You felt cold on your arms, warm on your chest and something prickly on your legs. You opened your eyes to see Zitao’s neck. You remembered what the two of you had done and on top of the greatness you felt, you also regretted it.

            Last night was the one and only night you’ll ever share with him for the rest of your life. Today was the last day you’ll be with Exo. The last day you’ll be with Zitao. You wanted to cry but you couldn’t. Not today. You had to show that you were strong. After a minute of enjoy Zitao’s embrace you slowly pushed yourself away.

            “You’re awake?” He asked.

You looked up to his face wide eyed. “How long have you been awake?”

            “I dunno. A while.”

            “Why didn’t you-”

            “I liked watching you sleep.” He said cutting you off.

You sat up and pulled the towel around your body more. “You better go before everyone wakes up.”

            “(Your name), we aren’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”

            “I know.” You said turning to face him and flash a fake smile.

Zitao sighed and stood up before looking for his clothes. He dressed quickly before walking up behind and knelt down to embrace you again. “We still have a few hours.” He whispered.

            “Go.” You told him.

He let go and walked away to the wall. You turned to watch him jump over. You could feel the lump in your throat grow bigger as you got up to grab your clothes and walk into the house.

            You got in the shower and let yourself cry. You fell to the shower floor and let the water fall on your back. That one perfect moment had shattered. It shouldn’t have happened at all. After all the tears had fallen you got out and dried off before going to your room to dress. No swimming suit today. You heard the garage open and you knew your grandparents were home from the bingo tournament. You walked out and saw them with a bag of prizes and a box of doughnuts and coffee.

            “Have you eaten?”

You shook your head.

            “Have some of these then.” Grandpa said handing the box to you.

You took it and walked to the kitchen to get a plate and glass of milk. You sat at the table and ate a couple doughnuts.

            An hour had passed and the doorbell rang. It was time to pretend. You answered the door and let Exo in. Sehun linked his arm with yours and pulled you to the couch in the living room.

            “We got you a present!”

            “You didn’t have to.”

            “We did.” Luhan said sitting next to Sehun.

Although he looked like an innocent deer he was protective of Sehun.

            Kyungsoo handed you a box and you ripped off the wrapping paper. You tore off the packing tape and opened the box. Inside was Exo merchandise. Even though you already had some of the things in the box it was still nice to have more. You smiled for real.

            “This is amazing. Thank you.” You looked up to Exo and they nodded. “And I have a gift for you.” You said standing up. You walked back to your room and grabbed the scrape book you had finished the day before and walked back out to hand it to Joonmyun. “This is for you all.”

            “No, you can’t give this to us!” He said trying to give it back.

You shook your head. “No I have copies of all the pictures this is for all of you.”

Everyone huddled around Joonmyun as he started to flip through the pages of the book. They laughed and commented on the photos inside.

            “This is the best scrape book we’ve ever gotten.” Chanyeol said looking up to you.

            “I’m glad you like it.”

            They all had one final glass of sun brewed tea with you. The feeling couldn’t be held back anymore and Kris was the first to walk up to you and hug you. Slowly everyone followed and it became one hug.

            “You’re the best fan ever.” Kris said resting his chin on your head.

            “You’re the best band ever.”

One by one they let go to hug you individually. Their manager was waiting at the front door.

            “Keep in touch.” Jongin said handing you his phone number.

            “Send me some recipes.” Kyungsoo said kissing your cheek.

Zitao was last and he only held you. “If you’re ever in Korea or China. It doesn’t matter where. I will find you.”

Tears stung at your eyes again. “Zitao.”

            “I love you Panda.”

A cry escaped your lips.

            “I’ll never forget you. I promise.” He said placing his hands on either side of your face to kiss you.

“Zitao.” The manager called.

You pulled away. “Go.”

            “I don’t want to let you go.”

            “Neither do I. But I’m not the only fan.”

            “You’re the only one I want.”

You wiped away tears.

            “Promise me you’ll be okay.”

            “Okay…as longs as you don’t hurt yourself anymore.”

He chuckled. “I’ll try.” He embraced you one last time and kissed the top of your head.

            “Zitao!”

            “Coming!” He shouted letting go. He turned without another word and you watched him walk out the door.

Your knees felt like caving in under your body but you used the motion to run after him. “Zitao! Zitao!” You called.

He turned back from getting in the van.

            “I love you too!” you shouted.

He smiled and got in the van. The door closed and drove off.