“Daesung, we really need to talk,” I said softly a few days after mine and Hyun Joong’s spur-of-the-moment engagement party. I’d been harsh with him that night. Also, the air needed to be cleared between us. Seunghyun was next. I’d just gotten up an hour ago and already my head was killing me. Aigoo, this was going to be a long day.

Daesung looked up at me. “About what?” he half-whispered from across the table. It was just the two of us in a sun room I’d ventured into the day after the party. I loved being in that room and the bright colors and sunrise rays coming in, the mood felt a little better.

I sighed and looked down. “About the other night… About us.” I looked up at his face, but he was looking down. “I’m really sorry about how harsh I was with you the other night. Genuinely sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you or said all those things… I just want you to understand that you and I are over, Daesung. I still care about you a lot and I know you’re hurting, but you’re hurting me now too. What you did to me the other night wasn’t fair. I understand if you can’t handle being around me while I’m with Hyun Joong. I’ll understand if you need to leave. But you and I won’t be what we used to be anymore. I’m sorry.” Tears were streaming down my face steadily. I wanted to reach out and touch his hand, I wanted him to hug me and tell me it was okay, that he understood. But I knew that was asking too much.

His eyes flicked up and looked into mine. He looked so sad and defeated. He nodded slowly. “I know,” he said gently. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done any of the things I did. I had something wonderful and I blew it. I need to accept it. But it’s so hard. So hard. Seeing you with him, accepting that we won’t be together anymore. It just makes me sad. Eventually, I’ll get over it and knowing that you’re happy will be okay for me. I really think it’s best for both of us if we try not to see each other for a while.”

We both stood up. I was trying my hardest not to break down and cry. My heart was breaking. I hated goodbyes. I put my arms around his neck, his going around my waist. A sob escaped when I apologized again. Before I could fall apart, he pulled himself away and disappeared out into the hallway. I put my face in my hands, sinking back into my chair. I should’ve talked to TOP first. He’d be easier to deal with.

“You okay?” a deep voice said.

My stomach dropped. I couldn’t do this with TOP right now. I wiped my eyes and nodded, looking out onto the beach. Hyun Joong and Jaejoong were playing volleyball with Bum and Min Ho. The sight should’ve made me smile; it only brought more tears.

“I’m sorry, Soo Yun ah. I should’ve spoken up sooner or not said anything at all. Probably the latter. I guess it’s too late for all that, though. I’m still sorry. I would like to be your friend again. I felt like we were just getting close and I don’t want my saying something stupid to ruin it. So let’s just pretend that didn’t happen. Memory erased. Is that too much to ask of you?”

I looked over at Seunghyun, totally taken aback by what he’d said. He was smiling softly at me, being all adorable and sweet. Just the Seunghyun I wanted and needed.

I shook my head. “That isn’t too much to ask. That’s exactly what I want.”

He laughed a little. “If that’s what you want, then what are you crying for, silly?” He mussed my hair and left, leaving me looking out the window at my fiancé.

I’d cleared things up with Seunghyun and Daesung; now Jiyong and Seungri were going to be dogging me about wedding plans. I already felt like this day had been eleven years long, I didn’t feel like doing any wedding planning today. I went looking for Youngbae, doing my best to avoid Seungri and Jiyong.

When I finally found Youngbae, he was in a recording room he’d told me about the day before. Sheesh, this place had everything someone could think of. He agreed to let me help him, hiding me from Jiyong and Seungri. He hadn’t told them about the room yet. I giggled when he told me that.

After a long while of listening to him sing some of his new stuff, he sat down next to me and started working on his laptop.

“What happened?” he asked out of the blue after a few minutes of silence.

“Hmm?” I had been playing on my phone and didn’t really know what he was asking about.

He glanced over at me. “You kinda look like you’ve been crying. And you’re hiding away in a room only the two of us know about. I thought maybe you’d wanna talk about it.” He shrugged, smiling a little.

I took a deep breath. “Daesung and I...” I swallowed hard, having trouble saying the words out loud. “I think Daesung is leaving.”

Youngbae’s head snapped towards me. “What?!” I jumped at his tone and nodded quickly. “He isn’t staying for the wedding?”

“What are you talking about? Who knows when that’ll be? I mean, Hyun Joong only proposed a few nights ago and—”

“Don’t even joke like that. You know Jiyong will be pushing to have this thing soon. Especially if he figures out Daesung wants to leave.”

I looked down, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on my pants. “Daesung doesn’t want to be here anymore, Youngbae. He can’t be around me,” I said to him quietly, feeling pain shoot through my heart.

Youngbae stopped what he was doing and turned all of his attention on me. “You know he loves you, right? Everything’s a little messy right now because he’s blinded by anger and pain but deep down, all he wants is for you to be happy. That’s all any of us want.”

I sighed. “I know. I understand, though. I don’t want him to be here to see it if it’s going to upset him more. I think we’ve been through enough. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it is better for both of us if he leaves.” I teared up. I still had Seunghyun, even though it might take a while for things to get back to normal, but would I ever have Daesung again? He was important to me.

Youngbae put his arm around my shoulders. “I know it hurts. I’m sorry.” He hugged me and I closed my eyes. It was nice to be understood sometimes, and Youngbae was always understanding. “Now, cheer up and go find something wedding-y to do. Okay? Okay. Go, go, go.” He shooed me out of the recording room and closed the door behind me. I smiled to myself.

“There’s the beautiful bride-to-be,” a soft voice said, making me jump.

“Hi, Jaejoong,” I said after my heart stopped hammering from being startled.

“Sorry to scare you. I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Jaejoong snuck me out of the house and we went shopping. We were looking specifically for tuxes, but he kept telling me I had to pick a color scheme for the wedding. That was the only thing he was pushing, though. He tried on lots of different tuxes, some serious, some just to make me laugh. I didn’t really like any of them, not that they didn’t look good on him. I tried picturing Hyun Joong in them. That boy looked so good in a tux. Mm!

Finally, he came out in a tux that I loved; the jacket was black, like usual, but the vest and tie were silver over a white shirt.

Jaejoong looked up at me. “Well? What do you think about this one?”

I nodded. “That’s it,” I whispered.

“What’s what?”

“Those are the colors. That’s perfect. Jaejoong, you look so great.” I almost cried.

He smiled at me. “Glad I could be of service, miss.” He bowed. “Lucky for you, I know Hyun Joong’s measurements.” He winked at me.

As we were walking out, he told me Hyun Joong had asked him to be the best man. The other groomsmen were Bum, Min Ho and Joon. I’d figured.

“Who are your bridesmaids?” His question threw me off.

“What?”

“Your bridesmaids. You know, the ones that help you do everything.”

I stopped. I didn’t have any girl friends. The guys were really all I had. Obviously, that hadn’t been a problem with me but I never thought I’d be getting married. And when I had thought of it when I was younger, I thought Appa would be around to help me. Now what? Who was going to help me with my dress and my makeup and my hair? Who was going to walk me down the aisle.

“Hey, it’s okay. You know there’s no rush on the wedding. You have plenty of time to think about all of the plans and everything. It can only happen when you guys are ready for it.” Jaejoong put his stuff down and gave me a hug. I didn’t even realize I was nearly hyperventilating and tears were streaming down my face. “Don’t stress, okay? We’ll figure everything out. I promise. I’ll help you. Okay?” He smiled at me. He was so sweet already.

I wiped my face, laughing a little. “You barely know me, though.”

He nudged me, picked up his stuff and started walking again. “You make my best friend happier than I’ve ever seen him. He loves you and that’s good enough for me. Plus, what I do know is truly amazing. Hyun Joong is a very, very lucky man. I mean that.” I blushed and looked down. “Wanna get something to eat?”

I nodded. He looked around and pointed out a little Chinese place. I love Chinese food. We went in and sat down, taking our time to figure out what we wanted. We were enjoying ourselves. I quickly learned why he was Hyun Joong’s best friend. He was fun and easy to get along with.

The food was delicious, as it always was to me. We joked about having to roll each other back home as we walked, arm in arm.

“You know, I really see what Hyun Joong sees in you. I understand why he fell for you so fast. I really hope we can be good friends, Soo Yun ah.” He flashed me a smile and walked in the front door. I smiled back, but it faded quickly when I heard Jiyong calling for me frantically.

“Where have you been, Soo Yun! I’ve been trying to get your opinion all day long and it’s like you’ve been avoiding me. We have so much to do and you’re running around with Jaejoong like you have all the time in the world.” Jiyong stood in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest, his foot tapping on the floor.

I burst out laughing. The sight of him so flustered was cute and hilarious. I gave him a hug. “Thank you, Jiyong. I know you’re excited about this but I think we should slow things down. We don’t have to get married right away, you know.”

He sighed and relaxed a little. “I know. But you guys are so happy together.”

I laughed. “We’ll be happy together no matter when we get married. Part of the excitement is anticipating the wedding right?”

“You’re right. Okay, so maybe next week then?”