Coffee breaks had always been Himchan's sole period of pleasure in his mundane existence between choreography training, vocal tunings, and dodging fan-girls or stans. Usually, he would take two shots of black for breakfast, an Americano for lunch, cappuccino for tea and if lucky, another Americano before his five o'clock work-out session for extra boost and motivation. Then, his nighttime shots would be a couple of espressos, resulting in two probable situations. One, he would be able to doze off even with the manic doses of caffeine, or two, he wouldn't and would spend the rest of the night annoying the e out of Yongguk, who mildly speaking, discouraged his obsession towards the booster drink; since a hyper Himchan is equivalent to a talkative-drunk Himchan, or a Hyung-may-I-kiss-you, suggestive Himchan, which is not in the least y to begin with. But lack of caffeine leads to depression, and a neurotic, I'm-gonna-fecking-kill-all-you-minions-Himchan was not as easy to handle as a ersely suggestive Himchan, so the members put up with it.

But today, there was no Americano, cappuccino or even black Kenco, hence Himchan had to settle for an acceptable brand of espresso Jongup had managed to find in a well-shielded rack in the mini market.

But hey, he was happy, since the B.A.P members had been so cautious that they warned each and every one of the EXO members personally (with eye-blazing stares and finger guns) to keep their hands off the jar on the third marble counter in the pantry/kitchen so that the only caffeinated source in the convent was at Himchan's disposal. Except for the tea, that was well-guarded by Tao, since it was the only replacement that at least sounded equivalent to bubble-TEA.

It was nine at night on their first night at the convent, and Himchan was happily sipping on a mug of espresso when he started to hear a slight, yet shrill tapping. He started, looking around the kitchen suspiciously, in case it was the kids, but Sister Rosaria had made sure that they were upstairs, safely in bed and snoring as hard as little kids could. He turned back to his steaming beverage, eyes narrowed and his lips had just touched the porcelain surface when the tapping trailed into his ears again, followed by a slide that sounded strangely like...

Himchan pulled open the broom cupboard door by the counter and stared into the compartment full of neatly arranged brooms, mops, cloth and mainly at a huge mass that was hugging at a pail with one arm and another holding a plush pink bunny dressed in frilly material.

“Minseok,” Himchan said in a monotone voice, “what the heck are you doing here.”

Minseok shuddered at his name.

“Himchan, I'm positive I'm going psycho,” Minseok whimpered and scooted as much as he could to the left, gesturing for Himchan to crouch down next to him. Himchan hesitated, before settling next to his hyung, knees to his chin, “why, what's wrong?”

“Someone's stalking me, I'm not being narcissistic and crap. I'm fecking serious.”

“Dude, you're a celeb.”

“No, I mean, I'm being freaking investigated, stalked, haunted, pursued, targeted. I can't stand this no more, I need my life back,” Minseok's voice never went above a whimper.

“Minseok, you ought to know that you were going to have to deal with this kind of crap since the day you signed up for SM Ent., that company's security , no offense.”

“I didn't expect inside work.”

“Trust me, Minseok. At least stalkers are an inch better than baby-faced witches that gives you drinks spiked with constipation pills. I crapped my intestines out because of that crazy nut, and the members wonder why I have trust issues.”

“The only time,” Chanyeol's voice suddenly boomed into their eardrums and they looked up to see the smiling virus grinning at them at the door. The kitchen was suddenly occupied by him, Baekhyun and Yongguk. The other two seemed to be busy making some sort of sandwich that defied all physics laws, since it stood two feet high without a two-feet-long toothpick.

“The only time,” Chanyeol repeated, “I had trust issues is when I bought a packet of biscuits thinking that they were chocolate chips cookies, and they ended up being raisin diet snacks.”

“...really.”

“Yeah, you know what's upsetting?”

“Frankly,” Himchan replied, as Minseok rocked himself next to Himchan neurotically, “I don't give a cow-crap.”

“What's upsetting is that the biscuits were from the same company with the ones of the chocolate chip ones,” Chanyeol ranted on, blatantly ignoring Himchan and creepily still smiling, “I mean, the wrappings are the same and the colours were blue and green. How can anyone differentiate them?”

“Anyone can read the covering, Chanyeol,” Tao's voice trailed into the conversation.

“Heehee, covering.”

“Oh, hi, Yixing, you're up.” Yongguk called and Himchan thought he felt Minseok shiver at Yixing's voice.

“You know what I think?”

“I don't care,” Himchan groaned.

“I think that I'm a very simple person with simple needs and wants, and you know what I want?”

“Why don't you share your heartwarming thoughts on your simple needs with Yixing, over there, simple man?”

“Yixing, heehee, oh, that's me. Heehee, freaking weird. Heehee...”

“Make Yixing stop,” Minseok whined weakly.

“All I want,” Chanyeol's eyes grew starry, “is a sandwich that looks like the ones in the commercials, with flat lettuce and evenly cut onions and beef grilled to perfection.”

“Hawly e, just leave us alone.”

“And mayonnaise perfectly spread over the mozzarella, covered with an extra layer of milk cheese.”

“I'm pretty sure it's tartar sauce,” Baekhyun piped up, in the midst of poking an olive into the now three-feet-tall sub.

“Why don't you argue about that way over there...”

“I feel that it's useless to wish for a perfect relationship in a lifetime,” Chanyeol sighed dreamily, “and more productive to wish for a perfect sandwich, or a perfect raisin cookie packet that doesn't deceive you.”

“You're the only one decieved, Chanyeol,” Himchan muttered as Minseok knocked his head repeatedly against Himchan's shoulder.

“Or a burger that looks like the ones in commercials too.”

“Chanyeol,” Himchan pinched his bridge.

“I mean it's ridiculous! You watch an A&W ad., get your adrenaline and thyroxine glands triggered, march up to the nearest franchise and get a puny burger with ketchup all over the place...”

“How the heck are we supposed to eat this?” Yongguk interrupted Chanyeol, staring at the sub sandwich. Baekhyun, Tao and Chanyeol turned to it and Himchan took the opportunity to slam the door shut.

“You were saying?” Himchan turned back to Minseok with an exasperated sigh.

“I'm being stalked.”

“What, here?”

“No, not here, impossible. He's acting like some kind of nutcase via the line.”

“What, wait... he?”

“I'm not talking about fan-boys,” Minseok whispered, “this stalker has freedom to talk to me, to make sure I reply when he calls, and stalk me online as one of my friends.”

“Ignore 'em, block 'em, stop 'em. What's the dealio?”

“I can't, he's a sunbae.”

“Huh, you mean...”

Minseok's eyes darkened completely.

“Exactly. Kim Heechul is freaking haunting me, man.”

*

“Samuel, are you going to sleep or not?” Kris sighed as the three-feet tot appeared at his bedroom doorway for the third time that night as he was in the middle of unpacking. He took care to avoid looking at Luhan, who was shaving with the electronic shaver he'd nicked from Kris's accessory bag, as he cradled a dark knowledge about the device that Luhan musn't know ever.

Sehun shaves his legs with that thing.

This time, he noticed that Samuel was evidently upset, for the child was sniffing profusely. “Kid, what's up?” Kris asked, putting down his shaving cream, and kneeling down in front of Samuel.

“My nose tingles,” Samuel sniffed again and there were tears in his eyes.

Oh , Kris' heart turned cold, “Okay, kid, let me...”

Samuel sneezed.

Kris sighed with relief, “kid, you've only got a cold,” he said, feeling up Samuel's forehead, “why don't you put on extra clothes?”

“It doesn't matter,” Samuel sniffed, “I'm going to die anyway, it's been tingling all night.”

“Samuel, you're not going to die, okay? Don't ever say that...”

“I'm gonna die soon, like everyone else in my family. After all Sister Rosaria told us, it's really genetic after all. Aaron's right, she's wrong.”

Kris froze just as Jongdae stepped out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel. Samuel's doe-like eyes stared back at him, and Kris was reminded of Bambi, the deer in the cartoon when it had been lost in the forest. His expression softened and he placed a warm hand on Samuel's head, “kid, I don't think that you're going to die because of a virus. I've had hundreds of flu worse than yours, and I'm not dead, am I?”

Samuel shook his head.

“Instead, I've grown taller and stronger that everyone else you've ever met, don't you think?”

Samuel nodded slowly.

“So, the flu isn't always something bad, you catch it once in a while,” he could feel Jongdae and Luhan's eyes on them, “but when it passes by, you'll be stronger than you ever were,” he finished and wrapped his arms around the sniffing kid, “one day, you'll grow as tall as me, maybe taller. Just be brave for now.” Then, he wiped off Samuel's tears and smiled at him. Samuel looked down at his feet.

“Maybe I won't die of the flu,” he mumbled.

“Uh-huh,” Kris smiled on.

“When I die, I want to die of old age naturally and peacefully like my grandfather, in his sleep.”

“That sounds good.”

“Yeah,” Samuel managed a smile, “yeah, that sounds better. To die peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”

Kris' smile froze on his face.

“Yeah, that sounds good enough,” Samuel nodded thoughtfully to himself and shuffled out of the room by himself.

Kris and Jongdae stood rooted there.

“Wait... what?”

*

Jongup was greeted at the doorway of the second guest bedroom by the sound of Junmyeon's professional tone as he spoke into his phone at someone that sounded like his senior. He pressed his palm around the speaker of his phone as Jongup entered the room, mouthed a 'hi' and smiled at Jongup warmly before speaking into the phone again.

“Yes, hyung, I'll try to talk to the technician to speed up the repairs. Yes, I've already called our managers,” Junmyeon paced around the room as Jongup set down his baggage on a bunk next to the window, “yes, Siwon-hyung, I won't miss Sunday Mass, since I'm living on Church grounds, we have a nun here, I'll borrow a bible. You can call me then, we'll pray together through the phone,” Junmyeon closed a palm over the speaker again, “Jongup, would you like to use the middle bunk? I can shift if you like, I think it's warmer here.”

“No, I'm okay,” Jongup smiled, and Junmyeon went back to his conversation with Siwon with another smile on his face. Both dudes never stops smiling.

“Oh, no, I was talking to BAP's Jongup. Seriously? You guys know each other? Oh, you were hypothetical OTPs once for fun when you were stranded in the Muju countryside after being chased off a train by fan-girls? Wow...”

Jongup froze.

“Wow, you guys were even roommates?”

Jongup shuddered at the memory of his days of being roommates with Siwon, that dude was nuts even when he slept. He once recited a whole sermon for nine hours straight the whole time in his sleep into Jongup's poor ears, and when the whole chant was over, Jongup had never felt so exorcised in his life.

“Yes, I promise I will pray more for the good of the team,” Junmyeon emphasized into the cellphone, then, his face blatantly blanched.

“Siwon-hyung, I understand. But making Heechul-hyung go to church via the chloroform method is not going to make him any more a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

Jongup raised an eyebrow.

“No, hyung,” Junmyeon was looking evidently stressed, “no, hyung, that'll kill him. Yes, I'm sure that blackmailing him with mercury isn't going to work well for both sides,” he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Uh, Junmyeon-hyung...”

“I understand that Christianity is key, but you can't, no, no machetes involved, hyung. I'm serious, you can use crucifixes or garlic for that matter, but no knives. Please.”

“Hyung, you want me to talk to him?” Jongup tried.

“I understand, yes,” Junmyeon closed his eyes, “yes, that is murder. I'm glad you have awakened from your... yeah, moment of temptation.”

Jongup raised his other eyebrow.

“Yes, hyung. Good for you, yes, God bless you too, okay, bye.” he slide the red key with his thumb and turned to Jongup, bleary-eyed.

Jongup forced himself to shrug, smile, and went on unpacking, feeling cold in his heart.

*

“EEAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...”

A horrible fusion of a scream, a shriek, a bellow and a howl echoed through the hallway, spreading through the convent like a crack over thin ice. Daehyun dropped the book Melissa had handed him in shock and looked around the room wildly.

“What in the world was that?” he asked, bewildered and his rhetorical question was replied by both kids in the room.

“Mousetrap.”

*

“Heeheehee... somebody screaming...” Yixing giggled as Tao forced him into a chair at the table in the kitchen. Yongguk and Baekhyun were still piling up the sandwich, and were giggling (like idiots, Tao noted) and there was suspiscious whispering coming out from the kitchen cupboard. He pulled out the paper bag of groceries and fished inside for wheat bread and butter before randmly pulling out a maroon-coloured bottle.

“Okay, stay put,” Tao commanded and shoved it into his hands, “why don't you read the nutrient contents on this whilst I make us a sandwich.”

“Heehee... sand... wich...”

Just then, Jongup came trudging into the room with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Okay, so, Junmyeon-hyung drew out a duty list for us a little while ago and decided that Yongguk-hyung should give them writing lessons tomorrow, whilst Daehyun-hyung will give them art classes.”

“Okay,” Yongguk shrugged, “I'm good at language subjects anyway.”

“Yeah, so this'll be their schedule tomorrow whilst he'll take over at night for reading...”

“What is Yixing drinking?” Baekhyun suddenly inquired sharply and everyone spun around to stare at him. Tao squinted at the bottle Yixing was gulping down, his hands busy.

“Cooking sherry, I think...”

Then, he turned white.

“OH !”

A/N

I've decided to name the other two kids Melissa and Penelope. They're roommates.

[ Certain credits to iLuvYesung. You know why. XD ]

Sorry about the long hiatus, I'm actually in the midst of exams right now, but I felt bad for not updating for months. So, I hope you liked this update! :)

For those who din't get the part where Super Junior and BAP were chased by talker fans into the countryside, it's actually a reference from the fic The Countryside Survival Guide by 21 Idiots. The roommate part is actually a tip for the next ongoing chapter to be posted up. Unfortunately, iLuvYesung and I won't be updating anytime soon since I'm having major exams and she's on vacation. But we might whip up the chapter by December.

To those who have also read my other fic, Entangled. Check it out! I'm holding a mini competition for Entangled 2 and it'll star Yesung and IU as the original characters! Thanks for your support!

Also, thank you for all your comments, subscriptions, upvotes and support! And that includes the silent readers out there. :)

I love you all!

Happy November!