PAIN

Shadow of an Angel

Pain - is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage.


 

Taecyeon's POV

he watched her from his position in the corner of the room like a cat watching its kittens, never leaving her presence and always guarding. He stayed at her side like her shadow and her guide...

he watched as her fingers seem to skim through the white & black blocks in row with sad longing and heart wrenching melody. As her fingers moved from one high "do.." to another flat "re" from rows of white & black keys of the piano, the melody engulfed his heart and mind with her true and real heart, and he felt her pain.

As he watched her and heard her and sensed her, he felt her soul in the darkest of oblivion. with her feelings like a draggy old movie from the 20's.

He sat in the corner of the room looking at her and listening to her sad music. he battled with himself, with showing himself or living in the shadow silently guiding her through all the heartache...

just when he though the music finished with a cresendo of high notes, she banged all her hands to the keys of the piano and called into the dark night of the room, "oppa, i need you... come back..."

"nichkhun oppa, my superman, i need you..." she whispered brokenly and unshed tears lingered at the crevices of her eyes.as she placed her head on her hands on the piano..

and the sad heart wrenching music she played was changes to the uncontrollable weeping and cries, "oppa.... oppaa.... oppa.."

and as much as he would have like to be right next to her, he knew that she needed time, she needed to breathe by herself, & she needed to stand on her own 2 feet.

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Yoona's POV

she watched as a thousand snow flakes showered the earth with its pure white confetti, her breathing became even. and though her eyes strained from the endless tears she cried for almost 3 weeks, she could still see the pureness of the white blanket in the street

each passing day she wakes up from a dream. a dream where nichkhun will come to her bed kiss her forehead gently but when reality finally ushers itself in her dreamlike state, pain seeps through her heart that crushes every single will she has.

now looking at the white blanket of purity she sat there hating the beauty and creation that was bestowed upon earth

she held her right wrist with her left hand. turning her hand around it a dozen times, by her pulse..

'i want it to end..' she thought brokenly as she felt her heart and mind and soul slowly, agonizingly & turturingly break with the realization that nichkhun was no longer by her side.

'please oppa can you hear me...' she cried brokenly

'you said you were my super man ,that will always be by my side.." she grudgingly accused nichkhun

'please come back, you promised me...' she cried to herself'

then screaming her heart out, "make it end... "

she clutched & hugged herself into a tight ball and tears that felt like blood fell from her eyes as her sobs came with the same intesity as a storm. it rackedvher body like earthquakes in the faultlines...

'why not me' and there was no answer

'it should have been me..." she screamed to the walls

'this is my doing...' she cried her guilty heart to the isolation of her apartment.

and in the lonely & empty room. her voice, cries, screams came and resounded, echoed back at her answering her with pure deafening silence

in 3 weeks of crying. the intensity of her loneliness,the agonizing turture of guilt and pain was simply crushing all sanity in her...

with the 3 weeks of pure silence, with her last scream of, "oppa i will follow you.. okay" she asked to the wind hoping that it will carry her heartful message

and as if her nichkhun oppa was just there by her side, she heard him call, 'Yoona... dont be hurt anymore...'

'oppa..?' she looked up wishing it was nichkhun

"please dont hurt anymore.." said the familiar heartwarming voice but still somewhat there was something uniquely unfamiliar about it

"live Yoona... please live..."called the voice from the wind

she looked around, hair flying all over the place, "o-o-oo--op-pp--opppaaa.." she stuttered with straining voice

"please Yoona... live & fulfill your destiny..." his voice that seem to double & echo was filling her thought and head

'oppa, you're here right..? this is not a dream...?' she asked standing up on her weak jello-like legs

then she felt a very familiar warm presence, 'oppa where are you..?'

"hmmnnnn..." answered the voice

'oppa please...i dont care if i go insane just as long as you are with me..' she turned around looking for the source of the voice but to no avail...

"oppa..!" she screamed with her straining throat guaranteed with a million pins pain

then as turned around feeling the very familiar warm feeling on her neck she started to turn, then she felt her on her back stopping her every movement.

then she felt the whisper saying, "please live.."

and she felt the warm familiar touch on her right arm and she marveled at the touch, it had felt like forever since she felt a touch from another being and she called "..ooppaa.." in a broken whisper

and with more presence and warmness he said,"please live..."

.

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Taecyeon's POV

he stood just a millimeter from her, touching her right arm. he felt her leaping emotion like a panther on a prey hunt. he knew he was on the edge of everything. she was at the boundaries of sanity and insanity and he felt compelled to call her, to comfort her, to talk to her..

"Yoona..." he said as he caressed her arm

"Oppa...?" she whispered under her breath.

he felt the tremble in her body, it started from her feet stright to her heart, and the arms she was touching was shivering..

she turned around with her head bowed, he felt her doubt, dreams, wishes, hope, and guilt all at the same time

looking at her bowed head he felt her head shook and the convulsing tears came...

and with her weak legs already struggling to stand her up and the screaming sobs racking her body, he suddenly loosened his hold on her arms

she placed both her hands on her face, her crying screaming all over the room & voice being carried until the corner of the street.

he kneeled in front of her and she with the sorry and dark picture of her crying her hearts out, he felt the pull to her. he felt gravitated to her like the moon to the earth

and in a split of a second his arms circled her in an embrace both for her and for him.

it was an hour of screaming cries and incoherent pleas from her. he stayed at her side and she was imprisoned in the spontaneous embrace he gave..

"are you him..?" came the silent voice in a the most low volume whispered she has ever said

he knew what she was asking. as much as he wanted to fulfill her silent plea of denial, he knew that she knew the answer to her question...

and as much as he wanted to break the truth to her, he couldnt add another nail pierced to her heart and all he could say was, "Yoona you must live... "

"live..." he whispered to her

"live..."he repeated in a more powerful voice

"and live your destiny.." he said with finality.

cause they both knew that he was not him..? he was not nichkhun. he was not her lover. he was not her dead lover come back to life, to her side..

and also cause they both knew that she knew who he was. or more of, felt who he is. cause she knew that he was not of this earth. and that he was a messenger and an angel.

and through all the silence all he wanted to say was, "my name is taecyeon..".

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Yoona's POV

she knew he was by her side again. she can feel her as much as the cold breeze of the winter season. she tried to block him from every senses of his being but he seemed like the air she breath, he was always around her.

she hated him & hated the fact that time when he finally revealed himself to her. she wished he had been nichkhun but she knew deep inside that he wasnt. cause those people that she love that was taken from her never ever come back

'that is how cruel life is...' she thought.

and now looking at the tall, boyish guy playing & frolicking like a grade school kid in the cold snow she recalled that moment as she closed her eyes at the present

'oppa, its you right..?' she thought as she was slumped on the cold floor crying, sobbing, weeping her heart out. she felt him - warm, somewhat comforting and surreal..

she closed her eyes afraid to look, to see and to sense him.

she was taken into his embrace. a bear hug within the confines of his warm, securing, gentle, pure & familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time embrace.

she sobbed, screamed her pain into the open, in his arms for what seemed like eternity.

it was a reveal for her to have a shoulder to cry on, no one ever cared about the weirdo jinxed little girl names Im Yoona that was she. but now with his presence she marveled at how a simple touch of another being, was a marvel to experience.

but in the slightly comforting moments her thought went to nichkhun, 'please, its you oppa... right..?'

as she cried and cried, she knew, felt the truth of his true identity.

after eternity of crying, she restored her courage & finally stopped herself from believeing an illusion that her oppa was back. she slightly moved her head and motioned for him to let her go.

when she did, she was welcomed by the sight of his glowing and warm sight. he was a man with the same age at him, but looking at his mytical eyes she saw the age of his soul.

she knew upon looking at him recognizing him as the man who helped her when she met heechul. she knew of who he was, what he was and what his purpose was into coming & finally revealing himself to her. and the confirmation that he wasnt what she wish he was and the truth of his true identity was like a double edge sword pierced in to her already broken heart...

she was watching him from a distance, she knew now that he is an angel 'how ironic is that' she thought half heartedly. she knew his mission from the words he spoke to her a couple of day ago, "you have a gift, a gift to save people, you must use it.." he had said & all she wanted to do was scream the unfairness of the whole experience

she refused to do the higher poweredd bidding, 'what have they ever done for me....'

'they take away everything that's important to me, no one is left.. for me...' she thought at her loss...

she hated his presence, as warm as comforting it was, his presence she hated what it signified. the unfair bids from the most unrighteous person

then from the corner of her eyes she saw a a dog staggering on her feet, she ran to it looking at the sad looks from the dogs eyes, he was pleading to be save, struggling to live...

she sat beside the wounded dog, then words stuck and buried came back up, words she never wanted to say & think again. cursed words, 'please save her...' she cried

as she felt the familiar squeezy sensation of warmness traveling to her body towards the dog, she felt him coming back to life & safety. but she also felt steady physical pain on her leg that she has never experience before in her healing.

she continued her cries in her head, igonoring the unfamiliar sensation, 'please save her...'

and as higher power hear the prayers the dog now stood in it 4 legs - steady & strong. she patted the dog and barks that seem to express gratitude was felt by her

looking as the dog ran around her, she saw the life she has saved & felt the losing of sensation in her leg and a tiny feel came over her, and she understood now the consequesnce of saving the dog.

she thought out loud, "since i have no more loved ones anymore to exhange for a life saved so this pain means that the the consequesnce of this.. Me..."

she closed her eyes and relived and fully sense the physical pain. in her physical agony she thought, 'this is as painful but not as the agonizing as the the pain in the heart'.

she watched again as the angel that was going to be her guide in life, played & frolicked and she understood that the the pain in her foot was his gift. but as she lingered of the pain she knew that no one was non the wiser about the truth..

she now see the path laid out to her, 'save people like all the loved one said to her before - her umma, her appa and her nichkhun oppa. and the best part is no one need to suffer but her...'

she stood looking at the horizon as the sun sets with its golden beautry over the white blacket of the mountain. her face was blank as the snow in the mountain , no one was non the wiser about the her true pain, physical pain. but then she had years of poker face to deceive everyone of the truth about her....

healing and saving. there had always been a price & now it was her...

the human creator was asking for payment, and she is going to pay with life as much as her loved ones paid for their life. she was slowly giving her life...

she feels it now - burning inside her gut...

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Comments

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bangonew
#1
omo yoona!
midnightbutterfly
#2
Chapter 8: omg this is so amazing
i'm a little obsessed with taecyoon right now :3
byungshinnn #3
Chapter 8: congratulations!
QueenChoding
#4
Your oneshot got randomly featured, yet you're not even active anymore! OTL. cmon.
KimTaengo
#5
congratulations
123me321
#6
Congrats:)
strawbumbeez
#7
ohhh congrat
sea0horse #8
congratulations!
Sonixx #9
congrats :)