"I'm sorry it turned out that way," Junsu said, stirring his tea. "I talked to hyung earlier too and it wasn't pretty."

  I sighed, slouching in my seat on the couch. The twins had lent us their office for our brunch meeting and I was more than happy to get out of the house from under Jace's judgmental gaze. I wanted to break something across his head when he shot his snide comments across the table during breakfast. If Minwoo had caught any of that, I was going to kill him. 

   "What's his problem?" I snapped. "He's acting like all this is my fault. He's the one who didn't take me seriously. How can he try to hog me now that I've found someone who treasures me?"

   Junsu shrugged, lifting his cup to his mouth. "But I know better than to just dismiss his attitude as just that." His eyes cut across to me and I shifted in my seat. "Especially not when you indulge him. In some ways, you're just as bad for enabling him, Lulu. He told me about what happened on the plane. You could have stopped him but you chose not to. And yesterday you were the one who put a hand on him first. I know that he has some things that he needs to straighten out in his head, but you're not much better."

  Andrew's face flashed through my mind. Then how was it? Huh?...Did you like it? 

   My nose wrinkled. "Don't you do this to me too, Jun. I already got chewed out by my boyfriend and my brother. I don't need you to add yourself to that list."

  He heaved a heavy sigh and placed down his cup, puling me around the table to settle on the cushions beside him. His arms wrapped around me, bringing me into his chest which I buried my nose in gratefully.

   Lips pressed to my hair. "I knew I shouldn't have given you up. Even though I noticed how you looked at him and how often he would talk about you, I should have pretended I didn't see it. If I had, we would probably still be together and happy and none of this mess would have occurred."

  It was selfish of me, but I sank into his embrace and reveled in his warmth. Junsu was always warm to me--giving off comfort and a sense of security like a beloved safety blanket. After Jace had introduced me to his friends, we were the ones who hit it off first. Of course since it was still very early in their careers it was hard to see them very often, but sometimes he would sneak out to the park and meet me there with a chocolate bar he swiped before dance practise. He would tell me he couldn't eat it himself because of his diet or whatever excuse he could manage at the time, but he didn't see a reason to waste it. A dumb excuse to give after going so obviously out of your way to bring someone something, though I bought it every time. When I thought about it, I realized that we never officially started dating. There was no big declaration to our group of mixed friends, no threats of getting beat up from my brother--we were just dancing along the edge of a relationship, flirting our way toward the goal. There were occasions that I'd see the hesitance on his face, as if he wanted to tell me something. I'd hold my breath at those times, anxiety bubbling in my chest until he would dismiss it with a change of topic and a too-happy smile. Somehow, the time never seemed right to confess, but we were happy.

  And then Jaejoong came along like the firework he is and set me ablaze, kissing me one night at a mutual friend's birthday party. Of course it was only for a game of truth or dare, but what were once frequent glances at him in curiosity became longing stares across the room. I couldn't tell Junsu what had happened--he'd have been heartbroken that so much had changed during his bathroom break. Even now, I couldn't bring myself to confess my treachery. Was I really the deceitful tease Jace was making me out to be?

   "Hey." Junsu had his hands on my face, making me look at him. "Come back. Where did you go?"

   My lips pressed together. "Nowhere," I lied. "I was just thinking that maybe...maybe things wouldn't be so different. Maybe he still would have found a way to dazzle me into the brain dead state of infatuation we ended up with."

   The tension in his limbs which were holding me to him seemed to drain away. Slowly, his arms slid back down to the couch because he saw exactly what it was that I was saying, despite the pain he had to move through to accept it. Even if we had kept on in our way, I was still fairly sure that with the way his hyung behaved with me after that party, I would have been stuck between the two of them instead of him and Andrew. Not much of a difference.

   "He's that important to you?" The question wasn't one full of contempt, but rather raw curiosity; he had no idea when I had fallen to this state.

  And I, honestly, couldn't fault him since I couldn't really get a grip on myself either. 

  He didn't push me to answer, taking my sudden change of topic as hint enough that I was not the girl he thought I was. I was turning out to be someone different from what everyone thought I was--even myself. I didn't want to talk to anyone when I got home. Jace had gone out, most likely to where he could dig up more things that weren't his business. Mom was out as well, leaving a note that said that the fridge needed to be restocked, although upon inspection I found the fridge with more food than our fridge back home had on a good day. Knowing her, she must have sensed the tension between her children and was out to set it right with food--not the worst decision I've seen her make--which left me home alone in the empty house I knew like the back of my hand to shuffle about with a bag of chips in my hands.

   "Those are mine, actually," I heard from behind me causing me to twist around, almost getting whiplash for my efforts.

   "Appa." Minwoo moved out of the shadows of the hallway to come into the living room to have a seat on the couch. "I thought you were at work."

   "I wasn't feeling very good, so I took the day off," he explained, as I plopped down beside him. "A fever or something. Your mom nearly had a fit."

   I smiled imagining her reaction. "That's cause you're never sick, appa. Ever. I wonder what happened."

   "That's actually what I want to ask you. You and Jason are awfully stiff around each other. Now, I know that Jaejoong and Junsu are your friends, but if they are coming between you two, I don't approve at all."

  The air around us suddenly became to warm, my skin tightening. The last person I wanted to have this conversation with was sitting here now pretty much telling me that he was three seconds from stepping in. Oh god, could my life get any worse?

   I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, placing a salt and vinegar chip on my tongue. "They aren't coming between anything." The assurance was hollow even to my own ears. "The disagreement is solely between Jace and I."

   "Is that why I overheard him on his phone telling one of them to forget about you? That you're not worth the headache and you have no idea what you want?" Minwoo didn't have to look to let me know that he was verbally side eyeing me. "I wanted to discuss this with you before ragging on him for throwing you under the bus like he has no loyalty whatsoever. I'm not going to ask you which one of them it is because i have a few words on both of them, but I want to know: does he make you feel the way that Andrew does? Is it the same kind of affection? Or more intense?"

  The chip bag crackled in my lap as I considered the question seriously. I had never thought of it that way before and now that I was, there were a few things bothering me.

   "Everything about him is intense," I confessed. "Andrew is...safe, familiar territory. I'd be lying if I said it was the same, but I don't think that I can say that I like him more than my boyfriend, appa."

   "Is that because you feel as if that's the respectable thing?" At my frown, he went on. "I know that you may feel the need to focus on your feelings for Andrew out of the need to reassert his place in your mind as your significant other, but if you're being honest with yourself, its the other guy, right? He would be the one who makes you feel more excitement and adoration, wouldn't he? He's the one who you feel more anxious to see even if you aren't looking for him. The one you think about when you stare up at the ceiling of your room and the word 'want' crosses your mind."

   "Appa!​" The truth shot through my chest like an arrow, a piercing jolt of shame causing my heart to pound.

  But Minwoo glanced over at me impassively. There was neither judgment nor disappointment in his gaze, only understanding. His hand slipped into the chip bag in my lap taking a gracious handful that he picked from eagerly. How he could be so nonchalant after pegging me down like a bug, I had no idea. It was a little scary, to be honest, that he had read me so easily. Perhaps he knew what it felt like to cheat on a partner like this. He was a respectable man now, but maybe he wasn't always like this.

   I lowered my eyes guiltily into my hands. "What do I do? I don't want to hurt Andrew but I don't want to hurt myself either."

  Minwoo laid back in the couch, a model of absolute comfort. "Be honest. Tell both boys straight how you feel and what it is you're fighting with. Most importantly," he advised. "Be honest with yourself. Don't bury your feelings or things will only end badly and you will be unhappy regardless of which side you choose."

  His words haunted me even in my sleep. Had I really been going about this the wrong way? What did I have to do to get Jaejoong out of my system completely so I could move on with my life?

  There was no way to find out until I spent time with him again.

  Alone.