“You’re going too fast.” It was more of a plea than criticism. Andy tightly clutched onto his safety handle as the car swerved rapidly without slowing down.

                The driver didn’t hear him. His eyes were intently focused on the road, overcome with distress and panic. Bright colors of Seoul traffic raced by them like dancing lights. Andy almost cried out loud when they narrowly dodged a truck that had attempted to merge onto their lane.

                “! Watch where you’re ing going!” Junjin yelled as he honked his horn.

                “Be careful!” Andy shouted as another vehicle almost rammed them on the side.

                “People…” Junjin raged, fuming. “People are always so damn stupid. Always getting in the ing way – “

                “Pull over!” Andy cried, overwhelmed. “You’re not in the right state of mind to drive!”

                “I… I have to get to him. I have to reach him. I should be there.” Andy watched as the driver’s nails sunk deeper into the leather of the steering wheel.

                “If we die on the road, we’re never going to see him again!” Andy reasoned desperately.

                The older man glared at him for a second then sighed, his senses returning to him. He pulled over sharply to the side of the road, slamming down on the brakes.

                “What’s the matter with you?” Andy started shouting when the car had come to a complete stop. “I understand that it’s urgent to see Hyesungie hyung – I’m worried about him, too. But you’re going to kill us if you don’t calm down!”

                Junjin sat dejectedly, burying his face in his shaking hands. “I-I need to protect him. I need to make sure he’s okay.”

                “He’s going to be okay,” Andy said in an attempt to comfort the man.

                “You don’t know that,” Junjin murmured in agony. “I need him to be okay. For my own sake.”

                “Does he mean that much to you?” Andy whispered, crestfallen.

                “I would do anything for him,” Junjin confessed under his breath. “I would kill for him. I would or be ed by thousands – men and women – to make sure he was okay.”

                Andy bit down hard on his lip as tears stung his eyes.

                “Do… Do you love him?”

                “Of course, I love him—“

                Andy shook his head. He reached out and gently held his face in his hands. God, the man was so beautiful, it was absolutely breathtaking. They met eyes, two different dark brown hues, and for once in Andy’s life, it seemed as if all the stars had aligned in his universe.

                “Do you love him the way I love you?”

                Junjin held his gaze, his body still trembling. The two continued to look into each other’s eyes as if their fate depended on it.

                “No.”

                Andy’s fingers tightened their hold on him, digging into his thick black locks of hair.

                “When was the last time you asked yourself what you wanted?”

                The other refused to answer. He just stared back, demanding that Andy looked deep into his soul to discover the truth himself. Andy smiled, not in a sweet pleasant way, but in a dark, powerful manner; He was starting to know the man sitting before him better than he had ever known himself.

                “What is it that you want?”

                Their bodies collided and the pressure of the other man’s body against his almost knocked the breath out of his lungs. The very next moment, they found themselves overcrowded in the passenger seat. The tall man angled his head low to avoid the car’s ceiling as he tangled his limbs with the other. Everything happened so fast, a trial of desperation and lust that had been delayed for way too long. Andy tasted smoke on his tongue and felt a firm hand grasping his leg, making its way to his inner thigh. As the other rushed to rip open the buttons of his shirt, Andy was hit with a sudden wave of insecurity.

                He drew back, but when the other did not stop, he restrained him by grabbing his shoulders. He didn’t want to be the weak one, he didn’t want to be the vulnerable one. Not anymore. He didn’t want to rest in his hyung’s shadow – he had to be certain that this was real.

                “Tell me,” he commanded.

                “Anything,” Junjin swore, yearning for more. There was chaos about him – pain, brokenness, hunger, desire. Andy loved them all. He loved every dark and twisted piece of this man.

                “Tell me that I am the one that you want,” Andy decreed, a king ordering his knight.

                His knight grinned, his face lit sinisterly. “You are the one that I want,” he whispered in his ear, his voice too seducing to be the truth. But his lips made their way down to graze his neck and the king gave into his temptations, losing his righteousness in their velvet dance.

***

                As soon as Minwoo arrived at the hospital with Dongwan, he knew something had changed about Eric. After decades of knowing his friend, Minwoo knew Eric was a focused man. Eric was a hunter, a man best motivated by laying his eyes on a prey. While some deemed him obsessive by nature, Minwoo respected him for his unwavering persistence. Minwoo knew he would never rest until he obtained his goal.

                And he had never failed. Except once.

                Minwoo knew it drove him mad and made him restless at night.

                When Dongwan had volunteered to go out and fetch breakfast for the three, Minwoo decided it was time to tread on Eric’s dangerous waters.

                “Have you heard from Junjin and Andy?” he asked casually as they sat side by side, sipping on their coffee.

                “Not at all. You would think they’d be worried sick that Hyesung’s in the hospital,” Eric scoffed.

                “I thought Choongjae would be the first one here. I’m sure something important came up,” Minwoo replied. “Did he call at all?”

                “My phone battery died hours ago,” Eric said, frowning. “How about yours?”

                “Mine, too,” Minwoo answered, checking his phone just to make sure. “We’ve been here the entire night. Do you think Hyesung’s going to be alright?”

                Eric sighed. “The doctor said that he was in critical condition. But the worst has passed.”

                “Thank goodness.” Minwoo glanced over at his friend who was absentmindedly scratching his nearly empty cup. “I’m glad you were with him.”

                “I saw him lying there, Minwoo,” Eric stated, his eyes fixated on empty space. “He was there, but it was as if he wasn’t. Just a limp body lying on the floor.”

                Minwoo shivered at the thought. If he ever saw Hyesung in that state… He shuddered just thinking about it.

                “I thought about what I would be without Hyesung,” Eric continued. The paper cup in his hand was slowly losing its form under his tightening grip. “I thought about it then I realized I couldn’t. I realized my existence would not mean anything anymore.”

                He got up as Minwoo watched him hopelessly. “I’m going to see if I can charge my phone somewhere,” he told him. “Do you want more coffee?”

                “No, thanks,” Minwoo croaked, his throat dry.

                Eric nodded and then started to walk away. He halted in his tracks.

                “I’m sorry I can’t keep our promise,” he told his friend, his tone sincere. “I shouldn’t have promised something that was impossible for me to keep.”

                Minwoo followed him with his eyes as he walked away, not sure how to feel. He tried to wrap his head around the entire situation, but he was too tired, whether it was from all the waiting or from the complexity of recent drama. Behind the hospital door in front of him, there was a man who had created all this chaos, a storm that threatened to break their years of friendship into pieces. Minwoo smiled, remembering how he had once been obsessed with the man himself. He remembered their dinners together, laughing as they tried their best to make pasta. He recalled how their fingers always met to interlace with one another. His touch, his scent, his voice. Everything about him had given him hope, made him feel more alive.

                And he had thrown all of it away.

                Somehow, his feet had made their way to the door, the thin barrier that separated him and his past lover. Minwoo opened it slowly, not sure why he was here, but knowing it was right.

                “I thought you would never come.”

                Minwoo was surprised to see the man sitting up in his bed, smiling angelically at him. His face was pale, his skin like fragile glass, and his thin body so vulnerable. But the way his lips curled upwards and his black eyes stared back at him was full of strength – full of control and authority.

                Shin Hyesung knew he still had power over him.

                “How long have you been up?” Minwoo asked, his voice pathetic. He had already been enslaved to this man the moment he had laid his eyes on him.

                Hyesung pouted as he crossed his arms. “Not too long. I heard Eric’s voice and I didn’t really feel like coming out. You know how intense he can be.”

                Minwoo took a step towards him as if under a spell. “We were all worried sick about you.”

                “Well, I’m worried, too. What the heck happened?” Hyesung asked casually.

                “You… You don’t remember?”

                Hyesung shook his head. “Last I remember is… you.”

                “Me?”

                “Yes, you. You owed me something.”

                Minwoo finally reached him, puzzled. Hyesung instantly took his hands in his. “What did I owe you?” Minwoo asked carefully.

                Hyesung smiled again and, before Minwoo could react, he planted a soft kiss on his lips.

                “That,” Hyesung claimed sheepishly.

                “H-Hyesung,” Minwoo stuttered, confounded.

                With a frown, Hyesung questioned, “What’s the matter?” He inched away, noticing the strange tension in the air. “Has… something changed?”

                Minwoo’s heart dropped. What was going on? Did Hyesung really not remember?

                Was it the incident? Had the shock broken his mind?

                “Minwoo yah, you’re worrying me,” Hyesung pressed with concern. He looked like a young boy with fear creeping upon him. He threw his arms and embraced Minwoo, holding on tightly. “What’s wrong? We’re okay, right? Nothing has changed between us, right?”

                A part of Minwoo seemed to crack and he held his breath, not sure if this was a dream or warped reality. He had to tell Hyesung the truth: why he was here, what he had gone through over the past years, and worst of all… what had happened between them. He had to tell him everything, this sweet child in his arms who had somehow erased all the troubles he had faced from his mind. This lovely child who would soon lose both his purity and happiness from learning the truth.

                Minwoo put his arms around him, feigning protection. He wanted to be his shield, his armor. He had lost his chance to save him the last time… If the universe was giving him another chance, he was going to take it.

               “Nothing,” Minwoo whispered sweetly, already justifying his atrocious lie. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just worried, that’s all.”

                “Don’t ever leave me,” Hyesung demanded, leaning against him.

                Minwoo knew he was already trapped, already in a war he could not win. If Hyesung regained his memories, he was done for. And both Dongwan and Eric would kill him for manipulating the situation. No one would support him – not even his dongsengs, not even himself. What he was doing was cruel and terrible, making false pretenses to his friend in vulnerability. But he just couldn’t help it. It felt the same as all those years ago when Shin Hyesung had been his and his alone. And that feeling was too sweet to lose.

                “I won’t ever leave you,” he swore. Now Eric wasn’t the only one who had promised something he could not keep. Except Minwoo was willing to risk everything on the line for this impossible oath, both his love and friendship.

[A/N]: An update! It's been... very long. I'm sure a lot of you don't even remember the plot of this fic... I already had the storyline scripted out, but it was honestly very difficult to continue writing for this fic because of how long I stayed away from it. Hence the choppiness in my writing (plus I'm super sick and on meds, so who knows what mess I wrote lol). However, I still wanted to move forward, and I'm hoping the next chapter won't be as jagged.. I am still planning to finish this story! So I really appreciate all your support and love <3 Thank you so much! I will try to update weekly from now on~