"Meet me in front of my apartment," Hyesung texted Dongwan with swift fingers. He let out a heavy sigh as he placed his phone down on the bathroom sink and glanced at his reflection in the mirror.

            Disgusting, he thought as he saw the growing bags under his eyes. He fixed his light hair and sprayed his neck with cologne. His face looked tired and pale, without an ounce of color. Hideous. Repulsive. The man staring back at him revolted him to no end.

            There is absolutely nothing attractive about me, he told himself with a frown. Why do they all pretend to love someone so appalling?

            He glanced down at his phone as it beeped. "I'm leaving my house now," came Dongwan's reply. Hyesung sighed again. How long will Dongwan last? he wondered as his eyes drifted back to his reflection. His thoughts continued to ramble on. Will he continue with the "test"? Maybe he'll quit soon. Or maybe he'll become like Eric...

            He didn't want Dongwan to become like Eric though. He hoped that Dongwan would realize how sickening of a person he was and quit his so-called "test" as soon as possible. He didn't want to hurt him, he hated seeing his friend's face twist in horror and hurt...

            Would Dongwan end up pitying him like Minwoo? Would he vow to protect him for the rest of his life like the others?

            Hyesung clicked his tongue in disapproval. Why couldn't any of them understand that he didn't want their care and fortification? He didn't mind anymore, really. He wasn't bitter about his past anymore, he didn't mourn about what he had been forced to go through. He wasn't wounded; all his injuries had scarred over time. He was just thankful that he had five best friends he could rely on like his own blood and flesh. Whether they proclaimed to "love" him or not, Hyesung was just happy that they were there, that he wasn't alone in his empty life.

            If he had to choose between love and friendship, he would choose friendship every time, without a second of hesitation.

            He was satisfied with just friendship. He was found himself really lucky to have people he could genuinely call "friends" in his life. That was why it tore his heart every time one of them fell in "love" with him. He didn't want love. Nor was it possible for him to love.

            While friendship was strong and stable, love was terrifying and fleeting. He had learned that all too well, so early on in life.

            True love didn't exist. Maybe it did for others. But not for him.

            Scrambling out of his mind's blather, he started treating his face with lotion when a familiar melody flooded his house. He stared at his phone to read the time.

            It was way too soon for Dongwan to be here. Who would visit him at this time?

            He made his way to his door and was shocked at the identity of his visitor. He quickly opened the door with a smile.

            "Andy!" Hyesung greeted pleasantly.

            Andy stared at him rather blankly. "Hyesungie hyung..."

            "What brings you here at this hour?" he asked.

            "Hyung..." Andy said, his face grim. The dark tone of his voice wiped the grin off the older man's face.

            "Andy, are you alright?" he asked, his brows knitting together in worry.

            Andy dropped his gaze and took a step closer. Hyesung instinctively took a step back.

            Something wasn't right. He could feel it in the air between them. "A-Andy? What's wrong?"

            The younger didn't seem to hear him. He took another step closer until Hyesung felt his back pressed against the door that he had shut without meaning to.

            "I need to ask you..." Andy's face inched closer. Hyesung debated whether or not to push the other away, his mind thrown in panic. "Tell me..."

            Hyesung could feel his dongseng's breath against his skin. They were too close... Only a few more centimeters and their skins would touch...

            What the hell was happening? Why would Andy of all people...

            "Why are you trying to shelter me?"

            Hyesung blinked a few times in confusion. "What?"

          Andy looked into his eyes, brown meeting brown. "Why are you trying to shelter me?" he repeated. It didn't make much more sense the second time around.

            "What are you talking about?" Hyesung asked, utterly confused.

            "You don't think I know about what you do with the others?"

            Hyesung's heart dropped. "You... know?" was all he could let out.

            Andy nodded and lifted a hand to Hyesung's cheek. It was an awkward movement, something forced and unnatural. Hyesung shuddered at his strange touch.

            This was wrong. Not with Andy, not with the one person he wanted to protect...

            He saw his dongseng's eyes drift down to his lips. No, no, no, he protested in his mind, but was too terrified to make a sound.

            "Do you honestly believe that I'm still an innocent boy?" The whispered words were harsh, like slashes of ice. "I've been in such a dirty industry for over fifteen years... Did you really expect me not to know about these things?"

            "B-But..." Hyesung heard himself stuttering. "I-I made sure... Eric, Minwoo, and I... W-We made sure you didn't have to do anything..."

            It was true. The three of them had "worked" so hard to make sure their precious maknae wasn't affected... Hyesung had wanted to protect Andy's innocence no matter what...

            That was how precious Andy was to him. He would rather sell his body and leave it to rot than see Andy's pureness tainted...

            "I... caught on. I felt so terrible when I found out. I... wanted to help."

            No... It couldn't be true...

            "I told our manager that I would contribute, too."

            No, Andy...

            "NO!" Hyesung screamed as he grabbed his dongseng's arms.

            Andy flinched in pain. Hyesung instantly loosened his grip on him, but didn't--just couldn't--conceal his anger. He was so mad, so sad, so... He couldn't even find the right word to express his emotion. He had never been so mortified in his life.

            Because no one was supposed to hurt his Andy. No one. No one.

            "Was it Jonghyunnie hyung?! Was it him who let you contribute?!" he bellowed, his voice echoing down the hall. His neighbors would be disturbed, but he couldn't care less. "Was it him who ing let you?!"

            "Hyung..."

            "Answer me, damn it!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, losing his sanity. "Tell me who it was! Tell me the bastard who made you do such things!"

            "No one made me do anything. It was my choice."

            "Andy, do you even understand..." He fell on his knees, losing the strength to stand. Sudden tears blurred his vision.

            Do you even understand what we had to go through to protect you?

            "Hyung... Please don't do this."

            Hyesung couldn't find the will to look up at him. "Don't do what?" he lifelessly muttered as he continued to face the ground.

            "Don't play these games. Especially with the other members. You're hurting them."

            I'm hurting them... Yes, I know, Andy... I know that and yet...

            All I can think about right now is how you ended being hurt no matter how hard I had tried to prevent it...

            A tear trickled down his cheek, splattering onto the floor. "If that's what you want," his voice rasped out.

            Because I'll do anything for you, Andy. I'll do anything for my pure, innocent maknae.

            Except he wasn't pure nor innocent. Except he had been sullied despite the desperate shield Hyesung had created with his own vessel.

            "Thank you."

            And he left. The only person in the world Hyesung had ever tried to shelter--and had miserably failed--walked away without turning back as he stayed rooted to the ground, the tears pouring like a broken rainstorm.

***

            "No. I don't want to and I definitely won't," the eighteen year old Jung Pilkyo stated firmly with his arms crossed across his chest.

            A short, buff man wearing a baseball cap shook his head in dismay. "You have to, Hyesung. It's what the client wants."

            Hyesung glowered at his manager in disgust. "Hyung, how could you even think this is okay?! I even had with random rich women. How far are you trying to push my limits?"

            The man shot him an apologetic look. "Hey, Hyesung. I'm really sorry. I'm really upset that you and the others have to go through this."

            "Yeah, okay," he snorted, his words dripping with cold sarcasm. "If you gave a , you would do something about it!"

            "You know I can't," the older man snapped then quickly softened. "You know this is my first time being a manager. I'll be fired if I don't carry out my duties."

            "Jonghyunnie hyung, please," the young Hyesung begged, tears creeping into his eyes. "Please, I can't do this anymore. And it kills me to see Minwoo, Eric, and Jinnie suffer, too."

            Jonghyung sighed, perturbed. "I really can't do anything. You know I'm just a powerless underling."

            "I can quit," Hyesung blurted out, the sudden idea shocking them both. "I'll ask the rest to quit, too. I... I can convince them to leave with me. Hyung, we can all start over somewhere else. We don't have to stay in this dirty industry, tainting our humanity."

            "Hyesung... Are you really willing to give up your dream? This is just a small obstacle compared to the glorious life of fame awaiting your future."

            "Shut up," Hyesung whispered, his voice quivering. "I can't stand this anymore. I just can't."

            "Just a little more, Hyesung. I promise, this will all end soon."

            "No," he heard himself murmuring in terror. "No... I can't... Not with a--"

            His words died in his throat, choking him. It horrified him... It made his head scream mutely in dread and panic.

            Not with a man. I don't want to have with a man that I don't even know.

            His manager hyung took his hands that felt like blocks of ice. "It's just a different gender. It'll be the same. Quick and painless."

            Quick and painless? Hyesung wanted to laugh, but he started crying instead. It wouldn't be quick. The process could take hours, however long the "client" wanted it to last. And painless? Was Jonghyun even being serious when he uttered that word?

           "You can practice with Jinnie," his hyung added as if that was supposed to be advice. Hyesung felt the urge to hurl. "I know you guys already experiment together. Why not go all the way, just to test how it feels?"

            "You're... being serious." Hyesung couldn't believe it. The hyung who had seemed to genuinely care for the six of them at the start... was now proving to be just another monster. The industry had somehow captured their manager's heart and transformed him into a devastating demon.

            "It'll be fine," Jonghyun said, an empty promise. Hyesung knew it would be anything but fine.

            The manager placed a firm hand on his shoulder and he squirmed subconsciously under his touch. His hyung bent his head towards him so he could whisper discreetly in his ear.

            "At least Andy would be okay, right?"

            Chills ran down Hyesung's spine as if he was being prickled by a thousand needles. This man in front of him knew his weakness all too well... and was very keen on using it against him.

            "If I do this... Andy won't have to do anything?" Hyesung asked in defeat.

            Jonghyun smiled, knowing he had him cornered. "I promise. Andy will be safe."

           Hyesung nodded, feeling as though his soul had been drained from his physical shell.

            "I'll go find Jinnie. Just tell me when the client wants me."

***

            Hyesung found himself against the wall, curled into a ball like a small child. It had been a while since Andy had left, but he still couldn't find the strength to get back on his feet.

            He let himself drown in his past memories, his previous life that he had never wanted to recollect ever again. He still remembered every detail of his first manager's face and how he had reminded himself every night that it wasn't his hyung's fault as he cried himself to sleep. He remembered the aching of his thighs, the swelling of his lips, and the numbing of his heart as if everything had happened just yesterday. He recalled the shame, the humiliation, the disgrace, the indignity... How he had lowered himself to someone who sold his body, desperately holding onto the foolish dream of a better, purer future that would never come. How he had endured it all, only comforted by the fact that his sacrifice was protecting the one soul he never wanted defiled.

            Except it had been a lie.

            "I promise. Andy will be safe."

            Everything had been a lie.

            "Hyesung?"

            Hyesung slowly looked up with red eyes when he heard the voice.

            "Hyesung?" The voice became alarmed. "What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

            "Dongwan..." he muttered with an empty smile.

            His friend crouched down in front of him with widened eyes. "Are you alright? Are you okay?"

            No... Dongwan, it hurts... Everything hurts...

            "Yeah... I'm fine."

            "Don't lie to me," Dongwan snapped. He quickly wrapped his arms around him, surprising the younger. It was strange how warm and comforted he felt in his embrace. "Please... Please don't cry in front of me..."

            "Don't play these games. Especially with the other members. You're hurting them."

            Hyesung abruptly pushed him away and wiped his tears with his sleeve. "I'm fine," he repeated rather coldly.

            Dongwan sighed and brushed Hyesung's bangs out of his eyes. "Hey, you don't have to pretend in front of me," he told him gently. Hyesung found himself getting lost in their tender brown hue.

            "I... I can't do this anymore," Hyesung heard himself confess.

            "Can't do what anymore, Hyesung?" Dongwan asked softly.

            I can't do this stupid test with you anymore. I can't give you any more false hope.

            I can't pretend like there's a chance for your love to ever be more than one-sided.

            "Let's go on a date," he said as he looked away from those kind eyes.

            "A date?" Shock shot across Dongwan's face. "W-What about the test?"

            "I change my mind," Hyesung asserted. Dongwan still stared at him in disbelief. "Don't tell me you don't want to?"

            "I..." The older man crinkled his face, deep in thought. Then a wide, foolish grin possessed his lips. "Of course! Let's go on a date!"

            Hyesung felt a pang of sadness in his chest as he witnessed his friend's happiness that would only be fleeting. I will tell you everything, Dongwan, he promised in silence. I will make sure you don't hurt because of me anymore.

            I will make you understand what kind of horrid person I truly am.

            He took his friend's hand and got on his feet. He forced himself to smile back as he made his final resolution.

            I will make sure you fall out of love with me.

[A/N]: Yayyy, I finally finished this chapter >.< I wrote the first half like a month ago lol. I'm so sorry for the super late update... I was victimized by a major writer's block and had a really hard time writing this chap :( Hope you guys enjoyed though (despite the fact that I wrote most of this high off lack of sleep lol). Btw, Jonghyun (the big, bad wolf manager in this chap) is an OC so don't think that I'm trying to accuse Shinhwa's previous managers of actually doing something so terrible! The "selling your body for fame" concept has been on my mind for a while actually... I really don't think (and really, really hope not!) that our oppas had to go through this but this is the backstory that I shaped this fic off of anyway. Again, I must thank each and every one of you for supporting me! It really means the world to me <3 Please keep commenting and upvoting my fics~ Love you <3