A/N

ANGST! ANGST ERRYWHERE T_T. Sorry. ty mood and this is the result.

Where did it all go wrong? 

The worst part about being friends with someone, is falling out of friends with them. It's like breaking up, but different. There's still those feelings of affection, but not quite as strong. No, the worst part is knowing that you never had any claim on them anyway. They have every right to walk away from a friendship they don't wish to continue. Even worse than that, they don't even have to tell you why.

It started of with doors.

One day, Jessica stop holding them open for her. It wasn't impolite necessarily, but it was a tad inconsiderate. Taeyeon wanted to exit the van on the side closer to the kerb. Common sense really. But she was a split second too slow and the next thing she knew, Jessica had closed the door; not necessarily in her face, but it was still a closed door. 

So Taeyeon turned to the other side where Yoona silently held the door open for her instead. Taeyeon didn't bother glaring at Jessica later in the day. Jessica could hold the blankest of faces that would put professional poker players to shame. 

The only thing left to do was to shrug it off and move forward. Act like it was just one of those days. 

That was mistake number one.

~ ~ ~

Friendship is not a self sustaining creature. You feed it and it grows. You give it time. Committment. Effort. You talk about stuff. Anything. Because essentially, it is impossible to maintain any sort of relationship with another being without actually communicating with them. That doesn't mean words and conversations. It could be a hifive. It could be hug. It could be a smile. Even a fight is better than nothing. 

But when there is nothing, even the act of trying to add something to that nothingness that lies between you seems to be more effort than its worth.

It was basically impossible to notice that there was a distance between them. It wasn't anything particularly obvious, but the nine of them had been together so long now that even slightest ripple of conflict between members was picked up straight away. Celebrities and idols all started off as people. Not angels fallen from heaven. 

Therefore, when they fell out with one another, they fell out as people. They talked less, if at all. They'd meet each other's eyes awkwardly and then look away. They'd actually respect one another's personal space. It was strange, especially having shared a dorm. You don't get a lot of personal space with nine people crammed in an apartment, especially when holding hands, linking arms, back hugs and hair fiddling was the standard interaction between them. There was nothing to hide really. They changed in front of each other all the time.

Taeyeon knew Jessica's curves just as well as she knew Fany's curves or Yuri's curves and Sooyoung's lack of curves, which she so often lamented. There was nothing intimate about it, much as crazy shippers would probably have liked to believed. They just spent a lot of time around each other in various states of undress. From changing rooms back stage, to moping around the apartment dressed as peasants to post shower to bedroom scurrying. 

But it was always a bigger deal when you undressed in front of a stranger, and so when Jessica began turning around when herself or Taeyeon changed, Taeyeon began to wonder if she ever really knew Jessica at all.

That was mistake number two.

~ ~ ~

In front of a camera, everyone is an actor. Or actress. It's called a stage for a reason.

It was when they got to the stage that Taeyeon knew that there was a problem. She had always found some of their dance moves a little racier than she would have liked, and Jessica with her lusher curves, was a killer. But today, as she stood behind Jessica, watching her wiggle and wave, she barely reacted. Nothing had changed, she just didn't really care. 

She sang her line and Jessica's voice echoed alongside hers, harmonizing in the way that only the true vocalists in the group could, and Jessica was one of them. She had once thought Jessica's voice sweet. Unique. But now, once again, she realized that she didn't particularly care. But Jessica's voice hadn't changed. If anything, her pitch stability, her vibrato, her projection, it had all improved from their early days when they still had chubby cheeks and the clearest of eyes.

But now Taeyeon's eyes were tired.

Tired of pretending to look at someone like they were still friends. Like they were still something. Like they were still anything. Confrontation lead to drama and drama just wasn't her thing. 

So when they walked off the stage, smiling and making hearts, she mutted a "good job" to Jessica as she passed by her and Jessica barely nodded back before walking away. And Taeyeon let her.

The third and final mistake.

----

End.

Friendships are worth fighting for.