Chapter 3

What had killed Junsu inside was not only the thought of not seeing her but what he had done to her. He knew how fragile she was, like an irreplaceable piece of china; he knew how he shattered her, how he had broken her, physically and emotionally. And it was because of that, that each day, each passing day, was just another day of torture, of pain. It was just another day of struggle to fight a battle with the monster of the past because it was using those past memories he had of her, against him.

“Good Morning, sleepy head.” He saw a woman with beautiful brown eyes smiling down on him. It was her. The sun was shining down on her, making her look like an angel. He brought his hand and caressed her face gently, which made her close her eyes. He slowly brought his head up to kiss her when he suddenly woke up. She was gone. It was a dream?

“No.” He said as he shot up from his bed. He scrambled to his feet then ran to every room of the condo. He slammed every door opened, hoping that she would be there. He called out for her name repeatedly, hoping she would respond back.

No one was there.

 No one responded.

            His heart fell when reality hit him. What he saw and felt, was just a dream. What are you doing? Come on, Junsu. She’s gone. It’s been like this for two years already.  He thought to himself as he sat down on his couch. He looked over towards his side table and saw the picture of Fei and him smiling at each other. He reached over the table with his right hand and grabbed the picture frame. He examined it, trying to remember what had happened on that particular day that caused them to smile like idiots.

            He laughed as he remembered the memory. The memory was of their 3^rd year anniversary. Fei was so mad because she had thought Junsu had forgotten about their anniversary. She kept yelling at him until he kissed her to shut her up. She became even madder at him for kissing her. So after he got her really mad, he decided to go down on one knee and propose to her with the engagement ring and a rose. She didn’t know how to react, didn’t know what to say, so she started to cry while hitting him, calling him an idiot.

He kept laughing and laughing as he recalled the memory. But, the laughter he had, eventually turned into uncontrollable crying. It had won. The monster of the past had won this battle against Junsu. He brought his head down and tightened the grip he had on the picture frame, crying so hard. The tears kept falling down his face and onto the glassy part of the picture frame.

            “If I just had one more chance, I promise to make things right. I won’t hurt her, I won’t make her cry, I won’t make her suffer…” He said softly. “Just please, please, give me one more chance.” His forehead touched the picture frame. “Just one more chance.”

Fate was tricky; it liked to play games with people. It either chooses the worst or best time to come in.  For Junsu, the decision whether fate came in at the best time was going to be up to him.

"I'm a fool that can't do anything without you" 

- Lyn 린 - I'm sorry