and quickly. He looked at me and kissed me again, longer this time. I let him kiss me. I’d let him kiss me forever if he wanted to. I always wanted to feel his perfect, plump lips over mine. I wanted to feel his hot, wet, soft tongue caress mine with the gentlest . I wanted to feel his hand slide down my back and push me against his muscular body. I wanted to feel all of these things like I was feeling them now.

But someone had to knock on the door. We reluctantly pulled away and he looked over at the door. We were both breathing heavily and my lips were tingling, raw from his kisses.

TOP cleared his throat. “Sorry… Daesung ah, we have to go. We have practice.” He spoke quickly and walked away immediately after his sentence was finished. He sounded a little… upset.

Daesung smiled at me and planted a soft, sweet, brief kiss on my lips, stealing my breath. “I’ll be back for you, my beauty.” His hand caressed my face as he got up and walked away. I watched his back—his , really. What a nice little he had—until he was out of sight. Seungri, Jiyong and Youngbae waved at me as they passed, and I waved back. Then, they were all gone.

I curled up around the turtle pillow pet that Daesung had brought to me and closed my eyes. Traumatic incidents really the energy out of you. I yawned, wincing as my ribs strained against the deep intake of breath, and fell back asleep. Even in sleep, I missed Daesung. This was happening faster than I had expected.