"Dad! Mom! I'm home!" Jongin yelled as he slammed the front door and kicked off his shoes along the side. Next thing he heard was footsteps coming down the staircase as he hung his backpack onto one of the open hooks where his parents' jackets were hung. Then, Jongin's father walked in wearing a loose white shirt with a pair of gym shorts on that hung below his knees wearing his glasses, barefooted.

"Hey, how was school?" his dad asked ruffling Jongin's hair as he lead him into the living room smiling.

"Same as always," Jongin replied as the two plopped down onto the couch behind them. Jongin reached forward to grab the TV remote on the coffee table in front of them and the TV. Meanwhile his dad shook his head not believing his answer.

“Really? Nothing? Today’s the last day of school, man,” his dad reminded him. Jongin shook his head reassuring his dad nothing special happened today as he flipped through the channels until he found the local news channel.

Still not believing that today “was the same as always”, he gently smacked the back of his son's head. “Kids these days…” he sighed to himself. Mr. Kim expected something at least some little fun for his son today since most kids celebrate that it’s the last day of school like how he and his old class mates from high school did. “What about Jae?” he asked. Even if it’s not his kid, he’d still like a little exciting news about today.

“Nope,” Jongin said bluntly as he watched the anchor lady on TV tell today’s news about the cops finding illegal minors drinking. With Jongin’s answer, Mr. Kim gave up and focused on the TV as well.

“Well, at least you aren’t like one of them,” he said as he watched the cops grab the kids on TV from behind and push them into their cars to head to the police station. Jongin just nodded.

The two sat there quietly watching the news without actual interest. The TV was just on so the silence would be filled with loud noises from the news so Mr. Kim and his son had something to do rather than just sitting there acting awkward.

“Uhm…” Mr. Kim spoke trying to get some actual words out of his son’s mouth. “How are things going with you and Jaeeun?” he asked hopefully turning slowly towards his son. In response, Jongin whipped his head towards the direction of his dad with his eyes basically popping out of his sockets and opened his mouth, ready to shout because honestly, he didn’t like that question. He knows what his dad is thinking. He knows what everyone is thinking when the names Jongin and Jaeeun are put together. They all think Jongin has a thing for his best friend, but honestly he doesn’t. So why can’t they see that?

Why can’t they see that they’re just childhood friends forced to grow up together. They were forced into becoming close friends. And luckily they did become genuine best friends, but Jongin knows without his mom forcing him to play with Jaeeun, the two wouldn’t have ever talked in school, at parties, at family gatherings.

Nope. If things weren’t forced upon them, they wouldn’t even look at each other now. Feelings couldn’t have been created without force. So why expect the two to become “more than friends” really. I mean yeah, they like each other as friends and that’s it. Jongin knows it. And Jaeeun knows it. Jaeeun probably knows it more than him. She probably knows that the two shouldn’t even be friends.  She probably thinks that they shouldn’t even be friends right now. Wait, why would she think that? Why can’t they be friends? Why can’t they be more than friends? Why? Why can’t Jaeeun just like him?

“Why can’t she just like me?” Jongin said aloud rather than finishing his thoughts inside of his head.

 Mr. Kim sat there eyes wide, not believing Jongin just asked that. All he was really expecting was “nothing” to come out of Jongin’s mouth like it always has since elementary school whenever Mr. and Mrs. Kim asked him that question. They only did it to tease them before, but now… it’s different. For some reason, Jongin’s parents' get that vibe that there might be something more, but hey, maybe they were wrong. But now, it seems like they were right.

 And Mr. Kim can’t believe what he just said. Neither can Jongin. Jongin sat there shocked for himself and sat there frozen. “Uhm, s-so ar-“ Mr. Kim tried saying straight but Jongin stood up and dashed for his room. Mr. Kim stood up immediately and watched Jongin disappear up the stairs onto the second floor.

At the same time, Mrs. Kim came down wearing her pink night robe with a headband on setting her bangs out of her face looking confused for Jongin’s little run. Her eyes followed Jongin before he ran into his room and slammed it shut and the faint noise of the lock was heard. She turned towards her husband who stood there confused as well. Still standing on top of the stairs, she asked, “What’s going on Jaejoong?”

Mr. Kim Jaejoong just shrugged his shoulders pretending not to anything. Okay, yes he rarely hides anything from his wife, but this seems to be rather sudden and he feels like what Jongin said was not even supposed to be spoken and he doesn’t want to embarrass Jongin because, really, this is Jongin’s first crush Jaejoong knows about. And he believes a son’s first crush should be kept only between a son and his father. Because if Jaejoong tells his wife, he knows she’ll explode and ask Jongin all of these questions. Better to keep it as a secret for now. So all Jaejoong could say was: “Maybe he’s on his man period?”

Mrs. Kim just looked at her husband like he was from another planet and just shook her head deciding to ignore whatever he just said and came downstairs only to look out the window. Jaejoong looked at her weirdly too back.

“What’s going on?” he asked walking towards her side to look out the window as well.

“I thought I heard someone scream,” she whispered to herself ignoring Jaejoong, but just answered his question without realizing. Jaejoong looked around the neighborhood only to see the light streets and houses. No one stood outside.

“Maybe you’re just hearing things,” Jaejoong told her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Maybe,” she agreed and the married couple walked back up the stairs into their room. Mrs. Kim thought about her work tomorrow while Mr. Kim thought about Jongin.

*Maybe,* Jaejoong thought as well.

Maybe force isn’t needed to create feelings.

___________________

Jongin dove onto his bed and screamed into his pillow as loud as he could. He flailed his arms all over the place. He grabbed the ends of his blanket and rolled himself up into a burrito. Maybe he's on his man period.

"I HATE EVERYTHING!" he furiously yelled into his pillow which only came out to sound like "AH HATE EFRYTHANG."

 Hate.

 Jongin hated the fact that he said his stupid thought in front of his father.

And he hated the fact that Jaeeun doesn’t like him.

He hated the fact that he wasn't Jaeeun's first crush.

He hated the fact that Jaeeun had a crush on his best friend in middle school.

He hated the fact that he couldn't make Jaeeun like him.

He hated the fact that Jaeeun couldn't just like him for God's sake. 

It upset his stomach. He gripped onto his stomach and rolled off the bed with a loud thump. Maybe he really is on his man period. But what surprises him is that he doesn't even like Jaeeun. Because Jaeeun is Kwon Jaeeun. And Kwon Jaeeun is the girl he was forced to like as a friend. Kwon Jaeeun was the girl who became true best friends with somehow. Kwon Jaeeun was the girl that moved in next door with her uncle and aunt one day. Kwon Jaeeun was the girl who he grew up with, knew all his secrets, and liked in the 8th grade. Kwon Jaeeun is the girl he loved secretly without himself knowing since middle school. 

*Kwon Jaeeun why don't you like me back?* he thought. 

"I hate you Kwon Jaeeun," he mumbled and closed his eyes only for sleep to steal him away from the real world. Steal him away from the world with all this love he calls hate.