An altar. A priest. A quartet. Sunlight streaming in through the painted glass windows. A silent crowd, all staring. Sweaty hands and fidgeting fingers. A dream come true.

They’re playing Canon in D. It’s beautiful. My favourite because it was your favourite. A song change. Here comes the bride. Here comes you.

A white dress. Simple and elegant. Just how you always wanted it. No frilly bits of lace. No excessive train. No delicate embroidery. Seamless and strapless. Just how I always wanted to see you.

Slow steps down the aisle. You’re smiling. Right there, I can see your chin dimple. It means you’re truly happy. It hides when you’re faking it.

So slowly you walk, but still too fast for me. You have all the time in the world. Savor it. Feel it. Live it.

A tug. A call. But I ignore it for now. They can all wait. I’m here for you and you alone.

Stop looking down. I want to see your- Ahhhhhh. They’re sparkling. There’s no hiding your joy. Love is written all over your face. I hope that at least some of it is still for me.

Is that selfish?

A call. Louder. You might have to hurry up.

One step.

Another.

One more.

And we’re facing. Your eyes see straight through me. As they should, as they always had and as they have been doing ever since I came and left.

The cello dies away. Then the violin. Then the rest. I give them props, they played flawlessly.

A shuffle of pages as he opens his book. His voice is boring, why didn’t you go with the other guy? Ah well, not to matter. You’re here. I’m here. She’s here. The result is the same isn’t it?

We’re all grinning like love struck fools, aren’t we?

* * *

“In sickness and health… in-“

“Do you mind if we skip that bit and get straight into the stuff that matters?” You interrupt. Kim Taeyeon you never change.

“This is most improper, Miss Hwang surely-“

“No, no. Skipping to the good stuff sounds good.”

An eyesmile. So pretty. I can see why you picked her.

You lean in. She leans in.

“Jessica?” She whispers.

“She was never patient.”

A grin. Eyes briefly shift south. “Neither am I.”

The priest coughs. How rude. He’s not the one getting married.

A giggle and you both take a step back. He continues after giving you each a reproachful glance.

“Do you Miss Kim take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

I wait. You wait. Everyone waits. There are tears in your eyes. Why are you crying now? Say I do. For me.

“I-I-“ You falter. “Are you watching me? Sica?”

I am but how can I answer?

“Can we… turn on the air conditioning?” You ask.

Are you serious? I could almost die laughing. Kim Taeyeon you sentimental midget. Really? Of all things to remember, you pick air con.

She’s laughing. Clear and pure.

“Is that why you walked so slowly, Taetae?”

“She hated running.”

The priest coughs.

“Oh shut up.” You snap.

You tell her girl. No one pushes a bride around on her own wedding day.

A breeze of frosty air.

Our eyes seem to meet. Are you blushing? Why are you fanning your face?

“Continue.” You give the stupid priest a smug grin. Good on you.

“Do you Miss Kim take-“

“I do.”

He looks annoyed. I can feel tears in my eyes.

“And do you-“

“I do.”

Even better.

“If there is anyone who feels that these two women-“ Oh he’s against gay marriage. Douche. “should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Silence.

“Then I now pronounce you-“

No waiting. Lips meet lips. Screw tradition.

I want to watch you grow old. I want to hold your hand the rest of my life. Wanted to.

The kiss ends. Too quickly. Then one more.

“For Jessica.” You whisper. Tears are spilling down your porcelain cheeks.

You smile and look up. Even though I’m here right next to you. Well maybe it’s time I took my place up there.

Then you look straight at me. You could always read me like a book. Even if you can’t see me.

“Go Jessica.

Heaven is calling you.”