CHAPTIRE 8- BABY STEPS

Changmin clutched the white business card in both his hands. Thumbs tracing over the black writing embedded on it. 

Yoochun warned him about the terminator scouts from SM Entertainment who pick out potential trainees. Yet- Changmin didn’t expect them to be so …well trained. Goosebumps ran up and down his arms. That woman might as well be in some government special ops force. 

They send people like that after children? 

Changmin headed back to his gym class after getting scolded by a teacher for loitering in the hallways. He was let off easily since he is a good student and seldom caused any troubles. 

Invisible. 

That is what he is. The teacher even had the gall to ask him if he even went to this school because he didn’t recognize him. Changmin scoffed at the comment. This was a good thing actually- that no one even knew of his existence. What can be worse than that thug –Lau-and his merry band of lackeys finding him and engraving more disgusting lacerations to his al body? 

His wounds suddenly reacted to the unpleasant thought. He felt a prickling sensation on the branching cuts across his back. Grimacing, he let out a deep breath and shut his eyes tightly, trying to forget the painful memories. 

Right at that moment Changmin’s cell phone started to ring from his backpack as he was getting dressed. 

“Yoochun-hyung,” looking at the Caller ID he smiled- hyung always knows when he is in pain. 

“Hello? Hyung!” Changmin happily greeted his older mentor.

-“Changmin-ah, how are you? I’m calling to remind you that you are coming straight home, ok? I called the restaurant they know you’re not coming tonight. Arraso?” 

“Yeah hyung, I know. By the way I got some good news!” Changmin smiled widely. 

-“What is it dongsaeng? Did you find yourself a girl already? Do you need condoms-”

“WHAT!? Get your mind out of the gutter!” Changmin scrunched his face in disgust and profusely scolded his hyung. “One of the creepy terminator SM scouts gave me her business card today!”

Yoochun couldn’t hide the happiness in his voice, “Oh my god Changmin-ah! I knew it! Yes! Now you can be by my side! Yoohoo!” He cheered with merriment. He squealed with happiness like a cut pig into the phone. 

Changmin scowled and pulled the device far away from his ears in fear of damaging his ear canal from the hyperactive hyung. 

The youngest continued the rest of his day with a fresh face. He felt happy and rejuvenated. 

Pacing back and forth at the doctor’s office, Jung Yunho felt uneasy. Butterflies had entered his stomach and refused to disperse. 

A doctor’s check up was all it was supposed to be. Fifteen minutes of blood tests and immunity shots and then go train some more. Yet, as the doctor was checking his throat, he gave Yunho a grave look and made a nurse him to the waiting room. 

Looking at the clock up above his head, it was as if time was passing by slowly. He felt even more anxious with the movement of each second. The weight of his worries increased with each moment. He bit his lips and mangled his own fingers in concern, whispering words of prayer hoping the heavens would hear him and everything will be alright. 

Finally, a nurse arrived and called him back to the office. 

Upon entering the office, the doctor was staring hard at Yunho’s medical records. 

“Ahem,” Yunho cleared his throat, “Doctor Cho?”

“Yunho-ssi, please sit down.” The elderly man in the white coat gestured for the younger boy to sit down across from him in a leather chair. 

Gingerly, Yunho approached his seat and stared at the man across from him with wide eyes. 

“Yunho-ssi, do you have any history of medical ailments in your family?”

Yunho shook his head. 

The doctor nodded and went back to looking through his folder. Once again he raised his head and took out a pen to make a note. 

“Yunho-ssi, what kind of physical activities are you usually involved in?” 

“Um, well I dance…and sing.” Yunho looked puzzled at the sudden questions. “Sir, what is wrong with me?”

The elderly figure looked up wearily at the teenager, “Yunho-ssi, a few months ago you came to me, claiming to have a sore throat, correct? Has it still been bothering you?”

Yunho bit his lower lip and defensively said, “Yes, sometimes I have trouble singing. But… it’s normal. It happens a lot. Then it goes away.” 

“I’m afraid that it is not normal at all. The inside of your throat is completely inflamed at the moment. If you continue to sing without proper treatment you might injure yourself or worse, you might get an infection and lose your voice all together.” Doctor Cho looked at a baffled Yunho with concern.  

The young teenager sat there with a slightly open mouth. All the color from his face was drained. 

“W-what do you mean lose my voice?” 

“I would like for you to stay a few extra hours for some testing. Perhaps it’s not as bad, but aside from the inflammation there is a slight swelling near your tonsils. That is my biggest concern. I will in call your parents.” 

Robotically, Yunho got up from his chair. He was at a loss for words. 
He stayed in private quarters as they prepped him for X-rays and swabbing. After three long hours, the doctor sent him home. The results will come in after a week. 


His body was suddenly wracked with this wave of energy. Yunho was full of emotions. 

All this hard work. 

All the pain and frustration. 

He managed to continue on longer than any other trainees on his team and for what? 

‘What is the point?’  He thought. 

He seethed with anger. Balling his hands into fists he ran like the demons were chasing after him. He ran straight towards any park or isolated area. He needed to expend all this energy or he was going to hurt someone. 

Yunho’s eyes were burning with a red rage. Hot tears were just barely on the surface of his brown pupils. Crying now, he couldn’t stop running. 

Stopping in the middle of a park, he was surrounded by trees. Not a single soul in sight. No one could hear him as he shouted at the top of his lungs, releasing all of his frustrations. 

Like an angry child he sat on the ground. Tears kept pouring down his cheeks. “What now?” He screamed to the sky. “God, where are you? What should I do now?” 

The crying was now ceasing. His breathing returned back to the way it was. He wiped away the tears from his cheeks roughly. 

The sun soon began to set, but he still remained in the park. He began to practice one of his favorite songs. Yelling and shouting out the lyrics to put his voice to full use. He didn’t care if someone were to find him in such a hysteric state now. He worked hard and even his hard wasn’t enough. It wasn’t fair. 

From now on, he will pray. He will pray like he never prayed before and dance until his bones faded away into ashes and blew into the wind. Most importantly- he will sing to his fullest. 

But, the problem wasn’t his new physical ailment. The issue that came with this burden is the fact that he will let down his fellow members. He’s the youngest, but he still feels the burden. There were still plenty of trainees in the company who were better than him. He can easy become replaced. These thoughts circulated in his brain and frustrated him even more. 

Yunho headed back home filled with anguish and guilt. 

Yoochun finally received a much anticipated package in the mail. 

Opening the white box, inside he found dozens of surveillance photos from his father’s consorts and old friends down in China. 

Some were black and white and nearly indistinguishable, but he was able to pick out from a few colored photos three women holding onto twin sisters as they stepped into an orphanage. Despite its rundown external visage, it actually seemed like a nice and homely residence. 

Yoochun sighed in relief that the girls were not sold into ion. 

Quickly he made a phone call to Donghae, who in return called in another favor from a friend, to gather an inconspicuous team of men to take the girls back to Korea. 

Finally everything was moving along smoothly. Deep inside though, he felt that the girls couldn’t stay in Korea for long. They need to be safe and stay protected. Yoochun already thought through this and considered that perhaps the girls can live with his mother and brother in the states- at least temporarily. 

He didn’t know how to convey this idea to Changmin. He always misses his sisters so much and to finally have the chance to be with them-only to be separated again. It felt cruel. But what other choice was there?

Perhaps this music therapy thing was also not such a good idea either. Another thought entered Yoochun’s mind. ‘Even if Changmin entered the company, who would sign the contracts? He was still a minor. Underage.’  Yoochun can only help him so much. Pacing back and forth he tried to map out a perfect plan.

As if a light bulb went off in his head he quickly ran towards his phone to call Donghae again. 

-“Yoochun-ssi, what is it,” Donghae mocked his friend with a playful tone.

“Donghae-yah, what is the phone number to the actor’s department?”

-“Yah! What are you planning?” 

“Nothing, just tell me what it is!” he pleaded. 

Donghae gave out a quick sigh, “I’ll ask Heechul hyung or Jung soo, they would know.” 

Promptly, Yoochun hung up the phone and started pacing back and forth again, lost in his thoughts. 

The next morning, once again, he worried over Changmin’s nightmare episodes. They weren't always frequent, but these days when he went into that phase, it nearly claimed the younger boy’s life. 

Concerned, he set aside all of his morals once again and decided to rummage through Changmin’s room. Maybe he’ll find a clue. He is a growing boy with a traumatizing past. Yoochun knows all this and tries to get Changmin to share, but the teen holds back. 

Perhaps, ashamed?  For the fifth night in a row neither one of them got any sleep and Changmin doesn’t remember what he saw. Or -he was lying. 

Yoochun approached Changmin’s bed, rummaged through his closet, and finally he cast his eyes towards the teen’s desk. Neat and tidy, not a single paper out of order. Only one notebook lay on top of it. It looked like a diary. 

“Jackpot!” Yoochun shouted to nobody in particular. 

As he began to flip through it, he became thoroughly surprised that it was not  a diary at all- but a book of songs- lyrics. Changmin was composing his own songs. Yoochun sat on the bed and skimmed through each line carefully, taking in each word that held meaning. 

This. This was the way into Changmin’s heart.

Yoochun took note of Changmin’s talent and skill imagining the boy writing words down on paper as if an artist who paints a canvas- conveying his deepest emotions. This was the right path for him after all. 

“Hyung?” Changmin stood at the entrance of his room with a perplexed look on his face. “What are you doing here?”

Startled, Yoochun accidentally dropped the notebook and smiled sheepishly, “Uh- hehe- I was just you know…uh, needed some pens…” 

Changmin looked at him suspiciously. “Hyung, why are you in my room?” Self-consciously he grabbed the book off the floor and brought it closer to his chest. He furrowed his eyebrows and waited for an explanation. 

“Changmin-ah I just… you’re really talented. Don’t hide it. Where did you get the ideas for such beautiful words?” Yoochun asked pointing to the notebook. 

“I was just…listening to your piano melodies and I got inspired.” Changmin-embarrassed- traced the spiraled pattern of his notebook.

Yoochun smiled and smothered the kid with an embrace. 

Changmin pushed him back and gave him a stern look with his mismatched eyes. “That still doesn’t explain what you were doing in my room.” 

“I was just-” As the eldest was about to reply with a corny explanation, the door bell rang. Saved by the bell, Yoochun quickly ran towards the door.

Changmin set his backpack down and put away his work uniform and started changing into some sweat pants and a baggy shirt. Today was another difficult day at work. Being an antisocial child and working at a busy restaurant was frustrating to Changmin. Why were people set on making his life miserable? He was under-tipped, pushed aside, tripped into a puddle of soda and other horrible demeaning things. 

He put on his sweat pants and then as he was about to put his shirt on a loud and boisterous woman burst into his room. Changmin’s eyes comically nearly popped out of his head. The woman was quite tall and had shoulder length hair. With a big smile she came up to him and pulled him into an embrace. 

“My lovely son. Oh! You are so beautiful. My dear.” She began to pew out a string of compliments as a dazed and half Changmin stood there wondering what this strange woman wanted from him. 

“H-hyung,” he stuttered, “Yah! Yoochun-ah!” 

Yoochun ran into the room, “Oh,” he gave out a small laugh, “This is Madame Choi, my friend Heechul’s colleague.” 

Changmin looked at Yoochun suspiciously and tried to cover his body as much as he could with the palms of his hands, “What is she doing here? Lady are you ok in the head? I’m not your son.” He pointed a finger in her face. 

She scoffed, “Ugh, how rude. You do not point a finger at a lady.” Madame Choi made a dramatic gesture with her hand and held it up to Changmin’s face. 

Yoochun observed the scene from the side and couldn’t help but grin, “Yup, you’re definitely one of Heechul’s friends. Ok guys, come on out to the living room. We’ll have a nice talk.” 

Madame Choi nonchalantly walked out of the room. She wore some weird orange feather boa scarf around her neck and a long, seemingly Victorian era styled dress. with black pumps. Changmin looked at the woman with disgust. She had way too much make-up on. How unseemly. The red immense amount of red lipstick upon her lips gave her the look of a fish. 

All gathered in the living room, the woman came along with a companion, some guy who went by the name Fernando Chan. Changmin also looked at him with a suspicious gaze. 

This man looked like he walked out of a Don Quixote spin-off novel. Clad in a metal armor from the medieval western novels, he also seemed one sandwich short of a picnic. 

“Yoochun hyung, what’s going on?”

Yoochun seated the two guests on a couch, “Tada,” he gestured with excitement, “These are your new parents!”

Changmin’s eyes widened, “What? What the hell? Why?”

“Minnie, be nice. You can’t just waltz into an SM audition by yourself.” 

“So…how is this going to work?” Changmin inquired. 

“Well, they just pretend to be your parents for a while and help take care of any documentation. I already took care of their passports, ID’s and other important things.”

Madame Choi and Mr. Chan sat on the couch expectantly. Changmin almost anticipated that any minute now he’ll wake up and that this is all just one weird little dream. 

Cocking an eyebrow he glanced back towards his hyung, “But, they don’t look anything like me.” 

“Actually,” Madame Choi spoke up as-a-matter-of factly, “We were chosen by a top anthropologist based on your physical features, and they most certainly match with mine. We have superior genes. Just look at those cheek bones. My my, you will grow up handsomely.”  She patted him on the head and pinched his cheeks the way a mother would. Changmin scrunched up his nose. “Give me a call hon, when you get past eighteen.”

“Ok ok, stop touching me!” He distanced himself away from the overly affectionate woman. 

The four of them began to rehearse the proper family etiquette. The next day Madame Choi will take Changmin and him to audition for SM Entertainment. He was to sing a song that he must prepare in advance and as soon as he finishes, Madame Choi is supposed to start crying and hug him with exuberance and maternal pride. The youngest questioned whether this was a little too much…

Jaejoong glanced at his watch with anticipation. Worry spilled like a lukewarm liquid within his chest. 

For three days straight Yunho has been acting weird and out of place. He even started missing out on a few of their vocal practices-this was so unlike him Jaejoong made note of it.

Right now they were supposed to have another group meeting and he was missing once again. “Yunho-yah…where are you.” 

Yunho burst into the dance hall with a furious aura. Jaejoong sighed in relief as he saw his best friend enter. “Yun, where were you?” 

The youngest barely gave Jaejoong a glance. “Nowhere,” his reply was cold. 

Jaejoong bit his bottom lip and looked at Yunho with pleading eyes, “Yunho, is everything ok? Did some-”

“I’m fine, leave me alone. Go practice your dancing. It needs a lot of work.” He gave a terse reply.  His eyes were dead pan and held a raw energy of emotion that stunned Jaejoong to his place. 

A little frightened by this behavior, Jaejoong insisted on getting more answers out of him- clearly something was wrong with his friend. But, he didn’t want to say anything. What if Yunho was still mad at him because of the incident he caused last week? He shouldn’t say anything. He would only cause more problems. He slumped his shoulders and gave Yunho some distance. 

Hankyung burst into the room with Heechul trailing not too far behind him trying to cling onto his waist. 

Yunho looked at his friends briefly and went back to his dance routine. Hankyung joined him. 

“Hey what’s with the sour face?” Heechul started questioning him. 

Yunho didn’t look back, “Nothing.” 

Heechul sat on the opposite end of the room, not even bothering to greet Jaejoong. They were giving each other the silent treatment. 

Not long after that, Yoochun and Youngwoon joined them. After some joking around they started to actually practice some dance routines because Yunho scolded them for not being serious.

Jung soo entered the hall, with a cup of soy milk in one hand and some paper work in the other. Donghae trailed after his hyung with three other trainees. Together they made up one group as well- eager to debut. 

Clearing his throat, the eldest out of all of them, Jung soo began to speak, “Guys, pay attention. Today there will be auditions for some new trainees. No hazing, no pranks either. Understand? The company is giving out strict rules. Stay in your dorms after late nights and keep order around. No alcohol and most certainly no smoking. These are the rules and they will be enforced. The usual shenanigans must be put to a halt. Ok? We’re trying to impress the parents.” 

The group of boys started to pass around notes and giggled at Jung soo’s speech like school girls. 

“Yah! I’m serious!...ok fine, you can resume your shenanigans tomorrow, just stay away from the parents you weirdoes, stop scaring away the trainees.” Defeated, Jung soo sighed and retreated to a far off corner. Despite being the eldest these kids gave him no respect whatsoever. Youngwoon snuck up behind him and started harassing him along with Heechul. There goes all of his male pride once again. 

Changmin approached the tall SM building. The two actors walk behind him, acting like lovey dovey parents, although he’s warned them dozens of times to keep cool and act like adults. 

According to Madame Choi, her acting standards strictly require that she take on a role with her mind, body, and soul. To be an actress requires more than just a sappy wig, tacky heels, and a housewife’s skirt. 

Mr. Chan escorted his wife to the general hallway before “going off for work,” leaving Changmin to find the whereabouts of the room where his auditions will be held in. 

Nervously he looked himself over at a reflection through a window. He wore a green buttoned shirt with blue and red stripes over his left pocket, and plain trousers. He wondered if dressed too simple. His black hair was flat and matted. Maybe he should’ve added some hair gel? 

He looked over the entire facility. It wasn’t quite that big, but still he found the atmosphere fascinating. On his right an entire hallway had life-sized portraits of H.O.T, Shinhwa, BoA and S.E.S. 

He stood there with his mouth wide open.  “Wow.”

Looking to his left there was a large pink banner leading to his destination point.

He let out a deep breath, de-clenched his hands from the pockets of his pants and headed towards the doors of the room.

His quivering sweaty palms hovered over the door knob.


Hesitantly he turned it.

I HOPE THE FONT IS EASY TO READ. EH....IDK......I FEEL LIKE...MEH.....FINALS WEEK IS APPROACHING....SO MUCH GOING ON...