Running. Running. Running. Continuously his legs keep moving of their own will. Once again he does not know why. His breathing is raspy and his lungs are out of air. He brings his hands out in front of him, trying to maintain some coordination. ‘Where am I?’

Strangely lit hallway. This place looks familiar. A stairs appears and suddenly he is no longer running, but falling. A dark abyss swallows him whole. 

Sweat shimmers on his forehead. His chest is in knots. No longer darkness. Light. Shining bright into his face. He is blinded and cannot see what lays in front of him. 

A soft female’s voice calls out his name. ‘Changmin-ah’

He slowly opens his eyes. He is in a field of flowers. Surrounded by white roses. In his blue high school uniform. The sky is a bright baby blue color. Streams of light enter into his vision, realizing that it is the sun. Everything is calm. Nothing is wrong, but his body warns him, that something is indeed wrong. 

He sees a figure in the distance. Her face is hidden beneath her raven black bangs. She wears a white dress that billows in the wind. She just stands there motionless. Her skin bright and invigorated by the sun. He stares at her. In the pit of his stomach he knows her. That face. He knows her. How can he not remember? The feeling of familiarity is there. That emotion that he had felt before. Why can’t he put a face to this woman? 

He tries to call out to her, only to realize his voice isn’t there. Panicking he clutches his throat and tries to frantically call out to the stoic figure. She hasn’t moved at all. She just stands there. Suddenly, his eyes widen at the sight of another approaching figure. A man. Tall and quite large in build. His face is obscure as well. No eyes, mouth, or nose. No physical features. He isn’t standing too far from the woman. 

Changmin is staring at the two figures. He realizes that the man is holding an object. A gun. His eyes frantic and panicking, he tries to run towards the woman and warn her. Suddenly, he finds himself encased in a plastic box. His face twists in horror as he watches the no-faced man pull the gun up to the back of the woman’s head. 

Changmin is clawing at the plastic and banging against it with all his might. Hot tears fall down his cheeks, but he doesn’t know why. Why does he feel this sorrow? Why is he distressed? All his insides are twisting. 

Once again he tries to shout, to say anything, only to fail once again. Is he invisible? 

He is hysterical. His fingers are bleeding. He doesn’t notice within his blinding rage. 

Changmin’s eyes continue to anticipate the event that is about to occur. 

Silence. Nothing. Everything is frozen in this position. 

‘Changmin-ah’
Eyes filled with tears. His heart is beating frantically, almost choking him. He can’t breathe. The man pulls the trigger. 

Bang. A body falls to into the bed of flowers. Blood staining the white roses. 

‘CHANGMIN-AH!’

An entire day of practice, his body finally feels the fatigue settle in. Yoochun tries to walk off the soreness in his thighs. He stands in the middle of his room. Stripping his clothes off down to his drawers. He walks around and makes sure to lock the door. Just in case Changmin might come barging and see what he was up to and think he might be some bloody ert. He, is of course, a bloody ert, but why give Changmin more black mailing evidence? 

Living with the kid nearly a year now, he was happy that they were bonding a lot more these days. Changmin came home from school and then left for his small job as a busboy. Yoochun was proud he was making the kid learn more about independence. Over time though, he began to develop a personality. Yoochun took notice of it. How picky he is with food, clothing, and especially how he keeps his own room clean. 

He lets out a sigh and then tries a few squats. He crunches his face due to the discomfort. Letting out another deep sigh, he tries to remember the exercise his hyung, Yunho, taught him. Frustrated, he kicked aside his pants that lay carelessly beside his bed and decided to go on the computer instead. He just couldn’t fathom how Yunho could handle all these dance routines. The dancers at SM must be robots. They were so full of talents. . .especially Junsu. 

Still in drawers, he sat there dazed with a stupid smile on his face. Since he entered into the company, he never had the chance to make any friends. Jaejoong was the first to offer his hand, and everyone he knew suddenly accepted Yoochun into their social circle with open arms. That’s all you needed. There was always one person in every group like Jaejoong. 

SM Entertainment trainees loved to make cliques. Everyone was from different cities and everyone spoke different dialects and even on occasion a different language. It was difficult to fit in. If you didn’t have a social standing or support, no matter how talented you were- eventually you would spiral into a cycle of depression. Everything else will just naturally take course and you will be tossed out into the trash bin with the rest of the burn outs. 

It’s sad really. But, Yoochun did not let this stop him. Each morning he would try and get to practice early. Out of the corner of his eye he would spy his new favorite eye candy, Junsu. The boy was full of smiles and happiness. His eyes were just full of life. To Yoochun, he was a bright sunshine who brought him joy in this unholy place of tears and disappointment. 

Continuously, he had more motivation to come and just catch a glimpse of his source of happiness. Wishing and praying on the inside, he wanted secretly to be in the same group as Junsu. But, of course, as luck would have it, Junsu was placed in a group with two other boys. All talented dancers known as Sungmin and Hyuk jae. 

Yoochun snorted in frustration. He especially did not trust that Hyuk jae. Yoochun’s sleaze-radar was set on that kid all the time. He didn’t like the way the two were playful with each other. Later on though, he realized they were long time best friends, even since elementary school.

This frustrated Yoochun. He felt annoyed at the fact that he was raised in ia. He couldn’t fit in with anyone. A constant outcast, always avoided like some plague. Occasionally some kids would come up to him starry eyed and fascinated by the fact that he was from the states, but then they would start spewing out random engrish , such as ‘Yo man, sup man, take it easy,’ along with some offensive hand gestures, but Yoochun didn’t have the heart to tell them, that all these things that they were doing, is just plain distasteful. 

He let it pass. Once again he turned his focus to music. That was what is most important right now. Nothing else. This is the message he must convey to Changmin. Music is the key to living a peaceful and calm life. It will open new doors to a better life. 

Now sitting on the computer, still half , he started web browsing. His face was set in a frozen state with glasses clad on top of nose. Going on different forums and websites, the images quickly moved along, reflecting off of his glasses. Maybe he can watch his now, but Changmin might hear it in the next room. 

He stumbled upon an article by an H.O.T fan. He started reading. His eyes concentrating. The fan girl was upset. It hasn’t been that long since H.O.T had split. ‘Man, they are just so popular. Nobody can touch these guys.’ The fans are pissed off- he noticed from the fan cafe comments. Girls and boys alike were bashing each other left and right. It wasn’t really about the artists, now it was just a battle for self pride. What would these kids know about how H.O.T lived and spent their daily lives like? What right did they have to speak on their behalf? 

Since these were sunbaes from his company, he had no idea what his future was going to be like. SM had lost a lot of money because of their break-up scandal. But hey, things like this are bound to happen all the time. Yoochun sat in his chair pondering what his own future might hold. Bands, celebrities, just famous people in general are always under the public eye. But, eventually they all just disappear and become forgotten. ‘Yet, I doubt H.O.T will ever become forgotten. They are just powerful.’

Sitting and thinking, he realized how scary it would be to debut alone. He can handle it of course. But…being alone is just terrifying. Can he handle it? He continued to scroll for some more information. He stumbled upon another article, “H.O.T Sasaeng Fans Set Fire to An Image of Kang Ta’s Rumored Girlfriend.” And then another,“Tony Ahn’s House Robbed By Woman Claiming That He is the Father Of Her Child?”  More and more articles flooded in with even more crazier stores that would be unbelievable to the ears. "Another one commits suicide...homicide of fan girl...car accident...blood..."

Yoochun stared at the screen wide-eyed. “Holy , the hell is wrong with these girls.” 

He shut down the computer and went to bed. Mind full of worries and sudden fear of what is to come. He just couldn’t sleep that night. He was tossing and turning in bed.‘Why have I chosen such a path.’ He got out of bed suddenly and decided to get a glass of water. Perhaps it will calm his nerves. Eating at night always calmed him. 

As he opened the refrigerator door, he heard a sudden yelp. Caustiously, he his heel around. His ears were trying to pinpoint the exact the direction the sounds came from. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him, but then again  he heard screaming now. Setting everything aside he walked towards the distressed noises. 

He realized they were coming from Changmin’s room. 

He ran to the teenager’s room. The screaming became louder now. Yoochun reached frantically for the door knob. But, it was locked. 

“Aish!” He tried to turn it hard and started banging on the door, “Changmin! What’s wrong? Changmin-ah! Open this door!” 

Patience wearing thin, he took three steps back and rammed his entire body mass into the door. The flimsy lock broke and the mahogany door barely splintered against his strength. 

When he came in, he was greeted by darkness. Not bothering to flip the light switch on, the lights from the kitchen were already flooding in and gave him a full view of what was going on. 

Changmin lay in bed thrashing and squirming all over. His entire body was tossing and turning. His face was bright red and shimmering with sweat. He was twisted in pain, raw emotion was plastered across his visage. Veins was protruding grossly across his neck. It looked like he was having trouble breathing. He was in between hyperventilating and screaming. 

Yoochun quickly ran to his side and tried to gather the frantic body. “Changmin-ah, wake up, c’mon!, WAKE UP! It’s just a dream. Come on. It’ll be ok.”

The teenagers hands were flinging and flying all over. He felt a foreign body and hands trying to hold him down, and this was his natural defense to ward off the stranger. Yoochun’s face was filled with worry. He couldn’t understand what was happening. Changmin was sobbing. 
Yoochun held the boy close attempting to calm him down. Slowly, Changmin opened his eyes to the sight of his hyung’s bare chest. His own clothes were sticky against his body from the sweat. His chest slowly began to rise up and down at a normal pace. 

“H-hyung,” he whispered with a raspy voice, “what’s going on?” 

Yoochun embraces the teenager, “You tell me.” His voice was filled with worry. He pushes the wet hair plastered in front of Changmin’s face back with care and gets him a new set of clothes. When he returned Changmin was already sitting upright, his eyes filled with melancholy and his face exhausted, as if his life was taken out of him. 

He brings a bottle of cold water and some towels and a snack. They sit side by side, no words spoken or exchanged. Changmin doesn’t even comment on Yoochun’s half- appearance. The night floats by and they barely get a wink of sleep. 

Meanwhile within the walls of the infamous dorm rooms of SM Entertainment, Yunho deals with a very unruly Kim Jaejoong. 

“Apologize to Heechul.” 

Jaejoong averts his eyes to the brown lines of the wooden floor boards beneath his feet. He grew tired of staring at Yunho with his piercing gaze that sent shivers down any man’s spine. 
After his spat with Heechul, supposedly over a food product, Jaejoong was dragged by Yunho to the privacy of their dorm rooms. As best as he could, the youngest could not get Jaejoong to cooperate. 

After a brief emotional tantrum once again, Jaejoong calmed down. His face was wet and streaked with tears. Yunho wasn’t angry at his friend’s explosive behavior, but sad that he couldn't confide in him with his troubles. After all they shared a little more than just a friendship. 

Jaejoong crossed his arms and turned his back to Yunho. “Go away,” he whispered. 

But, the youngest wasn’t having any of this. He pulled Jaejoong into an embrace and held him tightly despite the protests. 
By sun down he managed to obtain a partial confession.

“Yunho…my biological mother came back…”

“I know.”

“My mother wants me to spend time with this woman. How can I even look at her? She doesn’t love me. She wants something. Or she came back to take me away.” 

Jaejoong looked at Yunho with pleading eyes. 

Yunho let out a deep breath. “Jae, I’m sure she doesn’t want to take you away. You’re not a little kid anymore. Ok? She came back into your life once she gained a foothold on her own. She just wants to see how you’re doing.”

Jaejoong sniffled and wiped out the remaining tears. “What if people judge me? Say that I’m from a poor family with eight sisters and my biological mother is some ? What will I say? My parents, who raised me, love me so much. I don't want to leave them behind, what if they think I'm so ungrateful brat? What can I do to return all their hard work to them? They wasted so much time with me.” He sat on the floor with his head cast down, rambling all of his emotions out into the air.

Yunho looked at him sympathetically and sat beside him. “Jae…listen…” He put the palm of his hand on Jaejoong’s back. “You aren’t alone in this. I’m here, beside you and I always will be. If you want to return all that they have done for you, than you just have to work harder. Your parents raised you an Debut and show to everyone what you are capable of. Then you will become untouchable.”

They sat in each other’s embrace. 

There was more to Jaejoong’s qualms and sudden worries. He always felt a pang of loneliness and distrust within his heart. After all, what is there to expect from a boy who was abandoned by his own mother. Despite being loved by eight sisters and two loving parents, the initial underlying feelings of being abandoned always remained a part of him. 

Even with Yunho by his side, he felt calm settle into his body, but there was always a feeling of anxiety that these moments may not last. When he felt that emotion, he felt the need to grab Yunho’s hand or gravitate towards him. Yet, sometimes Yunho would hesitate. Fearing he may ruin his image. 

However, when granted moments to themselves, such as this, Yunho would never leave Jaejoong alone. He would bring him close and hold him tightly, softly caress his cheeks and give him a peck on the lips. 

It was dangerous to behave like this, but somehow they filled a void within each other’s hearts. In this competitive atmosphere and wracked with his own emotional problems, Jaejoong was in need of protection, not only from the other trainees, but from himself as well. Yunho just naturally became the candidate to fill that role. 

“Jaejoongie, you can’t behave like this each time something happens at home. We still have an image to keep up. If the company sees you act like this, you could get the whole group in trouble, we can get kicked out.” Yunho tried to reason with the eldest.

“I’m sorry Yunho it won’t happen again. But I’m not apologizing to that freak Heechul.” Stubbornness was set deep into his eyes. 

Only four members in Four Seasons and two were at it like cats and dogs. Heechul and Jaejoong were very similar in personality, except Jaejoong sometimes tended to be soft-spoken and quiet. But, both were great friends and brought warmth to Yunho’s heart. He didn’t know how they will fare forward after this. 

After a tumultuous day, Yunho returned back to the practice rooms. He put the music on and let the rhythm take over his body. He let all his worries slide out of the door and once he went into training mode, nothing can interrupt him. Within these four walls he unleashed his true self. The very core of who he is and shall one day become. He has big dreams and they will come true. 

                                                                                                     ***

Changmin slowly began to pack for class. His motions were slow. He felt slightly disoriented. The violet pools beneath his eyes indicated his lack of sleep even further. 

Yoochun was also slightly groggy in the next room. Between the two of them they barely slept even four hours. “Changmin-ah, don’t go to work today, come straight home.” Yoochun said sternly.

Changmin nodded and went straight to class, without eating breakfast. He didn’t have an appetite. Normally, he would eat anything he could set his eyes on, but this time, he couldn’t stomach anything he looked at. 

After the nightmare he went through, everything made him feel nauseous. 

This didn’t stop him from being a good student and coming to class.

Still tired and sleepy, he barely rummaged through his gym uniform. Last to come to the locker room and the last to leave. No one paid any attention to his existence. As far he knew he was invisible.

Today in class, they will play badminton. Outside. He slammed his locker door shut with frustration.“Urggh…I’m going to sweat so much.” Changmin shrugged his shoulders at the thought. 

He stood there watching the rackets swing back and forth, and his eyes followed the movement of the ball. This game wasn’t so bad. Changmin liked it. Finally he was invited to join a team. 

He progressed and slowly improved. Some girls gave him winks and smiles. He worked even harder. He swung his arms with expert precision. 

However, his smiles and excitement disappeared when he noticed a strange vehicle parked outside of the gates of the school. He didn’t give it much thought. 

He looked once again over to the car, only to meet with the eyes of a woman clad in formal business attire. She wore a pair of sunglasses and popped some bubble gum into . She stood by the hood of the car. She held some kind of a paper in her hands, slowly she slid the glasses lower down the bridge of her nose and gave Changmin a daring gaze. 

Stopping mid-game Changmin’s senses told him that danger was near and that he must run. He swallowed some spit roughly and began to run. “No, this can’t be. I have to call Yoochun hyung. Oh god. He found me. My father found me.” Panicking he tried to run back inside the school. 

He ran frantically inside the empty hallways to hide. The woman was not discouraged though, she was quite an athlete as well. She ran after Changmin like a gazelle. 

Cornered like a deer against the wall, he stared up at her with frightened eyes. The woman looked at him bemused at this the frantic child. 

Suddenly she reached inside her jacket pocket. Changmin flinched and inched away from the intimidating person. ‘Oh god it’s a gun. I’m done for.’

But, what she pulled out was a simple business card. With a smile she handed it to Changmin. “ Congratualations, you have just been recruited into SM Entertainment. I saw you play just a moment ago. You have an amazing physique. Do you know how to sing? Oh that’s not important, we can teach you anyways. What’s your name?”

Changmin looked at her with bewilderment. “Uh…Ch-changmin. Shim, Changmin.” 

The woman grabbed his hand and shook it. He still stood there glued to the floor.

“We have auditions coming up soon. I would love to see you there. Please consider joining our company.” 

Then she just left. 

Changmin stood there with his mouth wide open.

LOL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? HMM....THE RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMING ALONG SPLENDIDLY....I'M GETTING BETTER AT CATCHING TYPOS...HOPEFULLY THIS WILL TURN OUT  BETTER WITH TIME....HMM?